"What's the difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail."

September 4, 2010 6:09 AM

Symantec’s “Hack Is Wack,” And Cybersecurity’s Most Embarassing Marketing Campaigns: Hack is Wack previously Jackie Chan - Kaspersky 2010 Antivirus Commercial. Ex Gang member turns Computer Hacker. Don't Copy That Floppy. & Don't Copy That Floppy 2.0.
posted by Fizz (14 comments total)

Jackie Chan on a segway working his martial arts magic against glow in the dark viruses...clearly the greatest thing you'll see all morning.
posted by Fizz at 6:29 AM on September 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah, say what you will about that Kaspersky commercial, but if you had your own company and you were making commercials for it, wouldn't you want to be in the commercials with Jackie Chan?
posted by Naberius at 7:34 AM on September 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also wack:

* When Animals Attack
* Cool Cherry TicTac
* Crack
* Tappet brothers Click and Clack
* Cathy's constant refrain of "Ack!"
* Being slashed by a knife named "Mac"
posted by everichon at 8:14 AM on September 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

Naberius: "Yeah, say what you will about that Kaspersky commercial, but if you had your own company and you were making commercials for it, wouldn't you want to be in the commercials with Jackie Chan?"

This is basically the entirety of my entrepreneurial plan.
posted by subbes at 8:18 AM on September 4, 2010 [4 favorites]

This post is incomplete without Chicken Vs. Dokken.
posted by darksasami at 9:07 AM on September 4, 2010

Or, possibly, without a working link.
posted by darksasami at 9:08 AM on September 4, 2010

Ok....that is either the greatest advertisement or the worst. I'm not sure.
posted by Fizz at 9:18 AM on September 4, 2010

The bilingual, CG, segway, martial arts craziness of the Kaspersky commercial adds up to way more than the sum of its parts.
posted by Gordafarin at 10:08 AM on September 4, 2010

My favorite dumb cybersecurity ad came in a business magazine and featured an earnest young security expert. It was a Q+A format. Favorite Superhero: Superman. That sort of thing. Halfway down the list was Favorite Architectural Feat: THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA ... which, as history tells us, didn't really work. Impressive to look at and all, but in the end, it was just way too big a thing to maintain and monitor. And, in the end, it was undone by a disgruntled insider who just opened some gates and waved a bunch of Manchurian invaders through. Beijing fell quickly thereafter.
posted by philip-random at 10:50 AM on September 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

None of these giant antivirus companies would exist if it weren't for a vast (perceived or real) horde of hackers trying to hax everyone's box. This leads to them doing anything that makes them look like they are trying to tackle the problem, without actually doing anything that would systemically make their services less needed in the future. Sort of a sheepdog telling wolves to become vegetarians in sonnet form.
posted by breath at 11:13 AM on September 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

interesting how the corporate world really works. it's far better to be ripped off for millions by some fellow suited glandhanding shakes-your-hand-and-looks-you-in-the-eye liar than by some scruffy teenager in the back of the bus who's taking you for occasional pennies.

This kind of crap ("Hack Is Wack" etc) is way more about blunt CONTROL OF CULTURE than it is about fairplay.
posted by philip-random at 11:55 AM on September 4, 2010

Ummmm, so if I spend time on a warez site, a lame rapper will infiltrate my dreams?

CURED!
posted by Samizdata at 12:01 PM on September 4, 2010

"How ya gonna do it? Gonna PS/2 it!"
posted by kurumi at 7:00 PM on September 4, 2010

something linux mumble something
posted by flabdablet at 12:59 AM on September 5, 2010