Why stair move?

September 24, 2010 8:39 AM

Dog confused by Tube escalator (SLYT, kinda)
posted by mippy (58 comments total)

Awwwwwwww.
posted by smackfu at 8:41 AM on September 24, 2010

At least he is TRYING to walk, and not just standing there on the wrong side with an enormous shoulder bag jutting out behind him.
posted by hermitosis at 8:42 AM on September 24, 2010 [37 favorites]

This is also how I imagine dogs type and code, too.
posted by spec80 at 8:49 AM on September 24, 2010 [9 favorites]

Why is it that people always stand still on escalators? It's like stairs! Stairs that move! You can keep walking! It's not a damn elevator!
posted by cronholio at 8:51 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

aw! little guy.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:52 AM on September 24, 2010

Getting annoyed at people standing on an escalator is a sign you have too much stress in your life.
posted by smackfu at 8:54 AM on September 24, 2010 [26 favorites]

Stand to the right, walk on the left. I live out in the sticks, and even I know that rule. Is it different where you live?

Those moving slidewalks in airports? I love to walk really fast on those, it's like being a dog in a car.

Yeah, the dog is terribly cute. I wouldn't say he is confused at all, though. He knows exactly what to do on stairs.
posted by Xoebe at 8:55 AM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

i always stop on escalators. it's like a free little fun-ride in the middle of your day.
posted by fallacy of the beard at 8:56 AM on September 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

Its funny, but my vizsla does this - If he's swimming, and you pick him up out of the water, he keeps kicking his legs as though he was swimming. Its hilarious.

In other dog news, our GSP puppy caught and killed a rabbit this morning. He was prancing about the yard, so proud; "I have a dead rabbit in my mouth! AND YOU DON'T DUMB HUMAN". I was actually kind of sad I couldn't let him keep it.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:57 AM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Getting annoyed at people standing on an escalator is a sign you have too much stress in your life a train to catch, dammit.

Now get the hell out of my way. [/NYC]
posted by The Bellman at 8:58 AM on September 24, 2010 [7 favorites]

too much stress in your life

Of course, I don't disagree.

Is it different where you live

Stand to the right, stand to the left is what we have over here. Oh, and the middle as well.

Back on topic: the dog is terribly cute, indeed.
posted by cronholio at 8:58 AM on September 24, 2010

I always test physics by hopping in the air just before the escalator/walkway goes back under the floor. (Hint: this is fun with those fast-moving airport walkways, like at Sky Harbor.)
posted by not_on_display at 8:59 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

So cute. If I were holding a dog on the escalator, I'd be standing still, too.
posted by elpea at 8:59 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

We need more posts about pets being confused by things.
posted by Mister_A at 9:00 AM on September 24, 2010 [19 favorites]

Dog handled the escalator better than half the tourists coming out of the subway in Chicago. When you reach the top of the escalator you MAY NOT STOP even if you aren't immediately certain which direction you are going.
posted by Babblesort at 9:00 AM on September 24, 2010 [12 favorites]

fallacy of the beard: "Those moving slidewalks in airports? I love to walk really fast on those, it's like being a dog in a car."

My ideal airport slidewalks would have multiple bands, each moving faster than its neighbor, so you could get up to relative highway speeds but while walking. And some kind of space-age foam rubber cushion/baffle setup at the exit end so you wouldn't have to merge right again to slow down, but just be flung.

My ideal airport would have a crack legal team to handle all personal injury lawsuits, obviously. These lawyers would have magical powers and could fly. It'd dispense with airplanes, and passengers would just be carried everywhere in hammocks slung between magical supersonic flying lawyers.
posted by Drastic at 9:02 AM on September 24, 2010 [25 favorites]

Getting annoyed at people standing on an escalator is a sign you have

a job.

But people almost always get out of the way if I walk up behind them and politely excuse myself.

Those who don't, I hurl to their deaths.
posted by pracowity at 9:02 AM on September 24, 2010 [10 favorites]

I witnessed a similar hilarious episode to Pogo_Fuzzybutt a few months ago with my brother's year-old pit bull mix. We were at my grandma's house, with a swimming pool, and trying to encourage the dog to go in the water, knowing she'd have a blast. She was afraid to go in.

After some ineffective coaxing, my brother decided to just pick her up, go to stand in the water, and slowly lower her in. 1 foot above the water, she was fine. 6 inches above the water, and she started kicking slowly. 2 inches above the water, she started kicking furiously. It was amazing. She had never been in water before in her life, and she knew exactly what to do. She was a crazy splash machine when he finally dipped her toes in. It was awesome. Pull her out, she stops. Get her close again, cue dog paddle.

He let her go on her own a few times, and she always headed for the exit; my theory is that she's not a big fan of swimming. She just wanted out. Usually she'd point toward the stairs, but a couple times she pointed the wrong direction and tried to lift herself out of the deep end. She managed to successfully use the ladder, which was pretty impressive.
posted by phunniemee at 9:06 AM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Drastic: You would really love you some Asimov. He describes a transportation system based on that idea, and throws in chase scenes to boot.
posted by wires at 9:07 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I always test physics by hopping in the air just before the escalator/walkway goes back under the floor.

Does it usually pass?
posted by ODiV at 9:08 AM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

...a couple times she pointed the wrong direction and tried to lift herself out of the deep end

isn't the entire pool the deep end from a dog's perspective?
posted by fallacy of the beard at 9:18 AM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Getting annoyed at people standing on an escalator is a sign you have too much stress in your life.

On my morning commute is SIX STORIES from the subway platform to the street. If I'm going to be stuck standing behind some bloated tourist for eleven minutes, they'd better at least write a note for my boss to explain why I'm late.
posted by hermitosis at 9:20 AM on September 24, 2010

If you are already running a little late because you had to change shirts before you left home because you got poop on your shirt when changing a diaper, and your transfer to the A train from the F train took an inexplicable 20 minutes during rush hour, and you get off the A train at Broadway Junction and are transferring to the L train because, yes, you have a three-train commute, and you see on the display screen at the bottom of the huge escalator that the next L train is leaving in 1 minute and the following train is leaving in 22 minutes, and that huge escalator has a tidy line of single-file riders on the right and a clear line of passage on the left EXCEPT FOR ONE DOUCHBAG BLOCKING EVERYBODY FROM WALKING UP THE ESCALATOR, and so you know you're going to miss that train and have to stand there for 21 more minutes, that's when you realize that there is no hope for civilization.

And that dog is cute.
posted by etc. at 9:21 AM on September 24, 2010 [6 favorites]

What always feels odd, though, is going up/down a deactivated escalator.

Odd Sensation Induced by Moving-Phantom which Triggers Subconscious Motor Program:

Our motor actions are sometimes not properly performed despite our having complete understanding of the environmental situation with a suitable action intention. In most cases, insufficient skill for motor control can explain the improper performance. A notable exception is the action of stepping onto a stopped escalator, which causes clumsy movements accompanied by an odd sensation. [...]

posted by pracowity at 9:24 AM on September 24, 2010 [9 favorites]

Dogs using pool ladders is always awesome. One of my friend's families had an awesomely spooky-smart golden retriever, the sort that probably have a larger working vocabulary than many allegedly-sentient people, who could work the door to the deck, go for a swim, and climb back out of the pool when he was done. For the months their pool was active, I'm pretty sure the dog spent most of his waking daylight hours damp.

It's a shame that was years and years before youtube existed.
posted by Drastic at 9:25 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

On my morning commute is SIX STORIES from the subway platform to the street. If I'm going to be stuck standing behind some bloated tourist for eleven minutes, they'd better at least write a note for my boss to explain why I'm late.

If the difference between walking up the escalator and standing on the escalator is what makes you late for work, you were running late to begin with. I like to blame my problems on tourists, but come on.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:25 AM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

What always feels odd, though, is going up/down a deactivated escalator.

Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
posted by Who_Am_I at 9:26 AM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Getting annoyed at people standing on an escalator is a sign you have too much stress in your life.

Or you live in DC. STAND TO THE RIGHT, TOURISTS!
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:26 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Epic Corgi Swimming in Slow Motion

I keep meaning to do a mega Corgi post (with more than just cute Youtube vids), but this will have to do for now.
posted by kmz at 9:27 AM on September 24, 2010

Apparently if you hold a dog above a mirror, they think it's water and start trying to paddle. I've never had a mirror and a lift-able dog in the same place at once to try this out, though.

One of our cats could climb ladders easily, and if the other needed the loo when she was locked in the house (we didn't have a litter box as she used the garden) she knew to do it in the bathroom.
posted by mippy at 9:27 AM on September 24, 2010

I cut up my card and handed it to the clerk...

i love those little moments of drama people inject into the day.
posted by fallacy of the beard at 9:30 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

oops wrong thread
posted by fallacy of the beard at 9:31 AM on September 24, 2010

If the difference between walking up the escalator and standing on the escalator is what makes you late for work, you were running late to begin with.

Actually I got so sick of this problem that I actually run up the actual stairs, which are of course totally empty. Beats waiting in line behind 20 people to even get ON the escalator...

The 53rd/Lexington station is sooo effed up.
posted by hermitosis at 9:31 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

hermitosis: On my morning commute is SIX STORIES from the subway platform to the street. If I'm going to be stuck standing behind some bloated tourist for eleven minutes, they'd better at least write a note for my boss to explain why I'm late.

I'll see your six stories and raise you the third longest single elevator in the world, 9 stories underground. And yeah, I walk up and down all 437 feet of that bastard. Cuts 5 minutes off my workout in the evening, though.

etc.: that huge escalator has a tidy line of single-file riders on the right and a clear line of passage on the left EXCEPT FOR ONE DOUCHBAG BLOCKING EVERYBODY FROM WALKING UP THE ESCALATOR, and so you know you're going to miss that train and have to stand there for 21 more minutes, that's when you realize that there is no hope for civilization.

THIS. With the added pleasure that said train will likely be packed because the station looks like this and the notification system is b0rked. So yeah, stress is there and then exacerbated.
posted by zombieflanders at 9:34 AM on September 24, 2010

About a year or so ago, I was in a crowded movie theater. Our movie had just ended, and as we were exiting the theater, on the third floor, an announcement is made that there is a fire in the theater - on one of the lower floors - and that everybody must evacuate the theater calmly but immediately. Fire trucks are on the scene and the scene through the windows outside is a mess of rain and red trucks and people pouring out of the giant South San Francisco Cineplex. The whole place smells like smoke and burnt popcorn...I kid you not. So here we all are...a hundred of us or so, filing onto the 1 person wide escalator. And nobody is moving. Seriously. It's a fire in a theater! And people are just standing there. It wasn't even that one person was hanging it up. It was more like crowd mentality took over and the idea of TOTAL CALM was taken with extreme nerd view. All I could figure is that these people just don't have enough stress in their lives. Or the Benjamin Button gave them all some special effect that we were just. not. getting.

(Naturally, I was very tempted to yell the one word that you're not supposed to...but, yeah. Especially while standing on the escalator. How awkward would that have been? People wouldn't even be able to step away. Glorious; wish I'd had more courage.)
posted by iamkimiam at 9:34 AM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

That was very sweet. And it reminds me of something I occasionally do to my dog. When I see him sleeping on his back with his feet in the air, I like to gently grab his front legs and start twitching them forwards and back like he was sprinting, while blowing in his face to simulate wind.

More than once he's woken up with a really confused look. I like to believe that this is because he is wondering how he went from running to being suddenly upside down on a pillow, but I'm pretty sure, the reality of it is him trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

Either way, it entertains both of us.
posted by quin at 9:36 AM on September 24, 2010 [7 favorites]

"Epic Corgi Swimming in Slow Motion"

I thought "No way a Corgi is swimming, their little stumpy legs aren't enough to keep them going, they would sink like a rock", so I clicked it and lo and behold it's wearing a life jacket.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 9:52 AM on September 24, 2010

"No way a Corgi is swimming, their little stumpy legs aren't enough to keep them going, they would sink like a rock"

There's still natural buoyancy though. While that Corgi has a life jacket on for safety, there's plenty of videos of Corgis swimming without a life jacket in pools: 1 2
posted by kmz at 9:58 AM on September 24, 2010

Amazing. I will have to see if ours will swim. (lifejacket at the ready, just in case!)
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 9:59 AM on September 24, 2010

Why is it that people always stand still on escalators?

'Cause if I wanted to walk on my own, I'd have taken the stairs, duh.
posted by octothorpe at 10:06 AM on September 24, 2010

I recently saw a cross between a corgi and a border collie. Had the corgi's body, but the border collie's coloring and temperament. I felt so sorry for the little guy, having to go through life as a border collie in a corgi's body. That right there isn't a god with a sense of humor. That's a god with a cruel streak.

Um, back on topic, the video reminded me of serious cat on the treadmill.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:29 AM on September 24, 2010 [6 favorites]

To answer the questions of: Why do people do "insert annoying thing"?:

I may be breaking The Code, but it's for the same reason that some people around you: Drive 10 miles under the limit in the fast lane, Block the entire aisle with their cart in the supermarket, Take up two parking spaces or double park on busy streets, Continue reading while walking on a subway platform, Use their cellphones in inappropriate places, Write in books in the library, Ride bikes on busy sidewalks, Talk during movies, Stop in front of you suddenly for no apparent reason, and about a hundred million other things we do.


It's because we hate you and those like you. Yes YOU. There's two clubs: People like you, and the rest of humanity. As a member of ROH, it is my duty to make you as miserable as possible, while expending the least amount of energy.

If you've ever had ANY of the above things happen to you. It's because the rest of us absolutely HATE you. You're ugly, stupid, and everyone knows it. Oh, and you're an adopted test tube baby, and you had a tail when you were born. A lizard tail. A purple one. Ew.

.... Either that or....

People generally tend to think of themselves as kind, considerate, productive members of society and like to be treated fairly because, in all fairness, they always treat others with the same compassion and consideration they expect from the world. In reality this is impossible to achieve. People do inconsiderate, rude, selfish things every day without even realizing it. One day when our brains can make Bluetooth-esque psychic connections available, I'm sure we'll all be aware that 14 people back someone is running late to meet their hot date, or for an important meeting, but until then, we're just kinda going to have to deal with it, and realize we ALL do similar things almost every day, rarely on purpose, more often accidentally, and very often without even realizing it.

I would, however, like to take this time to openly apologize for both the annoying thing(s) I do today to annoy the shit out of someone, and also to apologize for fantasizing about following you home and beating you to death with a claw hammer for that annoying thing you do.
posted by Debaser626 at 10:38 AM on September 24, 2010 [10 favorites]

Oh... and cute dog... I miss my puppy!
posted by Debaser626 at 10:39 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

the third longest single elevator escalator in the world

I hate reading things like this on Wikipedia when they are not linkwrapped in [[List of longest escalators]]. What are first and second, damnit!?*.

As for standing vs walking on escalators, I'm a walker. My usual train of thought whilst doing so is pondering what percentage of the standers I overtake are on their way to a post-work gym session, for which they pay ~£40/mo membership.
posted by Slyfen at 10:57 AM on September 24, 2010

I prefer to stand on escalators most of the time because, if I wanted to walk up stairs, I would take the fucking stairs.

My flat feet hurt a lot and are large and unwieldy. Orthotics only make them more large and unwieldy. My legs are chubby and very short. To sum up, stairs are Satan.

But I always, always stand to the right and try to make myself as small as possible. And, if I'm chasing a subway, of course I'm going to walk/run on the escalator. But I'm not going to get pissy about the people standing on the right.

In other news: that dog is adorable.
posted by Ouisch at 11:15 AM on September 24, 2010

Cute dog. You know what to do when people just STAND THERE all haphazard and clueless and you're trying to catch a train?

You hit the "stop" button.
posted by stormpooper at 11:30 AM on September 24, 2010

One day when our brains can make Bluetooth-esque psychic connections available, I'm sure we'll all be aware that 14 people back someone is running late...

Right. But until then, there are a few simple rules that people can follow to make life easier for everyone. Rules like "leave one lane open on the escalator for people to walk up" or "when you get off the escalator/train car, keep moving."

Because if you're leaving a train, the odds are good that someone else will be leaving the train after you. And if there are 14 people behind you on an escalator in the subway, odds are that at least one of them is in a hurry to get somewhere. You don't have to be psychic to know these things.

Look, I get it. I forget and block peoples' paths sometimes, too. I'm not saying we should chase the offenders with torches and pitchforks. I'm not even saying we should be impolite to them. But let's not pretend it's OK to be obvlivious of where you are, who else is with you, or what they're doing.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:10 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Very cute doggie. Say, does anyone know, is that some specific breed of dog? Cuz sometimes I think of getting a dog and that guy looks like a type I might like..
posted by dnash at 12:43 PM on September 24, 2010

Getting annoyed at people standing on an escalator is a sign you have too much stress in your life.

Agreed. Earlier this month at the airport I walked the whole way down the moving walkway going the other way (turned out to be harder than it looked). When I got to the end, I looked at the old guy about to get on and said, "These things aren't helpful at all."
posted by yerfatma at 1:08 PM on September 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

Unexpected swing of shopping bag precisely at ankle height of me proceeding at speed down left hand side of escalator.

Not paying attention to your children on a moving staircase with metal teeth weighing several tons of death.

Flatulent dogs (mostly a District Line problem).

Surely there are several places you can stand to read that map which will not impede my progress or that of those around me who know where we're fucking going.

If you're not going to shower please no eat the spicy food bad start to morning.

Northerners - I don't go up there annoying them now do I with my fashionable clothes and Cockerney accent.

Museums closing at five when Chelsea are at home and planned engineering closures on eight (EIGHT!) lines necessitating a journey home via the West End on a Saturday night, Jesus H Christ.

--------

She's clearly manipulating that dog's forepaws.
posted by tigrefacile at 3:55 PM on September 24, 2010

Dear New Yorkers, I feel your pain. Apologies for the self-link

On topic, that is adorable. I love how the dog was trying to figure out how to stay with the movement.
posted by bwg at 4:44 PM on September 24, 2010

I am not a dog person, but that was totally fucking adorable. I want that dog. And from me, that's saying a lot.
posted by zardoz at 4:55 PM on September 24, 2010

More cats on a treadmill. These two are having a bit less success.
posted by teraflop at 5:13 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Escalator gripers:

If you're late because of an event that occurs every day... You're not late because of that event. You're late because you can't time your route properly.

Thanks for playing.
posted by Rendus at 6:28 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

If you're late because of an event that occurs every day... You're not late because of that event. You're late because you can't time your route properly.

Groups, or pairs, of tourists are essentially random.

I say if you're blocking at least four people, everyone grabs a limb and it's over the edge with you.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:33 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

But people almost always get out of the way if I walk up behind them and politely excuse myself.

You should get one of these.


And move to Japan, I guess.
posted by Evilspork at 6:43 PM on September 24, 2010

I'm so happy to live in the country. I haven't seen an escalator in years. Or a tourist.
posted by wv kay in ga at 11:24 PM on September 24, 2010

Rendus: "Escalator gripers:

If you're late because of an event that occurs every day... You're not late because of that event. You're late because you can't time your route properly.

Thanks for playing."

Clearly you've never lived in Hong Kong. I plan my travel every day to leave plenty of time so I don't have to rush, and yet there are always delays, especially when mouth-breathers block escalators.

Thanks for playing? You wouldn't last 2 minutes in our game.
posted by bwg at 12:36 AM on September 25, 2010 [1 favorite]