My fingers are bleeding just thinking about the paper cuts.
October 7, 2010 1:21 PM   Subscribe

There is only one Star Wars Trilogy, just so we are all clear on this.
posted by Artw at 1:25 PM on October 7, 2010 [9 favorites]

Episodes I-III explained. In paper.
posted by mazola at 1:28 PM on October 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

That's just the expanded version of the scrolltext at the beginning, including the complete text of the treaty of Spacephalia.
posted by Artw at 1:30 PM on October 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

No Ewoks = Win
posted by dersins at 1:33 PM on October 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

That is AWESOME!
posted by PuppyCat at 1:35 PM on October 7, 2010

non-stop ads = Fail.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:37 PM on October 7, 2010

Beautiful. It had a real Wes Anderson feel to it, too.
posted by moviehawk at 1:41 PM on October 7, 2010

I think there are only onmouseover ads. Move your cursor elsewhere and you're golden. And NoScript or some other plugin seems to have saved me the 25 seconds of pre-ad.

Also: the papercrafter's website, home to more stop-motion paper animation.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:44 PM on October 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

Im quite disappointed. I wish he had done more character development and really explained why the jet fighter space ships were attacking that small moon. Also, how did that white guy end up hanging upside down in the snow?
posted by subaruwrx at 1:58 PM on October 7, 2010 [3 favorites]

I couldn't stand the initial ad, and so haven't see it. I'm a big fan of papercraft as well. I'm wondering if it might be time to start using "Warning: Ads" in fpp - I might be willing to cope with an ad at another time.

Sorry for the tangent, I will give No-script a try ( I held off because I'm okay with some ads, and some worthy sites need them ). And please keep those papercraft posts coming, regardless.
posted by not_that_epiphanius at 2:03 PM on October 7, 2010

Ok, I liked that a lot. And I'm liking no-script as well.

posted by not_that_epiphanius at 2:10 PM on October 7, 2010

1:20 is so sweet.
posted by hanoixan at 2:16 PM on October 7, 2010

Some time in the last couple minutes he replaced the ad-player with an embedded YouTube video. Huzzah! Direct Link.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:18 PM on October 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

A kid on a desert planet finds two droids who are trying to give a message to an old man. Upon finding him, the message turns out to be a plea for help from a princess. The man suddenly reveals he knew the kid's father, and that he should come with. They go to a bar, get into a fight, then find transport off the planet with a ruffian and his tame bear.

On the way the old man tells the kid some mumbo-jumbo that no one would ever believe, but the kid eats it up. The ruffian turns out to be the smartest one. They reach the enemy fortress-base-moon-thing (which is rather bigger than they expected) and, in an improbable sequence of events, rescue the princess despite there being fifty kajillion guards, mostly because none of them have ever shot a laser gun in their collective lives. On the way out the old man sacrifices himself to aid their escape. He and his killer, a life-sized Lego figure, seem to have some history together.

Off they go to a hidden base somewhere or other. It turns out the soldiers actually _let_ them go, so their moon-base-thing could follow them to it and blow it to kingdom come. Our heroes land there, and it's revealed they have the plans for the space-moon and they're going to try to blow it up first. The ruffian has none of it. There follows an action scene in which they are successful largely because the ruffian is actually a good guy and the kid sees dead people.

Everyone is a little older now. They are in another base that the bad guys from the first movie, a little cheesed understandably at losing their moon-thing and the horde of action figures with which it was staffed, send huge, walking Kenner playsets to attack them. The ruffian is now a general for some reason, even though the kid seems to be just a fighter pilot. The kid goes out into the cold, cold wastes, is knocked out by The Bumble, but before he can say "I will love him and hug him and call him George" is rescued by the ruffian. In the wastes, the ruffian uses the viscera of a green kangaroo as a makeshift blanket to save the kid's life.

They put the kid in an aquarium and he gets all better. The groups split: the ruffian, the princess, the gayest robot and the tame bear go to meet the ruffian's friend, the last black man in the galaxy. The kid goes with the trash compactor robot to the dinosaur room from the old World of Energy exhibit at EPCOT. There he meets the ancient sage Grover. He is given a pep talk of the kind usually used to sell audio cassettes that promise "Own Your Success" and "Money Can Be Yours." In an evil tree he finds out the head under the Lego guy's Lego mask is his own yellow, smiling visage. Oh, and he learns magic.

He dreams his friends are in trouble so he zooms across the universe to save them, although Grover tells him he shouldn't. It turns out the last black guy betrayed them to Lego Man, who uses a fearsome device to turn the ruffian into a plastic brick, which is then taken by a particularly dirty action figure to be sold to a collector. Horrified, the black man betrays him, and helps the princess, her robot and the tame bear escape. Meanwhile the kid confronts the evil Lego figure, gets his hand removed, and is told that he is actually part-Lego! To escape, he jumps into a big metal hole. He telepathically contacts the princess, and together they all fly away zoom.

Everyone is a little older, but the movie thinks the audience is younger for some reason. The "kid" is now the oldest boy in the cosmos.

Since the last movie, toys have taken over the universe. Our heroes, making the most of the new dimestore order, forge onward on their personal quest. They return to the desert planet from IV, to confront the collector and his Muppet horde. Attempt one: send the robots in. Result: FAIL. Attempt two: send the princess in. Result: SEXY FAIL. Attempt three: the "kid" dressed as David Copperfield. Result: SUCCESS?! With help from the black guy, sole survivor of his noble race, they rescue and de-plastify the ruffian. The collector and his horde are defeated in a battle that the Sarlacc Travel Guide rates ★★★★★.

They split into three groups: group one will get spaceships to destroy SUPER-fortress-base-moon-thing-2000. It consists of BJ the black guy and the bear. Group two is the princess, the ruffian, and the wardrobe robots. The princess and the ruffian are an item by now. They'll venture into the Teddy Bear Picnic to destroy the defense system for the SUPER-base. Group three is the "kid," who will confront Lego-dad.

Black guy is successful, even though "IT'S A TRAP." P+R+Rs are successful, despite a severe case of fleas. The kid has it tough at first, but when Lego-dad's master, a baked potato able to shoot lightning, looks like he's about to kill him, L-d exclaims "NOOOOO" and throws the potato down the same hole the kid jumped down in Ep.V. The kid takes off the minifig's fearsome mask to reveal the horrible truth: he's been turned into a potato too! Seeing as how its sell-by date is ancient, it quickly expires. The kid flees the scene.

Everyone adjourns to Teddy Bear World to party. The remainer of the dialog goes as follows: Yub nub. Yub nub. Yub nub. THEEND.
posted by JHarris at 3:06 PM on October 7, 2010 [15 favorites]

Everyone adjourns to Teddy Bear World to party.

posted by dersins at 3:25 PM on October 7, 2010

And I misspelled "And then the ewoks fucking jam out."
posted by dersins at 3:25 PM on October 7, 2010

Oh, I have encountered so much hate for the Ewoks. They were my favorite part. In my defense, I was an eight year old the first time I saw that movie, so I was their target audience.
posted by heyforfour at 5:31 PM on October 7, 2010

It's a shame the special edition of the ewok party in Episode VI didn't include a scene of the bloody furred ewoks serving up a feast of stormtroopers to celebrate their victory with the rebels.
posted by Tenuki at 5:31 PM on October 7, 2010

I was in 6th grade when ROTJ came out. I was just a little bit older than the target demographic, having loved the first two films when I saw them at younger ages when they were first released. But in 6th grade, it was starting to not be cool to like that sort of thing, so there was a whole "I'm excited to see it but I can't tell anyone" thing going on. Based on that experience and subsequent observation, I have developed the following theory about hate of Ewoks:

Everybody liked the Ewoks when the film came out - regardless of age - or or likes them when they're young and and see it for the first time. But then, as soon as the Teddybear Luau starts at the end, everyone who sees the movie suddenly becomes vicariously embarassed and it taints the whole picture. The sinking, embarassed feeling in my gut at the end of ROTJ in the theater made an impression. I loved the movie right up until that stupid Luau. Then I was embarassed.
posted by The World Famous at 6:16 PM on October 7, 2010

I love this. The music is gorgeous!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:51 PM on October 7, 2010

That was good - I especially liked the scene transitions between movies. The only thing I wish was there was the Mos Eisley scene...that's such an iconic scene. Also, the summary of the Hoth battle being a mother-dog/puppy relationship between the walkers made me smile.
posted by JibberJabber at 6:55 PM on October 7, 2010

Reminds me of Star Dudes.
posted by straight at 7:13 PM on October 7, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hey this is awesome. Thanks. Check out the animator, Eric Power's, other work. Not to mention his documentary on LARPing.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 7:35 PM on October 7, 2010

JibberJabber: The only thing I wish was there was the Mos Eisley scene...

What, that place??
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:32 PM on October 7, 2010 [2 favorites]

dude that was really cool, i really dug the style of the paper
posted by iamthetrend at 7:05 PM on October 8, 2010

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