How to Degauss a Cat
October 8, 2010 9:39 PM   Subscribe

 
This sounds like one of those experiments where the experimenter would need to wear chainmail, goggles, and thick leather gloves.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:40 PM on October 8, 2010


I knew that was you writing before I even got past the title.
posted by richyoung at 9:49 PM on October 8, 2010


What do you attach the other end of the copper wire coil to?
posted by unSane at 9:51 PM on October 8, 2010


What do you attach the other end of the copper wire coil to?

FTA: "Second: Wrap either end of the wire around a long nail and drive the nail into the ground."
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:53 PM on October 8, 2010


I just walked in to look at my cat. As usual, she was on her back, fluffy as fuck, and generally being a disgrace to predators.

I stared at her, assessing the plan. She looked at me, and meowed. Hmm, that's right. It IS Food Time. Fantastic - she's always more compliant when she thinks food is about to be involved.

She continued to watch me staring at her, and started to become visibly unnerved. Suddenly, she grabs the carpet, twists erratically, and then curls into some ungodly position even more suited to a slaughtered prey animal. Facing a different direction. Drat.

Clearly, SCIENCE will have to wait.
posted by Stunt at 9:53 PM on October 8, 2010 [4 favorites]


So is the cat's tendency to lounge in the sunbeam spot an attempt at self-degaussing through the application of heat? Hmm.
posted by Iosephus at 9:59 PM on October 8, 2010


...through the application of heat...

No, it's the photoelectric effect your thinking of.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 10:02 PM on October 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


FTA: "Second: Wrap either end of the wire around a long nail and drive the nail into the ground."

Right, I got that, but what about the OTHER end. I don't see how simply grounding one end degausses the cat. To truly degauss the cat you would pass AC through the coil which would result in the magnetic dipoles bing forced to flip until they were randomly distributed. But that's not in the instructions, unless I'm missing something.
posted by unSane at 10:02 PM on October 8, 2010


What other end? There is only one end...
posted by Confess, Fletch at 10:05 PM on October 8, 2010


If there's only one end, why does it say 'either' end?
posted by unSane at 10:08 PM on October 8, 2010


I have no idea how these people got their cats wedged into their degaussers, or why.
posted by nathan_teske at 10:09 PM on October 8, 2010 [18 favorites]


why does it say 'either' end?

To avoid confusion about which end to use.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 10:12 PM on October 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


Now I know how to handle a pole cat
posted by Iron Rat at 10:13 PM on October 8, 2010 [7 favorites]


To avoid confusion about which end to use.

Oh, I get it.
posted by unSane at 10:19 PM on October 8, 2010


Conveniently we just began discussing magnetism in my Physics class at school. In the interest of accurate science I'll run this article past my prof on Monday and get his take on it.
posted by fore at 10:26 PM on October 8, 2010


It may seem like fun and games, but this research could lead to source of infinite electrical energy, if the experimenter runs a current through that wire.

Science: it's serious business.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:42 PM on October 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


...through the application of heat...

No, it's the photoelectric effect your thinking of.
Nope, definitely degaussing by heat. Google 'curie point'. At a guess, since they would seem to remain depolarised after the temperature is lowered, I guess it's possible that cats are also piezoelectric.

Further experiments to test this hypothesis by flexing and squeezing cats will have to wait until the bandages come off…

unsane: yes, that annoys me too. We're both over-thinking it ;-)
posted by Pinback at 11:05 PM on October 8, 2010


I recall reading somewhere that researchers inspected herds of cattle via Google Maps satellite photos and discovered that the majority of cows like to align themselves to the North/South axis. They hypothesized that cows can sense magnetic fields, but I think they just like facing their sides to the sun (rather than their front or back) so they can warm themselves. Or maybe they just don't like pointing their heads towards the sun because of eye glare.
posted by charlie don't surf at 5:18 AM on October 9, 2010 [3 favorites]


Nah. charlie, they're scientists, not people who have access to Google Maps and a lot of free time on their hands. They've already thought of that:
The group ruled out other reasons, such as wind or sun, for why grazing animals might orient themselves that way. There was no consistent wind pattern among the different locations, study author Hynek Burda, a zoologist at the University of Duisburg–Essen in Germany, says. And if the animals were basking in the sun, researchers would have seen them standing outside of one another's shadows.

More tellingly, in places such as the coastal U.S. where the direction of the magnetic north pole differs from geographic north (the latter defined by Earth's axis of rotation), the group found that cattle positioned themselves toward the magnetic poles.
posted by adipocere at 6:32 AM on October 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm disappointed. I had hoped the procedure would involve a sort of "bwongggggg" noise and a dramatic wibble-wobble effect, as used to happen on my old CRT monitor when I would call up the "Degauss" option on the menu.

(Was very disappointed when I got my first LCD monitor and learned that they apparently can't be degaussed. Degaussing the monitor was always a little treat I saved for those long slow dismal workday late afternoons.)
posted by ErikaB at 7:23 AM on October 9, 2010 [4 favorites]


If there's only one end, why does it say 'either' end?

So you don't accidentally the other end.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:03 AM on October 9, 2010


If you degauss your cat too often, it will forget that you can open cans, and it can't. Not a pretty thought, hmm?
posted by Goofyy at 8:11 AM on October 9, 2010


My cat tried to degauss me the other day - I was stretched out on the floor next to my desk, catching a quick nap, when the twenty pound son of a bitch jumped off the desk right onto my stomach. Trust me, I was reoriented in a hurry.
posted by Xoebe at 8:30 AM on October 9, 2010 [6 favorites]


Shouldn't this be in the Jon Ronson/ICP thread?
posted by lukemeister at 10:30 AM on October 9, 2010


After a suitable period of time, remove the wire from around the cat, or remove the cat from within the wire. Cats generally choose the suitable time period, and will pretty much take it from there.

You have to admit, the author knows cats.
posted by found missing at 12:26 PM on October 9, 2010


The first comment above reminds me of my favorite-ever What's New with Phil & Dixie comic.

"To simulate 'light wounds', tie three cats to yourself and step into a cold shower."

The mostly-pink image was wonderful.
posted by IAmBroom at 3:18 PM on October 9, 2010


The other end of the wire goes into the socket, of course.
posted by ryanrs at 3:24 PM on October 10, 2010


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