"Imagine, in just two weeks of your spare time...."
October 31, 2010 1:43 AM   Subscribe

"Sports Medicine" has evolved so much in the last thirty years that what is being uncovered is unbelievable. We finally know how such ancient techniques, such as Yoga, actually work to help the body. You now have the chance to easily learn what took me years to discover and develop. Priceless information that men have wanted and dreamed of getting their hands on for thousands of years... This information is NOW available to YOU! Think about that. Every man who has ever walked the Earth has wished he could Autofellate."

I wonder what my (serious) yoga teacher would say.
posted by harold_dumbacher (27 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: This doesn't make a good post for metafilter. -- vacapinta -- jessamyn



 
So, at the risk of asking a somewhat coarse question, harold..

Have you tried the methods contained in this book?
posted by Ahab at 1:49 AM on October 31, 2010


Or you could buy your wife some flowers.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:53 AM on October 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


Why? Do you need a personal demonstration?.........:)
posted by harold_dumbacher at 1:56 AM on October 31, 2010


Autofellatio? I am far too old and far too inflexible to imagine I could pull it off for myself. Err... as it were.
posted by Decani at 2:03 AM on October 31, 2010


I don't know if this is a joke or spam or what.
posted by 1000monkeys at 2:08 AM on October 31, 2010


Wow... I mean, just, wow. This post blows.

(Or sucks. Take your pick.)
posted by WalterMitty at 2:09 AM on October 31, 2010


Every man who has ever walked the Earth has wished he could Autofellate.

No. I'm double jointed in the fingers, and thats all the freaky I can handle.
posted by hal_c_on at 2:10 AM on October 31, 2010


Oh, wait. NOW I remember who the OP is. LOL.
posted by 1000monkeys at 2:13 AM on October 31, 2010


Ah, yes, the guy who comes into MeFi just to post a MetaTalk thread trolling Cortex. Take from that what you will.
posted by WalterMitty at 2:16 AM on October 31, 2010


I do like his claim "I'm not a sexual magician!". It made me wonder what a sexual magician could be. What kind of patter said magician would have.

"Pick a penis, any penis..."

"Let's be clear, you have never, ever met or seen this penis before?"

"Is THIS your penis????!!"

"Watch me escape this penis, blindfolded, handcuffed, and underwater!"

"If we go over to this gentleman in the audience over here, why, what's that in his pocket? YES! IT'S YOUR PENIS!!!"

That would be a heck of a show.
posted by smoke at 2:29 AM on October 31, 2010 [11 favorites]


I had no idea that an FPP that started with "Sports Medicine" in emphatic quotes would end up at autofellatio.

Actually, I had no idea where it was going.

I imagine your serious yoga teacher is too polite to talk with his mouth full.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:36 AM on October 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


smoke: doves and handkerchiefs come out of everywhere.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 2:40 AM on October 31, 2010


Everywhere?
posted by louche mustachio at 2:41 AM on October 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


What? We have to wake up to a penis thread on Sunday morning and then deal with it until a mod wakes up? meh
posted by The Lady is a designer at 2:48 AM on October 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm finding this post a bit hard to swallow.
posted by maxwelton at 2:51 AM on October 31, 2010 [3 favorites]


Max, that's a weak gag.
posted by smoke at 2:54 AM on October 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


That flow-chart is not the work of a clear mind.
posted by creasy boy at 3:03 AM on October 31, 2010


Forget the flowchart, look at the stockphoto and lets have a caption contest.

"Aargh, its gone"
posted by The Lady is a designer at 3:26 AM on October 31, 2010


What? We have to wake up to a penis thread on Sunday morning and then deal with it until a mod wakes up? meh

Try to be more flexible.
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:46 AM on October 31, 2010


Try to be more flexible.

But don't bend over backwards.
posted by three blind mice at 3:56 AM on October 31, 2010


"Wow... I mean, just, wow. This post blows.

(Or sucks. Take your pick prick.)
"

Oooh, you were so close!
posted by iamkimiam at 4:06 AM on October 31, 2010


Okay, this thread is doomed from the start to be buried under a flood of bad taste so I'll just make my own contribution here...

"Yogafellate"... as opposed to Yogifellate, which is what Boo Boo does. (and don't claim you've never thought about that).
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:12 AM on October 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oooh, you were so close!

Take your time, don't rush the yoga. Everything comes to he who waits.
posted by episodic at 4:12 AM on October 31, 2010


"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." --Bart Simpson
posted by chavenet at 4:13 AM on October 31, 2010


See also: Ouroboros.
posted by chavenet at 4:16 AM on October 31, 2010


My cousin Walther broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.
posted by TedW at 4:16 AM on October 31, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's not gay if it's yoga.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:19 AM on October 31, 2010 [1 favorite]


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