Make a wine aerator from plumbing fittings.
December 14, 2010 3:26 PM   Subscribe

 
Why shouldn't legal drugs have their equivalent of the homemade bong?
posted by Joe Beese at 3:28 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Nice. I've been engineering a wort areator for beer making, this could work. This is what I have been using, but it does not areate enough.
posted by Dr. Curare at 3:34 PM on December 14, 2010


HURF DURF PINOT DRINKERS
posted by infinitywaltz at 3:36 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm not that pumped about pouring a nice wine through PVC.
posted by chundo at 3:38 PM on December 14, 2010 [5 favorites]


Who am I kidding, I don't drink nice wines
posted by chundo at 3:43 PM on December 14, 2010 [6 favorites]


Nice hack, but I'm also wary of pouring liquid containing an organic solvent into a PVC pipe.

Plus, aerating wine or letting it breathe has nothing to do with its cheapness, as the inventor seems to think.
posted by yellowcandy at 3:49 PM on December 14, 2010


Not just PVC leachate, but also teflon tape shreds. Yum.
posted by anthill at 3:53 PM on December 14, 2010


I definitely read this as "A set of instructions for impatient cheapskate onanismphiles" and was very confused how you people were spending so much time and money.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 3:56 PM on December 14, 2010 [12 favorites]


I'm also wary of pouring liquid containing an organic solvent into a PVC pipe.

Yeah, I'll stick to PVC for desktop speaker enclosures, and table legs. The glass and stainless device this is replacing only costs $50?
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:58 PM on December 14, 2010


Real impatient cheapskates just blow bubbles in their wine.
posted by bitslayer at 4:06 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Or you could always use a quart mason jar as a decanter and shake the bejesus out of it.
posted by foodgeek at 4:06 PM on December 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


From homedistiller.org, a site for those interested in distilling their own alcohol at home:

"Plastic is basically fine at the low alcohol end (eg the wash, and even the diluted product), but if possible, try to avoid using it where it is likely to encounter strong alcohol. For alternatives, consider using copper tubing from the condensor to the collection jar, and using glass collection & storage jars."

Also:

"Please consider this:

[PVC] a thermoplast is a polymer that can easily be recycled, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyvinylchloride.

Years ago a soft version of PVC was produced by adding polychlorinated biphenyls (PCB) as a softener. I think that in most of the world the use of PCB's is banned now. But just imagine a company recycling "cheap" soft PVC in their PVC sewer pipes to make them less brittle! Be sure to use food grade PVC pipes and not the (clean new) cheap PVC sewer pipes. To give you an idea what PCB's can do: http://www.foxriverwatch.com/monsanto2a_pcb_pcbs.html"


Now granted, this information comes from a site written in Comic Sans. And beyond that, most of it is geared toward people working with high concentrations of alcohol at high temperatures. But I still don't know that I'd try this with just any ol' PVC pipe, even if it would only briefly be in contact with a fairly low-alcohol wine.
posted by limeonaire at 4:10 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


There are drinking-water grade PVC pipes. There are also pipe fittings and sealants made of other materials if you really actually want to try this.

Real impatient cheapskates just blow bubbles in their wine.

Even cheaper: hold the bottle higher and pour slowly.
posted by zennie at 4:13 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, my first thought was about what harms the PVC might introduce. But, then I forgot my first thought, probably as a result of spending one summer smoking pot from a homemade PVC bong.
posted by OmieWise at 4:20 PM on December 14, 2010


The awesomeness of using pvc plumbing fixtures to make Thunderbird taste better just blows my mind.
Wine is going to aerate as it sits in the glass while you sip it during dinner or with a book. Whipping it up to make it foamy just so you can drink it faster kind of destroys the point of wine.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 4:21 PM on December 14, 2010


I'm with foodgeek - I've used mason jars as decanters for years. Of course this doesn't result in an upscale presentation. For that, you need a funnel - wash out the bottle & pour the wine back in. It will be plenty aerated, and you won't look silly.

And for roughly the price of these plumbing parts, you can get a halfway decent stainless funnel with screen, which will come in handy should you ever run across, say, a bottle of crusted port.
posted by mr vino at 4:25 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one who recalls a study revealing that professional wine-chuggers could not tell the difference between a cabernet that had been allowed to breathe and one that hadn't?

(I'm sure we've heard of the one that claimed that oenophiles couldn't even distinguish between a red and a white in a blind testing!)
posted by kozad at 4:38 PM on December 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


Jeez, I'm the least wine-snobby person in the world but if you can't tell the difference between a freshly opened bottle and one that's been sitting out for an hour, I pity you! Next time you're at a restaurant and order a second bottle of something, make sure you ask for a fresh glass and compare it with the last couple of swigs of your previous bottle. You'll be astounded.

(I'm sure we've heard of the one that claimed that oenophiles couldn't even distinguish between a red and a white in a blind testing!)

cite please. My 80 year old mother who drinks nothing but sweet sherry and horlicks can tell the difference with her eyes closed (she spits out anything red).
posted by unSane at 4:46 PM on December 14, 2010 [2 favorites]


I don't have time to dig up that article, but my recollection is that they controlled for tannin and temperature, blindfolded the experts, and that--right--the experts couldn't tell white from red.
posted by found missing at 4:53 PM on December 14, 2010


Red vs. White (quick Googling):
posted by kozad at 4:54 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, but that's giving them all sorts of erroneous cues.
posted by unSane at 4:59 PM on December 14, 2010


1) Steal orange juice carafe from IHOP.

2) Wash and dry stolen carafe.

3) Fill with wine.

4) Distract dining companions with amusing anecdote while wine "opens".

5) Drink.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:02 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I was way more excited and confused about the future reading this as "A set of instructions for impatient cheapskate oneirophiles."
posted by cmoj at 5:11 PM on December 14, 2010


Looks like my bottle-mounted hopback.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:16 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


I've been engineering a wort areator for beer making, this could work

Aquarium stone, air pump, activated charcoal and surgical cotton filter. Boil the hell out of the stone, of course, and sterilize the tube, but works a treat.
posted by eriko at 5:29 PM on December 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


Jeez, I'm the least wine-snobby person in the world but if you can't tell the difference between a freshly opened bottle and one that's been sitting out for an hour, I pity you! Next time you're at a restaurant and order a second bottle of something, make sure you ask for a fresh glass and compare it with the last couple of swigs of your previous bottle. You'll be astounded.

unSane, that difference you're tasting are the dregs of the bottle, not aeration.
posted by IAmBroom at 5:49 PM on December 14, 2010


I'm talking about the last bit of your glass, not the bottle.
posted by unSane at 5:55 PM on December 14, 2010


Bottle-mounted hopback: PICTURES NOW!
posted by revgeorge at 6:04 PM on December 14, 2010


geez, as if nice glass *anything* couldn't be had at the goodwill for a nickel anyway...
posted by toodleydoodley at 6:35 PM on December 14, 2010


I live in an area which is fairly well-known for its wines. My parents have a wine storage business. I'm their book-keeper. I get to drink a lot of the wine given to them. I get to drink wine with a LOT of wine-makers. (Last Saturday night, f'rinstance... I'm still recovering from that Christmas party.)

I haven't heard about letting wine breathe in, oh, decades. Vintners here don't 'let them breathe', they uncork - or unscrew - them and say, "try this".

People still insist on letting wine breathe? Well, you learn something new every day (on Mefi).
posted by malibustacey9999 at 6:38 PM on December 14, 2010


Yeah, a vintner I knew used to tell everyone that letting wine breathe was a waste of time.
posted by lollusc at 6:44 PM on December 14, 2010


l33tpolicywonk - "'A set of instructions for impatient cheapskate onanismphiles' and was very confused how you people were spending so much time and money.

Tenga Fliphole
posted by porpoise at 6:50 PM on December 14, 2010


Yeah, a vintner I knew used to tell everyone that letting wine breathe was a waste of time.

Maybe it depends on the quality of the wine. In my experience it certainly gets ride of some of the most volatile parts of the nose, and calms the whole thing down a bit. Which is good when you're dealing with rancid plonk, which I usually am!
posted by unSane at 6:57 PM on December 14, 2010


Is it the aeration, or just the difference between being sober at the beginning of the bottle and not a the end. Decanting is still visually quite pleasing if the vessel is a proper shape. I love the subtleties of a nice wine and I love getting fucked up from time to time. What can I say, I'm a compatibilist.
posted by snofoam at 7:12 PM on December 14, 2010


These kinds of things always reminds me of Dave Barry's account of a sommelier competition, about which he wrote that his approach to drinking wine is to just drink it and look around for more, and not to go on and on about it.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:13 PM on December 14, 2010


geez, as if nice glass *anything* couldn't be had at the goodwill for a nickel anyway...

Decanting is still visually quite pleasing if the vessel is a proper shape.


Thousands, nay millions, of glass and crystal decanters sit weighing down the card tables of flea markets across our great nation, sitting there unbought and staring at you with grandmotherly reproach. There they sit, unmoving, piling up, hell wait long enough and the hawker will pay you just to rid of the things.

They do the job, in so much there is a job here to do, nicely.
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 PM on December 14, 2010


I've always thought aerators were made for people who didn't know what to give their wine-loving friends as a housewarming gift.

The Whelk: I have a pretty decanter and use it as a vase when it's off-duty (it has a wide bottom, which nicely counterbalances a big bouquet).
posted by pompelmo at 11:18 PM on December 14, 2010


Or, as the wine critic Jancis Robinson suggests, just decant the bottle into a jug by pouring from a height of around five inches above the jug's lip. Or lift the bottle five inches above each glass, pour, and wait for the bubbles to subside. And mop up the spillage.
posted by shetlandic at 12:02 AM on December 15, 2010


Yeah, a vintner I knew used to tell everyone that letting wine breathe was a waste of time.

I find that Boone's Farm has a more mellow taste when some of the ether is evaporated off.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:48 AM on December 15, 2010


Couldn't you just put a straw in the glass and blow bubbles? Or is that too declasse?
posted by doctor_negative at 7:36 AM on December 15, 2010


Yeah, a vintner I knew used to tell everyone that letting wine breathe was a waste of time.

>>Maybe it depends on the quality of the wine.


It doesn't. Even very expensive bottles start out tight and open up as they're exposed to air. It has to do with the mix of alcohol, acid, residual sugar, and tannins, not quality of the wine. Just read the tasting notes for some of the highest-rated wines (1er cru bordeaux, for example) and you'll see that even $800 bottles improve with aeration.
posted by yellowcandy at 10:44 AM on December 15, 2010


"Let me show you how to do it with $10 worth of plumbing parts"

Let me show you how to do it for less than $10 worth of buying the damn thing on amazon and not putting food through non-FDA-regulated non-food-grade piping fittings.
posted by tehloki at 4:38 PM on December 15, 2010


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