The Daily Patdown: Your Daily Dose of Security Theater

December 20, 2010 9:33 AM

The Daily Patdown - Your daily Dose of Security Theater. Some pictures of groping therein. [via mefi projects]
posted by Burhanistan (44 comments total)

I know this is a project, but wouldn't it be fitting under the most recent discussion of security theater?
posted by filthy light thief at 9:39 AM on December 20, 2010

In summary: police state, outrage fatigue, I blame Bush, etc.
posted by norm at 9:48 AM on December 20, 2010

Didn't we just do this yesterday?
posted by anigbrowl at 9:48 AM on December 20, 2010

Didn't we just do this yesterday?

I know, right? War news fatigue, police state news fatigue, "cablegate" fatigue... thank God the celebrity news is still pulling demo.
posted by notion at 9:51 AM on December 20, 2010 [1 favorite]

no excuse
posted by clavdivs at 9:53 AM on December 20, 2010 [1 favorite]

Didn't we just do this yesterday?

And today. And tomorrow.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:53 AM on December 20, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'll wait to buy the book at Urban Outfitters
posted by 2bucksplus at 9:54 AM on December 20, 2010 [5 favorites]

TSAtastic
posted by ob at 9:56 AM on December 20, 2010

Is cropdusting a TSA officer in protest considered battery? 'Cause if not, then the guy in the first picture was in a great position to offer up some olfactory protest.

Note: like every idea, I thought that this was totally original, until ...
posted by scblackman at 9:57 AM on December 20, 2010

Why does this fill me with rage? Rage. Big, crazy, red-faced fury?

God. It's like Glen Beck/Limbaugh got to decide how the grown-ups are going to behave.
posted by From Bklyn at 9:59 AM on December 20, 2010 [2 favorites]

Not even very good as theater.
posted by DU at 10:06 AM on December 20, 2010 [1 favorite]

You guys are so totally going to be eating your hats when the old-lady-in-a-wheelchair bomber strikes!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:11 AM on December 20, 2010 [4 favorites]

On a positive note, Tumblr seems to be having issues again when I go to page 2. Rock solid service, there.
posted by Silvertree at 10:13 AM on December 20, 2010

I've noticed a rise in rightwing trolls recently. Or one, at least.
posted by DU at 10:21 AM on December 20, 2010

This would work better as "securitypatdownhotornot.com". I mean, so we could vote on the hotness of the security personnel and the patdown subjects.
posted by chavenet at 10:21 AM on December 20, 2010 [3 favorites]

FIAMO, kids.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:22 AM on December 20, 2010

This would work better as "securitypatdownhotornot.com". I mean, so we could vote on the hotness of the security personnel and the patdown subjects.

We could vote on which participant in the pat down "needed" the action more.
posted by 2bucksplus at 10:29 AM on December 20, 2010 [2 favorites]

Are we calling it theatre because the simple fact that we are doing this so pubicly will keep terrorists away, that it is really the performance that is the security? Or do we think it is a sham, a play act, that is not designed to keep terrorists away.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:33 AM on December 20, 2010

We could vote on which participant in the pat down "needed" the action more.

Add a live webcam and internet voting and we could make a killin... er, a lot of money.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:35 AM on December 20, 2010

This one takes the cake.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 10:38 AM on December 20, 2010

This would work better as "securitypatdownhotornot.com"

I'd pat that!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:43 AM on December 20, 2010 [2 favorites]

Thank goodness someone is there to call attention to the TSA's incursions into our liberties (and underpants) by PHOTOGRAPHING IT, POSTING IT ON THE INTERNET AND NOT BLURRING ANYONE'S FACE OUT.

Thanks for that. I'm sure everyone is delighted that they can be groped by the TSA and then have a cherished Tumblr memory the whole world can enjoy.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:48 AM on December 20, 2010 [4 favorites]

It's so sad. There's this... Meme pic... what do you call those, "Can haz cheeseburger" or whatever the fuck, it shows a guy who, by the looks of his surroundings, is not in suburban America, but somewhere east of the Balkans, west of China. He's got his hand out, as though holding a small bird, and a bemused expression. The text reads, "And then the security personnel cup their balls, like this."

We totally fucking lost.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:54 AM on December 20, 2010 [3 favorites]

Mod note: Enough with the arguing about the arguing about the post stuff, folks.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:56 AM on December 20, 2010

I'd pat that!

Pat Or Not?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:02 AM on December 20, 2010

I blame Bush

At this point I think it's fair to blame Obama for having done nothing to arrest our slide towards a security state of the absurd.
posted by killdevil at 11:33 AM on December 20, 2010 [1 favorite]

What's with the dude that has his pants down? In the main area? Not in a private room (or at least it looks that way)?

And that poor woman in the wheelchair. Good grief.
posted by sundrop at 11:37 AM on December 20, 2010

A little kid, an elderly nun, a woman in a wheelchair...

After Obama got elected, I decided I'd be open to travelling to the US again. My wife and I took our honeymoon in Hawaii earlier this year prior to the ponoscanners and patdowns. I won't be returning to the US again if I can help it.

Thank goodness someone is there to call attention to the TSA's incursions into our liberties (and underpants) by PHOTOGRAPHING IT, POSTING IT ON THE INTERNET AND NOT BLURRING ANYONE'S FACE OUT.

I actually think not blurring the faces adds to the value. It's a greater reminder that this is going to be you, your child, your grandma, or someone else you know or love next time you get on a plane. Groped in public in plain view for everyone to see because terror.
posted by Hoopo at 11:56 AM on December 20, 2010 [2 favorites]

No, I blame Bush for the outrage fatigue. And I really do think the US is passing some kind of threshold towards a police state.
posted by norm at 12:10 PM on December 20, 2010

"This would work better as "securitypatdownhotornot.com". I mean, so we could vote on the hotness of the security personnel and the patdown subjects."

Beckinsale in a runaway.
posted by aerotive at 12:43 PM on December 20, 2010

We passed that threshold about 9 years ago.
posted by Mental Wimp at 12:52 PM on December 20, 2010

This is so FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS - how come those blue-polyester-clothed bureaucrats get to have that insane power to fondle anybody they want? THIS IS CRAZY
posted by growabrain at 1:44 PM on December 20, 2010

From Bklyn wrote: It's so sad. There's this... Meme pic... what do you call those, "Can haz cheeseburger" or whatever the fuck, it shows a guy who, by the looks of his surroundings, is not in suburban America, but somewhere east of the Balkans, west of China. He's got his hand out, as though holding a small bird, and a bemused expression.

Here it is. It's even funnier if you know that it's a picture of Osama bin Laden.
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:47 PM on December 20, 2010 [2 favorites]

Seriously, what the holy fuck is going on here? The one security guy at the end does typical security guy bullshit in telling him to turn off his camera, but it was creepily and giggly fratboy voyeurism already. But the whole tableau makes no sense. Is she stripped like that on purpose? Did they make her strip down? Did she show up like that? And what is that weird vacant look on her face? Is she nervous? Scared? Zonked out on oxycontin? Why is security not getting her through, or covering her up?

This is blowing my mind.
posted by hincandenza at 1:53 PM on December 20, 2010

Oh, following some of the related videos/comments it sounds like she showed up like that on purpose. I still can't explain that vacant look, though...
posted by hincandenza at 1:55 PM on December 20, 2010

I know, right? War news fatigue, police state news fatigue, "cablegate" fatigue... thank God the celebrity news is still pulling demo

Right, because I post about celebrities and popular culture all the time. And because nobody ever set up a blog to farm traffic and cash in on public anger over a particular topic, although the OP likely didn't intend to support that. There isn't any information here, it's just I-told-You-So-Filter.
posted by anigbrowl at 3:14 PM on December 20, 2010

Gotta love the TSA blingfested uniforms.
posted by buzzman at 3:18 PM on December 20, 2010

I'd pat that!

Pat Or Not?

Seriously, crowdsource the security theater. Each person coming through gets their picture posted to PatorNot.com and the TSA folks only pat those who are upvoted because Teh Internetz think they look like terrorists, or whatever criterion is being used by the herd at that minute.

O-on second thought...
posted by chavenet at 3:24 PM on December 20, 2010

Thanks for submitting my project to the main blog, Burhanistan!

I actually think not blurring the faces adds to the value. It's a greater reminder that this is going to be you, your child, your grandma, or someone else you know or love next time you get on a plane. Groped in public in plain view for everyone to see because terror.

Hoopo is right. These people are you and me.

When I started seeing children -- fucking children -- being groped by TSA agents, it seemed like it was time to do something.

And because nobody ever set up a blog to farm traffic and cash in on public anger over a particular topic, although the OP likely didn't intend to support that. There isn't any information here, it's just I-told-You-So-Filter.

Cynical much, anigbrowl?

The Daily Patdown was created so people can really SEE the reality of patdowns.

If we can really see patdowns for what they are, we can have a more informed discussion about whether or not this is acceptable behavior from our government. (Hint: it isn't.)

Since media coverage of this issue has been reliably terrible -- (i.e. CUT TO: Airport. RANDOM TRAVELER: "If patdowns keep the skies safe, I'm all for 'em!") -- my hope is to bring this issue to the attention of ordinary Americans through humor.

If you are reading this and share my outrage, please spread the word!
posted by mokolabs at 3:59 PM on December 20, 2010 [3 favorites]

hincandenza: "Seriously, what the holy fuck is going on here? "

That is Tammy Banovac (aka Tammy Brewer), who was once an dentist until she killed a 7 year old boy working in unlicensed and unregulated portable offices. Then she went into soft porn. Now she's apparently a stepford wife with a botox habit.
posted by dejah420 at 7:13 PM on December 20, 2010

Well, that was pretty unnerving. I found this one pretty amusing. Still, I'd rather be patted down than have an untrained agent aim a high-powered X-ray source at me. Also, when I passed by the millimeter-wave devices at SFO I noted that the agent stood at the exit to the machine while the traveler was being scanned. If that is SOP at the backscatter X-ray machines, I would fear for the health of the TSA agents as well as the travelers. That would be a huge amount of incident X-rays over a workweek.
posted by Existential Dread at 9:08 PM on December 20, 2010 [1 favorite]

Any word of people wearing dosimeters into those booths, or working around them? Surely there must be some TSA folks that are just as concerned about things as other folks.
posted by Goofyy at 8:33 AM on December 21, 2010

The shoe fitting fluoroscope was a common fixture in shoe stores during the 1930s, 1940s and 1950s.

Despite these relatively high exposures, there were no reported injuries to shoe store customers. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the operators of these machines. Many shoe salespersons put their hands into the x-ray beam to squeeze the shoe during the fitting. As a result, one saleswoman who had operated a shoe fitting fluoroscope 10 to 20 times each day over a ten year period developed dermatitis of the hands. One of the more serious injuries linked to the operation of these machines involved a shoe model who received such a serious radiation burn that her leg had to be amputated (Bavley 1950).
posted by infinite intimation at 3:24 PM on December 21, 2010

There's an incident report at my alma mater about a couple grad students and an x-ray diffractometer...The diffractometer was basically comprised of a shielded, paneled chamber with the copper x-ray source mounted on a goniometer and aimed at the sample. The safety interlocks were designed such that if the shield panels were opened while the x-ray source was energized, a safety shutter would shut across the aperture and protect the genius who opened the panels with the beam on. That safety shutter was a convenience, too, because you could close the aperture, open the panels, and change the sample without having to turn off and on the x-ray source and wait for the warm-up period.

Well, the diffractometer was a relatively elderly instrument, and the safety shutter rusted open one day. The grad students noticed this, and decided to go in with brillo pads to scrub off the rust. So, they hit the button to close the safety shutter and disable the safety interlocks, and open the shield panels and start scrubbing the rust off the shutter. After a couple of minutes, one turns to the other and says, "Wait a minute....is the beam still on?"

The shutter being located right next the aperture, they were getting the fullest intensity of the beam right on their hands. Luckily, the brillo pads offered some shielding, so their fingers didn't have to be amputated, but they did have to get skin grafts.
posted by Existential Dread at 7:53 PM on December 21, 2010