Worst. MTV. Video. Music. Awards. EVER.
September 6, 2001 9:29 PM Subscribe
posted by waxpancake at 9:41 PM on September 6, 2001
It was the VMAs. Anyone expecting something "good" should look somewhere else. Say, the MuchMusic Video Awards show on the 23rd of this month.
posted by popshots75 at 9:48 PM on September 6, 2001
It never gets any better. I remember an unruly group of us sitting in the Pit Pub at UBC 15(?) years ago, pelting the bigscreen with popcorn, straws, imprecations, and eventually empty rye-and-coke glasses, in stunned disbelief at the vast tapestry of crap that was being awarded on the MuchMusic video awards (the at-that-time newish Canadian MTV clone).
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:49 PM on September 6, 2001
But this year, nothing stood out aside from a 40-something has-been in a t-shirt which only reminded me of how scrawny he is. Why DOES Michael dress like that, anyway?
And speaking of guilty pleasures, I can admit that many/most of N Sync's songs are catchy, but Pop may be one of the worst songs I've ever heard (although my beloved Britney's new tune is giving it a run for its money). Anyone else wondering if some MTV suits just charged up the paddles, put them on the corpse of teen pop and yelled "clear!"
posted by Sinner at 9:51 PM on September 6, 2001
One of the best moments: Ben Stiller and Puffy. I also enjoyed the MTV promotional spots for "Videos work here".
posted by LeiaS at 9:51 PM on September 6, 2001
That was the first MTV VMA I've ever watched (and by watched I mean I had it on in the background and occassionally glanced over), and I have to admit that it was terrible. The only thing that I found amusing/entertaining was the opera opening.
And since "Weapon of Choice" didn't win best video, it was obviously flawed.
posted by Grum at 9:52 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by waxpancake at 9:52 PM on September 6, 2001
See last year's thread.
No pancakes, you metrocake!
I was surprised, actually, by how little things had changed from last year. Again with the N*Sync overdose. Ditto on Britney. And Janet Jackson. And Kid Rock. And on and on. It's like popular music is stuck in a single moment in time and is physically incapable of evolving forward.
Oh, and the "comedy genius" host's humor completely sucked as well. Again.
posted by aaron at 9:53 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by Bearman at 9:54 PM on September 6, 2001
If you ever get a chance to see a tape of a early- to mid-80s VMA show, watch it. You'll be surprised at how much better it was. Even if you don't care for the music they celebrated, the energy, the flow, the design, everything about it was just much cooler and more fun.
posted by aaron at 9:56 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by riffola at 9:56 PM on September 6, 2001
I thought Ben Stiller throwing down on Puffy was perfect and necessary. Puffy's a clown and a poser, and watching him catch his comeuppance was lovely.
Poor Michael. He just couldn't be as energetic as the new kids. Or whoever they are. N Sync. Right. Whoever. 20 seconds of spins and moonwalking-on-the-spot and the poor old fart was dizzy and out of breath.
Oh, so many more highlights and lowlights. (No Madonna? No Eminem? What happened?)
It was, yes, the social event of the season. The set designs themselves were worth the ordeal. U2 going on and on about how their videos really stank, their Ramones tribute, Christopher Walken getting the biggest cheer of the night, Alicia Keys striking a way-too-rare blow for actual musicians, the stellar wild-kingdom intros to each of the awards... I shall treasure these memories close to my heart always.
I'm cleaning up the mess from the party now.
posted by chicobangs at 9:57 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by Sinner at 9:59 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by jbou at 10:06 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by eyeballkid at 10:08 PM on September 6, 2001
Matt Drudge's review.
posted by metrocake at 10:14 PM on September 6, 2001
Just to clarify, by this I meant that bad was good then. So tonight's show was not good bad, it was awful bad.
I enjoyed Alicia Keys' performance. She got a standing ovation, probably since it was the first exhibition of class all night.
posted by LeiaS at 10:15 PM on September 6, 2001
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX THU SEPT 06, 2001 23:09:48 ET XXXXX
MTV'S JUDY MCGRATH: WANTED FOR THE MURDER OF MUSIC
One day we will wake up from this nightmare.
Long after we rip out the infected pierced stud in our tongues and wash off all our tats and forget we ever witnessed three-and-a-half-hours of something called The Eighteenth Annual MTV Video Music Awards... we'll possibly be able to look at ourselves in the mirror again.
President of the MTV Group Judy McGrath, 48, is wanted for the murder of music.
"J LO, PLEASE LET ME SNIFF YOUR BUTT."
"I'M ABOUT TO BE BORN AGAIN ON YOUR BASTARD ASSES."
Thursday night in New York City, McGrath, who has been there from the beginning, unleashed her latest remix of pop culture at the Metropolitan Opera; still determined to call her product Music Television, although any music is a side order in the Taco Bell-sponsored shopper's guide.
"THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT WE WOULD MAKE GOOD WHORES."
"THIS PERFORMANCE HAS BEEN DEDICATED TO THE LOVING MEMORY OF AALIYAH."
McGrath, a star in the VIACOMCBS family, knew she had hit the Zeitgeist with promos for the "Music Awards" which featured host Jamie Foxx simulating intercourse with a live sheep.
You could almost hear McGrath applaud, cheer and order heavy rotation as Foxx gyrated his pelvis into the sheep. Her latest exploitation of Black Americans, and sheep.
The usual corporate shills -- U2, Jennifer Lopez, Moby, Mick Jagger -- once again showed up to celebrate the McGrath vision:
Someone played a guitar.
Someone screamed into a microphone.
Someone picked up a pair of drumsticks and waved them in the air.
Someone wore a black leather jacket and thanked Joey Ramone who gave us Jessica Simpson who shot daggers at lip-syncing Britney who is still a virgin at least with humans but nevertheless qualified as McGrath's top carny.
"OUR NEXT PRESENTER IS THE STAR OF MTV'S JACKASS, AND SOMEONE WHO WILL JACK YOUR ASS."
Classic Judy McGrath.
The woman who murdered music.
posted by aaron at 10:24 PM on September 6, 2001
Hey, does that mean I'm DoublePostCake?
posted by metrocake at 10:29 PM on September 6, 2001
Drudge has a point, but then again, righteous indignation is his stock in trade. If he ain't pissed about something, no one cares.
I thought Moby was quite humble, actually, corporate whore or not.
word up, eyeball: Jamie Foxx was unintelligible, unable to improvise when these glitches came up, uninterested in the proceedings and just plain unfunny. I say bring back Chris Rock at any cost next year. Or Jon Stewart or, I don't know, Janeane Garofalo? Someone with a brain who can handle a crowd. Please.
posted by chicobangs at 10:32 PM on September 6, 2001
and you know what... puffy isn't so bad. i've been listening to rap a while now (more underground though), and puffy is about the only mainstream/commercial rapper out there who i like right now... not to mention, the "hardest." which is really a scary thought, when you think about it.
posted by lotsofno at 10:37 PM on September 6, 2001
But anyway. Weren't the set designs (especially N Sync's) amazing?
posted by chicobangs at 10:45 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by euphorb at 10:53 PM on September 6, 2001
bah, look at the competition though. Nelly? Jay-Z (whose a pretty good lyricist, but still despicable.)?
yeah, and after i saw Macy Gray, i was tempted to go back in time, show up at the awards, and walk beside her as she came out to present the award, wearing a shirt that said, "WTF?" while pointing at her and having a confused look on my face.
the set designs actually were pretty dope. i liked the TVs and the revolving thingy that the beginning guy dissapeared in. the etch-a-sketch looking sequence at the end was pretty cheesy though.
posted by lotsofno at 10:53 PM on September 6, 2001
Of course I had already forgotten that it was on tonight anyway. I might have watched part of it if I had remembered. Instead I spent a good portion of my evening watching monarch butterfly larvae munching on asclepias tuberosa plants and watching lightning in the distance. It was probably more exciting.
So, were the controversial kitties on with Britney or not? I couldn't tell if that was a real tiger behind her in that picture...
posted by bargle at 10:56 PM on September 6, 2001
On the other hand: Snakes, son, snakes...
posted by owillis at 11:00 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by riffola at 11:16 PM on September 6, 2001
The kitties made a cameo appearance, but they were clearly pulled way back and shunted offstage at the first opportunity. Bummer. A rampage would have been funny, at least watching from home.
What else... oh right. Nelly is a no-talent, and Jay Z... well, Jay Z's a tool. Give me, oh, Outkast and Busta when they're not too stoned (both of whom presented and totally whored their sell dates but still) any day over the dicknoses who actually got to perform. And I'm glad the Gorillaz got mention at all.
(PS - I've never used the word dope in a sentence like that before.)
posted by chicobangs at 11:19 PM on September 6, 2001
But sales are slumping
And no one will say why
Could it be they put out
One too many lousy records?!?
posted by moth at 11:22 PM on September 6, 2001
posted by Nothing at 11:40 PM on September 6, 2001
P diddy is 31, bono is 41, macy gray is 31, j lopez is 30, michael jackson is 43, hell, even one of the back street boys is 30. I don’t think you have to be 16 to comment on the show.
However, even if you’re 16 I’d hope you can recognize crap when you see it, such as britney’s non-performance. Could it have been any worse? An awful song and even worse lip-synching. They put her at the end of the show so we could watch her carry a snake across the stage. Brilliant.
I hear the insults coming from the kids too.
Exactly, and I hear most of the pro comments coming from guys who would be better off getting a subscription to playboy (or *gasp* a girlfriend).
posted by justgary at 11:57 PM on September 6, 2001
i've heard the ramones were honored, which would be the only thing giving me a reason to watch it at all. i doubt i would have had enough interest in the show to sit through it up until that point, or anytime after it, though.
posted by andy g. at 12:14 AM on September 7, 2001
Brittney Spears does this for me.
She bimboes her talentless karroke self into whore mode, and I'm left with this cavity, where once there was proud manhood. Whoosh.
Why can't an anvil just fall on her? Where are all the goddamned anvils? The Road Runner cartoons of my youth have lied to me!
Nikka Costa, on the other hand, I'd give my kidney to.
Well, not mine, but... someone's.
posted by dong_resin at 12:38 AM on September 7, 2001
"Omigod, that's the ninth Q-Tip I've lost in here!"
posted by dong_resin at 2:06 AM on September 7, 2001
At least we just get the Horror That Is Donna Air over here.
posted by holgate at 3:52 AM on September 7, 2001
At least I don't have to see Sara Cox anymore. Idiot woman wittering on for ten or fifteen minutes at a time with a five to ten word vocabulary: Beer; Football; Yeah; Shaggin'; Yeah; Alright; Drinkin' and Yeah.
I actually prayed for a Westlife video to come on. That bad.
(For the record, I was attempting to get some exercise at a gym, so I couldn't switch channels. )
posted by Grangousier at 4:21 AM on September 7, 2001
And to anyone who ranted about the "commercialism" of the awards show & certain performers: please realize that MTV itself is nothing more than a television channel dedicated to and consisting of nothing more than non-stop commercials. Way back when, in 1981, MTV was created largely to have 3-minute "commercials" by musical artists to entice consumers to purchase the albums. The videos weren't even necessarily intended to be "artistic" - they were done for the sole purpose of selling more albums. You know me - I love big business, capitalism, etc - so this aspect of it is fine by me, but anyone decrying the "commercialism" in the world of music videos should probably cast their stones elsewhere.
posted by davidmsc at 4:37 AM on September 7, 2001
I didn't sit through the whole thing, but I thought that the little nature movies introducing each category was about the only thing remotely clever.
posted by crunchland at 5:45 AM on September 7, 2001
What was up with that ramone's thing? they're mentioned, told how great they are, brought out on stage for two seconds; and, then... okay, thanks for coming, on to the next thing. weird.
posted by bliss322 at 5:46 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by Mid at 6:02 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by spslsausse at 6:11 AM on September 7, 2001
Come now, a bit extreme perhaps? Yes, most music videos suck because all they do is parade the artist and some neat tricks around while the song is played over top, mainly designed to induce a little slack-jaw in teenagers so can sit still and listen to the crap being played.
On the other hand, some music videos are f**ing works of art that really complement/complete a song (or vice versa). For example, Chris Cunningham's video for Bjork's "All is Full of Love" is awesome. And I don't much like Bjork. But there are tons of videos for songs that are like that -- they just never get played and we get to see them, because MTV realizes that most kids are too stupid to understand what makes these kinds of videos better than the crap videos that I believe they're all but forced into showing by all the big record companies.
But just my opinion
posted by dopamine at 6:13 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by quirked at 6:27 AM on September 7, 2001
Actually, that review is pretty close to the early Matt Drudge, when he was posting his stories to alt.showbiz.gossip and his sanity was an open question. One time he wrote that fans at a Dean Cain autograph signing were so excited they were "literally lactating." I wish I had been there to see that.
posted by rcade at 6:50 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by headspace at 6:56 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by kerplunk at 7:07 AM on September 7, 2001
What I don't understand is that the MTV movie awards are great. They always make those funny movie spoofs. Remember Ben Stiller in "Mission Impossible"? The cast from the Brady Bunch in "A Few Good Men"? These pieces are so brilliant that you remember them. I've already forgotten about the VMA's
posted by chainring at 7:22 AM on September 7, 2001
I don't think the age of the artist has anything to do with the intended audience, and I didn't say you had to be 16 to comment just realize if you're over the age - you probably aren't the target demo...
posted by owillis at 8:15 AM on September 7, 2001
All day, all night, all music video
Seen your video, the phony rock 'n' roll
We don't want to know, seen your video
Your phony rock 'n' roll
We don't want to know
We don't want to know
We don't want to know
We don't want to know
posted by metrocake at 8:37 AM on September 7, 2001
I live in the neighborhood around Lincoln Center and yesterday it was essentially completely overrun by MTV. (I had wanted to photoessay it, but didn't really have the entusiasm to...)
4 or 5 big trailers (portable offices) parked on Amsterdam Ave. for a couple of weeks... Damrosch Park was completely overrun by tents and trucks for about a week. And then, there was the day of the event.
There were barricades on every sidewalk within a 6 block radius (or so.) When I returned home from work and got out of the subway, I was greeted with a mob scene (of course, this was at 7:30, when all the enterance festivities were occuring) of lots and lots of yelling (at that annoying shrill note usually only heard at the Times Square TRL broadcast) all around. Wading through all that to get home was, interesting. Police stationed on every corner. Many of the streets right around Lincoln Center were blocked off. (walking around later trying to get closer, I couldn't get within a block of the center). And the limos. There were limos EVERYWHERE-- from the basic Town Cars to a couple of (ohgodwhy?) stretched Ford Excursions. Parked outside my building was Mr. Busta Rhymes's.
Definately an entertaining circus, though I didn't really catch much of the awards. But if Weapon of Choice didn't win for best video, what's the point?
posted by andrewraff at 8:44 AM on September 7, 2001
With many acts yes. But for michael jackson to sell as many records as I'm sure he wants to he'll need to reach more than the teen market, and I doubt U2 gives any thought to reaching teenyboppers.
posted by justgary at 8:53 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by justgary at 8:55 AM on September 7, 2001
I suppose I could say something clever about this proving that it's the same old crap every year, but..
posted by SiW at 9:16 AM on September 7, 2001
Considering the purchasing power of teenyboppers, I doubt that. U2's not above whoring -- remember their song for Batman Forever?
posted by rcade at 9:19 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by msacheson at 9:30 AM on September 7, 2001
Like many said before me, why did they have those mis-cued segments? with all their money, they should have been on top of things.
Jamie Foxx? So damn unfunny. The commercials advertising the show with him were funnier than his live performance. Its like the audience was made of stone.......
Everyone pushing their upcoming albums? blah. they should have stated 'fire up your favorite filesharing utility and get them right now- fuck waiting till the release date.'
The P.Diddy/Ben Stiller confrontation was the funniest part of the whole show.
I was hopping that the snake would have choked Brittney right there on stage.
posted by ewwgene at 10:05 AM on September 7, 2001
posted by ewwgene at 10:10 AM on September 7, 2001
didn't watch the VMAs. MTV no longer holds anything of interest for me -- i.e., actual music videos. I miss the days of the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video.
posted by Vacaloca at 10:10 AM on September 7, 2001
heh. you believe that? freak.
posted by jcterminal at 11:41 AM on September 8, 2001
Mind you, the 300 pounds of gut help a wee bit.
posted by dong_resin at 11:47 AM on September 8, 2001
I'd be a lot more interested in them if MTV, oh, I don't know...actually SHOWED THE VIDEOS NOMINATED so I'd have a clue why they were nominated?
I never missed them in the early years. And that ultrasound special on them from last year only showed how much better they were back then.
posted by SisterHavana at 1:07 PM on September 8, 2001
True. However, they can't compete in the teen market against the britneys and nsyncs, so if their aim was for that market only they'd be dead in the water.
(you're picking one song out of many albums. Not that convincing, more of an exception than a rule)
posted by justgary at 2:20 PM on September 8, 2001
posted by delmoi at 5:15 PM on September 8, 2001
So would now be a bad time to mention that I really, really like that song? Oops.
posted by brookedel at 5:56 PM on September 8, 2001
posted by Ben Grimm at 11:01 PM on September 8, 2001
posted by bargle at 11:40 PM on September 8, 2001
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posted by aaron at 9:40 PM on September 6, 2001