Two Whole Minutes!?
January 23, 2011 4:07 PM   Subscribe

 
This is silly. I can do nothing for hours at a time.
posted by fixedgear at 4:10 PM on January 23, 2011 [5 favorites]


the beach was nice. i think ill go back for my nap.
posted by Glibpaxman at 4:13 PM on January 23, 2011


I liked that alot! I also just put my head on my desk and closed my eyes.
posted by typewriter at 4:14 PM on January 23, 2011


Failed. While I can easily do "nothing" all day long, I got bored four seconds in and absent-mindedly opened a new tab to play tetris. Oops.
posted by phunniemee at 4:14 PM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]


This is silly. I can do nothing for hours at a time.

You know what? I can't. I can do things with no point, but I have a really, really hard time doing nothing at all. Hell, the last time I remember doing nothing was over a year ago, on a couch in Copenhagen. I was so many thousands of miles from having to avoid doing something (homework, housework, bills, god-knows-what-else) that I actually let myself just lay there and do nothing.

It felt amazing and it hasn't happened since.
posted by griphus at 4:16 PM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


Failed. I immediately bookmarked it.
posted by thinkpiece at 4:19 PM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


The irony, of course, is that if I wasn't already doing nothing, I wouldn't be looking at this website in the first place.
posted by bicyclefish at 4:19 PM on January 23, 2011 [11 favorites]


Failed... I don't have speakers or headphones at the moment.
posted by biochemist at 4:24 PM on January 23, 2011


Possibly it's silly. However, I immediately felt that I probably ought to quit my job and move to somewhere with an ocean for a good six months or so and spend a lot of time sitting quietly. So there's that.
posted by brennen at 4:25 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


I thought about posting this one. I found the clock stressful and the water made me need to pee.
posted by cjorgensen at 4:25 PM on January 23, 2011 [7 favorites]


Never listen to anyone who sits like this, for any reason, ever.
posted by fire&wings at 4:30 PM on January 23, 2011 [9 favorites]


Hey, is there any way to get a list of every single site that bought space on the Million Dollar Homepage, and have it added to a blacklist so if my browser ever tries to visit one of them, or display an add for them, it will refuse?

In fact, maybe this should be a public service.

* Googles how to make a Firefox plugin *
posted by Jimbob at 4:33 PM on January 23, 2011


I couldn't really relax because I kept expecting a screaming ghost.
posted by bobo123 at 4:34 PM on January 23, 2011 [45 favorites]


I got a bit more than a minute in, and then caught myself reaching for a handful of wasabi peas. hilarious.
posted by kaibutsu at 4:44 PM on January 23, 2011


And then I started thinking about whether thinking about nothing counted as doing something, which is invariably where my mind goes when I sit down to meditate; it takes about twenty minutes to get past the shit like that, usually...
posted by kaibutsu at 4:45 PM on January 23, 2011


With about 20 seconds left I suddenly noticed that the setting sun in the background looked more like a mushroom cloud from a nuclear explosion. A different kind of relaxed feeling settled over me then.
posted by bfootdav at 4:51 PM on January 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


tl;dr
posted by Beardman at 4:51 PM on January 23, 2011 [6 favorites]


I knew I could do it, but I kept thinking about why I should. Was I responding to a dare? Was I proving I was so evolved? It was quite a stressful 2 minutes.
posted by Obscure Reference at 4:53 PM on January 23, 2011


what I can sit still for 2 minutes. Easy as pie just close your eyes and breathe, breathe, breather should it be deeper? Shallow isn't good. I don't want to get too sleepy. just deep breathes, maybe count and then hold them okay count three two one then then hold it for three two one, three two one three two, wait maybe it should be like Fibonacci numbers that'd be cool, one two, four, ah I can't count this hey how's my heartbeat, I can't really tell but I can kiinda guess lets count! Beat Beat Beat I wonder what the rate for absorbing oxygen by hemoglobin is, it should be pretty fast, hemoglobin is a funny word like goblin where the hell have I heard that recently oh yeah Anathem with the different oxygen, that was fun man nerd SF always gots to explain everything to you just in case you have an issue oh wait I'm not breathing right back on track do it one two three one two no wait was I doing Fibbonacci oh well does it matter I should be done by now I'll just peek a little bit....

TIME REMAINING 1:50
posted by The Whelk at 4:59 PM on January 23, 2011 [28 favorites]


I sat there for 2 minutes.
posted by 23skidoo at 5:07 PM on January 23, 2011


At first, I was having an experience similar to The Whelk's, but the last 50 seconds or so were really glorious. I forgot about work, the dishes, my bills...

I can honestly say, "Thanks, I needed that."
posted by elmer benson at 5:11 PM on January 23, 2011


From Million Dollar Homepage Terms and Conditions:

"Images must NOT be animated (imagine how messy the homepage would look)."

Yes. Imagine.
posted by yeti at 5:13 PM on January 23, 2011 [5 favorites]


Hey you guys, it only fails you if you touch the mouse or keyboard so I was folding laundry and I still won. Ha! Stick it to The Man!
posted by bondcliff at 5:17 PM on January 23, 2011 [7 favorites]


i only did this because i could pause TNT's showing of "the dark knight" with my remote's DVR pause button.

anyone else read gary shteyngart's super sad true love story?

yeeeeah.
posted by flyingsquirrel at 5:21 PM on January 23, 2011


It kept telling me I failed despite not moving anything. I didn't know I wasn't allowed to breathe!
posted by arcticseal at 5:33 PM on January 23, 2011


The instructions said to listen only to the sound of the waves, so I moused over to my audio player to pause it and....


FAILED!

Tricksy websiteses.
posted by SomeTrickPony at 5:34 PM on January 23, 2011


If it was pictures of cats, I could have done nothing for hours. Not everyone thinks the beach and the sound of waves is relaxing. Kind of irritating to me actually since I hate the beach.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 5:34 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, sometimes I just sit there and watch the timer go down when I'm downloading a file (even if it takes 30 minutes) so sitting there watching a screen for two minutes is nothing to me.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 5:37 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


After the site loaded I just turned on the latest Jon Steward video on my iPad and IM'd the site to my friend on my phone and left the laptop alone for 2 minutes. It said I won or something and I facebooked that. It is so nice to relax every once in a while.
posted by localhuman at 5:42 PM on January 23, 2011


It kind of suprises me how many people don't know how to simply meditate.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:55 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


God, you know, I really love Futura.
posted by dubitable at 5:56 PM on January 23, 2011


Wow. I really needed that.

Thanks.
posted by mediareport at 5:56 PM on January 23, 2011


Nobody else noticed the bear walking through in the background?
posted by kmz at 6:04 PM on January 23, 2011 [11 favorites]


Just what the doctor ordered. Thank you.
posted by notsnot at 6:19 PM on January 23, 2011


I failed from the get go 'cause I didn't take my hand off the mouse, even though I didn't move it....how did it know? doo-doo-doo-doo
posted by ourroute at 6:27 PM on January 23, 2011


I could easily do that, hell, I created a sonic piece meant to help myself effect a particular change in my life that involved doing nothing but sit and listen for two hours, man*. But the sanctimonious presentation of this immediately put me into a "fuck you jack, you can't tell me what to do" attitude. And the smug red "FAIL" that popped out when I started mousing up demonstrated that this thing is in its fundamental heart actually kind of preachy.

* it didn't work
posted by nanojath at 6:30 PM on January 23, 2011


Might be better without a visible timer. Or maybe one that is far less obvious. I appreciate the idea, but I was wary that I was just being relaxed so that I could be subjected to advertising at the end, so I failed with 1 second to go.
posted by aniola at 7:25 PM on January 23, 2011


Gaaah I need the cheat code for this game.
posted by Mister_A at 7:25 PM on January 23, 2011


If there's an inspirational message of peace and harmony at the end, I will fucking shoot someone.
posted by Mister_A at 7:26 PM on January 23, 2011


I got bored after 30 seconds and played games on my phone until the two minutes passed. I was actually kind of disappointed that there was nothing spectacular at the end.
posted by Hactar at 8:05 PM on January 23, 2011


I fell asleep.
posted by bwg at 8:13 PM on January 23, 2011


Huh. Don't Shoot the Puppy comes to mind.
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:15 PM on January 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


I opened up twenty-four of these in the background so I only had to relax for ten seconds.
posted by zippy at 8:24 PM on January 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


Couldnt do it because the crooked horizon bothered me.
posted by chococat at 8:28 PM on January 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


Relevant: Passive Resistance, Like Gandhi (previously)
posted by Rhaomi at 8:46 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


What chococat said. Hard to imagine soothing waves coming from a crooked horizon.
posted by Lukenlogs at 9:17 PM on January 23, 2011


zippy: "I opened up twenty-four of these in the background so I only had to relax for ten seconds"

So math wasn't your strong suit, huh?
posted by bwg at 9:45 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Failed, because I only have so many two-minute sections of time on this planet, and looking at fake sunsets in a web browser is not one of the uses I had planned for those sections.

Ranting about trivial things in MeFi comments is an approved use of 2 minutes, don't worry.
posted by unigolyn at 11:25 PM on January 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


It kind of suprises me how many people don't know how to simply meditate.

Your assumption here is that we don't know how to, when we actually just don't wish to. I'll have plenty of time to gaze my spiritual navel when I'm dead.
posted by unigolyn at 11:27 PM on January 23, 2011


Well, that's two minutes of my life I'll never get back
posted by fullerine at 3:50 AM on January 24, 2011


> I'll have plenty of time to gaze my spiritual navel when I'm dead.

Eh, proper meditation is simply a relaxation of brain and body and is as useful or more useful than physical exercise. Any ideas about "spiritual navels" are just pop culture baggage.
posted by Burhanistan at 6:19 AM on January 24, 2011


I liked that alot!

I didn't see an alot on the page. Where was it?
posted by kcds at 6:32 AM on January 24, 2011 [2 favorites]


I couldn't relax because I kept expecting some monster to pop in front of my screen and scream. The internet and I have trust issues.
posted by Tenacious.Me.Tokyo at 6:35 AM on January 24, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well website, you asked me to not touch my computer for 2 minutes and listen to waves, imploring me to 'do nothing'. I opted not to participate because this sort of thing in the middle of my work day is jarring and incongruous, but if it makes you feel better to imagine you've made some point about modern distraction or stress, you're welcome to.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:09 AM on January 24, 2011


Fail after 6 seconds. How about I do nothing after I get off the computer?
posted by Gankmore at 8:52 AM on January 24, 2011


does anyone know if the twitter and facebook icons were subliminally there for the entire two minutes? i really need to know.
posted by de at 8:52 AM on January 24, 2011


Twitter and Facebook icons are subliminally projected on all media everywhere.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:55 AM on January 24, 2011


Them things are downright liminal anymore, brah.
posted by Mister_A at 10:48 AM on January 24, 2011


On a similar note, my wife gets mad because I literally cannot do anything without trying to multi-task in some way - if I'm surfing the Net, I've got the news channel on mute. If I'm in the tub, I'm reading a book. If we're making supper, I'm singing a song.

Is there a site to make me stop doing *that*?
posted by Jaybo at 11:41 AM on January 24, 2011


So math wasn't your strong suit, huh?

I was so relaxed, it was as if time stood still for 5 seconds.
posted by zippy at 11:08 PM on January 24, 2011


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