October 4, 2001
2:26 PM   Subscribe

I think I may have just found the most explicit example of crass American commercialism. At eroticbid.com, you can purchase a porn star's actual labia. No, I'm not joking, and no, this isn't a rotten link.
posted by Spanktacular (17 comments total)

posted by kirkaracha at 2:38 PM on October 4, 2001

Goodness, I hope she's not thinking about sending those hermtically-sealed pudder-flaps off to the highest bidder without a couple of signed 8x10 glossies of the surgery...
posted by pudders at 2:39 PM on October 4, 2001

Wait....so now I too can own the dead flesh of porn stars?

Thank you capitalism!
posted by thewittyname at 2:44 PM on October 4, 2001

hmm. i think i just came up with the 100th way to order pizza.
posted by eyeballkid at 2:51 PM on October 4, 2001

My sister works for a plastic surgery firm in LA and says that this operation is one of their most popular. She says that the doctor is performing about four a week, eek! I doubt that all the clients save their labia though, and auctions are not a payment option.

The doctor there believes that enlargement of the labia comes from too much friction during sex. He told my sister that prevention was as simple as finding an uncircumcised man for a partner, or using more lube.
posted by DragonBoy at 3:03 PM on October 4, 2001

Oh, on a side note, Houston is know for having sex with 620 men in 24 hours. I guess that would be considered a labia enlarging event.
posted by DragonBoy at 3:09 PM on October 4, 2001

Oh, on a side note . . .

Yeah, who's going to pay so much for something that's clearly been used?

(Also, a big thank you to the folks at eroticbid.com-- I see enough ColdFusion error pages at work every day. I don't need to see one when I desperately want to know how much some schmuck is paying for an old breast implant.)
posted by yerfatma at 3:43 PM on October 4, 2001

The high bid is over $4000 right now. (for the labia, that is)
posted by sauril at 4:05 PM on October 4, 2001

So when a Commanche uses a bison's stomach for a water bag, he's respecting his kill and wasting nothing... but when some porn star auctions off her labia it's crass American commercialism?
posted by techgnollogic at 4:09 PM on October 4, 2001

no good can come out of this.

posted by lotsofno at 5:13 PM on October 4, 2001

techgnollogic, yes. Actually, the Commanche is just making good use of his resources, these people are selling body parts for a profit.

If you don't see what's so crass about that, you're a simple-minded fuckwit and I sincerely hope that your stupidity one day gets you killed.
posted by Spanktacular at 5:13 PM on October 4, 2001

Somebody needs a nap.
posted by techgnollogic at 5:57 PM on October 4, 2001

You all realise, of course, that 'Osama Bin Laden' is an anagram of 'Mend a labia, son'.
posted by rory at 9:01 PM on October 4, 2001

What would be truly cool, I reckon, is if the successful bidder either

a) used some kind of nefarious cloning technology to produce about 33000 copies (Note : may not be actual number of labia required) of the lip in question and had all those wrinkly bits of pr0nflesh surgically attached all over his or her body in serried rows, like some sort of psychedelic meat-feathers...


b) No, I better not.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:27 AM on October 5, 2001

This was on memepool months ago
posted by fellorwaspushed at 11:37 AM on October 5, 2001

August 29, 2000, I thought I'd seen it somewhere. But the auction says it opened on August 20, 2001. Hmm...
posted by techgnollogic at 2:36 PM on October 5, 2001

Enlarged labia minora *may* be caused by excess friction, although I have never heard such a thing. But most often, the labia has been somewhat enlarged since birth and becomes prominent in puberty and with age.

And I think it is a crying-freaking-shame that women feel that should have them "trimmed down." How sad.
posted by brittney at 8:02 PM on October 6, 2001

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