Would you like freedom fries with that?

March 11, 2003 11:10 AM

Would you like freedom fries with that? The cafeteria menus in the three House office buildings will change the name of "french fries" to "freedom fries," a culinary rebuke of France, stemming from anger over the country's refusal to support the U.S. position on Iraq. Ditto for "french toast," which will be known as "freedom toast."
posted by orange swan (100 comments total)

Is this the kindergarten cafeteria?
posted by nofundy at 11:13 AM on March 11, 2003 [2 favorites]

I think I'm going to go freedom braid my hair, freedom kiss someone, or just make up my own juvenile, meaningless gesture to make it clear to everyone I'm sulking because someone disagrees with me.
posted by orange swan at 11:14 AM on March 11, 2003 [1 favorite]

Not wanting to go to war = 'passive aggression'. Priceless. Nice work, Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH), way to go to bat for your constituents.
posted by GriffX at 11:15 AM on March 11, 2003

mmm ... breathtakingly frivolous (not to mention asinine) legislation ... my tax dollars at work.
posted by donkeyschlong at 11:18 AM on March 11, 2003

Does that make my girlfriend Freedom-Canadian?

If so, I'm gonna go give her a big Freedom-kiss before I go to my Freedom class.
posted by jon_kill at 11:19 AM on March 11, 2003

Does that mean that France = freedom?
posted by widdershins at 11:19 AM on March 11, 2003

This was funny when it was a diner down in Cooter County. It's fucking embarrassing (and maybe just a little too revealing) when it happens in the seat of our government.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:19 AM on March 11, 2003

Ya know, people with bongos and obnoxious signs at peace marches embarrass me, but I think this is probably even more shaming.

Meanwhile, you can get a ticket to Paris for a little over 200 bucks.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 11:21 AM on March 11, 2003

Ridiculous. How much is this change going to cost? What I find strange is the fact that France receives zero credit after fighting Muslim extremists for 50 years. Wouldn't their experience suggest they have learned to recognize a genuine threat?
posted by rotifer at 11:22 AM on March 11, 2003

slap me with brie
posted by madamjujujive at 11:23 AM on March 11, 2003

Hey... if you're in charge of the committee with power over the House cafeterias, you've probably been waiting forever for a chance to flex your muscles...

Anyway... I guess this is further evidence that our system doesn't elect the "best and brightest" to make our laws...
posted by crookdimwit at 11:25 AM on March 11, 2003

And to think the traditional all-American hot dog is routinely being defiled by this.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:25 AM on March 11, 2003

the people who thought this up aren't handicapped, they're handy-capable!
posted by UncleFes at 11:26 AM on March 11, 2003

This kind of reminds me of World War I, when sauerkraut became Liberty Cabbage, and New Berlin, Ontario was renamed Kitchener, Ontario (after a stupid shithead of a WWI general who sent many regiments of calvary out to battle tanks).

Funny how the human race never does make much progress.
posted by orange swan at 11:26 AM on March 11, 2003

Meanwhile, in the rest of the World, Texas weiners will be referred to as "aggressive shithead weiners."
posted by condour75 at 11:26 AM on March 11, 2003

Gee, you know, Germany and Russia oppose the war, too. Those weasels and their fat-ass supporters better stop sipping vodka martinis in the back of their BMWs. Oh wait. Nobody's actually boycotting the food...just conveniently renaming it. Idiots.
posted by drinkcoffee at 11:27 AM on March 11, 2003

No, no. You're all missing the point! The US is recognizing France's freedom to vote their conscience!

Seriously though, isn't the irony getting a little think when we accuse a nation of inhibiting freedom by not doing what we tell them to?
posted by kfury at 11:28 AM on March 11, 2003 [1 favorite]

Pathetic. Shamefully childish. Our government is null and void.
posted by y6y6y6 at 11:29 AM on March 11, 2003

What a bunch of #%&!@ babies!
posted by quirked at 11:30 AM on March 11, 2003

Frankly (I mean, freedom-ly), does anyone think the French will give a flying fig newton that we're changing the name on things probably inappropriately have French attribution anyway?

Good thing we're not mad at the Belgians... "Freedom" waffles would be just too silly. And as for German pancackes.... you know, they're not really panckakes as such, could we call them something else?
posted by namespan at 11:31 AM on March 11, 2003

Laughably bonkers.

I was going to suggest some witty retort around changing the name of "American foobar" to "Warmongering foobar", but the only thing I could think of was "American Express" and that doesn't really work...

"Warmongering Express...Don't leave home without it!"
posted by salmacis at 11:33 AM on March 11, 2003

We should send the Statue of Liberty back while we're at it.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 11:36 AM on March 11, 2003

This just in: France relieved at no longer being associated with crappy American food, still just as opposed to military action. Story at 11.
posted by mccreath at 11:38 AM on March 11, 2003

strangeleftydoublethink: I LOVE IT!

Who wants to set up the 'Send back the Statue of Liberty' site?
posted by kfury at 11:46 AM on March 11, 2003

The fine folks in Quebec need to rename poutine: "Ney frites."

I don't think Ney is finished. I'm waiting for the announcement they've outlawed French words borrowed by the anglophones and all English words with French roots.

Next, we'll see Americans in Montreal demanding everyone stop speaking that "Liberty" language.

salmacis: Maybe you can start ordering your pizza in Montreal -- "Warmonger style?"
posted by ?! at 11:47 AM on March 11, 2003

A little early for April Fool's day, CNN. If only this WERE a joke.
posted by archimago at 11:48 AM on March 11, 2003

So many jokes... choking... can't get them all out at once. Seriously though, this is hilarious:

if you're in charge of the committee with power over the House cafeterias, you've probably been waiting forever for a chance to flex your muscles...

So true, so true.
posted by jonson at 11:49 AM on March 11, 2003

BTW- Not being a constitutent of any of the fine, fine men mentioned in the article, where's the best place one might complain to? Just pop something off to Chairman Ney?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:52 AM on March 11, 2003

I've got freedom ticklers for anyone who wants one! Come one, come all. Oh, I'm a dirty, dirty boy.
posted by WolfDaddy at 11:56 AM on March 11, 2003

Those are a good way of avoiding the Freedom Pox!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:57 AM on March 11, 2003

A moronic irony: Protesting France's freedom to hold opposing views by calling fries "freedom."

Jimmy Kimmel had some numbskull restaurant owners on who changed their fries to "freedom fries." They sent Jimmy a mug that had "no" sign over the french flag, promoting "freedom fries." Jimmy turned the mug over and it said: "Made in China." Love that! Protesting anti-Americanism with communist labor.

Morons, morons, morons.
posted by eperker at 11:58 AM on March 11, 2003

I sure do love those wacky articles at the Onion... oh wait, this is CNN...
posted by Robot Johnny at 12:01 PM on March 11, 2003

it goes both way many friends of mine are increasing their consumption of french wine.

about the house (and its majority whip (speaking of freedom fry)) rafe sums it up pretty well.
posted by specialk420 at 12:02 PM on March 11, 2003

sadly, it's mostly about brains. brains and manners

the House is in the hands of the "Impeach Clinton At All Cost Posse", and it's hard to be surprised: what the Republican Huns don't seem to understand is that it's perfectly possible to hate Clinton without sinking to the level of sniffing stained dresses and publishing bad hardcore porn on www.house.gov

just the same, they just can not figure out that it's perfectly possible to be in favor of the Iraq war and against French grandstanding without sinking to (as nofundy pointed out) kindergarten behavior

*shakes head, disheartened*
posted by matteo at 12:15 PM on March 11, 2003

I know it's not the same link, but this has been discussed before.
posted by rhapsodie at 12:35 PM on March 11, 2003

Rep. Jim Saxton, R-New Jersey, has introduced legislation in the House that would block any French company from receiving U.S. government aid or financing in any reconstruction of Iraq. Another measure discourages American tourists, businesses and the government from participating in the 2003 Paris Air show. I wonder what it would take to pass legislation that helps schools, nearly bankrupted state governments or the growing numbers of unemployed. Hmmmm.....Oh I know! Sharing a border with Iraq! Ass-hats......
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:35 PM on March 11, 2003

Sickening.

FWIW: Here's Rep Ney's press release on the action, and here's his home page... as well as Rep Jones' home page.

Maybe you want to send some of Ney's fellow House Administration committee members a letter on the matter... as from all indications, this was a unilateral move by the committee chairman (Ney).
posted by silusGROK at 12:35 PM on March 11, 2003

I'm just glad that the Italians are on board with us! Otherwise I'd have to order the independence sub, or some other new-speak nonsense.
posted by Birichini at 12:49 PM on March 11, 2003

Next item on the House agenda: a big fat pay raise and better benefits for all members. After all, they've earned it with this heavy lifting and serious business.
posted by nofundy at 12:50 PM on March 11, 2003

Heh. Instead of being angry, I'm somewhat amused. I wonder what the lunch lady's reaction'll be when some congressman asks for "Freedom Toast".... It's hard enough getting your order right in a cafeteria as it is :)
posted by unreason at 12:57 PM on March 11, 2003

I would think the French would actually be quite relieved about this- it's not like either of those food items are French. The tax dollars wasted in this endeavor probably could have put Rep Ney through four years of college, surely enough time for him to get a clue.
posted by mkultra at 1:04 PM on March 11, 2003

What else do they have to do now that they've become a rubber stamp for the White House?
posted by nofundy at 1:07 PM on March 11, 2003

Well, I have to thank Mr. Ney for helping to make me just a little less proud to be an American. Nothing good can come of a campaign to incite hatred against the people of another nation.

This continuing saga makes me want to take holiday in France this year.
posted by mosch at 1:11 PM on March 11, 2003

What are they gonna call a Hamburger? I hear the Germans are against this war too
posted by yeahyeahyeahwhoo at 1:11 PM on March 11, 2003

If these idiots wanted to take things to their logical extremes (i.e. protest any country that doesn't jump on board the love train), the possiblities are endless:

No more late-night Chinese take-out.
No vodka.
No more BMW's.
Power lunches in New York at the Freedom Tea Room.

Worst of all, for me at least, would be eating Freedom Chocolate Cake. Mmm... coconutty frosting...
posted by RKB at 1:13 PM on March 11, 2003

I didn't believe it, so I went and looked. At the Cannon snack bar, they're serving the German-sounding "Waffer Fries." At the main cafeteria, though, there's a sign proudly proclaiming the new "Freedom Fries." I tried to take a picture, but it didn't come out. Shit.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:16 PM on March 11, 2003

This continuing saga makes me want to take holiday in France this year.

MTV has beat you to it.

God, not even *I* want to inflict this upon the French!
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:18 PM on March 11, 2003

Grown-ups did that.
Never forget that.
posted by gottabefunky at 1:19 PM on March 11, 2003

I weep for our country, in the hands of such immaturity.

*cries*
posted by adampsyche at 1:21 PM on March 11, 2003

"I'll have the Italian Sausage sandwich with Swiss Cheese, the Costa Rican coffee, and the Belgian Chocolate Cake for desert."

"Do you want Freedom with that?"
posted by Captain Ligntning at 1:30 PM on March 11, 2003

That's good old fashion American ingenuity liberté ingéniosité for you!

Please pass the liberté fromage, would you?!
posted by insomnia_lj at 1:35 PM on March 11, 2003

I was in France last month, in Paris no less, and all the French that I spoke to were deeply concerned about the dangerous state of the World, not simply protecting French interests. And most were able to express themselves clearly without falling back on stereotyped Bush=Moron slogans, as well. If you live abroad, you realize that Bush's simplistic demonizing of the French is appealing to a simplistic, primitive, schoolyard bully style - which is what many in the world find the most frightening aspect of the new American Empire. It may work domestically, but it has probably hurt America's image for years to come.

I remember visiting my local pub in Budapest on the evening of 9/11. Most of the crowd sat silent, not knowing what to say. The people who jumped up to console us that evening - two very distraught Yanks - were the French and the Serbs. Think about that. We have come a long way. Too long.
posted by zaelic at 1:36 PM on March 11, 2003

Please, kind Sir, could I have some more? Could I please have just a little more Government Gruel to go with my Tyranny Toast?
posted by troutfishing at 1:38 PM on March 11, 2003

Never let it be said that there was a bandwagon so ridiculous that you couldn't find a Congressman to hop aboard.
posted by Cerebus at 1:38 PM on March 11, 2003

This totally wrecks the dinner mon dieu [.wav, 586 K] from Better Off Dead: "First we have...Fraunch fried. And...Fraunch dressing. And...Fraunch fries. And to drink--ta-daa!...Peru."
posted by kirkaracha at 1:41 PM on March 11, 2003

Suddenly I'm a zealot for term limits.

Am I living in a Simpsons episode or a South Park episode? I can't tell.
posted by furiousthought at 1:42 PM on March 11, 2003

Around here, we just call them "fries."


I'm thinking we should declare open hunting season on members of Congress. Obviously, that herd needs to be thinned.
posted by tolkhan at 1:44 PM on March 11, 2003

A couple of weeks ago, Bob Ney introduced a bill, the Responsible Lending Act, that would strip the states of their right to restrict predatory mortgage lending. Here's an excerpt from a news release I got today from ACORN, an organization that opposes Ney's bill (the "I" refers to David Swanson, ACORN's communications coordinator):

Rep. Bob Ney (R., Ohio) today ordered cafeterias in the House office buildings to rename french fries and French toast to express dissatisfaction with France's opposition to U.S. policy on Iraq.

As long as we're being careful with names, I would like to propose that Congressman Ney rename the Responsible Lending Act (HR 833) to reflect the dissatisfaction that states, cities, and consumer groups have with this irresponsible attack on home ownership. I would propose the name Loan Shark Protection Act.
posted by Holden at 1:45 PM on March 11, 2003

All I ever needed to know about Franco-American relations I learned from National Lampoon's European Vacation.
posted by PrinceValium at 1:47 PM on March 11, 2003

OK, everyone: don't forget, if you get lucky tonight, you'll need a freedom letter ...
posted by kaemaril at 1:53 PM on March 11, 2003

Changing the name of french fries makes about as much sense as coming up with laws that ban flag burning and bureaucratic school officials that make kids say the pledge. It's a way of politicians to score political points with the voters in order to hide the fact they don't actually do anything but suck society dry.
posted by whirlwind29 at 1:54 PM on March 11, 2003

Petition your congressman to change the title of "Chairman of the Committee on House Administration" to "Lord of the Dance".
posted by cardboard at 2:01 PM on March 11, 2003

from the Yahoo! news article:

"The French Embassy in Washington had no immediate comment, except to say that french fries actually come from Belgium."

Ha!
posted by FearTormento at 2:22 PM on March 11, 2003

"The French Embassy in Washington had no immediate comment, except to say that french fries actually come from Belgium."
Quelle riposte!
posted by Holden at 2:32 PM on March 11, 2003

If you live abroad, you realize that Bush's simplistic demonizing of the French is appealing to a simplistic, primitive, schoolyard bully style - which is what many in the world find the most frightening aspect of the new American Empire.

You don't need to live outside the US to realize that.

As for the fries: this same thing was done with Hamburgers and other German sounding foods during WWI. It's nothing more than troll from my government and once Bush's war is over no one will remember it, or at least I hope so.
posted by Bag Man at 2:38 PM on March 11, 2003

As a follow up: Dear Mr. Bush, why are we at "war" with our allies before we make war againt our enemies? I guess all Bush knows how to do is make war.
posted by Bag Man at 2:41 PM on March 11, 2003

meanwhile, a survey of blogdex reveals that the so-called "anti-idiotarians" are curiously silent on this. just sayin'.
posted by donkeyschlong at 2:58 PM on March 11, 2003

I think this says it all:

http://waveridersystems.com/fries/
posted by Captain Ligntning at 2:59 PM on March 11, 2003

You may mock, but this is about ensuring the rest of the world get french of opportunity, french of religion and french of speech.
posted by liam at 3:00 PM on March 11, 2003

awright, with me being utterly tanked at the moment (ah, the vinho verde! how I love thee)...I am *this* close to registering and hosting sendbackthestatueofliberty.us

but only if I can depend upon you crazy crackers for help with the content.

time is short, I won't be drunk tomorrow. oh wait, yes I will!

damned portuguese...
posted by dorian at 3:18 PM on March 11, 2003

Has Metafilter ever stood so united in ridicule?
posted by UlfMagnet at 3:20 PM on March 11, 2003

(yeah yah, that's right, I have no job at the moment. well, other than random tasks for an interior designer friend of mine from portugal who used to work for pierre cardin, e.g. researching and filing patents for him. and, of course, drinking the vino. blagh.)

Has Metafilter ever stood so united in ridicule?

didn't we make fun of that little kid that fell down the hole that time?
posted by dorian at 3:22 PM on March 11, 2003

Anti-idiotarians? Anointing that name for oneself is just as deserving of ridicule as these ridiculous fries.
posted by adampsyche at 3:32 PM on March 11, 2003

whatever you do, don't acknowledge the Statue of Liberty. She came with the fries & toast.
posted by psycht at 3:35 PM on March 11, 2003

Anti-idiotarians? Anointing that name for oneself is just as deserving of ridicule as these ridiculous fries.

i was referring to the warbloggers. many of them refer to themselves as such. they preoccupy themselves with the minutiae of arafat's toilette, but shove a glaring waste of taxpayer dollars in their face ... silencio.
posted by donkeyschlong at 3:40 PM on March 11, 2003

Yeah, I picked up on that. I didn't know that they were calling themselves that now. *sigh*
posted by adampsyche at 3:48 PM on March 11, 2003

Freedom Toast sounds about right, when you think of it. And so does Freedom Fries.

I mean, what better way to salute burning down a country's culture for oil for cars to burn than to attach the word freedom to fried and crispy foods?
posted by shepd at 3:51 PM on March 11, 2003

If we didn't look completely crazy to the rest of the world by now, well this just tipped the scale.

I know. Pass the Victory Gin.
posted by trondant at 3:54 PM on March 11, 2003

Funny isn't it, donkeyschlong, how warbloggers seem to oscillate between condemnation of academia, and campainging to fight "idiocy"? But then warbloggers are "funny" folks anyway :)

This move is immature, pathetic, and, as people have pointed out, I'm sure the French couldn't care less. Too busy looking out for their own piece of the world.
posted by Jimbob at 3:55 PM on March 11, 2003

Today, of course, the worldwide popularity of McDonalds and Burger King and Wendy's and their ilk have brought French fries to the world. Amusingly, they are now often called "American fries" in many countries.

A Freedom Toast indeed, of Victory Gin!

The irony these days in the United States is jaw-droppingly awesome. Comedians and writers and other creatives are going to have more material in the coming generations than the US does idiots in 2003. Inspiring times.
posted by crasspastor at 4:48 PM on March 11, 2003

I am seriously thinking of moving to France - if only for their authentically named fries.
posted by quadog at 5:08 PM on March 11, 2003

Isn't Ney a French name? The Right Honorable gentleman must, then, change his own name. I suggest the ultimate semiotic of alienation: X.

"Chairman X's Freedom Fries: Eat them if know what's good for you."
posted by rdone at 5:34 PM on March 11, 2003

Cheese spreaders try pre-emptive maneouver.
posted by asok at 5:49 PM on March 11, 2003

It's free that the liberty of freedom is freedom, but is also always liberty. If you want to have your freedom and eat your liberty too, then you have to liberty your freedom. Jaberwocky from an administration that is truly through the looking glass.
posted by holycola at 6:46 PM on March 11, 2003

Oh, and Orange Swan, you'll have to change your name to Freedom Swan, since Orange and about a third of the words in Standard American English are of French origin. Watch out, OED!
posted by holycola at 6:48 PM on March 11, 2003

This is embarrassing.
posted by moonbiter at 7:56 PM on March 11, 2003

why dont you just call them chips ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:42 PM on March 11, 2003

Freedom chips?

I think not. You're missing the point, sarge.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:31 PM on March 11, 2003

Oh and if you feel like it, feel free to fire off an email to Mr. Ney at [e-mail] so you can tell him out you feel about grandstanding little pricks like himself that use hate for another country and exploit our feelings for our troops to score political points with the voters back home.
posted by whirlwind29 at 11:03 PM on March 11, 2003

Ngo Dien Diem Open-Face Sandwich (CIA Style)

Augusto Pinochet Well-Mashed Potatoes

Napoleon Duarte Dogs

Castillo Armas Cola

anyone?

Well, he did forget the Mossadegh caviar emptor canapes
posted by y2karl at 1:17 AM on March 12, 2003

Wow. Scary.
posted by Doozer at 2:27 AM on March 12, 2003

Yeah, I picked up on that. I didn't know that they were calling themselves that now. *sigh*

The term was coined by Glenn Reynolds of InstaPunditCracker fame.

The silence from the righty tighties is truly deafening in this thread. Where are the screamers we've come to expect? No one has called me a name this entire time. Weird.

Tomorrow's agenda for the House of RepresentativesRubberStamp: rename National Airport to Saint Raygun National Airport and then fuck with the residents of DC some more.
posted by nofundy at 5:14 AM on March 12, 2003

I say you Americans take the next, obvious, bold step: send back those fucking freedom poodles!

And I'm volunteering Canada's full support on this one.

- Freedom Swan
posted by orange swan at 5:45 AM on March 12, 2003

I am doing my best to get rid of the Frenchie Orange, but Freedom Swan just doesn't look or sound right.

I want to be Licentious Swan.
posted by orange swan at 5:54 AM on March 12, 2003

If Americans want to know why they have a reputation for being irony-free, well it's stories like this.

(I'm not saying Americans are irony-free, no flames please)
posted by Summer at 6:10 AM on March 12, 2003

(I'm not saying Americans are irony-free, no flames please)

I am. I present Fark's tag as an example...
posted by twine42 at 7:09 AM on March 12, 2003

I love French embassy press officer, Jeannie Freud's (great-grandneice of Sigmund Freud) reply to all the brouhaha (oops, a French word!):

"Either [Rep. Bob Ney (R-OH) and Rep. Walter Jones (R-NC)] have a great sense of humor or no sense of humor at all. First of all, french fries are not French at all—they are from Belgium. ...It is too bad that someone would take a beautiful word like 'freedom' and put it on something as trivial as a potato. Freedom is too important for fries."

Amen to that Jeannie!
posted by terrapin at 8:33 AM on March 12, 2003

Suddenly I'm a zealot for term limits.

Am I living in a Simpsons episode or a South Park episode? I can't tell.

Abe: (Wearing a headset and twiddling knobs on a control panel) "Come in, come in...Mayday! I'm losing your transmission..."

Man at the Krusty Burger drive-through window: (Yelling) "I said FRENCH fries!"

Abe: (Surprised) "What the...? We sell... french... fries?"
posted by Caffine_Fiend at 12:00 PM on March 12, 2003

Yeah, I'm late to the party. However, I called the DC office for Bob Ney (hit contact on the link that PinkStainlessTail gave us up there a ways) and I said "Hi, I'm not sure how to go about this..." and she said "you're calling about the freedom fries?" I said yes and she transferred me. I got a guy and I told him I was calling about the freedom fries, and he sort of sighed. I asked if they had gotten a lot of these calls lately and I said yes. I then asked him two questions: Why would they try to equate france with freedom? He wasn't sure. Then I said "How come this matters? French fries aren't even french!" he was surprised and I told him why they're called french-he thought that was interesting and that I had a point. Then I asked him when we were sending back the Statue Of Liberty (thanks strangelefty!) and he said "oh, I don't think it'll go that far." I replied with "Well, I didn't think it would go as far as making congress order hamburgers and freedom fries, but now I think anything must be possible." He said I had a point, and then I mentioned that Germany wasn't exactly behind us a thousand percent, were we going to make them order a freedom burger with those freedom fries? That made him laugh. I thanked him for his time, wished him a lovely afternoon, and hung up. I think he sounded a bit relieved that I wasn't screaming at him.
posted by verso at 12:47 PM on March 12, 2003

verso soft sell rocks.
posted by troutfishing at 4:33 PM on March 12, 2003