Lycos Legal - Terms and Conditions
July 23, 2001 11:30 PM   Subscribe

Lycos Legal - Terms and Conditions This is by far the longest legal agreement I have ever seen for a web site. 15,144 words that would occupy over 31 printed pages. 38 distinct types of prohibited conduct.
posted by jeffbarr (13 comments total)
They ought to be required to supply an introductory abstract of the contract: "Our lawyers eat people like you for lunch. No, really. They're cannibals. So don't bother to read the damned contract. Just click Agree and hope we don't take your children away from you."

Here's a real quotation from it:

"Lycos further reserves the right to terminate any user's access to the Lycos Network or to any of the Products and Services for any reason or for no reason at all, in Lycos' sole discretion, without prior notice, or any notice."

So they guarantee to guarantee you nothing.

And with all of the apparent care they take in engineering these mounds of steaming unreadabilities ("and/or" occurs 14 evil times), they still can't get their grammar right:

"By using the Products and Services, you are agree, without limitation or qualification, to be bound by..."
posted by pracowity at 12:00 AM on July 24, 2001

I got a contract at work the other day for a $7500/month service that was one page long. It was a breath of fresh air. I was kind of hoping maybe the tide was receding. Guess not.
posted by JParker at 1:42 AM on July 24, 2001

Only 31 pages of rules, restrictions and threats? Gosh, they should scrap the "Lycos" thing and call themselves the "Pleasure Dome". What a garden of mad delights! Think I'll join right now, where "each of us can prosper, grow, and enjoy ourselves within an open and non-threatening environment."

Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly...
posted by Opus Dark at 2:18 AM on July 24, 2001

The "Lycos Communities Guidelines" make for some mighty fine reading. And all these years I thought I was an acceptable member of society....
posted by shinybeast at 2:40 AM on July 24, 2001

All your agree are belong to us. *ducks*
posted by darukaru at 2:54 AM on July 24, 2001

Actually, I know a guy who works for the Tripod division of Lycos, and it's his job to enforce these terms of service, usually by wiping people's accounts for hosting mp3s or pr0n.
He has the best mp3 and pr0n collection of anyone I've ever met.
posted by darukaru at 2:57 AM on July 24, 2001

posted by lagado at 5:11 AM on July 24, 2001

People still use Lycos?
posted by Hankins at 6:07 AM on July 24, 2001

I used to work for Lycos (back when the non-disclosure agreement for contractors was a mere 2 pages!) and this type of stuff is hardly surprising. There were about 10 of us to manage the chat rooms and message boards within those lovely terms (usually made by ex-AOLers that Lycos hired). Bleah.
posted by thescoop at 6:22 AM on July 24, 2001

oooh, 38 types of prohibited conduct, each of which will get an account wiped and allow its owner to start over again with a new one. Real productivity there.
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 10:41 AM on July 24, 2001

I pasted this into Microsoft Word and had it do a 100 word or less autosummary. Here's what it came up with:

All Lycos Network registrations become the exclusive property of Lycos, its affiliates and subsidiaries. Community Manager
Lycos, Inc.
400-2 Totten Pond Road
Waltham, MA 02451
Lycos does not charge users for their use of Lycos Shop. Lycos will not get involved in any dispute between users of Lycos Auctions.

posted by milnak at 11:46 AM on July 24, 2001

posted by fooljay at 6:15 PM on July 24, 2001

Oh, I might also mention that it is society's propensity towards quick litigation which has born these monstrosities.

I happen to have done the same thing as darukaru's friend and I can tell you, when you're dealing with people who trash your service, you don't want to be bound by many restrictions...

So they guarantee to guarantee you nothing.

You get what you pay for, no?

Also, my P3P thing was a bit of a non-sequitur in retrospect since most companies have a separate privacy policy (which is what P3P will parse and communicate to browsers).
posted by fooljay at 9:03 PM on July 24, 2001

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