MetaFilter

Would it make more sense that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree?
posted to MetaFilter by C17H19NO3 at 9:33 AM on August 14, 2008

PUNCH 'EM IN THE DICK.
posted to MetaTalk by chrismear at 6:29 AM on August 6, 2008

This doesn't seem any worse than getting pregant to make your man stay with you, or two have little servants to work the farm, or so that there are more servant for Jesus, or because you're afraid that stupid people are having more babies than you and you want to make sure there are a lot of smart babies, or because you want to show your parents that you can be a better parent then them, or because you want something to love you unconditionally, or because your mother wants to be a grandmother,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 2:16 PM on August 4, 2008

To me, as someone whose best friend is a canine-American, this is a values disconnect that can't be won and shouldn't be fought -- you love your dog, your dog is your friend. He's basically telling you to dump your friend, or at least treat your friend quite poorly, and making no effort to see what you value in your friend.

I'd DTMFA before the kibble hit the floor. Personally. And find someone who felt the way I do about dogs (and I did.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by A Terrible Llama at 12:58 PM on July 22, 2008

I would not continue a relationship with someone who was like this with my dogs.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Acer_saccharum at 12:41 PM on July 22, 2008

When they say, “I wish I weren’t so fat," you could say, "well, if you get better exercise and make permanent changes to your diet and lifestyle, over time, you will lose weight."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 11:00 AM on July 21, 2008

There's a boarded up theater in my neighborhood that from this picture, showed Metropolis in September 1927 (if you look at the billboard behind the stop sign, you can see it says that Metropolis is playing that week). The neighborhood has hopes that the theater will be restored as a community art space/theater, it would be sort of appropriate if this restored version played there some day.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by octothorpe at 4:22 PM on July 2, 2008

Jesus christ, you have so much drama involved with your work. This is like the fifth question about something SO UNBEARABLE at work. Have you considered getting some therapy for all these fears you have about other people? I think you might benefit from therapy and anti-anxiety medication.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by chiababe at 4:46 AM on June 21, 2008

In other news, you can save 100% of the cost of owning an iPhone by not buying one. Or any other cell phone.

*runs and hides*
posted to MetaFilter by you just lost the game at 2:34 PM on June 9, 2008

Being strongly vaginal bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable.

Vagina. They don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
posted to MetaFilter by rokusan at 1:54 AM on June 9, 2008

From the Wikipedia article:

According to Kate, "I began to feel like we could do this! With God's help, of course!"

If God had wanted you to bear 6 children at once, He wouldn't have made you infertile.
posted to MetaFilter by Mayor Curley at 2:59 PM on June 6, 2008

i thought Barack HUSSEIN Obama was a terrierist and now i hear that he is a terrierist traitor and so now the terriers want to kill him... amirite?

god hates a terrier.
posted to MetaFilter by geos at 8:13 AM on June 2, 2008

I'm sorry, is this something I would have to be a self-absorbed "social media" blogger to understand?
posted to MetaFilter by dersins at 2:36 PM on May 22, 2008

Holy oh my wow are there some insane completely off the mark answers here. I guess I shouldn't say that without knowing more of the temperament your boy might look for in a dog. Does he want a dog to fetch with? Cuddle with? Swim with? Scare away people?

Next, and this is hardcore personal conjecture, but the only thing worse than the adamant pushing of purebred dogs is the adamant pushing of flipping designer dogs. Back in the day, these dogs were called something... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by TomMelee at 7:41 PM on May 8, 2008

You know, every time the church/state separation in schools thing comes up on Metafilter, I'm absolutely flabbergasted at what American teachers who have a firmly religious mindset are able to get away with in the course of teaching classes that have absolutely nothing to do with religion.

It's such an odd state of affairs to read about if you were educated at a state school in the UK. The idea that my history teacher, who had plenty biases of his own, most of them... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Len at 4:57 PM on April 27, 2008

What disgusting behavior by a bunch of pathetic unsocialized losers. Reading that livejournal account by "theferret", I want to pull paragraphs out and write a clinical intake of his sexual dysfunction. But that would take forever.

You know, all of these people are very nice people. They are the kind of people who feel lonely and alienated because they're 'weird' and they end up forming clubs where everyone is nice and accepting to each other and all... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Pastabagel at 8:11 AM on April 23, 2008

If you favorite this comment I'll send you a mushy MeFi mail love note, possibly with integral equations in them.
posted to MetaFilter by onalark at 8:53 PM on February 24, 2008

I kind of enjoyed it when, on the night of the first primary, on another website, somebody posted 'It's Obama & Huckabee."

Obama and Huckabee. Sounds vaguely like a Disney film about two animals who have adventures together. Maybe an elephant and a squirrel.
posted to MetaTalk by jonmc at 4:51 PM on February 18, 2008

Wondering the same thing as emyd. Are you planning on showing the dog? Making sure he's of good quality to breed? Are his parents championed? If not, don't contribute to pet overpopulation. In fact, if his parents aren't championed and health tested, I'd pass on the dog all together. "AKC registered" is little more than a piece of paper and is no guarantee - or even suggestion - of quality.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by [insert clever name here] at 12:09 AM on February 16, 2008

If 65913 people favorite this comment, I'll get drunk and dance naked on my porch then pass out.
posted to MetaFilter by jonmc at 4:07 PM on February 10, 2008

If 500 people favorite this comment, I'll disable my account.
posted to MetaFilter by hermitosis at 3:54 PM on February 10, 2008

Thanks, now I know where not to move, thereby avoiding said screeching hoards.
posted to MetaFilter by wowbobwow at 7:41 AM on January 23, 2008

THE COMMENT
posted to MetaFilter by __ at 1:43 PM on January 15, 2008

I look forward to him live-blogging his adventures on his iPhone.
posted to MetaTalk by blue_beetle at 11:56 AM on January 15, 2008

Judging from Livejournal, there seems to be a correlation between fibromyalgia, Tori Amos fandom, and a propensity for writing self-pitying poetry. I'm not sure whether science has looked into this.
posted to MetaFilter by kittens for breakfast at 6:29 AM on January 15, 2008

Flagged as Ron Paul
posted to MetaFilter by kittens for breakfast at 12:55 PM on January 8, 2008

OMG, this seems so normal it's hard to imagine it otherwise. There's nothing wrong with him, and nothing wrong with you. Just talk to him.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by tristeza at 9:00 PM on January 3, 2008

Yeah, I wonder how up to date some of this stuff is?

Well, it's prison. People there don't get out much.
posted to MetaFilter by jonmc at 5:40 PM on January 2, 2008

Just to play devil's advocate, there are other possibilities besides "Drug B killed her," such as: The 6-7 day estimate was the upward end of the estimate (as to not get your hopes up.) Her treatment plans were changed. She may have really just coincidentally had a heart attack or an aneurysm. The staff may have been well aware of her dementia and noted it on her chart but felt that she had passed criteria for being able to make decisions. And yes, they really may have determined that... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by desuetude at 9:46 AM on December 14, 2007

An interesting blog run by a Chicago cop...anonymously...the comments on the posts are gold. Borderline and fully in-country racist stuff too (from other cops). Sometimes you have to wade through that sh1t to hear what is really going on. The best part of the blog is that they talk about all of the back-room deals that the police department brass have with the politicians (and their supporters). Who is untouchable? What city department had their vehicles towed after a "war"... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by zerobyproxy at 10:58 AM on December 13, 2007

I guess I'll bring this up, since no one else has.: if your wife was seriously depressed for years and you knew it, why did you get her pregnant not once, but twice?

I'm remembering Andrea Yates and what a bastard her husband was, how dead her children are. I'm not implying that you are like him, but I see your two children as the elephant in the room. You must have known after the first child that your wife wasn't particularly maternal. So why is there a second?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by clarkstonian at 7:04 PM on December 5, 2007

Asperger's is like Ron Paul. On the internet, everyone has it and everyone supports it.
posted to MetaTalk by Stynxno at 1:32 PM on November 29, 2007

I'm sorry, I tried to be subtle about it, but it didn't work. Again, I'm sorry, I know this is trivial and I shouldn't be complaining about it, but it's driving me crazy:

It's "martial law".

Once again, I'm sorry.
posted to MetaFilter by Flunkie at 8:41 PM on September 23, 2007

Well, adoption isn't a bad thing...

As long as there are children who need adoptive parents, I can't seem to mobilise a lot of sympathy for infertile would-be parents.
posted to MetaFilter by Harald74 at 12:05 AM on September 18, 2007

This is way beyond not knowing how to clean. It's straight up disrespectful! I would NOT be ok with sleeping in a second bedroom at my boyfriends house because the alternative is being with him and his 5,000 bug friends. And I would certainly not be ok with the fact that this is acceptable to him. Especially if the defense is "I'm sensitive." My response would be something along the lines of "yeah, well I'm sensitive about sleeping in cockroach shit, cohorting with vile... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by iamkimiam at 12:05 PM on September 10, 2007

For the love of all that is holy do not clean his apartment for him. He is a grown man. This is the 21st century.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bluebird at 8:59 AM on September 10, 2007

I agree with those who advocate a hard line on this. There's a difference between being messy (stuff lying around) and bugs. Roaches are FUCKING DISGUSTING. If you can see roaches, they're probably in a lot of places you haven't looked yet. You're staying in the spare bedroom of your boyfriend's place? It's gone beyond compromise.

I don't want to be the dutiful girlfriend swooping in to clean up and make everything okay when it's this far past... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mkultra at 8:44 AM on September 10, 2007

I would also point out that in the U.S. an employer never knows when a woman of child bearing age might just decide to get knocked up and force the family and medical leave act down his throat. Men are much less likely to pull this stunt. Believe me a manager of any gender will think of this if they interview a younger woman with a wedding, or even an engagement ring. "Do I want to train her, and then lose her when she decides to be a mommy?"
posted to MetaFilter by Megafly at 1:11 PM on May 18, 2007

This reminds me of a joke:


There's this mobster, and he's been dating these three Italian girls in the neighborhood. Well, one day the Don calls him in and says,"Look, it's not fair for you to lead this girls on like this. You have to choose one of them and then marry her."

The guy says, "But Godfather, I don't know which one I like the best!"

So the Don thinks a minute and says,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by battlecj at 12:58 PM on April 25, 2007

Thanks agregoli. As a good Englishman with a stiff upper lip, the last time I cried was when my dog died ten years ago. I shed a single tear.

I now realise it's not that I'm insensitive, it's that others are emotionally incontinent.
posted to MetaFilter by rhymer at 12:24 PM on March 14, 2007

Usually, if I want my boyfriend to do something but don't ask for it, I really just want him to be thinking about me and my needs. It probably is a function of ask vs. guess - I am constantly thinking, "What can I do right now to make my bf's life a little easier?" so when I get up to go to the kitchen, I'll ask if he wants a glass of water, or I'll plug his cell phone in if the battery is low, or if I have a spare minute I'll tune his guitar that he wants to use.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by muddgirl at 9:02 AM on February 14, 2007

The most romantic thing a boyfriend ever did for my birthday was to take the day off, put his laptop and cellphone in a filing cabinet, lock it and give me the key. That told me that he wanted to spend time with me (and he was a workaholic too, so it meant a lot!). It was a few years ago, and I can't remember the details of what we actually did that day, but that one simple act made me feel very very special.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by finding.perdita at 12:42 PM on February 7, 2007

I was living with and engaged to an artist. On a shirt she had done this sort of abstract, child-like drawing/painting of her former boyfriend with her in the background. I liked the piece and I actually wore the shirt quite a lot. She wore it too. This was during the tail end of that whole R.E.M., indie-music, jeans n' t-shirt era and the beginning of the whole Nirvana, jeans n' flannel shirt era, and neither of us had any problem walking around in something obviously homemade. In fact, it... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Clay201 at 7:09 AM on February 7, 2007

I think you should do nothing. Seriously, Molly-coddling the children won't teach them anything except that they have control over their parents/teachers. A little bit of scolding won't hurt anything but their feelings.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Gungho at 9:03 AM on September 25, 2006

In a perfect world, xteraco would end up with UN Owen.
posted to MetaTalk by drezdn at 5:48 PM on September 26, 2006

Haw Haw - Hey guys, this is the dirtiest story I've ever heard, it goes something like this - this family walks into a talent agent's office and the father says, "Boy, have I got the act you've been looking for..."
posted to MetaFilter by phirleh at 7:36 AM on September 24, 2006

Several of the replies have talked about unpleasant tastes and odors, but in a healthy woman, the taste and smell is typically very pleasant, and indeed arousing.

If God did not mean for man to eat pussy, he wouldn't have made it taste so good.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by megatherium at 4:54 AM on September 22, 2006

You ALWAYS want to date women who enjoy putting things in their mouth. ALWAYS.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Brandon Blatcher at 7:26 PM on September 21, 2006

posted to MetaFilter by prostyle at 8:06 AM on September 18, 2006

I would be annoyed by the taunting aspect. Its seems juvenile to wear the ring and put the stuff up on a wall and then refuse to divulge. Isn't that what's called passive-aggression? Isn't he saying that he needs to have a secret from you and he needs you to know it at the same time? Clearly, you are responsive to this form of manipulation.
posted by anglophiliated at 8:06 AM PST on September 10

This is what it comes down to. Those... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:15 AM on September 10, 2006