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MetaTalk post: Murrrrrrder?
I mean, not wanting children IS about the children themselves? "I don't like kids" is a very good reason not to have them! I think some people really feel that way, and that should be OK. In fact, I said upthread that I mostly like kids, but I do not in fact like babies. That is not a distortion of how I feel, I just actually don't like them, and it is not in fact hurting any babies because I am not kicking them off buses or disputing their right to public spaces.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by stillnocturnal at 4:20 PM on January 4, 2019
It's a natural response, but it's distorting in that it unwittingly accepts the unjust framing that this is all about children themselves. But it's not about children, it's about adults, particularly women, and the role they are pressured to play with respect to children. The children themselves are bystanders in this conflict.

This is kind of frustrating for me, and I'm having some difficulty expressing myself here, but... Sometimes it IS about the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by erratic meatsack at 4:25 PM on January 4, 2019
Ask MeFi post: How do I give and receive "vacuous" compliments graciously?
"Thank you so much! I'm so fortunate that the art I enjoy making also seems to strike a chord with other folks!"

"Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun with this one!"

"Thanks! It didn't turn out the way I expected, but I ended up liking where it decided to go!"

"Wow, thanks! I got to play with a new paint here and I really liked working with it!"

--... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Lou Stuells at 1:44 PM on April 23, 2011
Ask MeFi post: How do I take a compliment?
Have faith that the person complimenting you has some authority on the matter. If you trump their judgement with your condescension it won't matter what anyone says (as you know).

The compliment is about you and your work, sure, but it's also about that person's perception of your work, judgement of it, and then communication of said things. Acknowledging that someone else's opinion of you and your doings as a just assessment outside of your opinion of yourself can be... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by carsonb at 1:38 PM on December 27, 2011
MeFi post: Din dinner.
Just "No Children" by The Mountain Goats playing on endless repeat at 94dB in every Pottery Barn.
posted to MetaFilter by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:25 AM on November 29, 2018
I HOPE YOU DIE I HOPE WE BOTH DIE
posted to MetaFilter by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:28 AM on November 29, 2018
MeFi post: 45, a.k.a. Cheeto, a.k.a. the Manchurian Combover
I wish this had talked a little bit more about the fear of swatting and harassment that prompts people to censor GamerGate and similar. It's not the suspicion that bad stuff could happen if you say the name, but the understanding that bad things have happened to others.
posted to MetaFilter by bagel at 10:56 AM on October 22, 2018
MetaTalk post: Fucking Fuck XV
american women are going to literally eat each and every last republican at the chillest bbq dc has ever seen

here for this
posted to MetaTalk by soren_lorensen at 5:55 PM on September 21, 2018
All the women I know are on the fucking warpath right now. Like, it's been bad for a couple years, obviously, but right now nothing comes out but a string of expletives whenever I and the other women I know open our mouths. I'm pinging rapidly between anxiety, depression, and incandescent anger. Also I'm rapidly running out of spoons but I know this shit freight train ain't gonna stop.

Everything feels so terrible right now.
posted to MetaTalk by soren_lorensen at 4:40 PM on September 21, 2018
MeFi post: Boy
I didn't realize how much I was hoping for some kind of resolution at the end of that until I didn't get it.

I have a friend who has a brother kind of like this. She calls him a sociopath. But she uses the word "sociopath" as if it meant "a malevolent alien who lives among us and looks just like a human being." Like in "The Thing."

She speculates on whether people we both know are sociopaths. She talks about how... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by OnceUponATime at 3:14 AM on August 12, 2018
MeFi post: Continuation of a basic income project or cheaper beer?
Harris hobbled Toronto in the '90s and now Ford is going do his best to finish the city off, and all of this and more is going to come down on the heads of the non-wealthy citizens of this province because his base didn't like having a lesbian Premier.
posted to MetaFilter by The Card Cheat at 8:34 AM on August 7, 2018
He is also literally sending public school sex ed back to 1998 and gerrymandering Toronto's municipal government out of spite. I hate every Ford voter, especially those brigading the Toronto subreddit with endless Toronto Sun articles trafficking in Islamophobia and conspiracy theroy so, so much.
posted to MetaFilter by yellowbinder at 7:58 AM on August 7, 2018
Obviously, the market has been clamouring for this. Just look at all these great beers on sale for the previous minimum of ... good lord, 6 cans of Bud Light cost $14? You really do have a problem, Ontario.

No, we didn't - beer isn't a human right. Food, housing - these are human rights, and exactly what our government has ended for 4000 people in the basic income pilot program, in order to subsidize massive companies to get them to sell cheap(er) beer.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by jb at 7:29 AM on August 7, 2018
The populist model of politics that has been growing in Ontario and the rest of Canada is worrisome. I hate this timeline and I hate that these types of distraction politics are working so effectively. Pay attention to this other bullshit while I really destroy some more important bullshit over here. Vote for this one dumb thing while I destabilize and ruin this other thing that people depend on. We're all just sheep. Ugh.
posted to MetaFilter by Fizz at 7:09 AM on August 7, 2018
MeFi post: Good news, everyone!
I'm convinced that Twitter's management are fascist sympathizers.
posted to MetaFilter by Pope Guilty at 9:39 AM on August 6, 2018
MeFi post: U.S. DEPARTMENT of REPRODUCTIVE CONTROL
Good god, you people, don't scare me like that.
posted to MetaFilter by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 9:25 AM on August 1, 2018
MeFi post: Behemoth, bully, thief: the English language is taking over the planet
I'm not a linguist, but isn't Sapir-Whorf pretty well out of favor these days?

The "strong" intepretation of Sapir-Whorf has fallen out of favor. According to this interpretation, lacking the words for something means you also lack the concepts, and the ability to perceive the thing which the word is about. Examples are often drawn from ancient and indigineous peoples, for example hunter-gatherer societies which only have two words for colors,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dis_integration at 9:35 AM on July 31, 2018
I understand the concern about languages dying out but I don’t see that it’s necessarily the result of so many people speaking English.

It would be interesting to know which language is responsible for more violently enforced indigenous language death during colonization of the americas, english or spanish; I'm pretty sure it's spanish but I don't have the energy to grumpily research it today.
posted to MetaFilter by poffin boffin at 9:39 AM on July 31, 2018
If y'all are up for another looong read about language, the complications of English as a colonial language, and the act of translation, don't miss the Arundhati Roy essay posted just a few days ago, it's fascinating and great.
posted to MetaFilter by gwint at 8:02 AM on July 31, 2018
Definitely a factor, but the big one is that English characters have got a privileged position when it comes to how letters and numbers are encoded.

Oh yes. Linguistic and technological hegemony grows from the barrel of a gun like any other form of power. At first English spread because Britain was better than anybody else at building an empire, and then it spread in the digital realm because America's military industrial complex and federally funded... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by hyperbolic at 8:00 AM on July 31, 2018
MeFi post: It Only Makes Her Stronger
This feels like a key quote to at least partly understanding all this:
I know women who’ve been dismissed by their doctors for being lazy and careless and depressed and downright crazy. Was it any wonder that they would start to seek help from sources that assumed that their symptoms weren’t all in their head?

Patriarchy strikes again.
posted to MetaFilter by nnethercote at 8:01 PM on July 30, 2018
I could care less about Gwynneth Paltrow but I love Taffy Brodesser-Akner's writing.

I still had a bottle of Madame Dry Rose Water, which is “botanically infused, positively charged” water that is filtered through rose-quartz crystals, and a bottle of Lifewtr, which is just water without vowels.


This sentence should be taught in journalism schools for ever more.
posted to MetaFilter by Nelson at 2:39 PM on July 30, 2018
Did all of the armchair copy editors notice the repeated use of "something something" and think they were notes inadvertently left in from the draft stage? Comic devices, what are you?

It is a really delightful gem of contemporary gonzo journalism, but god forbid we recognize the craft of a woman writer.
posted to MetaFilter by muddgirl at 1:33 PM on July 30, 2018
Gwyneth Paltrow wouldn’t have a business model without systemic misogyny.

She sure as shit isn’t selling anything that helps with the systemic misogyny, though.
posted to MetaFilter by schadenfrau at 12:38 PM on July 30, 2018
MeFi post: "Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy"
From Vox: Wuthering Heights is a masterpiece of literary genius that is incredibly unpleasant to read.
Heathcliff and Cathy are both such manifestly awful people — he tortures puppies and beats women and children; she plays elaborate intergenerational mind games — that I want them together only so that they will stop inflicting themselves on their friends and relations out of sheer spite. If Heathcliff and Cathy had the common decency to get married in Volume 1 like they clearly... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dnash at 2:30 PM on July 30, 2018
MeFi post: Behemoth, bully, thief: the English language is taking over the planet
It's an even-handed article, and the proposed solution (for native English speakers to learn another language as a cognitive enrichment exercise and to expand their worldview) is not that radical.

Would you guys rather have a future where customs and immigration are called on the café staff because they dared to speak Spanish in public?
posted to MetaFilter by subdee at 6:53 AM on July 31, 2018
MetaTalk post: Request to admins to just have weekly or even daily resets of the megath
an upper ceiling on comments-per-post

My preference is to look at normal social methods for changing how these theads work, namely, people can just post them at a lower comment count than has been the case lately. Like cortex said, more in the 1000-1500 range is totally fine.

And I'll say again: people don't need to drive themselves nuts trying to make an all-inclusive megapost. That's not a site demand. It's a self- or... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by LobsterMitten at 3:43 PM on July 30, 2018
I wonder if a better way of dealing with this would be to impose a hard limit of 1000 comments per post. Once the limit is reached the post automatically closes and someone has to start a new one.
posted to MetaTalk by Lanark at 10:49 AM on July 29, 2018
MetaTalk post: Unexpected Kindnesses
> Frowner:
"on several occasions he actually signed up to help me"
Frowner, you're interesting and smart, probably he liked hanging out with you. I'll bet you listened to him. Maybe his life at home was bad, maybe he isn't straight and was terrified of being outed, maybe he had some other secret pain or loneliness. Some significant portion of the population has just a thin veneer of normalcy over some sort of hurt. Anyway, I'm glad... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by theora55 at 9:12 AM on July 25, 2018
After the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami, I was in shock. Like, my brain shut off and I just did shit that didn't make sense for awhile. I lived inland (still do) and had no idea about the tsunami yet, but the earthquake had been enormous and lasted forever. The power was down. I couldn't cross the streets because they were filled with cars. There were helicopters flying around.

It was March, but March is cold here. There was still snow on the ground here and there.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by sacchan at 5:05 AM on July 25, 2018
The day after the 2016 election, I was so depressed and anxious that I called in sick to work and my SO and I spent the day trying to distract ourselves. At the time, I lived about 20 minutes from the town/school district that I worked in. My vet was also in the same town as my work. I can’t remember why I took my dog in that day – I think he was supposed to get shots and an earlier appointment opened up? Anyway, we took him in and still had to wait an hour or so. When we walked out to my car... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by yeahyeahrealcute at 6:55 PM on July 24, 2018
When I was in first grade, my parents carpooled me to my private school with another family whose kids went there and who lived on the same block we did. They took us all to school in the morning, and my folks picked us all up in the evening. Since they lived so close, I would just walk over to their house after breakfast, and they would leave the front door unlocked for me.

This was all well before cell phones.

One morning, I was running really... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Rush-That-Speaks at 6:10 PM on July 24, 2018
When I flew to Indonesia, my plane was delayed leaving LA and I missed my connecting flight in Tokyo. The airport put me up in a hotel along with all the other people who were in the same situation. They ended up putting me in the same room as a Chinese-Indonesian woman who was very friendly. That night, I "met" her kids on Skype, we chatted a bunch, and she basically adopted me for the duration of my time in Indonesia. I was all set to poorly negotiate to overpay for a taxi leaving... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by ChuraChura at 7:47 PM on July 23, 2018
MeFi post: 12% of a plan
The Daily Dot has a good overview of Mike Cernovich's history, internet hate campaigns and PizzaGate: "Disney appeased the alt-right by firing James Gunn—here’s why that’s a big problem"
posted to MetaFilter by Umami Dearest at 8:14 PM on July 22, 2018
I'll believe that Disney wants Gunn to have standards when they fire Johnny Depp or Sarah Silverman.

But they don't because it's not about standards, it's about attention.
posted to MetaFilter by Definitely Not Sean Spicer at 7:20 PM on July 22, 2018
MeFi post: Oh, Brilliant!
I checked out of the Capaldi era pretty fast, not due to anything wrong with him but just because I was sick of Moffat. Definitely looking forward to a new era, and this trailer just steps that up more.
posted to MetaFilter by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:48 PM on July 19, 2018
If this trailer makes you start to feel a swell of nostalgic nerd-rage because THIS Doctor doesn't fit YOUR personal mental image of the Doctor, just remember: lots of planets have a North!
posted to MetaFilter by The Tensor at 1:32 PM on July 19, 2018
MeFi post: Mandela Day, 100 years, explained
Trevor Noah's impersonation game is top notch.
posted to MetaFilter by JHarris at 6:13 AM on July 19, 2018
MeFi post: The Igbo slave trade
SecretAgentSockPuppet, if you have the time, drop some links or accounts? I’m not on Twitter because it’s like trying to drink from a firehose, and I’m looking now, but if you know of good follows offhand I’d be grateful. Because holy shit that article.
posted to MetaFilter by schadenfrau at 7:09 AM on July 18, 2018
Ask MeFi post: Mental discipline - I want a list of backpocket things to think about
Best things for this will be stuff that brings your attention right back to the current place and present moment, yanking you back from the uncertain but doubtless horrible future or the excruciatingly embarrassing past. Counting how many different sounds I can hear right now, then trying hard to discern at least one more without deliberately making it myself, often works well for me.

But the real trick is not so much having a thing to focus on,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by flabdablet at 9:06 AM on July 14, 2018
Ask MeFi post: Pro-LDR Stories
Me and my guy have been together ten years and live 2.5 hours apart during the school year and 60-90 minutes apart during the summer. We are together maybe twice a month and most holidays when we can swing it. I live alone, he lives with his adult son who has some mental health challenges (reason #1 we don't live together) and walking distance from his sweet job that he loves (reason #2). I live in a nearby state that I love (reason #3) and I have a summer place in his state where we are more... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:01 PM on July 15, 2018 marked best answer
MeFi post: Legal to drink in several Canadian provinces
Only nineteen but my mind is older

_iiiii iiiii iiiii iiii_
{--------------}
|~~~~~~~~|
{__________}
posted to MetaFilter by LobsterMitten at 9:50 AM on July 14, 2018
MeFi post: nice squares
(Also I have an emotional need for types and don't know how people cope without them)

I knew this part was coming from "hard to stomach dealing with flaws" and I see it everywhere but find it totally foreign. Front-end is fun because it is a complex system that tries to let people do complex things they want instead of limiting them to unambiguous things a Computer Can Understand.

Making interactive pictures is fun... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by dame at 2:19 PM on July 11, 2018
MeFi post: Hey, hold my beer
My beer never lasts long enough to require a cozy.
posted to MetaFilter by dazed_one at 12:43 PM on July 10, 2018
MeFi post: Stop Asking Me If I ‘Saved Room’ for Dessert
I’m just sitting here reading this and thinking about how many of the things this person finds triggering or stressful are things restaurants deliberately do because they result in people ordering more/pricier food, and in higher customer throughput.
posted to MetaFilter by egypturnash at 6:20 PM on July 10, 2018
MeFi post: nice squares
ardgedee: I'm increasingly of the mindset that JavaScript was a mistake and that web browsers should do nothing more complicated than render static pages, and anything more complicated than that should be done on the server side. (Yes, yes, I know how PHP works. I've developed in it. Thank you.)

There is no good reason why any site that delivers a largely static experience, be it a blog post, or a photograph, needs to have a shitton of JavaScript frameworks. I was paid... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by SansPoint at 4:21 PM on July 10, 2018
The scorn for this (imo hilarious) quirk is akin to pointing to undefined behavior in C/C++ and screaming "this is why computers don't even EXIST" and then throwing your Tandy into a trash compactor. It's undefined behavior caused by some nonsensical values from an old and effectively-never-used CSS property that is supported purely out of backward compatibility. It's in facte awesome that this is making the rounds because nobody discovered it until now, and it demonstrates precisely... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by potch at 3:12 PM on July 10, 2018
Bring back the days when you could learn how to make a web site just by using "View Source" in the browser.
posted to MetaFilter by SansPoint at 1:59 PM on July 10, 2018
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