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Help me with my diffuse dysfunction

I have problems with the way I function and I don't really know where to start because part of it is just being overwhelmed. I wish I could take a medicine that would make me feel clear about life basics, capable of executing decisions, and free from anxiety.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mbrock at 12:16 AM on March 28, 2016 (22 comments)

Adult living question - cleaning edition

Me and baniak are moving into a really nice new apartment. With a SUPER nice new kitchen. How do we not let it turn into a greasy trash fire?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bibliogrrl at 1:40 PM on March 26, 2016 (23 comments)

Night owl? Embrace it and improve your health.

If you’re just not a morning person, science says you may never be. Morning people and night owls are born that way. It's time we accepted that. An "abnormal" circadian rhythm has been linked with ADHD, mental illnesses, and chronic disease. What if embracing your natural circadian rhythm is the real missing key to improved health?
posted to MetaFilter by chaos_theory at 12:08 PM on March 26, 2016 (93 comments)

Alex Trebek: (into mirror) Who is alex trebek

[ordering cake over phone]
"and what would you like the cake to say?"
[covers phone to ask wife]
"do we want a talking cake?" @KeetPotato

The 100 Funniest Jokes in the History of Twitter*
*according to GQ Magazine
posted to MetaFilter by Atom Eyes at 2:23 PM on March 24, 2016 (96 comments)

Shouldn't there be a statute of limitations on all Tom Green movies?

James Myers, Jr. of Concord, NC was arrested on Tuesday after police stopped him for a broken brake light and, upon running his license, were surprised to discover an outstanding arrest warrant for him. From 2002. For failing to return a rented VHS tape (VHS was a video storage format popular in the United States at one time). That tape? Tom Green's 2001 opus, Freddy Got Fingered. (Trailer)
posted to MetaFilter by Naberius at 12:14 PM on March 24, 2016 (99 comments)

What what

The butthole is one of the finest innovations in the past 
540 million years of animal evolution. Why watching comb jellies poop has stunned evolutionary biologists.
posted to MetaFilter by GuyZero at 10:22 AM on March 23, 2016 (103 comments)

How to feel more positive more often?

So this last year has been quite tough. And I find that often in the evenings all I want to do is sit at a computer and consume news/videos/blogs. Well, that's not quite true. Actually I'd rather be creating. But I can't find the energy to lift myself up and turn from consumer to creator. I'm just too tired.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by dance at 3:06 PM on March 23, 2016 (19 comments)

Kraft changes their mac and cheese; doesn't tell anybody

A new formula that removed artificial preservatives and swapped out artificial dyes for a combination of paprika, annatto and turmeric had been under development for three years. “We’ve sold well over 50 million boxes with essentially no one noticing,” said Greg Guidotti, vice president for meal solutions at Kraft Heinz. (SLNYT)
posted to MetaFilter by lauranesson at 8:59 AM on March 21, 2016 (168 comments)

"How audacious."

The British Film Institute has compiled a list of 30 best LGBT films of all time in celebration of the 30th anniversary of their Flare festival. BFI has placed Todd Haynes's Carol at the top spot, forcing Slate to ask, is it really the best LGBT film of all time?
posted to MetaFilter by sapagan at 1:36 PM on March 18, 2016 (83 comments)

Relationship mess. Is walking the only reasonable option?

I really don't know what to do. My partner keeps lying.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on March 14, 2016 (102 comments)

Emergency Help: Sleeping Music

I'm on a long-planned vacation with my mom and it's great but we are sharing a hotel room and have learned that she snores. I'm a bad sleeper under the best of circumstances. This is not great.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by something something at 10:32 PM on March 14, 2016 (21 comments)

What should a resume look like now? What do hiring managers look for?

Sadly, my job may be defunded by summer. I have not actually formally applied for a job in eleven years. How do I resume?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:20 AM on March 15, 2016 (22 comments)

How do I stop living with anger about being rejected?

How do I deal with the constant pang of rejection? Her image is in my head all day long, every day. It's been almost 2 months since the breakup. The breakup was for the best and I have been keeping myself really busy otherwise, reconnecting with myself. I am not contacting her.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by pixelsnbits at 3:18 PM on March 15, 2016 (26 comments)

How to avoid collapsing after work

Greetings, hive mind! I asked this question earlier and your advice was great.But after leaving at 7:15 am and getting home about 7:30 pm, all I want to do is collapse in front of the TV, eat junk food and drink a beer. Help!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Bella Donna at 9:07 PM on March 15, 2016 (20 comments)

Dorothy on Adolf

In 1931, journalist Dorothy Thompson interviewed Adolph Hitler, asking "Will Adolf Hitler come to power? And if he does--will it make any difference?" [PDF] and concluding that " If Hitler comes into power, he will smite only the weakest of his enemies. But perhaps the drummer boy has let loose forces stronger then he knows." Ten years later, after she became the first American journalist expelled from Nazi Germany and her prediction had proved rather spectacularly wrong, she asked "Who Goes Nazi?"
posted to MetaFilter by sallybrown at 1:53 PM on March 12, 2016 (54 comments)

Had Bernie been Bernadette

The heartbreaking truth about American patriarchy: I never spoke about the Democratic candidates because it was so hard for me to reconcile not that I preferred Bernie but that my heart was broken for this woman I do not yearn to vote for. My heart was broken because even if we play by all the rules the boys set up, the boys demonize us for playing by the rules. Even if we fight for decades to have a spot, ultimately everybody decides, “Nah, thanks anyway, we’re going with the old white guy again.”
posted to MetaFilter by suddenly, and without warning, at 6:58 PM on March 12, 2016 (376 comments)

Hello, Cleveland! Rock 'n Roll!

For a number of us, a contested convention is a completely foreign concept, given that the last one occurred over twenty years ago. So Slate has provided an extremely detailed guide to the history of contested conventions and the absolute clusterfuck that a contested GOP convention might turn out to be.
posted to MetaFilter by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 4:21 AM on March 11, 2016 (130 comments)

Check My Math Please!

I need this for a work report, so I want to make sure I am doing this right. Could someone please verify or correct me, please? I have two percentages and I need to figure out what percentage of change has taken place. 64.24% has changed to 74.24% So, I think I need to do this: 74.24 - 64.24 \ 64.24 = 15.6% improvement or 74.24 - 64.24 \ 74.24 = 13.5% decrease
posted to Ask MetaFilter by LilithSilver at 8:55 AM on March 11, 2016 (9 comments)

Alternatives to FlyLady

Do you know of anything that's like FlyLady but isn't FlyLady? As in, an app/service/website that gives you a daily schedule of cleaning and neatening your habitat so that you take baby steps from having a messy apartment to one that's hopefully less so?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Busoni at 5:02 AM on March 9, 2016 (8 comments)

Career changes for a data analyst?

I've been doing data analysis for about 8 years, and I feel stuck. Where to next?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Claubert at 12:50 PM on March 9, 2016 (13 comments)

What the hell is going on with my scalp?

For the past 6 months, I've been in an on/off battle with my scalp - mostly the crown and a bit towards the back. It itches badly when I break a sweat (I workout daily), and then produces flakes in rough patches. The flakes build up (and re-build) incredibly fast - like overnight, in patches that are thick and dry. I've tried all the OTC products (T-Gel, T-Sal, Nizoral, Dermarest, Tea Tree shampoo, etc) - and they offer some temporary relief - but the flakes, patches, and sweat-itchiness continues. Please help!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:48 AM on March 10, 2016 (22 comments)

I would like to not be the Pillsbury Doughgirl.

Helpful folk of Metafilter: I (mid 30s, F, doughy) would like to make use of my gym time to get stronger. The amount of information on the internet is overwhelming. Please help me find an app or a routine or something so that once my frontal cortex gets me TO the gym it can zone out while I get muscles.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by telepanda at 11:16 AM on March 10, 2016 (20 comments)

"but it coordinates even better with deindustrialization and despair"

Thomas Frank, perhaps most notable for using his home state of Kansas as a case study for the transformation of the United States by the Republican Party's embrace of the Southern strategy and the Reagan revolution, now draws out the difference between the treatment of Trump's appeal by the mainstream press versus what Trump seems to emphasize in his speeches.

Millions of ordinary Americans support Donald Trump. Here's why (SLGrauniad)

posted to MetaFilter by one weird trick at 5:04 AM on March 10, 2016 (267 comments)

In Search of Soy Free Soylent Substitutes

I am having a hard time getting enough calories and nutrients in my body each day. Part of the issue involves inconsistent access to food due to family stuff; the rest involves a loss of appetite as I progress through treatment for bipolar II. I'd love to be able to keep something in my room that can help me stop going to sleep hungry, but I need it to be soy, walnut, and coconut free. What might be a good interim solution as I work back towards eating proper meals every day?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Hermione Granger at 1:03 PM on March 7, 2016 (16 comments)

Farewell to my face

If you’re expecting me to end this essay on an uplifting note—“I’ve come to appreciate my inevitably middle-aged face, which shows proof of hard-won wisdom and a well-lived life”—you can forget it. I will never not blanch at photographs showing the accents grave and aigu on either side of my nose, not to mention my multi-circumflexed forehead. That’s decrepitude, not character.
Nell Beram: I’m Middle-aged and I Look It — But Don’t Ask Me to Like It
posted to MetaFilter by The Gooch at 7:48 AM on March 7, 2016 (133 comments)

She wanted to do her research; he wanted to talk feelings.

Sexual harassment in science generally starts like this: A woman (she is a student, a technician, a professor) gets an email and notices that the subject line is a bit off: “I need to tell you,” or “my feelings.” The opening lines refer to the altered physical and mental state of the author: “It’s late and I can’t sleep” is a favorite, though “Maybe it’s the three glasses of cognac” is popular as well.
posted to MetaFilter by sciatrix at 12:09 PM on March 7, 2016 (171 comments)

Six candidates, eight days, eleven states: Election 2016 continues

It's another day of multi-state voting in the live version of House of Cards otherwise known as Election 2016. On the Republican side, four candidates remain: Rafael Edward Cruz, John Richard Kasich, Marco Antonio Rubio, and Donald John Trump. On the Democrat side, Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton and Bernard Sanders continue their fight. As the math becomes clearer, and with several months still to go before potentially feisty party conventions, the odds [Oddschecker] [PredictWise] remain on both Clinton and Trump as the favorites to win their respective nominations. More on today's voting from ABC, Fortune and USA Today, while on the horizon, in-person voting begins in Florida...
posted to MetaFilter by Wordshore at 2:09 AM on March 5, 2016 (2551 comments)

“To begin with I was hoping it was just a phase.”

What should we do about paedophiles? by Sophie Elmhirst [The Guardian] They have committed unspeakable crimes that demand harsh punishment. But most will eventually be set free. Are we prepared to support efforts to rehabilitate them?
posted to MetaFilter by Fizz at 1:13 PM on March 2, 2016 (37 comments)

How non-compete agreements can work against you

"That Seemingly Harmless Paper You Signed When You Were Hired Can Bite You in the Ass"

Stephanie Russell-Kraft talks about her experience with a non-compete agreement:
Legal experts have spent far too much time debating the enforceability of non-compete contracts, a line of questioning that inherently favors employers because it places the burden on individual employees to challenge their bosses in court. Jonathan Pollard estimates that only about 10-15 percent of the agreements he comes across in his practice are enforceable. But that doesn’t stop the rest from causing damage.

posted to MetaFilter by jazzbaby at 8:34 AM on March 2, 2016 (60 comments)

You grew up in the 80s/90s. You watched movies. Some of them were good!

I'm looking for '80s/'90s young adult type movies that you've seen and would recommend. Nothing too childish or overly sappy, please.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by atinna at 1:15 PM on March 1, 2016 (73 comments)

Exiled to the 'Man Chair'

Men that went shopping.
posted to MetaFilter by BuddhaInABucket at 9:29 AM on March 1, 2016 (190 comments)

Sex Toy Question Time!!!!

Hi, I'm a genderqueer person with a vagina who wants a new harness-compatible dildo (flared base). I'm not really convinced silicone is that great, though? NSFW probably.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Juliet Banana at 9:31 AM on March 1, 2016 (11 comments)

Super Tuesday: it's going to be huge

The March 1st round of voting in US primaries and caucuses is today. Since 1988, no candidate has won his party’s nomination without winning Super Tuesday. With early voting and absentee voting already happening, the people of Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont and Virginia will turn out for both Republicans and Democrats. Republicans in Alaska will hold caucuses, as will Democrats in Colorado. Democrats in American Samoa also nominate. On the Republican side, with 661 delegates to be allocated today, Donald Trump currently holds the delegate lead. On the Democrat side, with 865 delegates to be delegated today, Hillary Clinton currently holds the delegate lead. (A more visual delegate tracker) The actual POTUS election odds continue to make Hillary the favorite, from Donald with the rest at long odds. Politico has more information on today, as does the Wall Street Journal and 538. With variable weather for voters, Nate Silver being cautious about assumptions and Obama's surprise endorsement of Trump, it's all to play for.
posted to MetaFilter by Wordshore at 1:11 AM on March 1, 2016 (2708 comments)

“Is my Slack down or am I fired?”

The Deactivation of the American Worker with the creepiest GIF illustartions ever.
(semi-ironically, the same day this piece was published, The Awl announced its "current editors are departing and it is looking for a new editor(s)-in-chief." The editors' Slacks are still reportedly working, so it isn't too sudden.)
posted to MetaFilter by oneswellfoop at 1:49 PM on February 26, 2016 (123 comments)

"Batshit Crazy"

The GOP is freaking out about the ever-increasing likelihood of Trump as their nominee. The New York Times talks to GOP leaders and consultants, who talk of a Republican National Convention floor fight and an effort to save the rest of the party's candidates. And Lindsey Graham roasts the whole party.
posted to MetaFilter by lunasol at 10:31 PM on February 27, 2016 (683 comments)

Anaheim vs. Klanaheim

Yesterday, a Ku Klux Klan rally in Anaheim, CA left three people stabbed and over a dozen arrested. Unfortunately, Orange County is no stranger to white supremacist groups, though headlines like this aren't common. Photographer Heather Davini Boucher offers an up-close photographic account of the confrontation from start to finish.
posted to MetaFilter by scaryblackdeath at 9:29 AM on February 28, 2016 (190 comments)

Sweet Home Alabama - Where the minimum wage must be $7.25

Many cities have either thinking about or have been upping their minimum wages as their residents have struggled to keep up with the inflated cost of living that living near large urban centers. Birmingham, AL was the latest city to plan to up its minimum wage to $10.10 last week.

The Alabama state legislature immediately stripped away the ability for Alabama cities to set their own minimum wages.
posted to MetaFilter by Talez at 5:31 PM on February 28, 2016 (62 comments)

Damnnn Daniel

It started with Snapchat videos that got reposted to twitter 10 days ago. And then it went viral. Of course Daniel and Josh went on Ellen. But when you finally make it to the New York Times ("We Should Probably Have a Conversation About ‘Damn, Daniel’") the meme has probably run its course.
posted to MetaFilter by GuyZero at 2:50 PM on February 25, 2016 (46 comments)

"What interrupts that cycle?"

PBS newsmagazine Frontline devotes two hours to exploring the massive rise in the abuse of street opiates like heroin, how the United States started prescribing more and more legal opiates, and how programs like drug courts and diversion programs are being used to treat the problem in Seattle. Chasing Heroin. (slfl)
posted to MetaFilter by fireoyster at 9:06 PM on February 23, 2016 (40 comments)

The X-Positions

Every Episode of The X-Files, Ranked From Worst to Best, not including the recent FOX revival. Regardless of how those episodes would stand up in the list, David Duchovny would love to come back for more, while Gillian Anderson might prefer to play a Bond villain.
posted to MetaFilter by Artw at 9:03 PM on February 22, 2016 (66 comments)

We have a minority for every occasion.

Rent-A-Minority is a revolutionary new service designed for those oh-shit moments where you've realized your award show, corporate brochure, conference panel is entirely composed of white men.
posted to MetaFilter by Cool Papa Bell at 7:33 PM on February 21, 2016 (25 comments)

Would you like sex chat Y/N beep boop

Sex bots don't even have to be that good to do their job....Their sole purpose is to get the dater to want to chat more. And a pent-up dude online is the easiest mark. As acclaimed AI researcher Bruce Wilcox puts it, "Many people online want to talk about sex. With chat bots, they don't require a lot of convincing."--Rolling Stone on Online Dating's Sex Bot Con Job
posted to MetaFilter by MoonOrb at 8:56 PM on February 21, 2016 (38 comments)
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