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MeFi post: "A Discrimination Omnibus" in NC: LGBT rights, bathrooms, and more!
I assume that's a tactical move with regard to the lawsuit. Trans men being legally obligated to use the women's room pushes the 'men in the women's room' narrative right back in their faces.
posted to MetaFilter by rmd1023 at 11:04 AM on March 28, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Could I ask out a girl on ride-shares like lyft without sounding weird?
If a cab, Uber, Lyft, or any other livery driver, whatever asked me if I was single, or asked me out, I would report that driver as soon as I was out of the vehicle, and I would follow up with the company to make sure some action was taken.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by kellyblah at 8:14 AM on March 28, 2016
No, don't ask your lyft passengers out (or push them to make conversation.) They are there to get a ride. They're kind of a captive audience and it's unfair. A taxi driver flirted with me ONCE, years ago (I don't take cabs much), and I still shudder at the memory.

Also, please don't refer to women as "girls."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by needs more cowbell at 7:58 AM on March 28, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Is a "janitor" position worth to take if want to work in a company?
Janitors do not move up in a company, period, except to become head of janitorial services or maintenance. And, I would suspect that those positions might require some level of certification.

I'm surprised, though, that there would even be an in-house position for janitor, as most companies contract that work to an outside firm.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Thorzdad at 7:23 AM on March 26, 2016
MeFi post: The moving story behind America’s first penis transplant
(I will add that I have helped with researching and arranging bottom surgery. If you're someone who needs that information, me-mail me. But, yeah, not for public discussion.)
posted to MetaFilter by hoyland at 4:15 PM on March 25, 2016
Ask MeFi post: How to break down the pedestal you created?
I can offer help with the "I ate dinner here with X!"/imagery challenges...

After my 9-year marriage/11 year relationship ended, I made it a point to go back to each place we visited (restaurant, city, etc) on my own or with friends in order to "reclaim" that place back into my own story. It took a while but it helped knowing that my most recent memory of Chicago is me going to the Hancock tower and eating at Giordanos rather than us being at the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by kimberussell at 9:36 AM on March 25, 2016
MeFi post: Alex Trebek: (into mirror) Who is alex trebek
Some are pretty good, but most are just shit throwaway remarks.

Are you familiar with the premise of Twitter?
posted to MetaFilter by atoxyl at 5:02 PM on March 24, 2016
What no Greg Nog
posted to MetaFilter by DoctorFedora at 4:23 PM on March 24, 2016
MeFi post: Of Smoothies and (Internet News) Cycles
“Gwyneth Paltrow drinks $200 smoothies for breakfast” factoid actualy just statistical error. Gwyneth Paltrow drinks $10.52 smoothies for breakfast. Smoothies Georg, who lives in cave and drinks $10,000 smoothies, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
posted to MetaFilter by oulipian at 6:58 PM on March 24, 2016
MeFi post: Red Lake County, Minnesota
"What are those things? What are the things that you must have within three hours' commute?"

Presumably things like ethnic restaurants, 24-hour stores, Ubers, drag shows, and bars with 287 different craft brews on tap that people in their 20s who live in big cities believe are absolutely essential to life, and people in middle age who live in rural areas find frivolous.
posted to MetaFilter by kevinbelt at 9:17 AM on March 25, 2016
MeFi post: "A Discrimination Omnibus" in NC: LGBT rights, bathrooms, and more!
Yeah, bait-and-switch. The endgame of bathroom bills is to legalize discrimination. "We can't give you a job/education because we legally can't let you use the bathroom while you're here."
posted to MetaFilter by CBrachyrhynchos at 7:02 AM on March 24, 2016
The irony here is that North Carolina just made it legally mandatory for a bunch of burly guys with beards and tattoos* to use the Women's room.

I want to gently remind people that this is argument against bathroom laws is kind of problematic (though you totally see it from trans guys on social media). When push comes to shove, trans people are going to use whatever bathroom is least likely to get them hassled, regardless of what the law says, same as... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by hoyland at 4:27 AM on March 24, 2016
Seriously, this deserves a full-out riot. Signing this hateful piece of shit into law is beyond appalling.
posted to MetaFilter by schmod at 8:15 PM on March 23, 2016
The irony here is that North Carolina just made it legally mandatory for a bunch of burly guys with beards and tattoos* to use the Women's room.

Good job, assholes. You literally just accomplished the exact opposite of the thing you were trying to do.

* Beards and tattoos are awesome.
posted to MetaFilter by schmod at 8:23 PM on March 23, 2016
Ask MeFi post: He stopped talking to me abruptly and with no warning, now what?
I will note that just this morning, I texted a (platonic) friend of mine and he didn't get the text even though it was visible on my screen. We were having a casual conversation, he answered the question in a normal way when I re-sent it, and there's no reason he would say he didn't get it if he really did. This has happened to me a few times, including with my mother, especially when the texts are cross-platform.

I'm not saying that's what definitely happened, but agree... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by holborne at 11:26 AM on March 23, 2016
What jbenben said. It doesn't matter why. It only matters that he did. You know he isn't dead. If it were you and the worst imaginable thing happened wouldn't you reach out to him? "Hey, random relative had horrific accident and I have to go to a place in the world where I will have no access to communicate. I'll miss you and as soon as I get back I will let you know!" Or, if he himself had a horrific accident.... you have seen his social media accounts are... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by CoffeeHikeNapWine at 9:56 AM on March 23, 2016
MeFi post: "A Discrimination Omnibus" in NC: LGBT rights, bathrooms, and more!

How common is it for transgender individuals to use a restroom that does not match their gender presentation?

Worth knowing: It is not wildly uncommon for trans people to plan their workdays or travel around the location of safe bathrooms. One of my friends used to have to leave her building and go through the skyways to another building and take the elevators there if she wanted a place to pee. This was not because her office lacked bathrooms.

posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:45 PM on March 23, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Getting rid of a (bird) corpse?
If a possible dead roach is enough to make you afraid to open a door in your own home for a whole month, you might want to see about therapy. I say that not as a dig, but because your reaction is way outside the realm of typical and it's clearly negatively affecting your life.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by showbiz_liz at 4:24 PM on March 21, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Voting Anonymously
I am a poll worker in VT. Like WI we are an open primary state. Wisconsin does not register voters by party preference or affiliation. Which means when you register to vote you do not have to choose a party. The way you vote is absolutely private. However WI is an open primary state. So when you go to the polls and say "Give me a republican/democratic ballot" that information is public record (which is stupid, we have it in VT too but that is how it is). People who are sending you... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:24 AM on March 18, 2016
MeFi post: Greatest Living Americans Bracket
I did SO much better on this one than I did on the Daves. Also, a frisson of delight that it is an all-ladies bracket, and yet specifically goes without mentioning that fact.
posted to MetaFilter by redsparkler at 10:56 AM on March 17, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Pain in a, ah, sensitive place
Just a data point in case you aren't aware: one of the common side effects of opioid analgesics is constipation.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by googly at 7:11 PM on March 15, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Gaslighting or Alzheimer’s?
This isn't gaslighting you or dementia- it's just you way over-reacting to a misunderstanding.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by otherwordlyglow at 4:23 PM on March 13, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Help me stop my underwear from flipping out
This definitely varies between brands, although it doesn't always correlate with elastic width - I suspect it's more about the type or construction of the elastic.

Looking through my own underwear drawer, the first thing that occurs to me is that I should probably do laundry but the second is that, yeah, I've had the roll-over issue with Hanes, FotL, Reebok, some Jockey, but much less or not at all with Joe Boxer, Tommy Hilfiger (both wide elastic), Perry Ellis (actually... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by soundguy99 at 10:48 AM on March 13, 2016
Ask MeFi post: My elderly mom is a hoarder. What should I do?
To get to the "call 911 and have them taken to the hospital by the police" level, you really must believe that she is an imminent danger to herself or others (which usually means hurting or killing herself or others, or having hallucinations/psychosis). If this is the case, I would encourage you to do it - however, it sounds more the case that she is a danger to herself over time, but not imminently. In cases like this it is typically better to go the route of working with a primary... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by treehorn+bunny at 11:00 PM on March 12, 2016
MeFi post: woe is the millennial, bringer of slack and turpitude
Meanwhile, GenX remains completely ignored.

A bunch of Gen X friends and I were discussing the Grauniad article and the consensus was that this being New Big New News now is further proof no one pays attention to Gen X. Because this downward trend began in the 90s. Not a single person my age that I know has ever had any expectation that we'll ever be as prosperous as our parents. I saw the writing on that wall in 1998.
posted to MetaFilter by soren_lorensen at 6:23 AM on March 9, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Seattle 🚗 Boston: Where should we stop along the way?
The House on the Rock in Wisconsin is effing bizarre and unforgettable. It definitely ticks your box for off-the-beaten-path attractions, as well as natural splendour (the view from the Infinity Room). It's just an hour west of Madison, though you could probably cut south from the Wis Dells.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Beardman at 7:03 AM on March 8, 2016
Ask MeFi post: My boyfriend is not good-on-paper. Do such relationships ever work?
You know what you should do? Take all your pros and ask yourself, would his own son say the same about his father?

This 12 year old boy, could he say of his dad:

* He is very affectionate when we are together
* He has this huge beautiful soul
* when we are together, his attention is on me and he totally “gets me.”
* He always reminds me to dress warm so that I don’t get sick
* He worries
... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by yes I said yes I will Yes at 12:40 PM on March 7, 2016
So he has a bad relationship with literally every woman in his life, starting with his mother, and adding in his sister and ex. He is only close to his MALE sibling and his very probably MALE friends. He does not pay child support for his child he doesn't care much for. This guy has like 9/10 of the most classic abuser warnings it's possible to have.

Of course you feel bad for him- he wants you to! Abusers always, always play and act the victim. They like being a victim... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by quincunx at 11:06 PM on March 6, 2016
Our contraception is sketchy, to say the least, so there is a chance of it happening.

I'm sorry for being a little blunt here, but the way you're phrasing this makes it clear that you're in some kind of deliberately passive denial, so it would be useless to be more subtle. What, exactly, do you think you're doing? Contraception is serious business. The two of you are in your late thirties and neither of you can summon the maturity to make a joint... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by praemunire at 7:01 PM on March 6, 2016
MeFi post: #TrapCovers: inspired by acoustic covers of Beyonce's 'Formation'
I remember seeing this unfold on Twitter in real-time last week. One thing that might be a little hard to appreciate after the fact is how quickly people were making these and posting them. Like a huge portion were in that initial wave over the course of just a few hours. There was a second wave that came in the next morning, but I really liked the rawness and spontaneity of that first batch.

Here are a few I managed to bookmark that I don't think have been linked... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by mhum at 7:56 PM on February 29, 2016
MetaTalk post: Announcing More Color for the Classic Theme
You all are responsive and awesome.

But I'm staying professional white background™ for life.
posted to MetaTalk by Ufez Jones at 9:55 AM on March 4, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Sex Toy Question Time!!!!
Yes: the dog hair dildo. This is totally a thing, it's not just you.

Anyway, the Holistic Wisdom ones are in the same price bracket as the Chakrubs, are made of Pyrex, are body and dishwasher safe, and 5 varieties are specifically crafted for harnesses.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by DarlingBri at 10:49 AM on March 1, 2016 marked best answer
Ask MeFi post: Bleach and Alcohol
Should I be concerned about contamination?

No. Rinse the sink out with cold water and get on with your day. There's really nothing here.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by mhoye at 6:01 PM on February 29, 2016
MetaTalk post: Cultivating Community
Vote quidnunc kid!
posted to MetaTalk by carmicha at 1:14 PM on February 29, 2016
I like giving people compliments when I'm in the place to do it, so I would enjoy occasionally popping by "LoveMe" and saying nice things. Congratulations on your successful thing, whatever it is - good on you! You're a talented, smart, determined and funny person, and I admire you (or what I know of you)! Best of luck in the future, and my best wishes to your family as well. That is what I could say, and I would enjoy saying it to many of you. In fact, please accept those thoughts for... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by the quidnunc kid at 1:13 PM on February 29, 2016
MeFi post: "Batshit Crazy"
Interesting to see how this all plays out.

"Interesting" like a Chinese curse, maybe.
posted to MetaFilter by scaryblackdeath at 11:10 PM on February 27, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Inclusive language that works a little better than "non male"
I would please ask you to not used as "identifies as a woman" for your event. I'm non-binary. I experience a lot of the same marginalization that most women do. I feel really, really uncomfortable attending events that don't even mention being open to nonbinary people at all, and in the end it just means I don't have any place that feels safe. It's not like a five foot tall person with breasts automatically gets a seat in the boy's club when they start identifying as... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Juliet Banana at 12:38 PM on February 27, 2016
I'm not sure you can get something other than "non-male" without it getting complicated and confusing. Is there a reason that non-male is unacceptable?

It would be unacceptable to transgender men. You're saying they're not really men. And that implies that you don't think transgender people are real.

Language almost always has some kind of context. What do you want to do with this word? What's your goal?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by John Cohen at 10:59 PM on February 26, 2016
Ask MeFi post: Three-year-old seems really unhappy
A lot of this sounds like a gifted, intensely feeling, observing, and seeing child who is not getting their needs be met, but also doesn't know yet how to articulate how to get their needs be met, especially when the usual structured environments don't usually teach a holistic view for how to have kids vocalize their needs. Reminds me a lot of my childhood and of other people I grew up with, who had lots of frustration with the structured environments around them, and didn't see very much good... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by yueliang at 9:50 PM on February 26, 2016 marked best answer
MeFi post: "Debt collectors are like me and you"
cjorgensen: The script goes a little something like this...

Me: Who are you trying to call?
them: randomname
Me: I do not know that person. Please give me the legal name, tax ID, and mailing address of the company you work for.
them: blah blah blah
Me: Remove this number from your database. I have received #NUMBER of calls from this telephone number attempting to collect a debt from a person I do not have any
... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Freen at 6:37 PM on February 23, 2016
Ask MeFi post: What is the plot of Lost, like what happened
A plane crashes on a conveniently hot island so people are always sweaty and bare-shouldered and stuff. The island has a ton of MYSTERIES, chiefly that somehow all the women still have access to razors for their armpits
posted to Ask MetaFilter by superfluousm at 9:47 AM on February 23, 2016
FanFare post: The X-Files: Season 10 Postmortem Thread
I will make one small observation in favor of this current run - Gillian Anderson seems like she's been having a lot of fun revisiting things. Her Twitter feed is full of all sorts of shout-outs to Duchovny and Joel McHale and other folks involved, and she's also had a good laugh over some of the old press photos and other things from the old series (in this tweet, she assembled a series of pictures of Scully in different pantsuits and called it "A rainbow of 'what were we thinking'!")... [more]
posted to FanFare by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 AM on February 23, 2016
MeFi post: The X-Positions
If Spectre turns out to be Craig's last Bond film, it would be a pretty wild reboot to make Idris Elba the next Bond, with Anderson as the baddie.
posted to MetaFilter by a lungful of dragon at 10:44 PM on February 22, 2016
Amusingly deliberate timing, Art, since that just-aired season ender SUCKED.
posted to MetaFilter by mwhybark at 9:16 PM on February 22, 2016
FanFare post: The X-Files: My Struggle II
"Insert tech babble here" works for Star Trek because its about stuff that is supposedly beyond us.

"INSERT TECH BABBLE HERE" DOES NOT WORK FOR STUFF WE ALFEADY KNOW A LOT ABOUT, LIKE GENETICS.

Congrats, Chris. Islamaphobia, anti-vax. You are NEVER GETTING A FOLLOW UP TO THAT STUPID FUCKING ENDING I WILL STOP YOU
posted to FanFare by charred husk at 9:09 PM on February 22, 2016
It's not too late for him to just come clean, call a press conference, say, "Look, I've got to be honest with myself, and the fans. I don't know how to end this fucking thing. I've had like 15 years to think about it, but I've still got nothing. How 'bout that William B. Davis though, right?"
posted to FanFare by wabbittwax at 9:00 PM on February 22, 2016
MetaTalk post: This thread is the worst
I was just brought up to suspect everyone of being a scammer when they ask for money. Especially on the internet.
posted to MetaTalk by colie at 6:52 AM on February 22, 2016
MeFi post: "I can't afford to buy groceries..."
She tweeted about not just buying whiskey but having whiskey delivered to her office a week before she was canned. It's not that I think she doesn't deserve cupcakes or whiskey or a living wage. It's that I think her story isn't true, and she has made stupid decisions. Again, you can think that a company being shitty is wrong AND think that this person is irresponsible. Sorry it's so hard for some of you to hold two ideas in your head at the same time.
posted to MetaFilter by to sir with millipedes at 1:54 PM on February 22, 2016
It's weird that people are saying that the folks who are unsympathetic to Jane specifically have no empathy for people who are underpaid, especially by companies that can likely afford to pay better.

It's not hard to simultaneously hold the belief that a. wages are too low and this is a central injustice of the capitalist system, b. Jane made bad decisions with no blinders on that led to the situation that she was in.

Yelp customer service does... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by to sir with millipedes at 3:33 AM on February 22, 2016
Two or more employees can go to their employer, ask for more pay, and cannot be fired as retaliation. That is not the same as an individual calling her employer greedy etc. online

This is a quickly developing area of labor law, but the NLRB has recently been supporting the idea that workers have the right to criticize the terms and conditions of their employment online. One of the more extreme examples has been Pier Sixty, LLC, where writing that a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by zachlipton at 12:50 AM on February 22, 2016
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