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Ask MeFi post: Hey Mrs. Robinson!
People who are considering getting married should always consider a set of major issues that could have implications for the marriage, which would have to include kids along with money, careers, and religions (if applicable). People should not decide to get married unless they first check to see that they're on the same page with these life-changing issues. Unless you're planning on doing the traditional/stereotypical... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jejune at 12:57 PM on April 3, 2008 marked best answer
My wife and I got married when I was 27 and she was 37. 9 ½ years apart (don’t say 10!) and 10 1/2 years into our marriage things are going super. We had a kid when she was 42. He came out with 10 fingers and 10 toes, perfect all over, but we still decided to quit while we were ahead. We came pretty close to not having kids, since we were pretty content in the two-income, do whatever we want whenever we want life, but we eventually decided we wanted one. Now we can’t fathom life without The... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bondcliff at 12:40 PM on April 3, 2008 marked best answer
My boyfriend and I are in the same age bracket as you & your fiancee, which is what prompted me to reply. Our situation: no rush to marry, living 'day-to-day' approaching 3 years together and still quite enamored of each other.
However, he understands I would rather not have children -- much less can we afford any --and my age is approaching that time when it'll be pretty much impossible.
We're both young at heart and practically broke; yet, you must have a good... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by skyper at 12:40 PM on April 3, 2008 marked best answer
Ask MeFi post: Xbox Controller Filter
Halo over Live works pretty well. One recommendation I'd make is that if you don't have open NAT when you go to connection settings, open up the ports in your router...it'll make matchmaking a lot easier. You'll want to open UDP ports 88 and 3074 and TCP port 3074.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by phaded at 12:41 AM on January 18, 2008
Ask MeFi post: Do I have the girl I really want?
What would be the rational thing to do here? And why am I having feelings of covetousness for what I'm about to do for this buddy of mine?

Stay with your girlfriend, and try to be happy for your buddy's good fortune. You're going to meet women that you are attracted to, and obviously you aren't going to be able to start relationships with all of them. You're feeling conflicted because you would like to be in his position, but for various reasons... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by burnmp3s at 9:04 AM on January 4, 2008
For those who know about the alcoholic mind: would this thinking have anything to do with my spritual sickness?

One thing I find in the drama of addiction is a closed, self-reinforcing loop of desire, satiation, remorse, and relapse. I want the drink or the smoke, I have it, I feel bad about it, then I do it again.

Your hankerings for other women, especially this woman in the other department, sound a little like the first... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ottereroticist at 9:58 AM on January 4, 2008
Ask MeFi post: Help me get an uninsured hit and runner
Report him to the Uninsured Motorist division of your state's Motor Vehicles Administration. They will make sure his vehicle's tags are seized and his license flagged. Anyone else's car he drives will be liable under their own insurance. You cannot keep him from driving illegally (obviously!), but you can bring him to the authorities attention.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Fferret at 10:29 AM on October 17, 2007
Ask MeFi post: How to do business?
I think not concentrating on just one thing right away, when starting over in business, is key. You've really got to do, in the first year, a number of things, all with the right balance, to get back in the game:

Margins make a difference. For some kinds of businesses, within reason, putting your customers through an ABC or pareto analysis, at least semi-annually, or better, quarterly, is key. It's eye opening to discover how... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by paulsc at 10:18 PM on October 10, 2007
1. Cash flow problems are corrected by generating more sales/revenue, not by borrowing to cover cash flow problems. Plan accordingly. It's taking years to dig out from this mistake.

2. Have short meetings/conversations with your crew regularly and keep everyone on track. zenpop is right, it's easy to wander off track.

3. Watch the money. See how it flows through your business to your pocket, and understand that process.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by disclaimer at 7:33 PM on October 10, 2007
Ask MeFi post: I cheated on my girlfriend, should I tell her?
I'm with zaelic and languagehat. Go read the recent question about people working for the CIA if you're not clear on the feasibility on living your life with parts of your self that you don't share with others.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Triode at 5:14 PM on October 16, 2005
Sometimes, it's easy to avoid doing what's necessary by professing concern for other people's well-being or happiness. Pain is part of life, it's a feeling, it's part of human relationships. It cannot be avoided, but dishonesty can be. I think being honest is better than not.

Also, your self-abuse is puzzling; you say you know you're a jerk, that you knew what you were doing was wrong, and so on, so why did you do it? Honestly, if this woman meant so much to you and... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by clockzero at 3:28 PM on October 16, 2005
I agree with zaelic: this is normal human behavior, we're not perfect, and if you're serious about "I would never do this again" then go ahead with the relationship (which may die a natural death for other reasons eventually) and let your guilt serve to warn you against further failings. I've been there, done that, learned the lesson. I think the truthtelling faction here is vastly overstating the possibility of living a perfect life.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by languagehat at 3:16 PM on October 16, 2005
The other thread isn't applicable because you're not married to this woman and you haven't built a life with her. In the other thread I recommended not telling, to you I recommend telling. This isn't about the "unbearable" pain of "living a lie." That's bullshit. The simple truth is, at this point, telling her would be the best thing for her. It's completely unfair to try and build a long-term relationship with this woman while holding back such important secrets. If you... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by nixerman at 1:36 PM on October 16, 2005
Don't tell her. Break up with her and figure out what you really want from life.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by bigbigdog at 1:15 PM on October 16, 2005
Aside from the fact that you did something that you already knew had hurt this girl in the past, you've been with her a matter of weeks.

If you can do one of the things that you're sure will hurt her most, within weeks of being with her, do you really think this will last?

You owe it to her to get at least yourself tested for STDs. If you come up positive, it's over. You tell her everything, and just hope the experience leaves you a better... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Saydur at 10:50 AM on October 16, 2005
If you were in a longterm, stable, relationship and were sure that this was a one-time screwup, then I would say don't tell because the costs and the benefits don't add up. But I agree with stavx that the problem here is your impulsivity with both women. You need to slow down, now, before you hurt someone else (and yourself). I'd advise breaking up with the girlfriend -- and I think there's a good case to be made for telling the truth, because that way she'll be less confused about what's... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by footnote at 10:37 AM on October 16, 2005
I would never do this again. But I know that those words would likely be meaningless to her (like me, her ex- had cheated on her.)

I think that you need to look at why you cheated on her. If, as you say, you know that this would really hurt her, and did it anyway - as a matter of fact, you had plenty of time to prevent it from happening since your ex had some travel time - then you need to really examine what's going on in your head. I... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by ashbury at 6:42 AM on October 16, 2005
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