November 14, 2001

8:40 PM

"A Spear Avenue resident reported a male-type human in his backyard performing the specialty of the breed - stumbling around and cursing. The interloper without portfolio wandered off in a random direction." This quote and more can be found in the Arcata Eye police blotter. (From Cruel.com; also mentioned in a comment in an older thread.)
posted by moz (19 comments total)

This is brilliant. What exactly is the story behind this? The fire log looks more normal, except the links in the index.
posted by edlundart at 9:22 PM on November 14, 2001

Aw, geez. I thought *everybody* knew about the Arcata Eye Police Log or I'd have posted it here ages ago. Don't miss 07-10-01: "Free-range solipsists in hootful maelstrom." Somebody ought to write that song. Thanks, moz, for making me feel more normal than usual this evening.
posted by realjanetkagan at 9:35 PM on November 14, 2001

unbeLIEVably insane! what kind of a paper is the Arcata Eye? Is it like the daily paper or is a free newsweekly or what?? Kevin L. Hoover is my new hero- I don't know when I have seen such an excellent interpretation and relaying of life's complete fucking absurdity.
posted by babydoll at 10:09 PM on November 14, 2001

wow. super duper cool.
posted by mcsweetie at 10:15 PM on November 14, 2001

Brilliant. I like the way he's anchored in the community, supported by local advertising, and yet doesn't compromise his relentless humour. I wonder what it'd be like to read his stuff while actually gazing on Main Street...even better, most probably.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 10:50 PM on November 14, 2001

I think the Eye is the main daily in Arcata (which is a little hippie town on the coast, not too far from the Oregon border).
posted by sylloge at 11:07 PM on November 14, 2001

The Eye is the town's weekly newspaper. There is no daily (difficult for a town with only 2 stop lights). This is a place where a Muslim addresses Jews at a Yom Kippur service taking place at an Episcopal Church.
posted by fleener at 11:36 PM on November 14, 2001

check out the classified ads!

LOST CHICKEN KEYS LOST 10/7 Set of keys and electric car door opener attached to rubber chicken. C/o Terrence (826-7535). tfn

posted by mcsweetie at 11:53 PM on November 14, 2001

Wow. That very nearly restores my faith in...well, in a lot of things, actually.
posted by jeffvc at 12:46 AM on November 15, 2001

We are talking HUMBOLDT COUNTY here folks...nuff said?
posted by Mack Twain at 12:48 AM on November 15, 2001

Wow... I'm bookmarking this now, because I'm afraid that I'm only dreaming it, and it won't be here when I come back tommorow.
posted by moss at 1:39 AM on November 15, 2001

...and they have t-shirts. At last, a Christmas present the entire family can enjoy.
posted by jeffvc at 2:16 AM on November 15, 2001

My local newspaper's log once noted a woman who called the police to report a buzzing in the vicinity of her dresser drawer. Authorities arrived to find a "marital aid" that had been switched on. That was the Police Log Gold Standard for me until I saw this. Thanks Moz!!!!
posted by luser at 4:50 AM on November 15, 2001

I'm going to be working "Quick, somebody invent a clue bong" into my everyday conversation from here on out.
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:23 AM on November 15, 2001

Don't miss the Arcata gawkers who come out to watch buildings burn down.
posted by fleener at 7:16 AM on November 15, 2001

yay! the Eye is my hometown paper - it's nice to see it getting some exposure. kevin hoover, editor of the eye, is a pretty funny guy (and a darn good drummer too).
posted by modge at 9:52 AM on November 15, 2001

fleener: even better is the band that comes out to play when there's a fire.
posted by LeLiLo at 5:47 PM on November 16, 2001

oh, modge, I [heart] you and your hometown paper. Please tell Kevin Hoover he's helped keep me sane (such as that is) for some six months now. If I ever get a vacation again, I'm coming to Arcata---where I hope to vacation myself right into the police log ;).
posted by realjanetkagan at 9:16 PM on November 16, 2001

humboldt state university's weekly paper, the lumberjack, also has a campus police log, which features the always popular Bong Tally (go to Campus, then UPD Clips):

"this week: 1, this semester: 11"...!
posted by modge at 12:56 PM on November 19, 2001