There's No Place On Earth To Hide!
February 18, 2013 12:32 AM Subscribe
What happens when a comet collides with a major asteroid in our Solar System's main belt sending a 5-mile wide splinter on a direct path to Earth? Factually, we might never know. Till then, there's Meteor!
1979 movie-magazine-pinball game starring Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden, Brian Keith, Martin Landau, Joseph Campanella, and Henry Fonda (with Natalie Wood and Brian Keith in Russian speaking roles). Panned in its day, it has gone on to achieve additional contemporary derision. Not scored by John Williams. Inspired by a homework assignment and generally thought to be a major contributing cause for the failure of American International Pictures.
1979 movie-magazine-pinball game starring Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden, Brian Keith, Martin Landau, Joseph Campanella, and Henry Fonda (with Natalie Wood and Brian Keith in Russian speaking roles). Panned in its day, it has gone on to achieve additional contemporary derision. Not scored by John Williams. Inspired by a homework assignment and generally thought to be a major contributing cause for the failure of American International Pictures.
In furtherance of my theory that everything that’s ever going to happen has already happened on The West Wing, and that Aaron Sorkin might have actually created the world in seven seasons? I take you to season 6 episode 9.
“Leo tells me there is an asteroid coming to hit the Earth. Maybe we should sit quietly and ponder that.”
“If it hit’s here in the Pacific? We’ve got a tsunami. Takes out 70, maybe 80% of California and the Pacific Northwest. Hitting dry land obliterating a city is frankly the optimal scenario. At least the damage is contained.”
The real nightmare scenario is here, the great forest of the North."
"Russia?"
"4.3 million square miles of dense forest. The asteroid hits here, a shower of burning rock rains down on those woods, starts a fire that burns and enshrouds the hemisphere in a blanket of soot and ash that blocks out the sun for weeks.
Impact winter they call it.”
posted by timsteil at 12:55 AM on February 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
“Leo tells me there is an asteroid coming to hit the Earth. Maybe we should sit quietly and ponder that.”
“If it hit’s here in the Pacific? We’ve got a tsunami. Takes out 70, maybe 80% of California and the Pacific Northwest. Hitting dry land obliterating a city is frankly the optimal scenario. At least the damage is contained.”
The real nightmare scenario is here, the great forest of the North."
"Russia?"
"4.3 million square miles of dense forest. The asteroid hits here, a shower of burning rock rains down on those woods, starts a fire that burns and enshrouds the hemisphere in a blanket of soot and ash that blocks out the sun for weeks.
Impact winter they call it.”
posted by timsteil at 12:55 AM on February 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
SKI JEAN CLAUDE KILLY SKIIIII!!!! aww i dont think he made it
posted by not_on_display at 1:19 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by not_on_display at 1:19 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Amazing how many scenes in that movie have been outdone by reality.
Sean Connery's toupee for example.
posted by three blind mice at 1:58 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Sean Connery's toupee for example.
posted by three blind mice at 1:58 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I like the bit where Connery says "Why am I here?" I bet he did, too.
posted by Decani at 3:03 AM on February 18, 2013
posted by Decani at 3:03 AM on February 18, 2013
This is pretty much it. Uni-cellular beings evolved over time. Prokaryotes pulled energy inward. Eventually the abundance of energy due to localization spilled excess energy into nearby loops, forcing Eukaryotes. The extra loops eventually translate into consciousness... the "I" we are now discussing. The planetary substrate is ephemeral.
In some parts of the Universe the same process has produced beings who can respond to the threat of dumb rocks killing everybody on the planet, but I don't think this planet is ready for that.
I'm not confident that this planet will have intelligent life in a thousand years.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:38 AM on February 18, 2013
In some parts of the Universe the same process has produced beings who can respond to the threat of dumb rocks killing everybody on the planet, but I don't think this planet is ready for that.
I'm not confident that this planet will have intelligent life in a thousand years.
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:38 AM on February 18, 2013
Look, Sorkin totally missed the whole "Pope quits" plotline, not to mention "cyborg athlete shoots model girlfriend".
He may have gotten the "cop-killer cop burns to death in cabin" thing though; I'm no expert.
I feel like I've left something out here.
posted by mwhybark at 3:55 AM on February 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
He may have gotten the "cop-killer cop burns to death in cabin" thing though; I'm no expert.
I feel like I've left something out here.
posted by mwhybark at 3:55 AM on February 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Not scored by John Williams.
At least it had that going for it.
posted by Herodios at 4:00 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
At least it had that going for it.
posted by Herodios at 4:00 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm not confident that this planet will have intelligent life in a thousand years.
I'm not that confident it has now, apart from the dolphins, of course.
posted by fistynuts at 4:50 AM on February 18, 2013
I'm not that confident it has now, apart from the dolphins, of course.
posted by fistynuts at 4:50 AM on February 18, 2013
Pth, dolphins. Show me ONE whose VCR doesn't still blink 12:00.
posted by davelog at 4:51 AM on February 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by davelog at 4:51 AM on February 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
Panned in its day, it has gone on to achieve additional contemporary derision.
I'm going to be stealing this line. Maybe before the end of the week.
posted by planetkyoto at 5:14 AM on February 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'm going to be stealing this line. Maybe before the end of the week.
posted by planetkyoto at 5:14 AM on February 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I have to admit I like the crap-movie celebrating we seem to be doing as of late (first Foodfight and now this).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:21 AM on February 18, 2013
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:21 AM on February 18, 2013
The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.
posted by Damienmce at 6:11 AM on February 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Damienmce at 6:11 AM on February 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
"Why don't you stick a broom up my ass. I can sweep the carpet on the way out!"
Classic Connery.
posted by hanoixan at 7:18 AM on February 18, 2013
Classic Connery.
posted by hanoixan at 7:18 AM on February 18, 2013
I'm not confident that this planet will have intelligent life in a thousand years.
For me, 50 years seems a bit optimistic.
posted by y2karl at 7:57 AM on February 18, 2013
For me, 50 years seems a bit optimistic.
posted by y2karl at 7:57 AM on February 18, 2013
I feel like I've left something out here.
You forgot the (Stephen King's) Shit Weasels.
posted by mule98J at 9:40 AM on February 18, 2013
You forgot the (Stephen King's) Shit Weasels.
posted by mule98J at 9:40 AM on February 18, 2013
What happens when a comet hits Jupiter.
Here's some video. And some more video.
Actually, here's something that happened last year.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:25 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Here's some video. And some more video.
Actually, here's something that happened last year.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:25 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I was 9 years old when this came out and desperately wanted to see it but couldn't talk my parents into taking me to the theater.
For you Gen-Y types, this was in the dark pre-Internet, pre-VHS, pre-cable (for me anyhow) days. So if you didn't catch a movie in the theater, well, you werent gonna see it.
Not that I missed much! 33 years later I'm still not sure if I've watched it all the way through.
posted by smoothvirus at 12:00 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
For you Gen-Y types, this was in the dark pre-Internet, pre-VHS, pre-cable (for me anyhow) days. So if you didn't catch a movie in the theater, well, you werent gonna see it.
Not that I missed much! 33 years later I'm still not sure if I've watched it all the way through.
posted by smoothvirus at 12:00 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.
A million to one, you say?
And still they came.
posted by mephron at 12:15 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
A million to one, you say?
And still they came.
posted by mephron at 12:15 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I wish we could do a collective MeFi viewing of 70s disaster movies like this and Poseidon Adventure and Towering Inferno and Airport '77 and Andromeda Strain.
Also: Neil deGrasse Tyson has a point.
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:31 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also: Neil deGrasse Tyson has a point.
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:31 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
For you Gen-Y types, this was in the dark pre-Internet, pre-VHS, pre-cable (for me anyhow) days. So if you didn't catch a movie in the theater, well, you werent gonna see it.
I remember my parents renting a VCR. The first movie we ever got was Jaws.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2013
I remember my parents renting a VCR. The first movie we ever got was Jaws.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:47 PM on February 18, 2013
This is the best relief one can get after a week of funeral stress. Old man is 6 feet under and the world is saved! Thank you.
posted by kudzu at 3:44 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by kudzu at 3:44 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
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Still, this is the kind of movie I could happily watch when at home with a flu and a slow brain.
posted by estuardo at 12:50 AM on February 18, 2013