"the laughing stock of the Internet and two music genres"

October 23, 2013 6:37 PM

Engineer turns hardcore band into EDM nightmare after they fail to pay. [T]he engineer, known only as Dan, funnelled the “best 30 mins I’ve ever spent” into reworking the material and uploading the final product. What was surely meant to be a hard-hitting, passionate composition of brutal metalcore integrity is now a cringeworthy dance track.
posted by Rory Marinich (50 comments total)

And, kids, that's why you pay your engineer.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 6:45 PM on October 23, 2013 [9 favorites]

The result sounds an awful lot like I Hate You When You're Pregnant's amazing Levitra vs. Viagra, only less... good.

I never went to college!
I never went to Disneyworld, no no!
I never went to the senior proooom!
...okay, I went to the senior prom...
posted by Rory Marinich at 6:46 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Wait, what if I kinda like this? Did the engineer's plan fail?
posted by coolxcool=rad at 6:46 PM on October 23, 2013

TERRIBLE
posted by smackwich at 6:48 PM on October 23, 2013

I hate when people sing in stupid voices like that.
posted by ChuckRamone at 6:52 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

I only wanted the best for us!
But didn't you even love yourself!
Could you even love at all

GANG VOCALS: And now our time is wasted!

This is hardcore now? It seems hardcore and Converge has...converged.
posted by ignignokt at 6:53 PM on October 23, 2013 [7 favorites]

I'm sorry, the only guy allowed to attempt that kind of vocal in my book is Brendon Small as Nathan Explosion.
posted by droplet at 6:55 PM on October 23, 2013 [12 favorites]

Heh, just listened to the version the band intended. They do that hilarious metalcore thing where they switch to sensitive melodic singing for the hook. Worse than the remix.
posted by ignignokt at 6:57 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Isn't this how Sonny John Moore got his start?
posted by Apocryphon at 7:07 PM on October 23, 2013

And, kids, that's why you pay your engineer.

*nods* I would often crack a tongue-in-cheek joke to actors if they were getting mischievous during rehearsals - "Okay, remember, I control the lights onstage - and that means I can turn them off of you whenever you're on." I always meant it as a joke, they always took it as a joke - but I also noticed they always calmed down after that.

Yep, you don't fuck with techies. Because we know the best ways to make you look completely stupid.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:09 PM on October 23, 2013 [17 favorites]

There's no way this can be making them look worse than a straight mix would have.
posted by anazgnos at 7:12 PM on October 23, 2013 [7 favorites]

Yeah, to be fair, the pre-production version is pretty cringeworthy as well.
posted by quiet earth at 7:15 PM on October 23, 2013

I heard tell of a live engineer whose revenge on bands who screwed him over was to put a pitch shifter on the vocalist's monitor, lowering it about a half step.

That's the evilest thing I've ever heard of. That a sound engineer could do.
posted by mikeand1 at 7:20 PM on October 23, 2013 [28 favorites]

He missed his chance to auto-tune them.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:21 PM on October 23, 2013

Oh god, this type of shit started happening a few years ago with metalcore bands, especially the types that are on Warped Tour now. See:

Attack Attack!
Enter Shikari

I'm sure there are more, but I'm not really a fan of that brand of metalcore.

ignignokt: This is hardcore now? It seems hardcore and Converge has...converged.

You know, I got mixed up because I thought it was going to be "hardcore" like the EDM genre. I wouldn't say this is hardcore in the slightest but it's sort of easy to lump it in there (I sometimes fall victim to this). Converge and the rest of the Deathwish bands (probably one of the best labels out there for hardcore, in my opinion) are still going super strong. Modern Life is War are back and have a new album either out or coming out soon. Touche Amore just came out with a pretty well acclaimed album. I think Lewd Acts or someone like that toured with Odd Future recently. Hardcore is doing pretty good right now.
posted by gucci mane at 7:25 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Oh damn you beat me to posting this!
posted by WalkerWestridge at 7:26 PM on October 23, 2013

And those are just bands on that one label.
posted by gucci mane at 7:27 PM on October 23, 2013

This song is screamy but I loves it.
posted by Drexen at 7:39 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

The singer reminds me of the eponymous teenager on the Simpsons, the one whose voice is perpetually breaking and pathetic.
posted by awfurby at 7:40 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

Those braces are *totally* metal.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:44 PM on October 23, 2013 [8 favorites]

A story where everyone wins, really.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:47 PM on October 23, 2013

I heard tell of a live engineer whose revenge on bands who screwed him over was to put a pitch shifter on the vocalist's monitor, lowering it about a half step.

I have a friend who's also a live engineer and does a subtler, more evil variation on this. He'll run the vocalist's channel through autotune without their knowledge, making it absolutely perfect--but only on the monitor, not the mains.

Think about it.
posted by sourwookie at 7:48 PM on October 23, 2013 [35 favorites]

Gucci mane, that music hurt my feelings. This kind of angrily yelling whining rock thing has been going on since Korn and Godsmack though, hasn't it? This newer stuff does seem to be a bit heavier on the OOH BABY WHY DON"T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE vibe I guess.
After watching the video in the FPP, though, I'm starting to gain a new-found respect for brokeNCYDE. They really were the badassest mothafukkaz in the cul-de-sac.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 7:54 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

I went to a local show in high school that didn't have any of this compromising "melody" or "tunes" bullshit

I got punched in the face

sadly, I didn't go to a local show with a more melodic band where I didn't get punched in the face

which would have lent this anecdote a nice symmetry
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:57 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

As far as I'm concerned, there's only one band that can pull off these types of vocals, and its name is Fucked Up:
Queen of Hearts
Running on Nothing
posted by Atom Eyes at 7:58 PM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]

Trinity-Gehenna: Gucci mane, that music hurt my feelings. This kind of angrily yelling whining rock thing has been going on since Korn and Godsmack though, hasn't it? This newer stuff does seem to be a bit heavier on the OOH BABY WHY DON"T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE vibe I guess. After watching the video in the FPP, though, I'm starting to gain a new-found respect for brokeNCYDE yt . They really were the badassest mothafukkaz in the cul-de-sac.

It's been going on for longer than Korn and Godsmack, but explaining the difference requires a lot of complicated history involving mixing of these musical genres together. What Attack Attack! basically is is a very, very mainstreamed, light version of Swedish melodic death metal riffs with "mosh" breakdowns (which arguably stem from 90's East Coast hardcore). The added element that is relatively new to their specific equation is throwing in these techno (house? I don't know my EDM genres at all) poppy parts. These are sort of the lighter, more digestible for mall audiences version of metalcore, which was for mall audiences in the early-mid 00's. I always found it hilarious how metalcore was basically a harder version of mainstream rock and metal and was easily consumed and marketed, but then went softer and softer, and did so in a very short timespan. Of course, death metal diehards would never have ever considered that stuff hard at all.

There are a few metalcore bands that threw in the synthesizers for their music prior to this, so it's not entirely a new thing, and is a natural development of those bands. I'm fairly certain As I Lay Dying has synths on some of their songs, but UnderOath's extremely early stuff, which is definitely a significant early entrant of metalcore and has tons of tropes that metalcore bands would start using, has synths used pretty often.

For grindier metalcore that came out in the mid-00's has synths but isn't as digestible compared to stuff such as Attack Attack! Arsonists Get All The Girls comes to mind.

Genghis Tron, which are pretty much straight up grindcore, are my favorite of the whole "let's throw some dancy parts into extreme metal" group of bands. They're pretty much the only one I'd ever listen to. I saw them live with Converge and Baroness and they had a really, really spectacular light show.

Of course, none of metalcore would be around without the likes of At The Gates and the other bands that composed the Swedish melodeath scene in the early 90's. Awesome music there if you are a fan of "real" metal.
posted by gucci mane at 8:15 PM on October 23, 2013 [10 favorites]

ChuckRamone: I hate when people sing in stupid voices like that.

Then you'll love crabcore!
posted by filthy light thief at 8:25 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Or this!
posted by eye of newt at 8:28 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

Guggi mane, thanks for that bit o' history and all the new noise for my ear holes! And for allowing me to find the video for Endless Teeth myself! That's quite a thing there.

Eye of newt, may I direct your attention to Hatebeak. I'm sorry.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 8:46 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

The Far Side's "Raymond's Last Day As the Band's Sound Technician" is a personal favorite.

So the band I worked for as the soundman had a singer get fired/quit acrimoniously. She later lawyered up and send a Cease-And-Desist demand letter claiming her vocals were on the next CD, lifted from the same tracks done live at a prior concert (which I'd recorded for the band).

The studio engineer (he happened to be dating the lead singer (not the one who quit) and was the band's new guitarist, because Irish Music is like the Ozarks) that made that CD soloed up her vocal parts from my tapes and played them for us and said "her parts all suck. If she really wants to make a fuss, we just let this tape get passed around and she'll never find another band in this town to take her."

My engineer buddy didn't have to follow through on his plan (or even tell her), but I'm sure he would've if she hadn't dropped her demands. I am not surprised by Altitudes getting remixed. Every band I know that lasted had figured out to pay the sound man first.

And Dan's not bad at Extended Dance Mixes. Other than the vocal, it had a kind of "Mike and the Mechanics" vibe to it.
posted by Mad_Carew at 9:27 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

1989, at least.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 9:31 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Today's laughing stock of the Internet, tomorrow's guest on The View.
posted by Pudhoho at 9:34 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm not comfortable with this. The proper response to a legitimate but minor financial grievance is small claims court. These kids are kids with fucking braces no less and if we're going to throw cabbage en masse at the less mature I want more evidence than a self-serving youtube video and credulous linkbait. The "facts" have been swallowed at face value with no scutiny whatsoever applied to the accuser, who is of course generating business.

The video subject is an awkward adolescent awkwardly singing about adolescence. It doesn't really get more vulnerable than that. He's in his goddamn underwear being singled out from the band unfairly. Yes, it is unfair because:

We don't know who in particular was supposed to pay the bill (plausibly the adult guitarist).
We don't know when it was due.
We don't know how long they were delinquent.
We don't know jack shit.

These details are glossed over because hey look teen suburban angst HAR-HAR. There is nothing more going on here. A shaming is justified only when the facts are known, and then only to the appropriate degree. But the internet is incapable of tempering itself by matters of degree. It is deaf and brutal. Shouldn't we pause before adding another stone to the pressing board?

Oh, and who didn't have abysmal taste in music when they were young? Anyone?
posted by troll at 9:37 PM on October 23, 2013 [8 favorites]

It's win-win. A young band's biggest problem is obscurity. If they have any sense they use this to their advantage: do self deprecating interviews, then produce another song that's better and ride the free publicity.
posted by EnterTheStory at 9:47 PM on October 23, 2013

Honestly, it doesn't bother me that much. The band learned a valuable lesson, and ultimately, I doubt that there's much in the way of long-lasting harm. I doubt that should this band get any good/attention down the line, that this thing they recorded when they were 13 and then was remixed by a dude they didn't pay will keep them from being signed or whatever. And if anything, they follow EnterTheStory's plan, and work it out for themselves and get a boost...

...and pay their next engineer.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 9:55 PM on October 23, 2013

Don't give money to your engineer, and in exchange he gives you the kind of publicity that money can't buy?

Ok, that's not intuitive to me, but the numbers all add up and the columns balance... I guess it's legit.
posted by anonymisc at 11:43 PM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]

I only wanted the best for us!
But didn't you even love yourself!
Could you even love at all

GANG VOCALS: And now our time is wasted!

The real takeaway from all this is that teenagers should not be allowed to write songs about their recent breakups with their girlfriends.
posted by spoobnooble II: electric bugaboo at 2:43 AM on October 24, 2013 [3 favorites]

Think about it.

Personally, I would just throw gasoline in them and set them on fire, but that's because I'm not nearly as evil as your friend is. Wow. Just wow.

note: I would not actually throw gasoline and set fire to anybody.
posted by eriko at 4:22 AM on October 24, 2013

For "hardcore," in this instance, read "some kind of early emo re-tread." I can see how they were sort of going for Rites of Spring, but, you know-not good. Put me in the camp of liking the re-mix better than the original.

Also, not paying labor is about the least punk thing you can do.



Also, nice ollie.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:30 AM on October 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Genghis Tron

I have nothing to add other than i LOVE this band name. ;)
posted by usagizero at 4:59 AM on October 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

troll: "I'm not comfortable with this. The proper response to a legitimate but minor financial grievance is small claims court."

Eponysterical!
posted by Chrysostom at 5:55 AM on October 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wow, what a dick move.
posted by malocchio at 6:38 AM on October 24, 2013

spitbull: What will the kids think of next, Discocore?

YESSSSSSSS
posted by filthy light thief at 7:35 AM on October 24, 2013

"And now our time is wasted!"
Yeah kid, that's two of us now.
posted by fingerbang at 8:33 AM on October 24, 2013

This guy is going to make a lot of these remixes if he keeps working with teenagers without getting the money up front.
posted by InfidelZombie at 9:44 AM on October 24, 2013

I'm pretty sure there aren't any short gibberish phrases I could think up that aren't already the name of some sub-sub-genre of music.
posted by ckape at 10:55 AM on October 24, 2013

Well, geez, when I was in a crappy straight-edge hardcore band (TRUE ’TIL DEATH! 21!), I did my own crappy happy hardcore dance remix as a bonus track, because hey, there was room left on the cassette. Both versions were considerably worse than either version of Altitude’s.
posted by nicepersonality at 11:23 AM on October 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

The real takeaway from all this is that teenagers should not be allowed to write songs about their recent breakups with their girlfriends.

There should be some kind of accredited songwriting qualification one has to obtain before being allowed to write about recent breakups. It'd nip a lot of shit music in the bud.
posted by acb at 4:51 AM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]

What will the kids think of next, Discocore?

I vote for Cupcakecore (twee pop meets hardcore).
posted by acb at 4:51 AM on October 25, 2013

If that leads to a show called CupcakeCore Wars than I'm with you 100%
posted by InfidelZombie at 8:37 AM on October 25, 2013