8 Facial Hair Styles on One Face, From Full Beard to Clean Shaven
February 16, 2023 9:17 PM Subscribe
GQ Magazine actually tackles practical men's grooming! Famed bearded barber Matty Conrad does the unthinkable and shaves! But along the way, he demonstrates several facial hair styles. He says he's been 10 years for him.. It's been 37 years for me! And I ain't doin' it! 8 Facial Hair Styles on One Face, From Full Beard to Clean Shaven [13m49s]
Every time I clip my beard I start underneath my chin and for thirty seconds I have Lemmy from Motörhead’s beard. I salute myself in the mirror with the index-and-pinkie horns. One of these days I’ll stop there. One of these days.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 11:27 PM on February 16, 2023 [13 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 11:27 PM on February 16, 2023 [13 favorites]
I go back and forth with beards on probably a biannual basis, and right now (as well as the last couple) it's about 1/4" and that's enough beard for me, just enough not to have to blade shave every day, because I grow my beards out of laziness
I had a pencil mustache for a while, which this guy totally screwed up. He can try and play it off as a French Guy, but that requires more mustache above. What he didn't know or realize is that the pencil is actually kind of in the middle of the, uh, what's that, the upper lip? It's relatively far up above the lip, which felt very counterintuitive when I made my first tries. He also needed to make the mustache hair shorter (as well as raising the broom line) for the Magnum (and the Van Dyke, but why quibble). That said, I figured giving yourself weird facial hair as you shave your beard was common. I don't see how anybody could just fly past it.
posted by rhizome at 12:42 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
I had a pencil mustache for a while, which this guy totally screwed up. He can try and play it off as a French Guy, but that requires more mustache above. What he didn't know or realize is that the pencil is actually kind of in the middle of the, uh, what's that, the upper lip? It's relatively far up above the lip, which felt very counterintuitive when I made my first tries. He also needed to make the mustache hair shorter (as well as raising the broom line) for the Magnum (and the Van Dyke, but why quibble). That said, I figured giving yourself weird facial hair as you shave your beard was common. I don't see how anybody could just fly past it.
posted by rhizome at 12:42 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
I dunno, my grandpa had a pencil moustache for decades and it was always near the bottom edge of the upper lip.
But yeah when I go clean shaven I always do this and just pop out of the bathroom periodically to show my partner so she can yell NO at me.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:53 AM on February 17, 2023 [13 favorites]
But yeah when I go clean shaven I always do this and just pop out of the bathroom periodically to show my partner so she can yell NO at me.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:53 AM on February 17, 2023 [13 favorites]
Eponys...terical?
I've never seen my dad without a beard. He did shave it off once for the 25th anniversary of having it, while living by himself off in distant lands for a project. It just so happens my now-wife was living in the same town then, so she's seen my dad beardless, while none of his kids know him any other way.
posted by St. Oops at 1:00 AM on February 17, 2023 [7 favorites]
I've never seen my dad without a beard. He did shave it off once for the 25th anniversary of having it, while living by himself off in distant lands for a project. It just so happens my now-wife was living in the same town then, so she's seen my dad beardless, while none of his kids know him any other way.
posted by St. Oops at 1:00 AM on February 17, 2023 [7 favorites]
He's a lucky guy who has both a luxuriant beard and a nice chin, I think a lot of guys struggle to grow that much beard or don't like how they look without one.
posted by emjaybee at 1:03 AM on February 17, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 1:03 AM on February 17, 2023 [6 favorites]
My dad has also always had a beard, a goatee, and I've never seen him without it in four and a bit decades. My mum had also never seen him without it, until one long holiday a few years ago, when he shaved it off after she asked him to. She told him to grow it back immediately, I think he must be one of those chaps who is lucky that he can grow a beard.
I've had my own beard for over a decade now, it grew in after I smashed my face into a load of rocks when I fell off my bike, and the healing process made shaving very unpleasant for a bit. My wife liked it so much that I kept it, and I appreciate not having to shave, although she has suggested recently that it might be interesting to see what the scars look like under there. If I do I will obviously try out as many different permutations as I can on the way, like in this vid - why would you not?
I did see a couple of different Matty Conrad videos a while back and picked up some useful tips on taming and shaping up one's face fuzz that I still hadn't figured out for myself, he's surprisingly watchable and very knowledgeable on his subject.
posted by tomsk at 2:02 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
I've had my own beard for over a decade now, it grew in after I smashed my face into a load of rocks when I fell off my bike, and the healing process made shaving very unpleasant for a bit. My wife liked it so much that I kept it, and I appreciate not having to shave, although she has suggested recently that it might be interesting to see what the scars look like under there. If I do I will obviously try out as many different permutations as I can on the way, like in this vid - why would you not?
I did see a couple of different Matty Conrad videos a while back and picked up some useful tips on taming and shaping up one's face fuzz that I still hadn't figured out for myself, he's surprisingly watchable and very knowledgeable on his subject.
posted by tomsk at 2:02 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
he's surprisingly watchable and very knowledgeable on his subject
Yeah, watching one of his was what got me to actually trim mine towards a shape, rather than freaking out over how scraggly it gets at a certain length and shaving it all down to stubble for the next round. This is important information, as our culture rediscovers the joy of beards!
posted by mittens at 2:43 AM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Yeah, watching one of his was what got me to actually trim mine towards a shape, rather than freaking out over how scraggly it gets at a certain length and shaving it all down to stubble for the next round. This is important information, as our culture rediscovers the joy of beards!
posted by mittens at 2:43 AM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
Oof. Looks like a nice video but can't watch more than a few minutes. I can't stand the flickering transition video effects they added.
posted by Zumbador at 3:34 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Zumbador at 3:34 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
This link is just in case anyone thought Kristofer Hivju's beard masked a weak chin.
posted by Harald74 at 3:47 AM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Harald74 at 3:47 AM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
I can't stand the flickering transition video effects they added.
yea, me too, it's really irritating. Note to editors - nothing says "I am not confident that my material is interesting enough" like adding bits of visual garbage at half the cuts. Netflix documentaries are often guilty of this move too.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:10 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
yea, me too, it's really irritating. Note to editors - nothing says "I am not confident that my material is interesting enough" like adding bits of visual garbage at half the cuts. Netflix documentaries are often guilty of this move too.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:10 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
I am also a biannual beard guy, and when it comes off in the spring I always walk around for just a bit with a big ol' Magnum P.I. 'stache until my wife, once again, tells me "absolutely not."
posted by Zargon X at 5:17 AM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Zargon X at 5:17 AM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
Only halfway through, but I have to say I'm impressed with his ambidextrous-ness. I don't think I could do much with my off hand.
Also wondering about all the tiny hairs that are headed down his t-shirt. (Ask me how I know this)
I've had a beard for 45 years- don't like razors much, and only shaved it off once. My son was 10 and I'd had a beard since he was 5. Quite the look he gave me. Also, my wife said 'grow it back.' So, except for the mustache, clean-shaven for one day since the Nixon administration.
posted by MtDewd at 5:22 AM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
Also wondering about all the tiny hairs that are headed down his t-shirt. (Ask me how I know this)
I've had a beard for 45 years- don't like razors much, and only shaved it off once. My son was 10 and I'd had a beard since he was 5. Quite the look he gave me. Also, my wife said 'grow it back.' So, except for the mustache, clean-shaven for one day since the Nixon administration.
posted by MtDewd at 5:22 AM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
After my 2 week honeymoon, I looked at my face and said “heck, it’s long enough to qualify as a beard, maybe I’ll keep this”
My 25th anniversary is this summer: I haven’t seen my chin in the interim.
I kept it pretty short for many years, but in the past decade I’ve started wavering between longer or shorter. When it gets too long it gets a bit unmanageable even with a decent amount of oil or beard cream. I occasionally envy the guys with the beard-that-can-double-as-a-bib, but the difference between a few inches and mid-chest is a lot of waiting and some unruly lengths that you have to just deal with until it grows out more.
That, and masks just don’t work with beards. So the last few years have been difficult, it’s easier with shorter lengths (and thank god I don’t work where a fitted N95 is required by policy, because that would force me to quit or shave… and I really don’t want to break my bewhiskered streak!)
posted by caution live frogs at 5:24 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
My 25th anniversary is this summer: I haven’t seen my chin in the interim.
I kept it pretty short for many years, but in the past decade I’ve started wavering between longer or shorter. When it gets too long it gets a bit unmanageable even with a decent amount of oil or beard cream. I occasionally envy the guys with the beard-that-can-double-as-a-bib, but the difference between a few inches and mid-chest is a lot of waiting and some unruly lengths that you have to just deal with until it grows out more.
That, and masks just don’t work with beards. So the last few years have been difficult, it’s easier with shorter lengths (and thank god I don’t work where a fitted N95 is required by policy, because that would force me to quit or shave… and I really don’t want to break my bewhiskered streak!)
posted by caution live frogs at 5:24 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Facial hair was the one part of puberty that I just couldn't deal with and to this day I stay clean-shaven because I just do. not. want. facial hair. Every now and then I contemplate having it lasered off because I hate shaving so much.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:44 AM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:44 AM on February 17, 2023 [4 favorites]
He's a lucky guy who has both a luxuriant beard and a nice chin, I think a lot of guys struggle to grow that much beard or don't like how they look without one.
Mine works fine when short, but the times I've tried to grow it out, it just gets all weird, like "puffy but in patches" was a style. I've long been curious about putting myself in the hands of a hipster barber who understands beard shaping and seeing if it would be possible to grow it without it looking weird. But a short beard is so incredibly low effort -- no daily shaving, and also no products or special care needed. My wife has threatened divorce if I ever shave it off, but we did meet back when I shaved so it can't have been all that bad. She says it is a huge improvement, though, and insists that it should stay.
A couple of younger coworkers grew ironic mustaches last year and to me it was not a good look, much more Pornstache than Magnum PI. But their girlfriends apparently approved and the mustaches stayed much long than I was expecting.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:27 AM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Mine works fine when short, but the times I've tried to grow it out, it just gets all weird, like "puffy but in patches" was a style. I've long been curious about putting myself in the hands of a hipster barber who understands beard shaping and seeing if it would be possible to grow it without it looking weird. But a short beard is so incredibly low effort -- no daily shaving, and also no products or special care needed. My wife has threatened divorce if I ever shave it off, but we did meet back when I shaved so it can't have been all that bad. She says it is a huge improvement, though, and insists that it should stay.
A couple of younger coworkers grew ironic mustaches last year and to me it was not a good look, much more Pornstache than Magnum PI. But their girlfriends apparently approved and the mustaches stayed much long than I was expecting.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:27 AM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
My wife doesn't like the feel of a beard, so I shave often. Less often in the winter. Because I shower less often in the winter, too.
I have grown out my beard a handful of times, and I could have as gigantic a beard as this guy. Except mine would be mostly white now. A side benefit to this is that my stubble is less noticeable these days, unless you feel it. I'd look like a skinny Santa Claus with my Scandinavian/Northern European DNA if I went all-out on it right now.
It feels amazing immediately after shaving when you have had a beard for a while!
There's a young guy that I work with who grew out an ironic mustache about a year and a half ago. I'm so used to seeing him with it now that it no longer seems ironic. And I think he' just leaning into it. At what point does it stop being ironic?
posted by SoberHighland at 6:31 AM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I have grown out my beard a handful of times, and I could have as gigantic a beard as this guy. Except mine would be mostly white now. A side benefit to this is that my stubble is less noticeable these days, unless you feel it. I'd look like a skinny Santa Claus with my Scandinavian/Northern European DNA if I went all-out on it right now.
It feels amazing immediately after shaving when you have had a beard for a while!
There's a young guy that I work with who grew out an ironic mustache about a year and a half ago. I'm so used to seeing him with it now that it no longer seems ironic. And I think he' just leaning into it. At what point does it stop being ironic?
posted by SoberHighland at 6:31 AM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
My beard is coming up on it's 15th birthday. Soon it will be old enough to grow a beard of it's own.
My face looks completely different without it, and barely anyone would recognize me. I only plan on shaving as a serious Plan B, if I ever need to fake my own death and disappear completely.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 6:35 AM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
My face looks completely different without it, and barely anyone would recognize me. I only plan on shaving as a serious Plan B, if I ever need to fake my own death and disappear completely.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 6:35 AM on February 17, 2023 [3 favorites]
I thought this was interesting but I was a bit frustrated that the close-up shot was *so* close up that I could not see the whole beard. And the dark beard against the dark background and the dark shirt made things difficult too. I do love nice facial hair though so I watched it all!
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 7:30 AM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 7:30 AM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I have always had a stache. Tom Selleck kind. I have a big pizza face with a small nose with a wide gap between my upper lip and the nose; so I look weird without the stache. I went to a Low Rider style starting 2017 as my life condition changed/improved: so new life, new me phase. But I also have a nice jawline so a guy with a goatee told me to go with the Mask style, which I have been sporting for a couple of months. Watching this video, I am now inspired to do a version of the Van Dyke. Just the Mask style but grow out the upper lip so I can twirl it!
I have had a mustache pretty much my whole life. So the couple of times I had to shave it for religious reasons; I looked weird and people who saw that actually asked me to grow it back. Plus I am bald, so I also have a shaved head. Thank God my head shape is good with no bumps so I can do that.
This was a nice video and I learned something. Use the clipper with downward strokes. Thanks Hippybear.
posted by indianbadger1 at 7:40 AM on February 17, 2023
I have had a mustache pretty much my whole life. So the couple of times I had to shave it for religious reasons; I looked weird and people who saw that actually asked me to grow it back. Plus I am bald, so I also have a shaved head. Thank God my head shape is good with no bumps so I can do that.
This was a nice video and I learned something. Use the clipper with downward strokes. Thanks Hippybear.
posted by indianbadger1 at 7:40 AM on February 17, 2023
Coming up on sixteen years of knowing my husband and I have never seen his chin. He looks good with a beard and maintains it well enough, so why mess with it? I have a friend I've known a bit longer who shaved his face once for a Halloween stunt, and his naked face was horrifying enough on its own that no additional costume was needed. I'm pretty sure his now-wife wouldn't go near him for at least a week.
posted by obfuscation at 7:41 AM on February 17, 2023
posted by obfuscation at 7:41 AM on February 17, 2023
My dad grew a beard when he retired from his position as an executive with a large local utility. He worked there from straight out of college until retirement and his "uniform" was a dark suit, conservative tie, light or white shirt. He retired early because the company was going in a terrible direction. His full beard and refusal to wear a suit except in very rare circumstances was his "rebellion". I was glad he retired when he did because it meant he had 10 really good years with Mom to travel, learn new skills (pies, crepes, etc.), and enjoy life. If he'd waited until 65 he'd only have had 4 years.
posted by agatha_magatha at 9:37 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by agatha_magatha at 9:37 AM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Coming up on mostly being bearded/goateed for 25 years. Once, when my wife and I were in the dating phase of life, I shaved the beard while I was on a camping trip. I showed up at her apartment and she screamed and slammed the door in my face!
Every once in a while I shave it at her behest because "scratchy", but then immediately get asked to put it back on my face.
posted by drewbage1847 at 2:55 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Every once in a while I shave it at her behest because "scratchy", but then immediately get asked to put it back on my face.
posted by drewbage1847 at 2:55 PM on February 17, 2023 [2 favorites]
Okay, but ... what model of clipper and trimmer were those? Because I am sick to death of cheap, crappy trimmers and clippers and I want those.
posted by ChrisR at 3:18 PM on February 17, 2023
posted by ChrisR at 3:18 PM on February 17, 2023
He has recommended products that he lists at the bottom of his own videos. This one (his most recent) has a whole list of trimmers and scissors and etc in the video description.
posted by hippybear at 3:34 PM on February 17, 2023
posted by hippybear at 3:34 PM on February 17, 2023
Dang, I was hoping they weren't Wahl... not that I dislike their products, per se, but they still haven't delivered the replacement blades that I ordered three weeks ago; I'm not sure I want to send more money their way.
Those aren't the ones from the linked video, though, and that post didn't have product links in it, that I could find. Guess I could click around some more, but ... eh, maybe, maybe not.
Thanks!
posted by ChrisR at 4:00 PM on February 17, 2023
Those aren't the ones from the linked video, though, and that post didn't have product links in it, that I could find. Guess I could click around some more, but ... eh, maybe, maybe not.
Thanks!
posted by ChrisR at 4:00 PM on February 17, 2023
At what point does it stop being ironic?
I'll say this, at least the first time you grow a mustache, you have to be ready to call it ironic (and like here it may very well begin as that), because the thing is, EVERYBODY is going to say you look like a child molester or porn guy. You have to be able to deflect that.
posted by rhizome at 4:11 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'll say this, at least the first time you grow a mustache, you have to be ready to call it ironic (and like here it may very well begin as that), because the thing is, EVERYBODY is going to say you look like a child molester or porn guy. You have to be able to deflect that.
posted by rhizome at 4:11 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I gave up on my beard ( a 3 year project) when I looked at the images of the insurrectionists at the Capitol and saw how many were beardy in the same way as I was.
I did have a fine Tom Selleck mustache in the late 1970s but that did not survive my plunge into punk.
posted by skyscraper at 6:45 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
I did have a fine Tom Selleck mustache in the late 1970s but that did not survive my plunge into punk.
posted by skyscraper at 6:45 PM on February 17, 2023 [1 favorite]
Watching the next video, wow, that's an impressive four week beard!
posted by freethefeet at 3:14 AM on February 18, 2023
posted by freethefeet at 3:14 AM on February 18, 2023
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