Poking the bear.

July 20, 2020 6:43 AM

We thought this bear was out cold. We were mistaken. Changing the radio collar on a 350-pound hibernating bear should have been a routine task—if he'd been sleeping soundly.
posted by bonehead (24 comments total)

Here's another link for this story in case anyone has trouble National Geographic paywalling it.
posted by taz at 6:50 AM on July 20, 2020

Let my father-in-law sleep in, geez
posted by pxe2000 at 7:11 AM on July 20, 2020 [4 favorites]

Years later, at Goldilocks’ house.
posted by robbyrobs at 7:33 AM on July 20, 2020 [11 favorites]

Maybe ten or so years ago, when I was still living in the woods, NJ Fish and Wildlife knocked on my door. There was a bear den about 1/4 mile behind my house, and could they stage themselves in my driveway in order to go dart the mother bear and tag and weigh the cubs? In exchange they asked us to keep the cubs warm while they changed batteries, adjusted mama's collar and weighed her. Definitely one of the highlights of my life...the cub they gave me pulled itself up to snuggle into my neck and promptly started snoring. So cool.

Happily the dart worked, in this case.....
posted by nevercalm at 8:00 AM on July 20, 2020 [95 favorites]

Happily the dart worked, in this case.....
posted by nevercalm at 11:00 AM on July 20

The possibility that it would not does explain the user name.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:08 AM on July 20, 2020 [13 favorites]

Grizzly Bear Wake Up - Craighead Brothers Trying to Tag Semi-Conscious Bear (1967) [YT]. Comments are worth reading.

More about Frank and John Craighead at WP and The New Yorker.
posted by cenoxo at 8:30 AM on July 20, 2020 [5 favorites]

Boy howdy, "this bear is probably definitely sleeping" seems like a bad mistake to make.

Twice.

On the same day.

With the same bear.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:49 AM on July 20, 2020 [12 favorites]

350 lb? that's tiny!
posted by supermedusa at 8:56 AM on July 20, 2020

to me, the most disturbing aspect is being is such a small, constricted place (with a probably annoyed to be disturbed bear) I'm glad they were so bravely concerned to keep Yogi safe.

nevercalm my family is in north-west NJ and see bears all the time. everyone who lives up there keeps a noise maker on their keychain.
posted by supermedusa at 9:00 AM on July 20, 2020 [4 favorites]

I vastly prefer the printweb to video when it comes to narrative and journalism, and really resent how hard all of the big players are trying to "pivot to video". But in this case, I think the lack of video is a major disappointment.

because Yakety Sax
posted by Anoplura at 9:45 AM on July 20, 2020

witchen, I have no personal experience but this comment came immediately to mind when thinking of bear stench.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:58 AM on July 20, 2020 [4 favorites]

From the bear's point of view, it would have been a weird hallucinatory event, rather like an alien abduction.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 10:36 AM on July 20, 2020 [14 favorites]

Bear's note to self: Avoid fermented berries, mushrooms, iffy garbage, et al. during pre-hibernation all-you-can-eat buffet.

Related: Far Side.
posted by cenoxo at 11:09 AM on July 20, 2020 [9 favorites]

Having seen just that picture with no explanation previously, it's nice to know the story ended with everyone, including the bear, alive and relatively untraumatized.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:12 AM on July 20, 2020 [2 favorites]

I am theoretically scared of bears, but from the safe seat in front of the computer, I really am tempted to rub this one's belly. I know, I know, my cat lures me in for wrassling matches with the same pose.
posted by spamandkimchi at 11:19 AM on July 20, 2020 [9 favorites]

lugocjaz, thank you for linking to comment; the comment just below, also by Nerd of the North, comes to mind at least whenever I see anything really detailed about bears, because I think the starring bear was performing some kind of procedure to get rid of that tapeworm, but I couldn't find it — and there's a bonus bear anecdote about us naive Southerners and our foolishness in dealing with these giant mammals which features a delightful and just disturbing enough cameo of a vividly hungry black bear.
posted by jamjam at 12:10 PM on July 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

spamandkimchi, I don't think you're misreading that bear at all: check out this video and skip to the 2:43 mark.
posted by jamjam at 12:27 PM on July 20, 2020 [8 favorites]

I've had several up close encounters with black ones. The stinky one stank because of deer carcass. It would be nice if you could always smell them cause they can be so quiet and suddenly they're standing a few feet behind you.

Talk to them. Got nothing to lose at that point.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 12:58 PM on July 20, 2020 [5 favorites]

> Grizzly Bear Wake Up - Craighead Brothers Trying to Tag Semi-Conscious Bear yt (1967) [YT].

The entire 1967 documentary is here (archive.org video). Well worth a watch.
posted by flug at 6:45 PM on July 20, 2020 [1 favorite]

This comment Is the metafilter bear comment I remember. At least that one was sleeping though.
posted by nat at 1:51 AM on July 21, 2020

It would be nice if you could always smell them cause they can be so quiet and suddenly they're standing a few feet behind you.

Gah, just reading that makes my hair stand on end. How does anyone ever dare to go hiking?

(My local countryside contains nothing scarier than a horsefly... )
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 5:54 AM on July 21, 2020 [1 favorite]

Twenty or so years ago I went backpacking with my then tweenaged daughter in the hills above Yosemite, somewhat SW of Tuolumne meadows. We were camping near the last of three pristine lakes and had carefully stowed any edibles and aromatics in a bear canister well away from camp. Late at night I awoke to the sound of heavy snuffling just outside the tent. It could only have been a brown bear investigating whether we had any food. It left, dissapointed no doubt, after about half an hour and IIRC I never told her about it; she had slept through. It took me quite a while to get back to sleep but it was memorable.
posted by sjswitzer at 5:56 PM on July 21, 2020 [2 favorites]

bears come through here all the time, often very close by; somehow Ive never smelled anything untoward. They seem to practise excellent hygiene. (also there are no fish anywhere near ) ... The dogs however can smell them through the walls of the cabin: if they jump up from a nap growling, I know to look outside.
posted by cabin fever at 11:23 PM on July 21, 2020

List of fatal bear attacks in North America (WP), 2010s - 1780s. Undoubtedly others have not been recorded/reported.

How to behave if you see a bear — Bear Safety Tips > Bear Encounters, BearWise.org.

Cats vs. Bears.
posted by cenoxo at 4:08 AM on July 22, 2020