Have you tried not body shaming the slug into thinking it's too big?
September 10, 2017 7:18 PM Subscribe
Good evening. Does anyone know how to get a slug out of an iron? [SLFB]. One of those rare times it's worth reading the comments.
The tags are the best part of this post. A story told in just three words.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 7:29 PM on September 10, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 7:29 PM on September 10, 2017 [7 favorites]
Those are surprisingly hilarious comments!
posted by gryphonlover at 7:56 PM on September 10, 2017
posted by gryphonlover at 7:56 PM on September 10, 2017
For those without a FB login...
FB POST:
Good evening. Does anyone know how to get a slug out of an iron? There's a slug in my iron. Thanks in advance.
Update: I've tried repeatedly filling the iron with water, then pouring it out but it isn't working. I think the slug is too big.
[[Honest to god picture of a slug inside an iron, visible through the transparent plastic of the iron's water reservoir]]
TOP COMMENTS:
Rachel Caswell: Tell him you're developing feelings for him.
That's how I get my guys to leave.
Richard Phillips: Have you tried not body shaming the slug into thinking it's too big? Perhaps with a bit of self confidence it might come out on its own without ridicule.
Boone Arthur: I asked the wife what she does when we get slugs stuck in the iron and without hesitation she said, "same thing I always do when I have a fat jerk i need to get rid of. Poison them in their sleep." She stared at me long enough for things to get awkward.
David Logsdon: This is the result of either a slug that was suffering an iron deficiency or an iron with a slug deficiency. Either way, problem solved.
Caitlin Catsui Nichols: That's his home now. Fuck those bitch ass snails and their tiny mobile homes. This slug's livin' it big. Get a new iron, you've been evicted.
Isaac Reeve: This is easy, you pour in some rice, maybe some peas, stock cube, SALT, bring it to the boil and hey presto a Slug Risotto you can't eat 'cause it's in your iron
posted by Salvor Hardin at 7:58 PM on September 10, 2017 [49 favorites]
FB POST:
Good evening. Does anyone know how to get a slug out of an iron? There's a slug in my iron. Thanks in advance.
Update: I've tried repeatedly filling the iron with water, then pouring it out but it isn't working. I think the slug is too big.
[[Honest to god picture of a slug inside an iron, visible through the transparent plastic of the iron's water reservoir]]
TOP COMMENTS:
Rachel Caswell: Tell him you're developing feelings for him.
That's how I get my guys to leave.
Richard Phillips: Have you tried not body shaming the slug into thinking it's too big? Perhaps with a bit of self confidence it might come out on its own without ridicule.
Boone Arthur: I asked the wife what she does when we get slugs stuck in the iron and without hesitation she said, "same thing I always do when I have a fat jerk i need to get rid of. Poison them in their sleep." She stared at me long enough for things to get awkward.
David Logsdon: This is the result of either a slug that was suffering an iron deficiency or an iron with a slug deficiency. Either way, problem solved.
Caitlin Catsui Nichols: That's his home now. Fuck those bitch ass snails and their tiny mobile homes. This slug's livin' it big. Get a new iron, you've been evicted.
Isaac Reeve: This is easy, you pour in some rice, maybe some peas, stock cube, SALT, bring it to the boil and hey presto a Slug Risotto you can't eat 'cause it's in your iron
posted by Salvor Hardin at 7:58 PM on September 10, 2017 [49 favorites]
Have you tried rubbing the iron and saying "Slug, I set you free?" Of course, you might want to make your first two wishes before doing this.
posted by Mchelly at 8:05 PM on September 10, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by Mchelly at 8:05 PM on September 10, 2017 [12 favorites]
No, but really. How did it get IN there???
posted by greermahoney at 8:12 PM on September 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by greermahoney at 8:12 PM on September 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Must be one moist, drafty place they're living in.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:29 PM on September 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Countess Elena at 8:29 PM on September 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've had slugs trek across the bone-dry floor of my bone-dry basement. One made it about half of the length before dying and desiccating, and its glistening trail remained, leading from some gap at the top of our foundation. Sometimes slugs just make poor life choices.
Our iron is in the basement, though, and it is one of the few water sources down there. Some day, a slug may reach that oasis. But I hope not.
posted by whatnotever at 8:52 PM on September 10, 2017 [11 favorites]
Our iron is in the basement, though, and it is one of the few water sources down there. Some day, a slug may reach that oasis. But I hope not.
posted by whatnotever at 8:52 PM on September 10, 2017 [11 favorites]
The commenter whose mother (or grandmother or mother in law I'm not logging back in to check) said to empty the water and leave a saucer of beer nearby has the right idea. The smell attracts slugs and then they drown in it.
Do not then drink the saucer of slug death beer no matter how tempted you may be.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:30 PM on September 10, 2017 [22 favorites]
Do not then drink the saucer of slug death beer no matter how tempted you may be.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:30 PM on September 10, 2017 [22 favorites]
In 2017 "Does anyone know how to get a slug out of an iron?" is a perfectly reasonable question.
posted by Lyme Drop at 9:34 PM on September 10, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Lyme Drop at 9:34 PM on September 10, 2017 [10 favorites]
Is there a way to read the comments without having a Facebook login?
I was able to load the comments (not logged in) by clicking on the text below the photo that says Likes, Comments, Shares
posted by lesser weasel at 1:27 AM on September 11, 2017 [3 favorites]
I was able to load the comments (not logged in) by clicking on the text below the photo that says Likes, Comments, Shares
posted by lesser weasel at 1:27 AM on September 11, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm so glad to have moved to a place where (so far) slugs are unwilling or unable to get in the house. Our place in south London was kind of falling apart around us due to an inattentive landlord, and there were all kinds of drafty bits and gaps where slugs could get in--and boy,did they ever. I was on nightly slug patrol, and I won't horrify you with the sheer numbers.
I may have made my job harder, though, since I never actually killed them...I just tossed them out into the back garden to fend for themselves, at the mercy of the elements and passing hedgehogs. I'm reasonably sure at least one of them was the same slug who kept coming back over and over, fueled by his SHEER INVERTEBRATE RAGE at the giant ape who kept thwarting his attempts to finally make it to the cat bowls and eat all the kibbles...
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:59 AM on September 11, 2017 [11 favorites]
I may have made my job harder, though, since I never actually killed them...I just tossed them out into the back garden to fend for themselves, at the mercy of the elements and passing hedgehogs. I'm reasonably sure at least one of them was the same slug who kept coming back over and over, fueled by his SHEER INVERTEBRATE RAGE at the giant ape who kept thwarting his attempts to finally make it to the cat bowls and eat all the kibbles...
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:59 AM on September 11, 2017 [11 favorites]
Do not then drink the saucer of slug death beer no matter how tempted you may be.
When people ask me how I chose the name for my new Hardcore Metal Band, I will point them to this comment.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:11 AM on September 11, 2017 [11 favorites]
When people ask me how I chose the name for my new Hardcore Metal Band, I will point them to this comment.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:11 AM on September 11, 2017 [11 favorites]
Maybe someone who knows how to put ships in bottles could send in a miniature whaler.
posted by Segundus at 2:22 AM on September 11, 2017 [19 favorites]
posted by Segundus at 2:22 AM on September 11, 2017 [19 favorites]
Do not then drink the saucer of slug death beer no matter how tempted you may be.
Zero tempted, never fear. I want neither to drink something a slug lived in nor something it died in.
posted by jeather at 4:32 AM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Zero tempted, never fear. I want neither to drink something a slug lived in nor something it died in.
posted by jeather at 4:32 AM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
The slugs in this lime lapse video mostly seem to be enjoying the beer without any difficulties, though I can't say that afterwards they'd be good drivers.
posted by exogenous at 4:38 AM on September 11, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by exogenous at 4:38 AM on September 11, 2017 [3 favorites]
The slugs in this lime lapse video yt mostly seem to be enjoying the beer without any difficulties, though I can't say that afterwards they'd be good drivers.
TIL: Slugs are not nocturnal. Huh.
I did see a few fall in there, including one big juicy one. Not as many as I'd have thought, though.
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:51 AM on September 11, 2017
Raise your hand of your first thought on seeing this post was to go check your iron for creatures in the water tank.
posted by TedW at 5:59 AM on September 11, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by TedW at 5:59 AM on September 11, 2017 [3 favorites]
TIL: Slugs are not nocturnal. Huh.
Depends on the species. The ones we got in our old house (which were, as far as I could tell, Limax flavus) were very much nocturnal, which was an absolute joy when walking into the bathroom at night without turning the light on first.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:16 AM on September 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Depends on the species. The ones we got in our old house (which were, as far as I could tell, Limax flavus) were very much nocturnal, which was an absolute joy when walking into the bathroom at night without turning the light on first.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:16 AM on September 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Raise your hand of your first thought on seeing this post was to go check your iron for creatures in the water tank.
It wasn't until I saw your comment.
My iron is thankfully clear of wildlife.
posted by bile and syntax at 6:27 AM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
It wasn't until I saw your comment.
My iron is thankfully clear of wildlife.
posted by bile and syntax at 6:27 AM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
FaceBook.com is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time. I have no idea how these people got their slugs wedged into their irons, or why.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:39 AM on September 11, 2017 [33 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:39 AM on September 11, 2017 [33 favorites]
If you think FaceBook.com is weird, you may not be ready for TheFaceBook.com.
posted by Tehhund at 7:41 AM on September 11, 2017
posted by Tehhund at 7:41 AM on September 11, 2017
ricochet biscuit, that may be my favorite comment of all time.
posted by Night_owl at 7:56 AM on September 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Night_owl at 7:56 AM on September 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Thanks! I simply cannot understand how I am the first one to make it, though.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:49 AM on September 11, 2017
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:49 AM on September 11, 2017
We used to have a slug-murder zone under the porch. I'm not entirely certain why we did it this way, but it was an established tradition by the time my memories of it start. We kids would be assigned to pick slugs off the tender things in the garden, then find a twig (of which there were always plenty in the garden) and stab the slug into the earth with it. There were rows and rows of these slug-death sticks, kind of like the Roman crucifixions after a slave rebellion.
posted by tavella at 10:58 AM on September 11, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by tavella at 10:58 AM on September 11, 2017 [7 favorites]
Also Rachel Caswell, responding to her own "Tell him you have feelings for him" comment:
That's k tho because..."I don't want no slug. A slug is a guy that can't get no love from me."- TLC
Brilliant.
posted by Autumnheart at 11:28 AM on September 11, 2017 [7 favorites]
That's k tho because..."I don't want no slug. A slug is a guy that can't get no love from me."- TLC
Brilliant.
posted by Autumnheart at 11:28 AM on September 11, 2017 [7 favorites]
When people ask me how I chose the name for my new Hardcore Metal Band, I will point them to this comment.
Welcome to my microbrewpub; please enjoy a pint of Slug Death.
posted by vignettist at 11:41 AM on September 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Welcome to my microbrewpub; please enjoy a pint of Slug Death.
posted by vignettist at 11:41 AM on September 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
My cat is so lazy she brings us dead slugs. She never even graduated to caterpillars, much less mice.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 12:20 PM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 12:20 PM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
As someone who has pet snails, I am more worried about the slug than apparently anyone on that thread. How long has it been in there? How is it breathing? Slugs breathe air and I don't see enough airspace in there. I would open the stopper, turn the iron on its side and put it outside overnight. But that's because I like slugs and want to know that it's safe.
posted by acrasis at 3:47 PM on September 11, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by acrasis at 3:47 PM on September 11, 2017 [5 favorites]
slug death beer
Trademarking now.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:50 PM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Trademarking now.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:50 PM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
That slug beer video is amazing. I could watch that for hours.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:10 PM on September 11, 2017
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 7:10 PM on September 11, 2017
acrasis, despite my confession of serial slug-murder above, I also felt kind of bad for the slug. I don't garden anything that they like to eat these days, so I leave slugs be to get on their way.
I might try finding a stalk of something slug-tasty and threading the base into the water reservoir, to lure the slug out.
posted by tavella at 7:48 PM on September 11, 2017
I might try finding a stalk of something slug-tasty and threading the base into the water reservoir, to lure the slug out.
posted by tavella at 7:48 PM on September 11, 2017
If this happened to me, I'd just stick the iron in the garden, the slug will eventually come out (if it is still capable of doing so). Then I'd just leave the iron there forever since clearly the universe doesn't think I should iron.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:47 AM on September 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:47 AM on September 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Any word on whether the slug escaped?
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:48 PM on September 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:48 PM on September 12, 2017 [2 favorites]
Here's another archive of the comments, copied on the Sammiches and Psych Meds blog.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:42 PM on September 15, 2017
posted by filthy light thief at 8:42 PM on September 15, 2017
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posted by janell at 7:24 PM on September 10, 2017 [5 favorites]