Bearhonker! Do you need assistance?

May 12, 2017 5:27 PM

Near Roanoke, VA a man was surprised to hear honking from his car. He could bearly contain his surprise at what he found.
posted by stannate (29 comments total)

Paging hippybear, paging hippybear!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:32 PM on May 12, 2017 [4 favorites]

Love the announcer's delivery of the line "Maclanahan says he's used to seeing bears in his neighborhood...but never in his car."
posted by loquacious crouton at 5:35 PM on May 12, 2017 [6 favorites]

And they told me Enviro-Bear 2000 was not a realistic simulation of bear behavior.
posted by rodlymight at 5:36 PM on May 12, 2017 [8 favorites]

Suckers. There's no telling what Hair Bear and Square Bear were doing while Bubi distracted them with the old 'honk the car horn at 5 am' trick.
posted by sporkwort at 6:06 PM on May 12, 2017 [7 favorites]

“Smarter than the average....”
posted by Fizz at 6:16 PM on May 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

I have reddit for this, but I like it.
posted by atomicmedia at 6:16 PM on May 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

This is precisely why a game warden shows up every time I use my damn horn.
posted by sonascope at 6:26 PM on May 12, 2017

Did the man not realize that his U-bear had arrived?
posted by not_the_water at 6:29 PM on May 12, 2017 [22 favorites]

When the bear ran away, did he leave his pic-a-nic basket?
posted by ivanthenotsoterrible at 6:37 PM on May 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Paging hippybear, paging hippybear!

One of the photos of the bear in the SUV also makes me think we need to page Martin Gore.
posted by stannate at 6:42 PM on May 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Punchline: And the bear says, "fill 'er up."
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:20 PM on May 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Whenever I find lost humans in the forest, I try to give them directions but they yell and throw things at me. I do usually keep the things.
posted by Cash4Lead at 7:24 PM on May 12, 2017 [17 favorites]

Jalliah, come to the white courtesy phone, Jalliah.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:34 PM on May 12, 2017

Officer Bear?
posted by iamck at 7:40 PM on May 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

I was happy to find out that the bear just ran off and was not shot or whatever. It sounded like the bear was pretty freaked out in the car so I'm glad it just got to go be a bear again.

Don't get me wrong -- this is a delightful story (although, sorry about your car, dude), but I did really begin to worry about the bear.

But the bear has a good story to go tell their bear friends. All is well.
posted by darksong at 7:47 PM on May 12, 2017 [4 favorites]

In other news, this purring engine was more than just a finely-tuned piece of machinery.
posted by bitteroldman at 7:55 PM on May 12, 2017 [3 favorites]

Officer Bear?

Pretty sure it was Bayer, but yeah, I did a bit of a double take as well.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 8:40 PM on May 12, 2017

We are urging police officers to back off more and wait out situations. I think that would be a good tactic for bears stuck in cars. Not beccause I'm all bear lives matters. It's more because there is no way in the world I'd be the person opening the car door and I don't expect that cops feel differently.
posted by rdr at 9:25 PM on May 12, 2017 [1 favorite]

Could've been worse..
posted by Nerd of the North at 9:48 PM on May 12, 2017 [2 favorites]

I kind of thought Metafilter was above Buzzfeed-esque punchline denial clickbait of this kind...
posted by qntm at 3:24 AM on May 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Thank you for this post stannate.
posted by tofu_crouton at 5:41 AM on May 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

Can the bear play drums?
posted by thelonius at 8:37 AM on May 13, 2017

WHO IS DRIVING CAR?

OH NO! BEAR IS DRIVING CAR!

HOW CAN THAT BE!?
posted by Parasite Unseen at 8:51 AM on May 13, 2017 [10 favorites]

I read that as "beerhonker" and imagined some random person driving around, honking, and giving out beer to people who look as if they need it.
posted by carter at 9:48 AM on May 13, 2017

I kind of thought Metafilter was above Buzzfeed-esque punchline denial clickbait of this kind...

Can't bear to see it here?
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:05 AM on May 13, 2017 [3 favorites]

Officer Bear?

Pretty sure it was Bayer, but yeah, I did a bit of a double take as well.

It was Thayer, but it did sound like "Bear" with the reporter's accent, for some reason.
posted by explosion at 10:46 AM on May 13, 2017

I only want to know if this was covered by his insurance.
posted by yeolcoatl at 12:31 PM on May 13, 2017 [2 favorites]

"Take your bear to work day".

At first I thought - that's cheesy. Then I thought, that could really resolve a lot of problems I'm having at work.
posted by Toddles at 5:27 PM on May 13, 2017 [9 favorites]

Bearhonker! would be a fine user name.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:49 PM on May 13, 2017 [2 favorites]