"Remember: if you heard it, no you didn't."
June 30, 2023 8:52 AM   Subscribe

LASS: Latinos against spooky shit! Jonathan Perez Galvan, the TikTok creator whose videos often go viral, explains why "A scary movie with Latinos in it wouldn’t last an hour and a half. It would be more like five minutes."

A YouTube link of his shorts if you don't want to go on TikTok!

I posted this because this is full on giving me joy this week, as well as reminding me of my tiny Mexican grandmother.
posted by Kitteh (19 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is Julio Torres, Fred Armisen, and Ana Fabrega's fault.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 9:19 AM on June 30, 2023 [7 favorites]


Timely, one of his classics recently started a recirculation round on Tumblr.
posted by EvaDestruction at 9:20 AM on June 30, 2023 [2 favorites]


Tell me you weren’t in the Los Angeles goth scene in the 90s without saying you weren’t in the Los Angeles goth scene in the 90s. Latinos are the spookiest.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 9:25 AM on June 30, 2023 [17 favorites]


"Los espookies" has become a household term for us.
posted by gc at 9:43 AM on June 30, 2023 [10 favorites]


We love his stuff! "If you think you saw something no you didn't"
posted by Captain_Science at 9:58 AM on June 30, 2023 [5 favorites]


Buenos tardes
posted by BlunderingArtist at 10:04 AM on June 30, 2023


"If you disobey me, the devil (or El Cucuy, or La LLorona, or etc) will come into your room at night and drag your your soul to hell" is the main tool in the parenting toolbox of Latino mothers and grandmothers the world over. Or, if they are a real piece of shit, the family member in question would say it was their (the family member's) soul that would get dragged to hell, not the kid's.

My Mexican ex-wife practically had a nervous breakdown every time our house settled and she heard a sound at night. As a toddler, her mother would start writhing on the ground and tell her "it's happening!" if my ex didn't want to go down for nap, or whatever. In fact, when she heard that boys would pull her out her car and rape her to death if she stayed out too late without her brother/father to look after her (also a major tool in the toolbox), it was actually better since at least the she would be violated and murdered by flesh and blood humans.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 10:30 AM on June 30, 2023 [4 favorites]


All that to say, this dude seems to have had a mother like my ex-wife's.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 10:31 AM on June 30, 2023


If you disobey me, the devil (or El Cucuy, or La LLorona, or etc) will come into your room at night and drag your your soul to hell

They made La LLorona into a boring horror movie a few years ago.

I think it would be funny if Ouija Boards were actually dangerous, like Parker Brothers has some 'evil magic' in their board game factory they dip them in to, but that's the only thing magical in our entire world.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:36 AM on June 30, 2023 [1 favorite]


Now my face may appear in the dictionary right next to the word gabacho but I can't really disagree about the utility of fabuloso. Good stuff.

Are there actually flavors other than purple?

like Parker Brothers has some 'evil magic' in their board game factory they dip them in to

It's osolubaf and they spray it on.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:06 AM on June 30, 2023 [2 favorites]


They made La LLorona into a boring horror movie a few years ago.

In addition to the [admitted bad] version you linked to, there was also this one (also from 2019), which was pretty darn good.
posted by not just everyday big moggies at 11:10 AM on June 30, 2023 [5 favorites]


One of the stories we heard every Christmas was the time my mother saw La Llorona as a child. And the one where my grandmother was out burning garbage early in the mornings (this was the 40s, y'all) and was chased back into the house by a bruja in the shape of a large owl. And another one is that I had a deer's eye tied around my wrist after I was born because I was the first grandchild with blue eyes and my grandmother didn't want someone to give me the Evil Eye. (There is a v cute picture of me as a baby with that deer's eye charm around my lil chubby wrist.) Or the time my mother got sick as a child and my grandma took her to a cunandero for healing (it worked).
posted by Kitteh at 11:18 AM on June 30, 2023 [8 favorites]


Jenna Ortega only just became a star for Wednesday
posted by Apocryphon at 12:03 PM on June 30, 2023


If you see something, say nothing and drink to forget. (Nightvale)
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:13 PM on June 30, 2023


Beep-bee-- oh.
posted by k3ninho at 3:16 PM on June 30, 2023


I loved this so much and shared it far and wide. Gracias, Kitteh!
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 4:20 PM on June 30, 2023


> like Parker Brothers has some 'evil magic' in their board game factory they dip them in to

They don't have any left over after using it up on the Monopoly sets.
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:55 PM on June 30, 2023 [3 favorites]


Isn t the Mexican horror film ' The Fiend without a Face' supposed to be a schlock master piece
posted by Narrative_Historian at 2:26 AM on July 2, 2023


I love this man. Any time someone kind posts his videos on Tumblr so I don't have to venture into the TikTok, aka the spookiest place on the internet for me, I am delighted. I also use "los espookies" whenever I can.
posted by The Adventure Begins at 10:46 PM on July 10, 2023


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