The Variety of Designs is Unbelievable

August 4, 2023 7:11 AM

Welcome the world largest Online Toaster Exhibition... The revelation that somebody collects toasters often leads to the same reaction: awkward pause, nervous laugh, then: "...Toasters?" The problem is not, to collect toasters. The problem is, to have hundreds of them. The result: They simply call you crazy. Well, and sometimes I think they are right! [Toast, previously]
posted by chavenet (45 comments total)

Let's all raise a glass to this person's incredible collection and dedication!

I know there's a word for when you do that... What's is it? Cheersing?
posted by The Bellman at 7:17 AM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

As someone who adores looking at properly collated collections of things that, most people not only don't collect, but deem uncollectable - I say a heartfelt THANK YOU for this post.
posted by Faintdreams at 7:36 AM on August 4, 2023 [5 favorites]

This is wonderful! But, do any of them fly?
posted by TedW at 7:42 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

I'm sure that they're horrifically dangerous but I really like the look of the AEG ones from the first half of the 20th century
posted by dismas at 7:47 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

I was a little surprised not to see later-model Dualits in the collection; the early ones are certainly gorgeous in their way, but even the more modern ones show a strong, solid, nostalgic design that suggests what's really warming your bread is the combined industrial wisdom of eighty years of toasting.
posted by mittens at 7:49 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

I'm sure that they're horrifically dangerous but I really like the look of the AEG ones from the first half of the 20th century

Yes, you can sometimes find them on ebay. I'd never use them for actual toasting but I've often thought they'd make a nifty display piece.
posted by praemunire at 7:57 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

I will only use a toaster that utilizes an Android app.
posted by SoberHighland at 8:01 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

What is an “online toaster”
posted by glaucon at 8:05 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

Ah, lovely and soothing. Excellent post! I wish I could purchase one of these old versions.

My toaster, which was not chosen by me, requires RESETTING after each power outage so it doesn't make a startling beeping sound when the toast is ready. And I found out the other day by accident (guess how i found this out) that it has a "toast forever" mode, where it just keeps toasting until you smack the toast-raising switch in angered urgency to avoid it catching on fire.

(Not that some of these old ones don't also look like fire hazards.)
posted by Vatnesine at 8:11 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

So pretty, so dangerous.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:15 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

What is an “online toaster”

Banks are all computerized now, and most peoples' "money" is a debit or credit card, right? So an online toaster is for toasting your digital bread, man!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:39 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

My great-uncle did the same thing but with lawnmowers.

He wasn't well.

Then again, maybe he just hadn't found his audience.
posted by gurple at 8:42 AM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

I would totally go to a lawnmower museum. I think I might even travel to go to a lawnmower museum.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:52 AM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

What is an “online toaster”
AURAL SYSTEM: ON LINE
posted by zamboni at 8:59 AM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

I feel like toasters are a good example of technology declining over time. We have purchased several toasters in the last few years including the Consumer Reports recommended best buy - they all toasted unevenly. Do Not Recommend using an air fryer as a toaster. Super slow.
posted by latkes at 9:08 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

My dad recommended the song “Toast” by Streetband for the soundtrack to this post
posted by glaucon at 9:09 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Mittens, I'm not sure if you're quoting Alec from the YT series "Technology Connections" but it sure sounds like his copy.
posted by now i'm piste at 9:36 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

Last update was 2008, at the time they still had 393 items not yet in the web museum. i feel like that would weigh on a person.
posted by Dr. Twist at 9:38 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

They're probably busy eating toast.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:40 AM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]

I love how tiny the website is. On my laptop, the content part of the site is about the size of a piece of toast. I suppose that means if the size of the average piece of toast grew at the same rate as screen resolutions, a piece of toast today would be the size of my laptop.
posted by snofoam at 9:44 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

But can any of them fly?
posted by fairmettle at 10:06 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

This is wonderful! But, do any of them fly?

But can any of them fly?

Both of you know very well that, like bats, toasters only fly after dark.
posted by zamboni at 10:16 AM on August 4, 2023 [13 favorites]

This right here is why the good lord invented the internet.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:18 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

I'm not sure if you're quoting Alec from the YT series "Technology Connections"

Oh gosh, so, I haven't seen his toaster one (will watch it soon though!), but the other day when I was having dishwasher trouble I remembered that he had a video about dishwashers (I might've seen it here?), but I couldn't remember his name or channel, and couldn't find the FPP I thought I remembered, and fumbled through youtube without ever finding him! So yay, now I can bookmark him!
posted by mittens at 10:26 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

Now I want some toast, dammit.
posted by Phanx at 10:35 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

What is an “online toaster”

A toaster with a better firewall
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:35 AM on August 4, 2023 [4 favorites]

Why is the famous Sunbeam Radiant Control Toaster missing?
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:40 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

At some point I went all rabbit hole on toasters trying to find the one true toaster that would last and was capables of actually getting the last bit of shaky crumb bits out and made to be the toaster of my grand childrens childrens. And then my ex gave me one that came with free toaster streudals and that has been the go to for like 15 years. I'm glad to see someone had the stick-to-it-of-ness to go full toaster.
posted by MonsieurPEB at 10:40 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Years ago, I stumbled upon an exhibition of the history of the toaster in the City Museum, in St Louis Missouri. I had never given much thought to toasters before, and the one part that really blew my mind was that early electric toasters only toasted one side of the bread and then you had to flip the bread around to do the other side. The next step in toaster design was toasters with a crank you would turn that would flip the bread in a little bread cage!

Also, this site reminds me of how the web used to be. Hand crafted little projects that would keep on ticking forever (minus the Flash player based videos...) What a delight not to have 38G of javascript and crap for my ad blocker to do.
posted by advicepig at 10:52 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

A toaster with a better firewall

418 I'm a teapot
posted by zamboni at 11:19 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

As God is my witness, I thought toasters could fly.
posted by praemunire at 11:26 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

The recently linked Doctorow story "Unauthorized Bread" might fit here: Arstechnica copy of the story.
posted by jellywerker at 12:03 PM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

i'm a toaster oven guy (came from a toaster oven family, and begat a toaster oven family). anyone with me?
posted by rude.boy at 12:26 PM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

I'm not seeing the cylon model.
posted by clavdivs at 12:50 PM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

I wanted to get into toaster collecting, but I just didn’t have the bread.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:53 PM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

Toaster ovens are inferior for toasting bread. They take much longer per cycle, and, critically, don't leave the centre of the bread still mostly soft. Really good toast has the browning on the outside but you could part the toast with a knife because it was still just warm bread in the middle. I don't want biscotti, I just want tasty-tasty Maillard reactions and a surface that won't collapse when I scrape butter and jam across it. (I have a toaster oven and it sucks for toast, but is awesome for just about everything else oven-related. I don't have a toaster because [screaming inside] I can't eat toast because gluten.)
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:56 PM on August 4, 2023 [5 favorites]

You could say your dreams of eating toast are...toast.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:45 PM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

when I primarily cook breakfasts, id get a lot of orders that requested burnt toast and well done bacon over hard eggs. To this day I'm not quite sure why people would want to order burnt toast. my only theory is, since they were older customers, is that that's what they had in the morning working on the farm, burnt toast, bacon and whatnot.
posted by clavdivs at 2:41 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

i'm a toaster oven guy (came from a toaster oven family, and begat a toaster oven family). anyone with me?

Back in my drinking days, “TOASTER OVENS!” was a regular battle cry on Saturday nights.

I don’t remember why.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:48 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Also, I love that this site’s toaster photography features bespoke-toasted slices with each toaster. You don’t see that sort of attention to detail and aesthetics every day.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:52 PM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]

My toaster broke like 15 years ago and I started roasting bread on a skillet. Now I am used to toasting bread first, making sure the skillet is hot, and then the rest of the breakfast.

Sometimes I add butter. Would this be toast or fry?

This museum brings me joy, and now I want a good old heavy toaster with no microcontrollers, but properly grounded and safe to touch.
posted by Dr. Curare at 3:35 PM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

“I'm not sure if you're quoting Alec from the YT series 'Technology Connections'”

I love that guy. I watched the entire hour of his video on the cheap fridge he bought.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 5:21 PM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

this is indeed exactly what the Internet is for and it's been so long since i've seen a site of this particular nature that seeing it was, like, manna from heaven. more toaster museums! more elaborate trainspotting guides on gray backgrounds! more detailed documentation of every brand and model of smoke alarm the author sees!
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 4:21 AM on August 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

> I'm not seeing the cylon model.

Found the red dwarf model.
posted by sebastienbailard at 4:33 AM on August 5, 2023 [2 favorites]

A toaster collection? I mean, if that's your jam.
posted by thecincinnatikid at 8:35 AM on August 5, 2023 [2 favorites]