“We were told by his assistant he doesn’t do paintings like that"
May 11, 2024 1:05 PM Subscribe
WaPo gift link: Inside the surreal world of $20,000 pet portraits THIS GETS EXTREMELY WEIRD, features Alan Tudyk getting ESPECIALLY weird with his choice of pet portraits. (Disclaimer: gory descriptions within.)
“We just wanted something that showed [the dogs] victorious over our idea of their enemies,” Tudyk explained.... During walks with Lola, Aunt Clara and Raisin, he would envision that bloody scene in such detail that he is very clear on how, exactly, these tiny dogs would have subdued their much larger victims."
Previously on Metafilter: guinea pig portraiture.
“We just wanted something that showed [the dogs] victorious over our idea of their enemies,” Tudyk explained.... During walks with Lola, Aunt Clara and Raisin, he would envision that bloody scene in such detail that he is very clear on how, exactly, these tiny dogs would have subdued their much larger victims."
Previously on Metafilter: guinea pig portraiture.
ALAN TUDYK WINS FOR THE WEEK
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:23 PM on May 11 [9 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:23 PM on May 11 [9 favorites]
Holy fuck
posted by Small Dollar at 1:41 PM on May 11
posted by Small Dollar at 1:41 PM on May 11
Most of these are in the realm of "okay, you love your little buddy, do as you will," but the Odalisque one is a little terrifying.
posted by praemunire at 1:59 PM on May 11
posted by praemunire at 1:59 PM on May 11
I have two friends who do pet portraits and I thought of them both as I clicked the link and lo and behold! They’re both mentioned here and one gets interviewed. So cool.
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 2:15 PM on May 11 [5 favorites]
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 2:15 PM on May 11 [5 favorites]
I was ready to say "you people have too much money" but honestly Alan Tudyk's commission rules. Actually, I like these. This is fine.
posted by Rudy_Wiser at 2:26 PM on May 11 [12 favorites]
posted by Rudy_Wiser at 2:26 PM on May 11 [12 favorites]
But where oh where is the "cat posed like a Dirk Diggler-style ’70s porn star"?
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 2:37 PM on May 11 [5 favorites]
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 2:37 PM on May 11 [5 favorites]
My already strong fondness for Alan Tudyk just increased 100000%. Those artists have the absolute dream job.
posted by supermedusa at 2:54 PM on May 11 [5 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 2:54 PM on May 11 [5 favorites]
I feel like there's a whole realm of feral furry artists who might want to hone their skills just a tiny bit more. They're currently getting maybe $60 for a work.
posted by hippybear at 3:24 PM on May 11 [3 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 3:24 PM on May 11 [3 favorites]
another owner requested a painting of their pet beaver lounging on a sofa eating strawberries.
Not a bad day for a beaver.
From the FPP text I thought these would be terrible, but they were all actually really sweet.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:30 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
Not a bad day for a beaver.
From the FPP text I thought these would be terrible, but they were all actually really sweet.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:30 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
Because I am a person who decided 18ish months ago to watch all the animated Disney theatrical releases (with some caveats -- no sequels, except for Rescuerers Down Under, no animated/live-action hybrids. I forget what else. It made sense), Alan Tudyk is now the top actor in movies I've watched this year.
Given the description of what he wanted the painting to be, I kind of feared the worst but the finished product is actually really great. It's moving and kind of beautiful.
I'd much rather people with money to commission artists for weird art than doing anything else. I've happily commissioned some artists for some art and they've always been delightfully responsive to my requests. These haven't been full-on oil paintings or anything but it's still been a lot of fun. If you have the money, I recommend it!
posted by edencosmic at 3:42 PM on May 11 [2 favorites]
Given the description of what he wanted the painting to be, I kind of feared the worst but the finished product is actually really great. It's moving and kind of beautiful.
I'd much rather people with money to commission artists for weird art than doing anything else. I've happily commissioned some artists for some art and they've always been delightfully responsive to my requests. These haven't been full-on oil paintings or anything but it's still been a lot of fun. If you have the money, I recommend it!
posted by edencosmic at 3:42 PM on May 11 [2 favorites]
Because I am a person who decided 18ish months ago to watch all the animated Disney theatrical releases (with some caveats -- no sequels, except for Rescuerers Down Under, no animated/live-action hybrids. I forget what else. It made sense), Alan Tudyk is now the top actor in movies I've watched this year.
So if we move this to live action and in the Seventies, Alan Tudyk is Ken Berry?
posted by hippybear at 3:46 PM on May 11 [2 favorites]
So if we move this to live action and in the Seventies, Alan Tudyk is Ken Berry?
posted by hippybear at 3:46 PM on May 11 [2 favorites]
I confess it. I have commissioned portraits of my pets. But I paid, like, $50 including a sizable tip to a digital artist that normally does people D&D characters. This is next-level shit.
posted by agentofselection at 3:55 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
posted by agentofselection at 3:55 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
One idea, a portrait of his 14-year-old “terrier/poodle/chihuahua/goddess” mix Raisin holding a box of matches in front of a burning school
Wait so did this one never get painted? I'm so disappointed!
posted by cnidaria at 4:04 PM on May 11 [2 favorites]
Wait so did this one never get painted? I'm so disappointed!
posted by cnidaria at 4:04 PM on May 11 [2 favorites]
If the article hadn’t incudes the celebrity client’s name, Tudyk would have been on of my first picks.
Imagine what Johnny Depp would commission (shudder)
posted by gottabefunky at 4:05 PM on May 11
Imagine what Johnny Depp would commission (shudder)
posted by gottabefunky at 4:05 PM on May 11
From the FPP text I thought these would be terrible, but they were all actually really sweet.
I wasn't sure how people would deal with the Tudyk one, figured I should give a warning if that's a problem. But yes, some are sweet and I want that 70's pimp one too.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:09 PM on May 11
I wasn't sure how people would deal with the Tudyk one, figured I should give a warning if that's a problem. But yes, some are sweet and I want that 70's pimp one too.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:09 PM on May 11
I’m trying to figure out what’s surreal about any of this tbh. Original oil paintings are expensive even if you aren’t commissioning them directly. Like yeah a large high-quality oil painting of five dogs is going to cost 7k. I feel like the author only thinks it’s weird because they’re people’s pets? Whereas if it’s just a dog from the artist’s head then it’s more arty and worth more. Which idk you can value art that way but I took oil painting in college and I know how long that shit takes. I still regret not paying $250 for a tiny oil painting of a unicorn balloon I saw in a gallery show five years ago.
Actually once in college we had the president of the Republican student group send out an e-mail to all the art students to commission a large oil painting portrait of himself. He wanted to spend up to $150 on a 40x30 painting. I sent him a polite e-mail back letting him know that he might want to up his budget because many artists price by the square inch and I’d seen prices ranging from [whatever it was 10 years ago] so a painting in that size was going to be in the thousands. He thanked me for the information, continued circulating his ad for a $150 40x30 oil painting commission. Didn’t get it as far as I know.
I feel like there's a whole realm of feral furry artists who might want to hone their skills just a tiny bit more. They're currently getting maybe $60 for a work.
Praxis is overpaying artists who are underpricing their work. Brb finding a feral furry artist to foist $120 on to paint my cat. (Currently doing that with someone in my social group who charges $15 for FULL-BODY, FULL-COLOR CHARACTER PORTRAITS! I am planning on tipping more than double the base price.)
posted by brook horse at 4:19 PM on May 11 [3 favorites]
Actually once in college we had the president of the Republican student group send out an e-mail to all the art students to commission a large oil painting portrait of himself. He wanted to spend up to $150 on a 40x30 painting. I sent him a polite e-mail back letting him know that he might want to up his budget because many artists price by the square inch and I’d seen prices ranging from [whatever it was 10 years ago] so a painting in that size was going to be in the thousands. He thanked me for the information, continued circulating his ad for a $150 40x30 oil painting commission. Didn’t get it as far as I know.
I feel like there's a whole realm of feral furry artists who might want to hone their skills just a tiny bit more. They're currently getting maybe $60 for a work.
Praxis is overpaying artists who are underpricing their work. Brb finding a feral furry artist to foist $120 on to paint my cat. (Currently doing that with someone in my social group who charges $15 for FULL-BODY, FULL-COLOR CHARACTER PORTRAITS! I am planning on tipping more than double the base price.)
posted by brook horse at 4:19 PM on May 11 [3 favorites]
(Currently doing that with someone in my social group who charges $15 for FULL-BODY, FULL-COLOR CHARACTER PORTRAITS! I am planning on tipping more than double the base price.)
I routinely pay double or triple the price asked if I feel like they are undercharging for their work. I keep trying to educate them to realize... your talents are worth more than this.
posted by hippybear at 4:21 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
I routinely pay double or triple the price asked if I feel like they are undercharging for their work. I keep trying to educate them to realize... your talents are worth more than this.
posted by hippybear at 4:21 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
Funny. A portrait of our Great Dane is being produced. Something my partner one. Dog is a beautiful Blue Dane, and very popular. He's a good karma machine. He makes so many people feel good. It's amazing. People stop their cars in the street to roll down windows and say "hi", cuz they know him already. We live in the center of town.
posted by Goofyy at 4:40 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
posted by Goofyy at 4:40 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
So Goofyy's movements are tracked by local law enforcement because he creates traffic hazards without warning everywhere he goes. :P
posted by hippybear at 4:43 PM on May 11
posted by hippybear at 4:43 PM on May 11
It is interesting that animal painting seems to have become "odd," given the success of painters like Edwin Landseer in the nineteenth century. (Is it the association with figural painting, which makes it seem too traditionalist?) And arguably one of the greatest English portrait paintings of the eighteenth century is of a horse.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:04 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
posted by thomas j wise at 5:04 PM on May 11 [1 favorite]
It is interesting that animal painting seems to have become "odd," given the success of painters like Edwin Landseer in the nineteenth century.
Just BSing, but I suspect that the increased sentimentalization of nature generally led to an increased sentimentalization of art about animals which did not correspond well to the values of twentieth-century art. It's actually rather difficult to find stand-alone portraits of animals from the early modern period, even pets (I once did an Ask about this); they appear as symbols or as attributes of a portrait subject or in nature scenes. But Western Europe's relationship with nature changed, such that you can get the goopy Victorian stuff with the "gleam of loyalty in the spaniel's eye" that got tossed out along with the rest of the era.
posted by praemunire at 5:39 PM on May 11
Just BSing, but I suspect that the increased sentimentalization of nature generally led to an increased sentimentalization of art about animals which did not correspond well to the values of twentieth-century art. It's actually rather difficult to find stand-alone portraits of animals from the early modern period, even pets (I once did an Ask about this); they appear as symbols or as attributes of a portrait subject or in nature scenes. But Western Europe's relationship with nature changed, such that you can get the goopy Victorian stuff with the "gleam of loyalty in the spaniel's eye" that got tossed out along with the rest of the era.
posted by praemunire at 5:39 PM on May 11
Alan Tudyk is a national treasure and I hope secretly he's one of MeFi's own.
posted by kokaku at 7:25 PM on May 11 [3 favorites]
posted by kokaku at 7:25 PM on May 11 [3 favorites]
This way, way oversells how "weird" the Tudyk painting is. It's a memorial painting of what dogs might do in dog heaven: living wild like wolves.
posted by The Tensor at 11:14 PM on May 11 [6 favorites]
posted by The Tensor at 11:14 PM on May 11 [6 favorites]
Tudyk's dogs look like they're in dog Valhalla.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:13 AM on May 12 [3 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:13 AM on May 12 [3 favorites]
Fantastic to see that the people who have made Jeff Koons what he is also get to do real art in their off-time.
And 100% on find your favorite feral furry artist and pay them 3x what they quote you.
posted by straw at 8:53 AM on May 12
And 100% on find your favorite feral furry artist and pay them 3x what they quote you.
posted by straw at 8:53 AM on May 12
My favorite line from the horse maternity shoot article is "Jorgensen hopes their foals will be a huge source of joy in her life.".
They will be a huge time suck and they will eat a shitton more food than you're expecting them to eat and they will cost you unexpected amounts of money and they might require you to get more space for your now-expanding herd of horses...
But I'm sure you thought of all that and that's part of the "joy" you're picturing.
posted by hippybear at 6:52 PM on May 12 [2 favorites]
They will be a huge time suck and they will eat a shitton more food than you're expecting them to eat and they will cost you unexpected amounts of money and they might require you to get more space for your now-expanding herd of horses...
But I'm sure you thought of all that and that's part of the "joy" you're picturing.
posted by hippybear at 6:52 PM on May 12 [2 favorites]
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The closest we have to a pet commission is that our late beloved calico girl is forever featured as the Queen of Cups in the Cute Cat Tarot. Long may it stay in print. (Of course, the Kickstarter tier for that did include the print for framing.)
posted by Kitteh at 1:15 PM on May 11 [10 favorites]