Free speech for the shy or self-conscious

June 14, 2005 4:09 PM

What would you say, given one free minute of anonymous, uncensored speech? via Wired
posted by pmbuko (49 comments total)

fuck bush.
posted by quonsar at 4:12 PM on June 14, 2005

just once, or would you repeat youself for the entire minute?
posted by pmbuko at 4:14 PM on June 14, 2005

fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush fuck bush
posted by quonsar at 4:15 PM on June 14, 2005

and fuck tom cruise, too.
posted by quonsar at 4:17 PM on June 14, 2005

this sculpture sucks!!! or something along those lines.....lasting a minute.
posted by lemonfridge at 4:18 PM on June 14, 2005

or "help!!! heeeeelp! im stuck inside a sculpture!!"
posted by lemonfridge at 4:19 PM on June 14, 2005

kind of a nifty idea, though we aren't really living in an age that's lacking in public forums. still, i like art that encourages expression...
posted by es_de_bah at 4:20 PM on June 14, 2005

All your base are belong to us.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:24 PM on June 14, 2005

Yeah, because that scratchpad thing worked out so well.
posted by sohcahtoa at 4:31 PM on June 14, 2005

It would be better if it didn't blast that fucking ringtone along with the messages.

Also, I like its Dr. Seuss looks.
posted by interrobang at 4:40 PM on June 14, 2005

I would yell, STOP COPYING OTHER PEOPLE'S WORK!
posted by R. Mutt at 4:42 PM on June 14, 2005

But it's not uncensored.

Hate speech directed towards individuals or identifiable groups, as well as threats, gets deleted. Most speech is OK as long as you don't use 'fighting words'.
posted by thirteenkiller at 4:57 PM on June 14, 2005

Eat at Joe's.
posted by drezdn at 5:01 PM on June 14, 2005

R.Mutt, I want one of those installed in front of the White House.
posted by pmbuko at 5:06 PM on June 14, 2005

Almost, pbbuko. The last time it was shown, during the election, it was in Foley Square in Lower Manhattan, nestled between the bustling federal, state, and city courthouses.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:14 PM on June 14, 2005

BUCK FUSH! BUCK FUSH! BUCK FUSH! DYSLEXICS, UNTIE!

Eat. At. Oe's?
posted by loquacious at 5:17 PM on June 14, 2005

meh. I can't get the recorded ones to play.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 5:24 PM on June 14, 2005

Snorkeling's fine. So is spelunking. Just don't try "spelorkeling." It's a really bad idea. [repeat ad infinitum]
posted by brundlefly at 5:26 PM on June 14, 2005

"What would you say, given one free minute of anonymous, uncensored speech?'

Uh... I thought I was doing that now (not really, actual info is in my profile, but my sock puppets do it every day).
posted by cedar at 5:29 PM on June 14, 2005

Screw all ya'll!

*not the people here, but just everyone in general. i'm an equal opportunity hater*
posted by Sharktattoo at 5:41 PM on June 14, 2005

*I mean, last time this was shown, in 2004, it was in Foley Square in Lower Manhattan, nestled between the bustling federal, state, and city courthouses.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:42 PM on June 14, 2005

I'd say something that would normally result in a visit from people you don't want to be visited by.
posted by keswick at 5:45 PM on June 14, 2005

I'd say something that would normally result in a visit from people you don't want to be visited by.
posted by keswick at 5:45 PM on June 14, 2005

Won't be long until negative political statements are viewed as hate-speech and protected against under the law.
posted by nightchrome at 6:11 PM on June 14, 2005

You can get anything you want, at alice's resturant...
posted by thebestsophist at 6:37 PM on June 14, 2005

I'd say something that would normally result in a visit from people you don't want to be visited by.

And then you'd say it a second time.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:41 PM on June 14, 2005

STELLA FERNBOTTOM IS TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOU
posted by quonsar at 6:45 PM on June 14, 2005

"Wake the fuck up. Life is more than consumerism, how wide a set of rims you can put on your car. Wealth is the power to command labor in the future -- conserve your capital and don't blow it on crap that doesn't improve your life. Time is a form of capital too, and it's the one thing that we all have a very fixed supply of. Be a producer and not just a consumer. Expand your abilities and share your talents with others. Seek to make the world not just better for yourself and your loved ones, but everyone you meet. There is no heaven, and there is no hell, the only impact you will have on this universe is the moral strengthening you impart to others."

That'll do for a first pass.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 6:52 PM on June 14, 2005

*claps for Heywood Mogroot*

Now if only we didn't need an idiotic-looking wheely cart with a plastic megaphone on it to make us feel entitled to free speech. Is the "free speech wagon" the rolling oxygen bar of the future?
posted by squirrel at 6:58 PM on June 14, 2005

"You're not a bad person. But why are you being such a dick lately? We all get selfish if we're not careful. But you can get better, I know it. I believe in you. You don't have minimize your environmental impact or give your Jaguar to the poor. But pay a little more attention to other people's feelings. Be a little gentler, a little more generous? Tip heavily, at least. I mean, it's four extra bucks. It's just more practical to give it to the waitress, who's broke, than to keep it. You don't need that five bucks. You don't need to work out on the weekend, either. Some manual labor, maybe at the local homeless shelter, will keep you fit. And hell, you could earn a tax deduction. Just think about it, all right? Anyway, I'm gonna go squawk 'fuck Bush' in your boss's face for a minute. Stay sweet."
posted by NickDouglas at 7:07 PM on June 14, 2005

*more claps*
posted by pointilist at 7:27 PM on June 14, 2005

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us. In much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.

Kind of a surreal thing to come from a machine I think. Or some Tristan Tzara ("abolition of logic, dance of those who are incapable of creation: DADA; every hierarchy and social equation established for values by our valets," etc)
- any of this in a Les Claypool "Tommy the Cat" voice of course.

So that or masters of war by Dylan.
posted by Smedleyman at 7:51 PM on June 14, 2005

"So you're a Christian? Do you really love Jesus and have a personal relationship with him? Do you really believe what Jesus told us in his Sermon on the Mount? When He preached, 'Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy..../Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven', did you really listen? Are you really a Christian?

"If you really are a Christian, if you really believe in what Jesus preached, I want you to imagine Jesus. I want you to imagine Jesus beaten and mocked through the streets of Jerusalem by the Roman centurions. I want you to imagine His blood and His welts and His lacerations at the hands of Pilate. I want you to imagine His pain and His agony as He was nailed to the cross, His long ordeal as he hung there, dying slowing as the hot sun beat down on His wrecked, ruined body.

"I want you to feel the horrible torments Jesus suffered on your behalf, to take your sins away. I want you imagine the enormity of Jesus's suffering.

"And then I want you to imagine the American centurions beating and spitting on and 'water-boarding' and torturing prisoners in Bagram Afghanistan, in Abu Ghraib, in Guatanamo Bay. I want you to imagine wretched prisoners being tortured by your government -- your Pontius Pilate -- with your acquiescence. And then I want you to ask yourself a simple question: who is more Christ-like, the American torturer or his Muslim victim?

"And when you go to your church this Sunday and you pray to Jesus for His forgiveness and mercy, ask yourself this: do you stand with Jesus or with Pilate?"
posted by orthogonality at 7:51 PM on June 14, 2005

Depends on who has better snacks.
posted by squirrel at 8:05 PM on June 14, 2005

ortho, unfortunately the christianists can revert to O.T. smitings of various enemies of God. And despite what Bush said wrt them worshiping the same deity, the christianists really believe the muslims are following a pagan idol and that YHWH can beat up Allah, with JHC doing a number on Mohammed (PBUH) WWE-team style.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 8:09 PM on June 14, 2005

What would you say, given one free minute of anonymous, uncensored speech?

"this is good"
posted by Hands of Manos at 8:38 PM on June 14, 2005

"Is this on?

Hello? Hello?

Check one, two three. Three. One Two Three

Check... Check One. Check ONE, TWO THREE!

Check Check Check.

One, Two, Three.

Can I get come more volume in the foldback speaker. Bit more, bit more. Yeah. Perfect.

All right, what I want to say is..."

....your one minute is over.
posted by drinkmaildave at 9:20 PM on June 14, 2005

What would you say, given one free minute of anonymous, uncensored speech?

AMERICA! THIS IS JOHN GALT SPEAKING.

THERE IS SOMETHING YOU NEED VERY MUCH TO HEAR, AND IT IS AS FOLLOWS.








Fuck Bush.

THAT IS ALL.
posted by soyjoy at 9:55 PM on June 14, 2005

But quonsar and soyjoy, it's not Bush, it's the multinational ruling class. This is why oswalding Shrub would be a pointless waste.
posted by davy at 10:48 PM on June 14, 2005

What would I say were I not censored for a minute?

Why, I'd say [CENSORED]. Why do you ask?
posted by JHarris at 12:52 AM on June 15, 2005

"The speech produced by the speaker can be heard clearly more than 150 feet away from the sculpture. "

In Columbus, Ohio.

Yay.

I am not dying to say anything to the few people who happen to be within 150 feet of a noisy cell phone for one minute in Columbus, Ohio. Considering the noise pollution it makes, I hope no one really calls this thing.
posted by pracowity at 1:32 AM on June 15, 2005

But quonsar and soyjoy, it's not Bush, it's the multinational ruling class. This is why oswalding Shrub would be a pointless waste.

But, would it be a wointless paste?
posted by squirrel at 4:34 AM on June 15, 2005

I'd re-teach people the old and simple trick of making a lethal weapon out of botulism, encourage them to use it with anyone "in charge", and see what happens.

My hope is we could at least get rid of Tom Cruise.
posted by dong_resin at 4:34 AM on June 15, 2005

You are educated stupid! Time has four dimensions! Time is cubed!
posted by klangklangston at 6:01 AM on June 15, 2005

Nothing. Actions speak louder than words.
posted by Eideteker at 6:20 AM on June 15, 2005

Four dimensions, but onlly to the third power, klang?
posted by squirrel at 6:20 AM on June 15, 2005

Oh, I'm sorry, this thing is in Columbus? In that case, forget what I offered before. What I would say is this:



GO EAST! GO EAST! THE DAM HAS BROKE!




Also: Fuck Bush.
posted by soyjoy at 7:33 AM on June 15, 2005

Hate speech directed towards individuals or identifiable groups, as well as threats, gets deleted. Most speech is OK as long as you don't use 'fighting words'.

I'd repeat that for a minute.
posted by pterodactyler at 11:35 AM on June 15, 2005

The bible was written by men to preserve power for men. If you allow yourself to believe in laws and rules that make you a second class citizen, then you deserve to be a second class citizen.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:07 PM on June 15, 2005