I for one welcome our new "Controllers"

February 29, 2008 12:00 PM

It's official. The aliens are coming. In 2017. Turns out they might like The Beatles after all. The UN is on the case. The Hindus are going to be especially upset.
posted by monospace (21 comments total)

I think a part of me believes that this was the original reason for the Internet.
posted by dobie at 12:25 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

I want my minute back.
posted by ersatz at 12:44 PM on February 29, 2008

Apparently the Japanese aren't sure if, under the 1947 constitution, they could legally use the JDF to defend Japan against an invasion by aliens.
posted by Class Goat at 12:46 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

First 2010 was the year we were supposed to make contact, then it was 2013, THEN it was 2017. Next it's gonna be 2020, then it's never going to happen at all. I'm getting very impatient.
posted by fnerg at 12:47 PM on February 29, 2008

Goddammit, I want my raygun already!
posted by BorgLove at 12:48 PM on February 29, 2008 [2 favorites]

An interview with the "trusted sources". Via "New Realities", YouTube's foremost "cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" discussion program. See also his groundbreaking talk with Julia Ciaccio about "tailgating as a spiritual practice for serving humanity."
posted by Rhaomi at 12:49 PM on February 29, 2008

I, for one, am going to horde milk, let it spoil but good, and then open a bar.*
posted by not_on_display at 1:15 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Think of it as like those crazy predictions of the date of The Rapture, but for atheists.
posted by wendell at 1:16 PM on February 29, 2008

Goddammit, I want my raygun already!

Unfortunately, you can have it.
posted by cashman at 1:17 PM on February 29, 2008

Think of it as like those crazy predictions of the date of The Rapture, but for atheists.

The aliens are waiting on the rapture to thin out our numbers. But that can't happen until the New World Order is established. That isn't possible until a new single currency is in place to facilitate simple trade between all nations. That's only going to be set back if the next president doesn't support nafta. Vote McCain if you want to meet aliens!!!
posted by Gary at 1:28 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

The Canadians were on top of this years ago.
posted by mullingitover at 1:30 PM on February 29, 2008

I hope everything is in black and white when they come.
posted by quin at 1:44 PM on February 29, 2008

John Titor told me this is true.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 2:20 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

Dammit, I keep telling people that the aliens landed in 1999, conquered everything, probed all of our brains, stole the world's entire supply of transmogrium, and went back where they came from, but everybody tells me "You're crazy, I don't remember that." Of course you don't, you fool! THEY WIPED YOUR MEMORY!

*finds new hiding place, waits for comment to disappear*
posted by languagehat at 2:47 PM on February 29, 2008 [1 favorite]

You're thinking of a Calvin and Hobbes strip, languagehat, I'm sure of it.
posted by not_on_display at 4:23 PM on February 29, 2008

Think of it as like those crazy predictions of the date of The Rapture, but for atheists.

This reads like someone decided to make a Blair Witch-style version of the Fifth Book of Clarke
posted by thecaddy at 4:50 PM on February 29, 2008

But wait - 2013 is after 2012 What then? What then?
posted by mkim at 5:44 PM on February 29, 2008

Y'all are gonna feel real silly when 2017 rolls around... assuming we make it through 2008.

Seriously, for years, in the good ole U.S. of A. it was against federal law to have any contact with an extraterrestrial... but not any more. (If anyone cares, I'll track down the exact law, but this is absolutely true.) Between all the wierd stuff that is going on and all the wierd stuff that goes on that we aren't told about, nothing would surprise me any more.

I consider that UFOS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PROBLEM FACING THE UNITED NATIONS next to the war in Vietnam."-- June, 1967. Statement by U.N. Secretary General U THANT, as quoted in the NEW YORK POST, June 27, 1967.


posted by Enron Hubbard at 6:10 AM on March 1, 2008

Seriously, for years, in the good ole U.S. of A. it was against federal law to have any contact with an extraterrestrial... but not any more. (If anyone cares, I'll track down the exact law, but this is absolutely true.) Enron Hubbard, I'd like to know the federal law against contact with an extraterrestrial. Was it a NASA regulation?
posted by millardsarpy at 8:49 AM on March 1, 2008

The text of the law is available for your enjoyment, along with some commentary that contrasts the take by snopes, whose take on things suggests it only pertains to astronauts. Seems to me that it covers, but is not strictly limited to, astronauts who could could be "quarantined" for a time period to be determined later. Anybody that makes "contact" who tried to avoid quarantine is subject to a $5,000 fine and one year in federal detainment.

It no longer is in effect. Seems the danger of extra-terran contamination is no longer thought to be a problem.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 7:39 AM on March 2, 2008

Seriously, for years, in the good ole U.S. of A. it was against federal law to have any contact with an extraterrestrial... but not any more. (If anyone cares, I'll track down the exact law, but this is absolutely true.)

I'd be interested in seeing this, if for nothing else to share with friends over a drink and have a good laugh.
posted by Reth_Eldirood at 11:34 AM on March 2, 2008