Clearman's Steak n' Stein Inn

November 10, 2005 9:34 PM

Clearman's Steak n' Stein Innis a throw-back to a creepier, more velvety time. Anyone living in the Valley is no doubt familiar with the commercial for this Pico Rivera staple, with its Joe Jackson-worthy kinda kute waitresses and stately, Wagnerian score. There're lots (and lots and lots) of people obsessed with old diners, but I have to ask myself: who represents online for the creepy old steak house contingent?
posted by ford and the prefects (28 comments total)

Lileks does. I saw your post and was immediately reminded of The Gobbler.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:43 PM on November 10, 2005

I am here to represent the creepy old steak house contingent. Unfortunately there is a lack of creepy old steak houses around here.
posted by The Cardinal at 9:48 PM on November 10, 2005

The exterior of Clearman's North Woods Inn is truly bizarre. I drive past the one in San Gabriel regularly, and I'm always a little bit tempted... It's like something out of Twin Peaks.
posted by mr_roboto at 10:04 PM on November 10, 2005

Why would anyone from the Valley be familiar with a steakhouse in Pico Rivera?
posted by euphorb at 10:04 PM on November 10, 2005

Angus Barn
posted by 3.2.3 at 10:21 PM on November 10, 2005

Good observation. Old creepy steak houses. The ones in the "Last Picture Show" towns that defy age or period. Not the chains, before chains. The kind that seem like theres more going on behind the scene than just meat. A deeper and tragic human drama lurking behind the kitchen doors. The town drunk eying you suspiciously from the "locals" section. The puzzle of what to avoid on the menu ("Burritos?"). The puzzle of why all the tables are empty. Asking the waitress what she recommends, the cold silent response. Ordering the scrambled eggs. Yes, the creepy steak house experience is not well represented on the Internet.
posted by stbalbach at 10:27 PM on November 10, 2005

Does anyone else find the McDonald's at the corner of Yale and Havana kind of strange? Not in that "Huh! Now this is a strange McDonald's!" kind of way, but it seems normal when you first sit down, but after a while it feels like you're being stared at by some sort of perverted gigantic plastic clown?

I hate that.
posted by swell at 10:29 PM on November 10, 2005

that's histerical....so my previous girlfriend took me to meet the LA family once. She was excited to see and hang out with her family, and most of all she was excited to have their pre-christmas dinner at clearman's. So the place is in fact covered with a wierd plastic "snow", the bar area gives you peanuts and your encouraged to just drop the shells where they may, but sadly the barmaids outfits are much higher then they were in previous years (or so i was told, i guess some things do change with the times. Overall, i don't remember the food (other then thier being too much of it) but i'd say this place has the most personality of anything i saw in LA...but that's not saying much (i did say i was going with an EX girlfriend
posted by NGnerd at 10:49 PM on November 10, 2005

I loves the creepy old steakhouses.

"WE DO NOT RECOMMEND COOKING STEAKS PAST MEDIUM AS THEY TEND TO LOSE THEIR FLAVOR."

Yes...

The Gobbler is a classic too, KS, rawwr.
posted by NorthernSky at 11:30 PM on November 10, 2005

Oh, the memories, my mom used to take me to Love's out in El Cajon on the way to the orthodontist. Nothing beats a big plate of ribs before you get your braces tightened. Later I would occasionally hang out at the adjacent Lion's den (when I was old enough to drink, obviously).
posted by Mr T at 11:31 PM on November 10, 2005

Why would anyone from the Valley be familiar with a steakhouse in Pico Rivera?

Well, I live up in Glendale, and we get the commercials non-stop. Maybe it's just Charter Communications?
posted by ford and the prefects at 11:42 PM on November 10, 2005

Are there any decent movies that revolve around creepy steakhouses? And no, the Titty Twister doesn't quite count.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 12:07 AM on November 11, 2005

PurplePorpoise: I don't know any movies, but I read a novel called The Havana Room that revolve around a creepy old steakhouse. I'm sure it'll be a movie sooner or later.
posted by mullacc at 12:14 AM on November 11, 2005

Iiiinterrrresting, mullacc; I've had a fascination with "creepy" places but I think it's more my prejudice and stereotypic notions (I spent 4 years in rural Iowa - although those feelings have been proved correct several times [hint; I'm not caucasian]).

Perhaps Metafilter: The Movie - Creepy Diners Inhabited by Diners Diverse and Loquacious Who Find, Share, and Debate the Best of the Web Yet Find the Time to Twitter Over Politics?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 12:50 AM on November 11, 2005

What exactly is it that makes this place "creepy?" Does Bela Lugosi's ghost frequent the place? Or maybe Creeper a.k.a. Hamburger Pimp?* Does the restaurant hang out on the corner in a trench coat, leering at girls? Or is it like weed that takes a while to hit you?

Sure, the place looks like a museum of bad decor history, but I don't know if dining there would creep me out as much as invoke the feeling of being on some kind of time vacation.

Y'all seem to agree on the creepiness of the place; I'm feeling like the only person in the room who doesn't get a joke. Is there some new or West Coast definition of creepy that I'm not in on?

*Perhaps the place is so bad it kicks its own ass twice a day?
posted by Opposite George at 2:17 AM on November 11, 2005

$17.95 for ground steak is creepy.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:48 AM on November 11, 2005

I've been to the Covina North Woods Inn on a number of occassions. It's not creepy, it's just a restaurant with a schtick. What I've always loved about it is that it's got fake snow on its roof and "icicles" hanging down -- I always wondered if people were tempted to go up there with skis.
posted by jscalzi at 3:09 AM on November 11, 2005

I've loved the Northwoods Inn for years. Kitchy, cheesy, hokey, bizarre, campy, dark, overthemed, over-the-top and a bit politically incorrect. It hints of Disneyland and seems perfectly appropriate for LA. I don't find it creepy in the slightest, and just take it for what it is.

The salad, cole slaw, and cheesebread are very tasty. Oh, I guess they serve steak too. I make a point to go whenever I visit LA, even if it's out of the way. I wish there was one near here.
posted by Larzarus at 4:41 AM on November 11, 2005

As someone who lives near Seattle, what am I supposed to get out of this?
posted by argybarg at 6:11 AM on November 11, 2005

Not too far from the Angus Barn which 3.2.3 mentions, there is a whole shopping center from the creepy steakhouse era, Hillsborough NC's Daniel Boone Village.

The website does it's best to mask the Gunsmoke vernacular architecture of the site, which is really appealing. The place to visit for all your fake hitching post and half-buried wagon wheel needs.
posted by bendybendy at 6:28 AM on November 11, 2005

In Massachusetts, the classic is Ken's Steakhouse in Framingham - it's so dark in there, you need a flashlight to see the 1960's decor.
posted by adamg at 7:45 AM on November 11, 2005

My Northwoods Inn story is pretty much the same as NGnerd's, except I married the woman who brought me there.
posted by eamondaly at 8:14 AM on November 11, 2005

Hillsborough NC's Daniel Boone Village

yep, bendy. the creepy place there was occoneechee steakhouse, which has recently been converted to a cafe. it was an angus barn rip-off, as so many places around here are.

back up the highway from there, the farm house restaurant, which truly is a way creepy steakhouse.

both those places are creepy enough to have never have had web sites.

the thing is, these places are a dying breed. there were at least a dozen in my town ten years ago. none now.

the most long lived of them seem to be a sub-breed: the creepy greek steak house. if you order a steak and your complimentary salad comes feta cheese on top, you're in one. the illustrations of columns on the menu is a giveaway, too. :)
posted by 3.2.3 at 9:09 AM on November 11, 2005

but sadly the barmaids outfits are much higher then they were in previous years (or so i was told, i guess some things do change with the times.

Higher-- as in covering more cleavage, or higher-- as in revealing more leg? Guess I am wondering were the sadness comes from.

I still remember when they built the Northwood's Inn on 2nd street, Long Beach. Lovely street with palm trees and Spanish-style architecture one block from the beach, and then here is this looming ski lodge with fake snow on the roof.

Creepy, old, steakhouse with cheap steaks, full bar, flocked green velvet wallpaper, and small booths in small rooms with dim lighting for that "intimate" four martini lunch? Oh yeah, we got them here in Raleigh.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:11 AM on November 11, 2005

Yeah, baby -- I used to pass by this place as a kid on my way to my grandparents' house, wondering what mysteries lay within. I understand that it's creepy, but still it's kind of comforting that the place still exists after all these years.
posted by Parlour Tricks at 9:46 AM on November 11, 2005

Santa Monica used to have Bobby Burns. It was one of those places that felt like it had been there since the dawn of time. Lots of stags' heads, lots of velvet, lots of short-skirted waitresses.

It closed a while ago, then turned into a Houston's. Meh.
posted by RakDaddy at 10:02 AM on November 11, 2005

They certainly have an impressive array of appetizers.
posted by sharpener at 11:59 AM on November 11, 2005

And my favorite desert: "Sherbert"!
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 9:13 PM on November 11, 2005