"'Spitzer! You’re Governor Spitzer!'"
April 10, 2013 12:53 PM   Subscribe

Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin’s Post-Scandal Playbook (Spoiler: The disgraced Congressman is likely running for Mayor of New York City. SLNYT, Via)
posted by zarq (71 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
This city needs a better class of criminals mayoral candidates.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:55 PM on April 10, 2013


It's really a shame that Weiner and Spitzer let their dicks trip them up. They were both doing some great work and had extremely promising futures that crumbled for no damn reason. I do hope Weiner can find a way to come back.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:00 PM on April 10, 2013 [10 favorites]


God, what insufferable sociopaths, both of them.
posted by downing street memo at 1:06 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Yeah, save the dick-tripping for while you're in office. Like Giuliani. And Villaraigosa for that matter. In fact, if you're an adulterer, your odds of becoming mayor are extremely high. It's just a question of timing.
posted by phaedon at 1:06 PM on April 10, 2013


The Times Magazine has never missed an opportunity to fellate an incompetent politician or second-tier political scion. The degree of fawning and wonderment in this article over two moderately wealthy and exceptionally boring and self-obsessed people is disgusting but not surprising.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 1:08 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


If he were running for mayor in a town like, I don't know, Salt Lake City for instance, his past could be problem.

New York? Maybe not so much.

It's going to be an interesting race no matter what happens. I can't wait!
posted by freakazoid at 1:11 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can get a team of psychologists or someone on the case here?

Is there a connection between the quest for power and approbation a politician gets and the desire for sexual conquest? Do they tick the same checkboxes in the psyche?

Maybe they are not as outside the norm as they seem and everyone is out there combing the streets for some fleeting sense of connection and and politicians only get caught because people are looking?

I ain't voting for him. Not because he "corresponded" with 6 people over 3 years but because he is clearly incompetent, like some dude that misclicks and facebook likes a porn site, or was subconciously trying to sabotage his own career
posted by Ad hominem at 1:18 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Anthony Weiner wanted to have sex with a younger person he wasn't married to. If that makes him a sociopath, then I've got some bad news for everyone, about everyone. We all piled on him because he made exactly the same kind of bumbling mistake that men and women make every day. We don't want our "leaders" to be as horny and stupid as we are, and we revolt in outrage when they prove that they're exactly that. Us with fancier degrees and nicer suits. But still us.
posted by 1adam12 at 1:21 PM on April 10, 2013 [13 favorites]


I guessed Huma stayed because she was already pregnant and humiliated and maybe it was her last chance at the family she hoped for. I guess at that point, you're more vulnerable to staying with an unfaithful man. Maybe it's more humiliating to leave the marriage and she just didn't have the energy.

It's weird. I wish she had left him, but I guess maybe she's okay with settling for a dishonest, attention-seeker.

She could have done so, so, so much better than being married to a guy who is good at his job but lacks character. Being a single mother using a sperm bank would have been better than being with him. I bet it all just happened too fast to consider any real choices (not having his baby, divorcing him, etc). She probably knew once pregnant she'd be tied to him forever since probably a few important people in her life knew and she couldn't get an anonymous abortion.
posted by discopolo at 1:22 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


“When I become mayor, you know what I’m going to spend my first year doing?” Mr. Weiner said to Mr. Bloomberg, as tablemates listened. “I’m going to have a bunch of ribbon-cuttings tearing out your fucking bike lanes.”

Dude's an idiot and his primary goal is power. We like the way he used to grandstand sometimes in Congress (grandstood?) but he would be a disaster.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:23 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I ain't voting for him. Not because he "corresponded" with 6 people over 3 years but because he is clearly incompetent, like some dude that misclicks and facebook likes a porn site, or was subconciously trying to sabotage his own career

Far better that his incompetence is confined to the realm of Internet blunders as opposed to his incompetence coming in the realm of being too weak to resist permitting a corrupt land grab.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:24 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Whatever happened to richly-deserved obscurity?
posted by tommasz at 1:26 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


New Yorker here, would vote for Weiner before any of the candidates currently running.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:31 PM on April 10, 2013


Anthony Weiner wanted to have sex with a younger person he wasn't married to. If that makes him a sociopath, then I've got some bad news for everyone, about everyone. We all piled on him because he made exactly the same kind of bumbling mistake that men and women make every day. We don't want our "leaders" to be as horny and stupid as we are, and we revolt in outrage when they prove that they're exactly that.


I've never done anything like that and wouldn't.

Sure, people get horny, but it's not normal to just take a picture of your middle-aged wang and tweet it to a 20 year old. It's dumb and weird. No one wants to see it. Most women (all ages) giggle and forward it to their friends. He chose the most dumbass thing to do and embarrassed his pregnant wife and destroyed his credibility. He's a moron who can't control his horniness, the way adults (men and women both) are supposed to be able to. Or perhaps he should start submitting to regular hand checks so he can learn what is sexually appropriate and what makes him appear to have the judgment of a teenager.
posted by discopolo at 1:37 PM on April 10, 2013 [11 favorites]


New Yorker here, would vote for Weiner before any of the candidates currently running.

Who is even in the running anymore? There was that spree of arrests, John Liu still has that campaign finance shit hanging over him. Who is left, competent and scandal-free?
posted by griphus at 1:46 PM on April 10, 2013


griphus, from what I understand, Quinn, Lhota, Liu, deBlasio...
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:49 PM on April 10, 2013


I don't have much sympathy for Mrs. Abedin. She married a man who was well-known for being extremely abusive to his staff--his office was known among Hill staffers as one you did not want to work in. That is saying a lot, in DC. Just like you would be well advised not to marry someone who abuses waiters or housekeepers--sooner or later, that tendency will redound on you.

She was also Hillary Clinton's "body person," meaning a staffer who is an advisor but also an advance person, with the boss at all times. You see a lot of unsavory stuff that way, and you find a way to protect yourself against ill treatment, and ignore or quickly forget the way you see the less fortunate staffers and ancillary people get dealt with. Perhaps you even believe that you escape that treatment because you are exceptional in some way, or are particularly skilled, or know your boss particularly well--or because others deserve to be treated that way. You spend time soothing the wounds of others, and excusing or justifying bad behavior to the ill treated--and to your boss as well.

Their kid, though--what an internet awakening that will be one day.
posted by oneironaut at 1:50 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think the race is going to come down to Quinn vs. Lhota.
posted by zarq at 1:53 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


downing street memo: God, what insufferable sociopaths, both of them.
Really? You think that cheaters are sociopaths? Do you have any idea what that term actually means?

He's foolish. He was unfaithful. He's a jerk, by all reports. But nothing like a sociopath. Let's argue reality, not hyperbole. His crime isn't even bad enough to be considered a misdemeanor (although, of course, it upset his life in ways some felonies wouldn't have).
posted by IAmBroom at 1:54 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Lhota doesn't stand a chance after he pulled a Palin w/ the MTA, IMO.
posted by griphus at 1:56 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


> Is there a connection between the quest for power and approbation a politician gets and the desire for sexual conquest?

I think it was said most explicitly and least self-consciously by (surprise) Newt Gingrich: "I know that somewhere there's a cookie. I don't know where it is but I know it's mine ..."
posted by benito.strauss at 1:58 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I don't think Lhota could win a primary.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 2:00 PM on April 10, 2013


More to the point, Lhota is apparently unaware of the First Amendment. In this regard he's of a piece with Bloomberg and other prominent municipal-level politicians in the United States, who are always eager to jump to what they presume is the most effective/PR friendly solution to a perceived problem, laws and the rights of others be damned.

Can I write in Grumpy Cat, Smelborp (if we don't have Pope Smelborp by that time), or Tom Selleck's moustache?
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:04 PM on April 10, 2013


griphus: "Lhota doesn't stand a chance after he pulled a Palin w/ the MTA, IMO."

Oh man, I forgot about that. Yeah, he's screwed.
posted by zarq at 2:04 PM on April 10, 2013


Inspector.Gadget: "More to the point, Lhota is apparently unaware of the First Amendment. In this regard he's of a piece with Bloomberg and other prominent municipal-level politicians in the United States, who are always eager to jump to what they presume is the most effective/PR friendly solution to a perceived problem, laws and the rights of others be damned."

He's Rudolph Giuliani Redux (no surprise there,) and I think quite a few Republican New Yorkers would probably have voted for him because of it. Until the MTA thing.
posted by zarq at 2:06 PM on April 10, 2013


This article struck me in how it passed over Huma Abedin's attempts not to get together with Weiner in the first place in a light, romantic-comedy sort of way.

Weiner turned to Clinton and said: “I asked Huma out for a drink, and she says she has to work. Can you give her the night off?” With Abedin now behind Weiner, waving her arms and shaking her head “no”. . .

"[T]his cabal of four or five of her friends come over to the table and say: ‘Stay away. She wants no part of you.’ And this part of the story Huma disputes, but it’s true. She never came back. She ditched me. . ."


And yet he persisted, which is supposed to be adorable and spunky and heroic, and won her over, and she decided this was it after all. More women than Huma Abedin have made this mistake.

Smart people like to say, "Americans are so prudish! It shouldn't matter one bit what politicians do in their private lives!" Yet these are rarely people who forbear to mention how Newt Gingrich served one of his many wives with divorce papers on her deathbed. It's all very well to say it shouldn't matter to us whether politicians have affairs, but it shouldn't be quite the same as giving a powerful man a free pass to mistreat his wife and family just because you happen to like the way he uses his power. It's one thing to cheat on your partner in private life; that's a matter for the two of you to work out. But is it not a poor reflection on character to subject your partner and family to the chance that the media will tear you all apart?

Anyway, I'm not a New York voter, so I doubt Weiner will matter to me personally. I was sympathetic to him, in a way, after reading the article, but if he treats his staff badly -- well, to hell with all this affair business, that's what makes him a bad man.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:13 PM on April 10, 2013 [9 favorites]


Not that I'm a New York voter, but the article, for me, falls somewhere in the "coverup is worse than the crime" camp; there's something about the explanations for the scandal that makes me dislike him far more than I did back then.

Dave Weigel started talking about it better than I can this morning -- though, to be honest, I may just like the way "Weiner Spin Job" looks at the top of a page.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:16 PM on April 10, 2013


Weiner Spin Job? I heard about somebody who got arrested for harassment for emailing that gif.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:20 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's not about being prudish, I just didn't think the incident should have been career ruining and he's certainly not sociopathic. I think he has a lot of promise and could be good for New York as mayor, or back in politics in some capacity.
posted by sweetkid at 2:22 PM on April 10, 2013


Adultery between consenting adults where everyone is fine with it is one thing; a middle aged man sending unsolicited pictures of his penis to a teenage girl is not akin to that. It's a form of harassment (which it would also be if he were sending them to anyone without their consent) and speaks volumes for how someone sees the world.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 2:28 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought the girl was 21? Not a teenager.
posted by sweetkid at 2:30 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought the girl was 21? Not a teenager.

There were other women, other dick pics.

Is there any reason why heterosexual guys think women are into seeing their penises? Especially when you haven't been physically intimate with the dude, ever? What's the hoped for reaction? We might be nice about it, but not impressed.

Maybe they should read the part in the Bell Jar where Ester's boyfriend takes his pants off in front of her and she sees his penis for the first time:


The only thing I could think of was turkey neck and turkey gizzards and I felt very depressed.


And especially the erect hint of a penis of a guy two decades older than you. The only guy who gets away with that is Jon Hamm, who is richer and more attractive than Weiner. And his isn't even erect. It's just huge and in a pair of great pants. He's not wagging it on purpose or photographing it and seeking attention for it and himself, which is why it's hot to see. Everybody else should just put theirs away. No woman wants to see it.
posted by discopolo at 2:47 PM on April 10, 2013


The only guy who gets away with that is Jon Hamm, who is richer and more attractive than Weiner.

Richer? Why are you bringing up "richer?"

Also Jon Hamm has recently said he is really uncomfortable with the attention his penis is getting. I don't think he exactly has it out.
posted by sweetkid at 2:50 PM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


No woman wants to see it.

Not defending Weiner in the slightest, and there are plenty of other serious problems with unasked-for surprise dick pix, but Tumblr alone suggests you're not speaking for every woman here. Sometimes it's as simple as evident arousal in other people being arousing.
posted by bonaldi at 2:53 PM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


discopolo: "Is there any reason why heterosexual guys think women are into seeing their penises?"

Is there any particular reason why we should assume that they aren't?

Maybe they should read the part in the Bell Jar where Ester's boyfriend takes his pants off in front of her and she sees his penis for the first time:

The only thing I could think of was turkey neck and turkey gizzards and I felt very depressed.
"

So to clarify, you're asserting that all women are revolted by the sight of a naked penis? I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
posted by zarq at 3:21 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Can you come back from a sexual harassment scandal with the name Weiner? Isn't that kind of bringing the elephant in the room around with you all day every day?
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:45 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


discopolo: "Is there any reason why heterosexual guys think women are into seeing their penises?"

Zarq: Is there any particular reason why we should assume that they aren't?


A case in which there has not been any previous sexual interest expressed by either party would be a pretty DAMN big reason to assume we don't wanna see it. Even more so if the man is as of yet wholly unknown to the woman.

So to clarify, you're asserting that all women are revolted by the sight of a naked penis?

How are you getting "revolted" from "depressed"?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:07 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


The article completely ignores the evidence that Huma Abedin is a Muslim Brotherhood infiltrator. Thank goodness for Michelle Bachmann.
posted by homunculus at 5:12 PM on April 10, 2013




A case in which there has not been any previous sexual interest expressed by either party would be a pretty DAMN big reason to assume we don't wanna see it.

That was not the case between Weiner and the women with whom there was mutual flirting.

I'm getting "revolted" from the asinine turkey gizzards description, the other descriptions discopolo has made and the phrase, "No woman wants to see it."
posted by zarq at 5:17 PM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


I must say that I find the "personality politics" practised in the US and its subsequent uptake facile, annoying, and ultimately more often-than-not a play by vested interests. If a politician hasn't broken the law, I don't really give a shit what they're like. What their policies are like? Sure. How good they are at enacting those policies? Definitely.

It's not really surprising - people are far more interesting and easier to squeeze into a narrative, and when the very concept of ideology is debased to the point where a clear belief systems is almost synonymous with extremism, there's precious little else to go for. But still.

Some of our best prime ministers here in Australia have been total bastards. Bob Hawke - one of the most popular PMs ever was literally a philandering alcoholic. People didn't mind; they liked what he stood for, what he did as PM etc. That would never happen now.
posted by smoke at 5:28 PM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


I have an inexplicable affinity for ... Weiner. That being said, I think his Twitter and FB antics, and epic navel-gazing interview, are a sign of what we can expect from our politicians in 10-20 years (hopefully without the gratuitous dick pics). He's solidly Gen X but he's definitely got the Gen Y "I must be constantly saying things on the internet" style down cold. (Says the Gen Y-er who constantly has to be saying things on the internet).
posted by murfed13 at 5:29 PM on April 10, 2013


Further Empress, if anyone described womens' genitals in such a way on this site, quote or not, they'd rightfully be flamed out of existence as a misogynist.
posted by zarq at 5:36 PM on April 10, 2013 [6 favorites]


well, the "turkey gizzards" expression is from The Bell Jar, and is Esther Greenwood's description. The Bell Jar is an amazing depiction of a young woman with depression, but Esther Greenwood's views on life, sexuality, genitalia, etc, are marked by her depression and shouldn't be extrapolated to all women.
posted by sweetkid at 5:41 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yep. I've studied it and its fascinating. But the way its being raised here is very wtf to me.
posted by zarq at 5:44 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Mod note: Comment removed, let's not go comment trawling to point out misogynist things people said here in 2005, please?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:06 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


> A case in which there has not been any previous sexual interest expressed by either party would be a pretty DAMN big reason to assume we don't wanna see it.

That was not the case between Weiner and the women with whom there was mutual flirting.


The flirting continuum is HUGE, though. I mean, are you saying it's an appropriate step to send someone a picture of your dick if you're still only at the second-OKCupid-email "omigod, you think hot sake tastes like kerosene too?" phase?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:16 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Empress, I haven't been single for 14 years. OK Cupid didn't even exist the last time I was single. I am very far out of the loop on what appropriate / common behaviour is when people are flirting online.

I don't personally think *anything* about these affairs was appropriate. He was cheating on his wife with women 20 years his junior. And it wasn't one woman. It was several women, and reportedly he sent pictures to more than one of them. Do we know if all of them were at the "second-OK-Cupid email" stage?

We should absolutely be capable of describing our feelings about this without inappropriately applying feelings of disgust for men's genitalia to all women.
posted by zarq at 6:37 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Empress, I haven't been single for 14 years. OK Cupid didn't even exist the last time I was single. I am very far out of the loop on what appropriate / common behaviour is when people are flirting online.

It's not all that different from flirting in public, though. I don't imagine you'd think it'd be appropriate to drop trou after a half hour of conversation and shout "Peek-a-boo!" or anything, right? I'm not sure why you'd assume the rules for online would be any different.

We should absolutely be capable of describing our feelings about this without inappropriately applying feelings of disgust for men's genitalia to all women.

I was speaking strictly of your question "why don't people think women would want to look at men's penises", and I was saying that whether or not I want to look at a guy's penis is extremely dependent upon certain conditions. That is all. As for the quote from The Bell Jar, that was not germane to my point.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:44 PM on April 10, 2013


Why are you bringing up "richer?"

Gotta give the evopsych crowd something to go on.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:02 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's not all that different from flirting in public, though. I don't imagine you'd think it'd be appropriate to drop trou after a half hour of conversation and shout "Peek-a-boo!" or anything, right?

Correct. However, there is a difference between trying to build a relationship with someone online and looking for a "cybersex" hookup. I assume sharing sexual pictures early might very well be appropriate in the latter case. The rules are different, yes?

And again, do you know that all the other women were at the "second-OK Cupid date" stage?

I was saying that whether or not I want to look at a guy's penis is extremely dependent upon certain conditions. That is all.

I'm not really sure why you'd bring it up, then. I clearly addressed discopolo's statements referencing all women, not an individual. Her declaring all womens' distaste for viewing naked male genitalia. I made that clear more than once.

Of course context matters in an individual situation. Obviously. That was not what was being discussed.
posted by zarq at 7:07 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


The only guy who gets away with that is Jon Hamm, who is richer and more attractive than Weiner.

Wait, so you're telling me that this is the one thing that Reddit is right about?
posted by benito.strauss at 7:41 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


We all piled on him because he made exactly the same kind of bumbling mistake that men and women make every day. We don't want our "leaders" to be as horny and stupid as we are, and we revolt in outrage when they prove that they're exactly that. Us with fancier degrees and nicer suits. But still us.

Yes, I personally was happy to pile on because he was bumbling. Yes. I don't want political leaders to be stupid. I want them to be smart and competent.

This is hardly an unreasonable request.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 7:48 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


there is a difference between trying to build a relationship with someone online and looking for a "cybersex" hookup. I assume sharing sexual pictures early might very well be appropriate in the latter case. The rules are different, yes?

And again, do you know that all the other women were at the "second-OK Cupid date" stage?


By the same token, do YOU know for certain the other women were looking for a cybersex hookup?

But more importantly, did Anthony Weiner?

I clearly addressed discopolo's statements referencing all women, not an individual. Her declaring all womens' distaste for viewing naked male genitalia. I made that clear more than once.

Apples and oranges:

* Discopolo quoted a passage from Bell jar which made aesthetic observation about male genitals.
* You questioned whether there was a reason why women wouldn't want to look at male genitals.
* I proposed an answer to your question.

Your question does not follow from Discopolo's statement, so far as I could tell.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:24 PM on April 10, 2013


But, hey, if it makes you feel better, I don't think male genitalia look like turkey giblets.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:25 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]




By the same token, do YOU know for certain the other women were looking for a cybersex hookup?

In some cases it seems likely, yes.
In at least one case, definitely not.
Obviously we don't know all the details. Reports of sexually explicit texts, facebook and twitter messages and photos abound.

But more importantly, did Anthony Weiner?

It does not appear that he was attempting to actually "date" any of them with the possible exception of Traci Nobles, who has written a tell-all memoir.

* Discopolo quoted a passage from Bell jar which made aesthetic observation about male genitals.
* You questioned whether there was a reason why women wouldn't want to look at male genitals.
* I proposed an answer to your question.

Your question does not follow from Discopolo's statement, so far as I could tell.


I suggest you re-read all of discopolo's and my comments much more carefully, because you seem to have utterly misunderstood what I repeatedly referred to.
posted by zarq at 9:32 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


When life sexts you wieners, make wienerade.
posted by bardic at 9:35 PM on April 10, 2013


I'm perfectly capable of reading comprehension, zarq, thank you.


In fact, I thought it was quite clear that discopolo was referring to unsolicited dick picks, and that the quote from Bell Jar was in fact a retort to what the perceived response these would-be lotharios were expecting their flashing would elicit. You seem to be the one to have somehow assumed she was making a blanket statement on the general pulchritude of male genitala on all men everywhere, and I am frankly at a loss to comprehend why, when she was quite clear that she meant
Especially when you haven't been physically intimate with the dude, ever?
that's a conditional statement, not a blanket one.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:46 PM on April 10, 2013


I'm perfectly capable of reading comprehension, zarq, thank you.

Apparently not.

"Everybody else should just put theirs away. No woman wants to see it."
posted by zarq at 9:58 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, you should quote the whole thing.

Is there any reason why heterosexual guys think women are into seeing their penises? Especially when you haven't been physically intimate with the dude, ever? What's the hoped for reaction? We might be nice about it, but not impressed.

Maybe they should read the part in the Bell Jar where Ester's boyfriend takes his pants off in front of her and she sees his penis for the first time:

"The only thing I could think of was turkey neck and turkey gizzards and I felt very depressed."

And especially the erect hint of a penis of a guy two decades older than you. The only guy who gets away with that is Jon Hamm, who is richer and more attractive than Weiner. And his isn't even erect. It's just huge and in a pair of great pants. He's not wagging it on purpose or photographing it and seeking attention for it and himself, which is why it's hot to see. Everybody else should just put theirs away. No woman wants to see it.

Emphasis mine.

It wasn't conditional. The "especially" was emphasis for one particular case, but did not modify the entire statement.
posted by zarq at 10:03 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I really wanted Mista Weina to say, at some point during a ten-page NYTimes article, something like : "But this isn't really about me. It's about the NYC voters and their need for..." TL;DR, but apparently he never did say anything like that. I'd have to personally hash tag this as #stillnotgettingit .
posted by newdaddy at 10:10 PM on April 10, 2013


Empress: I'm perfectly capable of reading comprehension, zarq, thank you.

Me: Apparently not.


*sigh*

I apologize. In retrospect that was uncalled for and a bit nasty of me. I'm sorry.

Look, if at this point you're still not seeing what I've been talking about, I'm going to throw up my hands and walk away. I don't want to fight with you, Empress. And I feel like I'm derailing my own thread and defending a philandering asshole. If you'd like to have the last word, have at it.
posted by zarq at 10:14 PM on April 10, 2013


Also, Huma is the kind of smart, attractive, accomplished woman who shouldn't be enabling jerks like Mr. Weiner. I don't mean to judge her choices, but, having been single for far too long, it always really rankled me to see women lavish their good will on guys who obviously didn't appreciate it enough.

Maybe his success at politics was attractive to her. From the article, all I got was that he was persistent.
posted by newdaddy at 10:22 PM on April 10, 2013


"Especially" doesn't turn a statement into a conditional. For instance:
I like Japanese food, especially sashimi.
If that were a conditional, it would say nothing about how I feel about tempura. But it indicates that I do like tempura, just not as notably as sashimi.

That's why I understood discopolo's comment to apply to all penises. But it also had a whole John-Hamm-hawt-penis thing going on too, which made it sound like a bit of smutty joking, so it didn't bother me that much. Smut I'm mostly okay with; it's faulty rhetoric that bothers me.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:49 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


That story was horrifying for the "courtship" story. She didn't want to say yes--her BOSS said it for her so she was trapped into it. She literally RAN OUT ON THE DATE and SENT HER POSSE to tell him to go away. He continued to bug her for SIX YEARS. Why on earth did she cave? And marry him? And not use birth control with him?

Trust your instincts! A dick is a dick!

I dunno, maybe a gorgeous smart (supposedly) woman has to finally settle for an idiot like this in order to get a husband and baby, but if our world is like that, kill me now.

I would not want to vote for a dude who is dumb like this. To be slipping dick pics to random girls he's never met, while he's got a pregnant wife. Yeah, technically he didn't fuck any of them, but I think that was only from lack of getting that far with any one girl. And yeah, women do not like dick pics of dicks they don't already know personally. It's creepy and makes us think that a guy with (at best) no social skills or enough brains to figure this out is not uh, fucking or relationship material.

Yes, I know science tells us that men are literally thinking of fucking every 2 seconds, but as someone who isn't dominated by testosterone (thank god), it's just horrifying to think that so many guys have apparently no control or brains or anything about this stuff. Depresses the hell out of me, really.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:52 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


Who knows what her motivations were, but just because she's brilliant and accomplished doesn't mean that she's great at navigating romantic reefs and shoals. In fact, it would be sort of surprising if she were, with a combination of unrelenting work schedule, conservative upbringing, and – almost certainly – a pretty narrow practical selection base of partners. For her, it would have to be somebody who is steeped in politics at a high level (also unmarried, straight, male), understands the overwhelming time and attention commitment of her job, lives in DC / NY, has a strong enough ego not to feel overshadowed by her success (ultimately questionable in this case, but the apparent confidence was there), and who would not be expecting his romantic partner to sacrifice her career ambitions in order to accommodate his. I would be surprised if she had a great deal of experience with relationships before this one, and even for those who do have experience, this stuff is hard.

Maybe he just managed to make himself into the puzzle piece that would fit her picture. Logistically, it seems to make sense: She was right around 35 when they married; time to start seriously planning the baby thing if she wanted a baby, and if that was going to happen it would happen at the point that Clinton was leaving as Secretary of State, leaving some time before Hillary's next step, whatever it might be, or perhaps the launch of Abedin's own future political plans. And in the aftermath, as a strategist and mother, it also makes more sense for her to stay and help rebuild Weiner's career, if possible, so that the dick pix thing would be more of a footnote than an endnote, if only for the sake of their child.

So, yeah, I think it was his persistence combined with the fact that politics does, literally, in some cases, make strange bedfellows. Though it seems that her range of choices would be almost unlimited, I suspect that in reality they were very limited, indeed. Think about the fact that despite knowing each other for 10 years (with him presumably more or less in pursuit of her that entire time), and dating for three years, the longest time they ever managed to spend together was the two weeks of their honeymoon. She had the same schedule and physical commitments as the US Secretary of State – hardly an ideal dynamic for parsing an intimate relationship.

As for Weiner, I can't say if he has any merit whatever as an actual leader (discounting the idiocy of this scandal), but he certainly seems like a drama-llama, someone who has demonstrated impulsive, possibly self-destructive, risk-taking behavior... and apparently a total scumbag dirty trickster: A career that could end with a dumb online picture scandal was launched with race-baiting. Dicktweets aside, how is this someone who should or could ever be mayor of NYC?
posted by taz at 1:48 AM on April 11, 2013 [6 favorites]


On a lighter note: today's New York Post headline is "Weiner's Second Coming." Once again the Post's writers are true to their glorious form.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:41 AM on April 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


... he certainly seems like a drama-llama ...

That's great; do you mind if I steal that phrase? I'd also like to imply that he's kind of stupid and call him a "drama-llama ding-dong".
posted by benito.strauss at 11:10 AM on April 11, 2013


EmpressCallipygos: A case in which there has not been any previous sexual interest expressed by either party would be a pretty DAMN big reason to assume we don't wanna see it. Even more so if the man is as of yet wholly unknown to the woman.
Actually, this might be exactly why men who send dick pics think they'll be well-received. That doesn't translate to a reason in the opposite direction.

Uncounted thousands of women have flashed their breasts at men who've never seen them before, and received everything from beads to cheers to careers in modeling. Seldom is disgust or "depression" expressed by the men.

So, in the flasher's mind, if chicks can do it and get approval, it's gotta be cool for me, too, right?

Except it isn't. And, for that matter, exposing your body parts on a stage, or out the window of a car driving by, is a very different message than sending it "personally" via email (or worse, in person, where there's a very real chance of threat). Not to mention that breasts aren't analogous to dicks, anyway.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:08 PM on April 12, 2013 [1 favorite]




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