The 2019 Sonic The Hedgehog film trailer has finally landed
April 30, 2019 6:59 AM Subscribe
and yeah it's a .. uhm.. trailer. Due for release in December 2019, the film features - as part of an ensemble cast - James Marsden, Jim Carrey, and Ben Schwartz as the voice of Sonic.
Way back in December of 2018 a teaser 'motion poster ' for the Sonic Film was released to .. less than positive reactions.
A second official release of the movie teaser poster had fans further arguing about the precise anatomical look of a what a Live Action Sonic should be.
Now the trailer is out and .. just go watch it's .. well I can definitely say it's 2 minutes 45 seconds long.
Enjoy?
Way back in December of 2018 a teaser 'motion poster ' for the Sonic Film was released to .. less than positive reactions.
A second official release of the movie teaser poster had fans further arguing about the precise anatomical look of a what a Live Action Sonic should be.
Now the trailer is out and .. just go watch it's .. well I can definitely say it's 2 minutes 45 seconds long.
Enjoy?
I choose to believe that this movie takes place in the Westworld universe, and Marsden's cop character is actually Teddy in the robot afterlife, stuck inside a discarded Delos prototype simulation of some long-forgotten video game from the 1990s.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:03 AM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:03 AM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
the film features - as part of an ensemble cast - James Marsden
Dang...I was kind of hoping for a moment there it was James Marsden in a blue Flash-like superhero suit and helmet.
posted by darkstar at 7:03 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Dang...I was kind of hoping for a moment there it was James Marsden in a blue Flash-like superhero suit and helmet.
posted by darkstar at 7:03 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
I'm in it for Robotnik and whoever Marsden is playing? But good lord, Sonic.
posted by Kyol at 7:07 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by Kyol at 7:07 AM on April 30, 2019
I was ready for a Detective Pikachu moment. Hating the stills, hating the opening scenes, then realizing halfway that the Pokemon world on screen is amazing and filled with life and then holding back a cheer when the trailer ended.
Friends I did not have a Detective Pikachu moment with the Sonic trailer.
Of all the very bad things I can't get over Gangstas Paradise. Why that song? What are they trying to say with that choice? Who are the gangstas? What's their paradise? It's baffling.
posted by Tevin at 7:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [52 favorites]
Friends I did not have a Detective Pikachu moment with the Sonic trailer.
Of all the very bad things I can't get over Gangstas Paradise. Why that song? What are they trying to say with that choice? Who are the gangstas? What's their paradise? It's baffling.
posted by Tevin at 7:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [52 favorites]
This feels like Detective Pikachu took a side-trip deeper into the uncanny valley, and left his heart and other plucky positive characteristics in his other pants.
posted by Alterscape at 7:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Alterscape at 7:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
First Pikachu, now Sonic is hairy?
And it's the *genderswapping* that's ruining our childhoods?
posted by ominous_paws at 7:09 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
And it's the *genderswapping* that's ruining our childhoods?
posted by ominous_paws at 7:09 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
At least Jim Carey has a moustache. That's something to look forward to I guess.
posted by Ashwagandha at 7:10 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Ashwagandha at 7:10 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
Based on the early pre-production art that leaked a few months ago, I think it's fair to say that not being in this movie is easily Chris Pratt's best career choice of the last few years.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:10 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:10 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
Wow. That is indeed a trailer.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:11 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:11 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I never played more than a smidge of sonic games (none of my consoles ever had Blast Processing) so I’m going to try real hard to pretend that someone who did play them a lot would be really excited about this.
...
Nope. I can’t do it. My imagination just isn’t good enough.
posted by aubilenon at 7:11 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
...
Nope. I can’t do it. My imagination just isn’t good enough.
posted by aubilenon at 7:11 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
🎵 This Sonic is the wo~ooorrst! 🎵
posted by explosion at 7:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by explosion at 7:12 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
I can't get over Gangstas Paradise. Why that song?
It was over-used and everywhere in the 90s. Sonic was everywhere in the 90s. It's just a reference to show that they're leaning hard on 90s nostalgia and that it's going to be a very silly movie.
The premise is basically, "Remember how Street Fighter got a bad movie and Sonic didn't? Sonic deserved a bad movie, too, and this is that bad movie!"
I doubt it'll feel quite the same as a 90s movie, but that seems to be the marketing.
posted by explosion at 7:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [23 favorites]
It was over-used and everywhere in the 90s. Sonic was everywhere in the 90s. It's just a reference to show that they're leaning hard on 90s nostalgia and that it's going to be a very silly movie.
The premise is basically, "Remember how Street Fighter got a bad movie and Sonic didn't? Sonic deserved a bad movie, too, and this is that bad movie!"
I doubt it'll feel quite the same as a 90s movie, but that seems to be the marketing.
posted by explosion at 7:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [23 favorites]
Where are the gold rings?
Biffa's rule one of trailer based decisions: biffa does not attend films which have a trailer where one or more characters do that open mouthed scream thing. I believe this signifier to be indicative of a poor quality film with a rate approaching 100%.
posted by biffa at 7:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
Biffa's rule one of trailer based decisions: biffa does not attend films which have a trailer where one or more characters do that open mouthed scream thing. I believe this signifier to be indicative of a poor quality film with a rate approaching 100%.
posted by biffa at 7:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
The use of "Gangsta's Paradise" really feels like they just used that as dummy music to cut the trailer to and then no one bothered to change it. It's a baffling, nonsensical choice and I may be putting more thought into why it was used than they did.
Jim Carey looks like he's having fun at least. Or something. I don't know if that's saying much.
posted by darksong at 7:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
Jim Carey looks like he's having fun at least. Or something. I don't know if that's saying much.
posted by darksong at 7:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
I'm left with an loud echoing "Whhhhhhhhhhyyy??????" after watching.
Why is James Marsden in this?
Why did they design Sonic to be a weird stunted child human height?
Why is anyone still hiring James Carry?
Why the frack did they use Gangsta's Paradise as the accompanying music?
Why is Sonic suddenly an alien?
Why do the golden rings act like some kind of spacial portal?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
posted by Faintdreams at 7:19 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
Why is James Marsden in this?
Why did they design Sonic to be a weird stunted child human height?
Why is anyone still hiring James Carry?
Why the frack did they use Gangsta's Paradise as the accompanying music?
Why is Sonic suddenly an alien?
Why do the golden rings act like some kind of spacial portal?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
posted by Faintdreams at 7:19 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
Finally Why - considering Sonic can move at speeds that break the sound barrier - WHY DID MARSDEN'S CHARACTER MANAGE TO SUCCESSFULLY HIT HIM WITH A TRANQ DART?
posted by Faintdreams at 7:21 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Faintdreams at 7:21 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
I will say that I'm looking forward to Scott Aukerman making the Sonic movie the new project (a la House of Lies/Pies) that he teases Ben Schwartz about during their "Solo Bolo" episodes on Comedy Bang Bang.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:21 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:21 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
They still have time to rescue this to some degree and at relatively low cost by just putting the regular animated Sonic from the 90s cartoon series over every scene with uncanny valley Sonic.
Think “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” rather than “Pervert’s Version of Monsters, Inc”.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
Think “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” rather than “Pervert’s Version of Monsters, Inc”.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:22 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
Songs that Would have Been More Appropriate and more Nostalgic to the 90s than Gangstas Paradise:
1) Steal My Sunshine - LEN (starts up after Sonic steals a ring)
2) Higher - Creed (starts as Sonic blasts off into the sky [also would be very funny])
3) Bye Bye Bye - N'Sync (COME ON!)
4) No Scrubs - TLC (as he runs from Robotnik? IDK, literally anything besides GP)
There are many more, these are just off the top of my head. GP makes no sense.
posted by Tevin at 7:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
1) Steal My Sunshine - LEN (starts up after Sonic steals a ring)
2) Higher - Creed (starts as Sonic blasts off into the sky [also would be very funny])
3) Bye Bye Bye - N'Sync (COME ON!)
4) No Scrubs - TLC (as he runs from Robotnik? IDK, literally anything besides GP)
There are many more, these are just off the top of my head. GP makes no sense.
posted by Tevin at 7:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
The use of "Gangsta's Paradise" really feels like they just used that as dummy music to cut the trailer to and then no one bothered to change it. It's a baffling, nonsensical choice and I may be putting more thought into why it was used than they did.
I think it’s intended to evoke nostalgia for the time that the Sonic games were popular? (Or maybe it’s just to associate the movie with “Dangerous Minds”?)
This also seems like a good explanation.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:26 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
I think it’s intended to evoke nostalgia for the time that the Sonic games were popular? (Or maybe it’s just to associate the movie with “Dangerous Minds”?)
This also seems like a good explanation.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:26 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
I have seen the harshest tweet I think that I have ever laid eyes on:
Jim Carrey Robotnik looks like he and his wife trawl Tinder in search of "a third troubador to join us for schnapps and decadence in our Steampunk Boudoir"
posted by Countess Elena at 7:27 AM on April 30, 2019 [46 favorites]
Jim Carrey Robotnik looks like he and his wife trawl Tinder in search of "a third troubador to join us for schnapps and decadence in our Steampunk Boudoir"
posted by Countess Elena at 7:27 AM on April 30, 2019 [46 favorites]
Inside the Actor’s Studio, a cartoon by Pixelated Boat
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:27 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by chappell, ambrose at 7:27 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
I know absolutely nothing about Sonic the Hedgehog or SEGA or anything else but this looks absolutely terrible.
In my day we had quality video game movies like Tron and All The President's Men.
posted by bondcliff at 7:28 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
In my day we had quality video game movies like Tron and All The President's Men.
posted by bondcliff at 7:28 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
Oh god, those legs...
posted by tocts at 7:29 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by tocts at 7:29 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
if I was a film maker i would simply make a blockbuster that isn't about a comic book, a toy, or a video game
posted by idiopath at 7:30 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by idiopath at 7:30 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
The worst part about this movie coming out is that Nick Wiger won't be asking Evan Susser to confirm or deny that various super-obscure Sonic characters are going to appear in the film anymore.
posted by saladin at 7:30 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by saladin at 7:30 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
I'm in a liminal state of anticipation for Detective Pikachu. While I'm currently looking forward to seeing it, based on the trailers, wishful thinking and Ryan Reynolds, I'm also fully prepared to allow this state to collapse into disgust, based on reviews when they appear.
While technically unrelated, this Sonic trailer is shaking my tenuous faith in the goodness of Detective Pikachu. DP could be good only if it's fully committed to the absurdity, makes a laugh-a-minute spectacle of itself with subtle but bountiful fan service and sticks the landing.
This trailer flops straight out of the gate, and describes the mode of failure that may lie ahead for DP, although fortunately it doesn't have the added liability of Jim Carrey.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
While technically unrelated, this Sonic trailer is shaking my tenuous faith in the goodness of Detective Pikachu. DP could be good only if it's fully committed to the absurdity, makes a laugh-a-minute spectacle of itself with subtle but bountiful fan service and sticks the landing.
This trailer flops straight out of the gate, and describes the mode of failure that may lie ahead for DP, although fortunately it doesn't have the added liability of Jim Carrey.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Next up, Spyro! Or better yet, Frogger
posted by wpgr at 7:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by wpgr at 7:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
I have seen the trailer and now death no longer holds any fear for me.
posted by fallingbadgers at 7:34 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by fallingbadgers at 7:34 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
I am here for the Frogger Extended Cinematic Universe.
posted by jrishel at 7:35 AM on April 30, 2019 [27 favorites]
posted by jrishel at 7:35 AM on April 30, 2019 [27 favorites]
Eh. CGI has always weirded out my senses, and not just for faces but also for how things move in general. So this seems no better or worse then anything else, and I've learned to just turn off that part of my brain that responds badly to uncanny worlds so I can enjoy CGI in movies.
I thought some of the jokes in the trailer were kind of funny. And am I the only one who still kind of enjoys Jim Carrey going maximum mugging-for-the-camera? He looks like he's having fun.
It's fine. I'll let myself out the back.
posted by Alex404 at 7:39 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
I thought some of the jokes in the trailer were kind of funny. And am I the only one who still kind of enjoys Jim Carrey going maximum mugging-for-the-camera? He looks like he's having fun.
It's fine. I'll let myself out the back.
posted by Alex404 at 7:39 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
I've been on the fence about who to support this election cycle and can now fully commit myself to Relativistic Impactor 2020.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:40 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:40 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
They 100% trapped the soul of a damned screaming child inside that CGI somehow.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:41 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Navelgazer at 7:41 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
I would watch a Spyro movie. I've watched speed runs and they're pretty decent entertainment. The character is good, the games tell stories, there's an arc. They're kind-hearted and fun; even the baddies are mostly just comically bad, the kind of bad where a little kid-voiced Spyro could just say something on point and the villain would go "oh, I never thought about that, now I'm a good guy, I'll make everything better, thanks, Spyro!"
This Sonic is terrible.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:45 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
This Sonic is terrible.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:45 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
They 100% trapped the soul of a damned screaming child inside that CGI somehow.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
posted by biffa at 7:47 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
posted by biffa at 7:47 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Yeah, Jim Carrey is on my list of actors I don't watch, so this is a no go for that reason alone.
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:49 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:49 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
If this ends up available to me on Netflix, Amazon, or an in-flight entertainment system where I have exhausted all the better options, then I suspect I will watch it.
I am not convinced this reaches the lofty bar required to get me to intentionally leave the house for the purposes of being "exposed" to this "material", however.
posted by BuxtonTheRed at 7:53 AM on April 30, 2019
I am not convinced this reaches the lofty bar required to get me to intentionally leave the house for the purposes of being "exposed" to this "material", however.
posted by BuxtonTheRed at 7:53 AM on April 30, 2019
Carrey is channeling Raul Julia's performance as Bison in the Street Fighter movie, in that he's clearly not giving any fucks and just choosing to eat the scenery.
posted by SansPoint at 7:54 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
posted by SansPoint at 7:54 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
Dying empires produce the best monsters
posted by The Whelk at 7:54 AM on April 30, 2019 [29 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 7:54 AM on April 30, 2019 [29 favorites]
Oh boy. The teeth are MUCH creepier than the legs.
posted by one of these days at 7:54 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by one of these days at 7:54 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's disappointing that they went with such a boring CGI version of Sonic when they had so many possibilities to choose from (warning: google image search, probably goes bad a few pages down if not before).
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 7:57 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 7:57 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Remember how Street Fighter got a bad movie
You shut your mouth!
Carrey is channeling Raul Julia's performance as Bison in the Street Fighter movie, in that he's clearly not giving any fucks and just choosing to eat the scenery.
The difference being that Raul Julia chewed the scenery *magnificently*.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:00 AM on April 30, 2019 [21 favorites]
You shut your mouth!
Carrey is channeling Raul Julia's performance as Bison in the Street Fighter movie, in that he's clearly not giving any fucks and just choosing to eat the scenery.
The difference being that Raul Julia chewed the scenery *magnificently*.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:00 AM on April 30, 2019 [21 favorites]
What a wonder that Paramount is in financial trouble.
posted by Automocar at 8:05 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Automocar at 8:05 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Yeah, Jim Carrey is on my list of actors I don't watch, so this is a no go for that reason alone.
I skip anything where Jim Carrey is supposed to be wacky, but he's actually a pretty good actor when he's given more to work with.
If you skipped The Truman Show because of Carrey you might want to put it on your list.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:06 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
I skip anything where Jim Carrey is supposed to be wacky, but he's actually a pretty good actor when he's given more to work with.
If you skipped The Truman Show because of Carrey you might want to put it on your list.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:06 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
I guess they're giving up on getting people excited to see the movie and just aiming for morbid curiosity instead.
posted by ckape at 8:06 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by ckape at 8:06 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
I groaned out loud at "every hero has a genesis".
posted by namewithoutwords at 8:06 AM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
posted by namewithoutwords at 8:06 AM on April 30, 2019 [22 favorites]
It's Truman Show meets Westworld, but with psilocybin, while binge playing Sega.
Except it sucks.
posted by a complicated history at 8:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Except it sucks.
posted by a complicated history at 8:08 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
This is like cult classic level awful looking and I wonder if that is the point somehow...but that would require someone involved being clever.
posted by Young Kullervo at 8:08 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by Young Kullervo at 8:08 AM on April 30, 2019
We could have had a halfway decent Saturday Morning cartoon movie and this is what we get, and honestly I'm just kind of dead inside at this point. You know, the way all Sonic fans were before Sonic Mania came out.
posted by gc at 8:09 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by gc at 8:09 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
Two thoughts that pop into my head:
Have to go listen to Stevie Wonder, and
Super Mario Bros.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 8:13 AM on April 30, 2019
Have to go listen to Stevie Wonder, and
Super Mario Bros.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 8:13 AM on April 30, 2019
Bah, call this a movie trailer? It doesn't even have a little girl singing a creepy cover of a pop song!
Truuuuuust me and weeeee will escape from the ciiiiityyyyyy... *violin glissando to sudden silence, cut to black*
posted by J.K. Seazer at 8:14 AM on April 30, 2019 [14 favorites]
Truuuuuust me and weeeee will escape from the ciiiiityyyyyy... *violin glissando to sudden silence, cut to black*
posted by J.K. Seazer at 8:14 AM on April 30, 2019 [14 favorites]
If you skipped The Truman Show because of Carrey you might want to put it on your list.
Carrey's on the list because I don't watch actors who have worked to actively endanger people's lives.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:25 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
Carrey's on the list because I don't watch actors who have worked to actively endanger people's lives.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:25 AM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
I skip anything where Jim Carrey is supposed to be wacky, but he's actually a pretty good actor when he's given more to work with. If you skipped The Truman Show because of Carrey you might want to put it on your list.
He should have gotten an oscar for that, and another for Eternal Happiness of the Spotless Mind. But yeah, this movie is not going to do anything for his legacy.
posted by Popular Ethics at 8:25 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
He should have gotten an oscar for that, and another for Eternal Happiness of the Spotless Mind. But yeah, this movie is not going to do anything for his legacy.
posted by Popular Ethics at 8:25 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I don't watch actors who have worked to actively endanger people's lives
Can you elaborate a bit, cause this is new/news to me and I am ok with TIL.
posted by jkaczor at 8:29 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Can you elaborate a bit, cause this is new/news to me and I am ok with TIL.
posted by jkaczor at 8:29 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
You know what, though? I am 100% here for Michael "Colonel Tigh" Hogan and that "you're not suggesting who I think you're suggesting" face at 0:47.
posted by hanov3r at 8:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by hanov3r at 8:31 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
This movie is about 25 years too late.
posted by runcibleshaw at 8:31 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by runcibleshaw at 8:31 AM on April 30, 2019
Can you elaborate a bit, cause this is new/news to me and I am ok with TIL.
Carrey's (via Jenny McCarthy) an anti-vaxx guy, or at least lent them a lot of viability.
posted by dismas at 8:34 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
Carrey's (via Jenny McCarthy) an anti-vaxx guy, or at least lent them a lot of viability.
posted by dismas at 8:34 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
Not just via McCarthy. He's anti-vax on his own dime, too.
posted by hanov3r at 8:37 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by hanov3r at 8:37 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
Tell Me No Lies The difference being that Raul Julia chewed the scenery *magnificently*.
Okay, Dennis Hopper in Super Mario Bros., then.
posted by SansPoint at 8:38 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
Okay, Dennis Hopper in Super Mario Bros., then.
posted by SansPoint at 8:38 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
If you skipped The Truman Show because of Carrey you might want to put it on your list.
He should have gotten an oscar for that, and another for Eternal Happiness of the Spotless Mind. But yeah, this movie is not going to do anything for his legacy.
I'm not so sure that Carrey's legacy is going to be for his muted "serious" roles. There is a lot of fondness in the zeitgeist for his comic stuff. I haven't seen either of the Ace Ventura's, but I think there is going to be a critical re-examination of his mid-to-late nineties run in the next couple of years.
posted by Think_Long at 8:39 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
He should have gotten an oscar for that, and another for Eternal Happiness of the Spotless Mind. But yeah, this movie is not going to do anything for his legacy.
I'm not so sure that Carrey's legacy is going to be for his muted "serious" roles. There is a lot of fondness in the zeitgeist for his comic stuff. I haven't seen either of the Ace Ventura's, but I think there is going to be a critical re-examination of his mid-to-late nineties run in the next couple of years.
posted by Think_Long at 8:39 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Yikes! I half expected a Flop House style "Mr. President, have you ever heard of a hedgehog?"
posted by coreywilliam at 8:40 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by coreywilliam at 8:40 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
at least with Marsden's casting we may finally get the spiritual successor to Hop we've been waiting for
posted by prize bull octorok at 8:43 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by prize bull octorok at 8:43 AM on April 30, 2019
I haven't seen either of the Ace Ventura's, but I think there is going to be a critical re-examination of his mid-to-late nineties run in the next couple of years.
I would STRONGLY recommend against watching them, since the premise "trans woman are disgusting" is surprisingly central to the first one, considering it's a wacky animal movie for children.
posted by ITheCosmos at 8:44 AM on April 30, 2019 [19 favorites]
I would STRONGLY recommend against watching them, since the premise "trans woman are disgusting" is surprisingly central to the first one, considering it's a wacky animal movie for children.
posted by ITheCosmos at 8:44 AM on April 30, 2019 [19 favorites]
Maybe this will follow the Series of Unfortunate Events trajectory and in a decade or so we'll get a surprisingly good Sonic series on Netflix with Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Robotnik.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:46 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:46 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
I, too, was going to unfavorably compare this trailer with the one for Detective Pikachu.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:49 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by Going To Maine at 8:49 AM on April 30, 2019
Maybe this will follow the Series of Unfortunate Events trajectory and in a decade or so we'll get a surprisingly good Sonic series on Netflix with Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Robotnik.
"Maybe THIS time..." is the Sonic Fan's mantra.
Maybe THIS time we'll get the series we've always wanted...
(FWIW I've heard Sonic Boom isn't bad...)
posted by gc at 8:49 AM on April 30, 2019
"Maybe THIS time..." is the Sonic Fan's mantra.
Maybe THIS time we'll get the series we've always wanted...
(FWIW I've heard Sonic Boom isn't bad...)
posted by gc at 8:49 AM on April 30, 2019
Why do the golden rings act like some kind of spacial portal?
They always have
posted by one for the books at 8:51 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
They always have
posted by one for the books at 8:51 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
It's Sanic the Horgheg!
posted by Fizz at 8:52 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by Fizz at 8:52 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
Sonic's creepy little hands and even creepier little fingers made the lizard part of my brain recoil in abject horror. Like, the idea of him walking towards me with those digits wiggling at me makes me think I could outrun the little aberration.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:55 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by slimepuppy at 8:55 AM on April 30, 2019
I think it'll make a fun dvd rental. Maybe, if I'm lucky, my kiddo will want to watch too. My bar is low.
posted by BeReasonable at 8:56 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by BeReasonable at 8:56 AM on April 30, 2019
This isn't going to be good, but I'm excited to see it, especially since I stumbled into their "Green Hills" filming location in Ladysmith, British Columbia last fall. My family and I were visiting from Manitoba and taking a rental car across the island to Tofino, and we pulled into Ladysmith for lunch. Their main street was quaint, colourful, and bustling with activity. Parking was hard to find, but we did it, settling on a place that advertised BBQ lunch specials. Except that while the interior was indeed a restaurant, the exterior and signage were a facade for the Sonic film.
Lunch was nice (Chinese food, actually) and afterward I had a delightfully surreal time walking around and finally noticing all the "Green Hills" signage and remodeled storefronts, as well as the sheriff's department and American flag that we parked across from and completely failed to register.
posted by Monster_Zero at 8:58 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
Lunch was nice (Chinese food, actually) and afterward I had a delightfully surreal time walking around and finally noticing all the "Green Hills" signage and remodeled storefronts, as well as the sheriff's department and American flag that we parked across from and completely failed to register.
posted by Monster_Zero at 8:58 AM on April 30, 2019 [10 favorites]
I'm not gonna lie, this could be sneaky good. It probably won't be but I can see a narrow path to where where this uncanny alley cocaine binge actually winds up being a lot of fun.
posted by East14thTaco at 9:16 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by East14thTaco at 9:16 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Its so perfect that Sonic is voiced by Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Recreation
posted by XMLicious at 9:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by XMLicious at 9:17 AM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
let's all hatewatch this and go to Olive Garden after!!
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:23 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
If, like me, you only knew "gotta go fast" as a meme thing and were wondering if it has roots in canon, Know Your Meme has you covered.
posted by ckape at 9:29 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by ckape at 9:29 AM on April 30, 2019
I groaned out loud at "every hero has a genesis".
I have to begrudge a point to whoever came up with that one.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:34 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
I have to begrudge a point to whoever came up with that one.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:34 AM on April 30, 2019 [15 favorites]
MEYERS: No, no, no! He was supposed to have attitude.posted by Fizz at 9:42 AM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
SILVERMAN: Um... wh-what do you mean, exactly?
MEYERS: Oh, you know, attitude, attitude! Uh... sunglasses!
EXECUTIVE: Can we put him in more of a "hip-hop" context?
KRUSTY: Forget context, he's gotta be a surfer. Give me a nice shmear of surfer.
EXECUTIVE: I feel we should rastafy him by ... ten percent or so.
Silverman redraws Poochie. They're still not totally satisfied.
MEYERS: Hmm... I think he needs a little more attitude.
Silverman blackens in Poochie's sunglasses.
EXECUTIVE: Oh yeah, bingo. There it is, right there!
that was the genesis (now I'm doing it!) of the original 199X Sonic. This new one is more like "make the legs 10% longer, we want the viewer to be unable to stop imagining them flexing and straddling things"
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:49 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:49 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
EXECUTIVE: I feel we should rastafy him by ... ten percent or so.
That's actually appropriate as the original Sonic was basically a Poochie-fied version of Mario.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:51 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
That's actually appropriate as the original Sonic was basically a Poochie-fied version of Mario.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:51 AM on April 30, 2019 [13 favorites]
The UK version will have the tagline "Every hero has a mega drive" and people will go to it expecting a sex comedy. Hopefully their expectations will be disappointed...
posted by howfar at 9:53 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
posted by howfar at 9:53 AM on April 30, 2019 [11 favorites]
1996 Coolio : My words are my precious children, Yankovic. Hands off my song.
2019 Coolio: Please make the check out to Coolio Hedghog Productions, 1 Filing Cabinet Street, Caymen Islands.
posted by AndrewStephens at 9:57 AM on April 30, 2019 [53 favorites]
2019 Coolio: Please make the check out to Coolio Hedghog Productions, 1 Filing Cabinet Street, Caymen Islands.
posted by AndrewStephens at 9:57 AM on April 30, 2019 [53 favorites]
This is the perfect movie to wait for on Netflix, because then I can fast-forward through 80 minutes of painful jokes to watch the maybe 10 minutes that might be interesting/funny.
Or I could just watch Parks and Rec again.
posted by emjaybee at 9:59 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Or I could just watch Parks and Rec again.
posted by emjaybee at 9:59 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Instead of seeing this movie I shall play Toejam & Earl: Panic on Funkotron again.
posted by overeducated_alligator at 10:00 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by overeducated_alligator at 10:00 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
This is the next best thing to the James Marsden Nacho Fries Interstellar movie that Taco Bell promised us.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:01 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:01 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
If you accept the premise that the original Sonic game was okay: there was a second game, almost indistinguishable from the first one, that was also okay. EVERY OTHER ATTEMPT to create a new entry in the franchise has been about as successful as the maiden voyage of the Titanic. In the early years of this century they repeatedly tried to make a 3d version of the game that wasn't obviously terrible, with increasingly desperate THIS TIME FOR SURE!!! marketing campaigns...
Anyway, after all that, it'd be really weird if they made a watchable movie. The fact that they clearly didn't just means God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:01 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
Anyway, after all that, it'd be really weird if they made a watchable movie. The fact that they clearly didn't just means God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:01 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
Sing or Swim Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles were good.
After that, though...
posted by SansPoint at 10:04 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
After that, though...
posted by SansPoint at 10:04 AM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
posted by biffa at 10:47 AM on April 30 [1 favorite +] [!]
?
posted by Navelgazer at 10:08 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by biffa at 10:47 AM on April 30 [1 favorite +] [!]
?
posted by Navelgazer at 10:08 AM on April 30, 2019
You can play my Sega
If you really beg-a
You can play my Sega
(Til I turn it off)
^this little bit of doggerel from an old Sega magazine has been stuck in my thread forever and can be sung to most of the music from the original Sonic games. My gift to you, MetaFilter
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:16 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
If you really beg-a
You can play my Sega
(Til I turn it off)
^this little bit of doggerel from an old Sega magazine has been stuck in my thread forever and can be sung to most of the music from the original Sonic games. My gift to you, MetaFilter
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:16 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's official, I've lived long enough to see my children's childhood memories trodden upon.
posted by tommasz at 10:17 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by tommasz at 10:17 AM on April 30, 2019
Every time I read James Marsden, I think people mean James Marsters, and I get excited then disappointed.
posted by JDHarper at 10:30 AM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by JDHarper at 10:30 AM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
This … thing happened because the jig is up on using Canadian real estate to launder money, and someone has a shit-ton of cash they need to clean and they don't mind if they lose 95% of it.
Either that or cocaine has made a pretty big comeback in the movie industry. You'd have to have sinuses that looked like the crystal maze before this … thing seemed like a good idea
posted by scruss at 10:42 AM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
Either that or cocaine has made a pretty big comeback in the movie industry. You'd have to have sinuses that looked like the crystal maze before this … thing seemed like a good idea
posted by scruss at 10:42 AM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
Calling Sonic a "Poochie-fied Mario" is giving him extremely short shrift. He's poochie-fied Mickey Mouse.
Anyway this movie looks terrible and the secret sequel to the Super Mario Brothers movie that nobody asked for and I can't wait to see it. The best part is at the end when Carrey looks the most like Dr. Robotnik and that's the over the top silly bullshit I want. I don't want a buddy cop movie with a CGI horror, I want an entire CGI fever dream.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:44 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Anyway this movie looks terrible and the secret sequel to the Super Mario Brothers movie that nobody asked for and I can't wait to see it. The best part is at the end when Carrey looks the most like Dr. Robotnik and that's the over the top silly bullshit I want. I don't want a buddy cop movie with a CGI horror, I want an entire CGI fever dream.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:44 AM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Not at all familiar with Dr. Robotnik, so I saw was Jeffrey Combs as Milton Danvers, the asshole with the uzi .
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 10:47 AM on April 30, 2019
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 10:47 AM on April 30, 2019
As I run through the zone of the egg of death I take a look at my rings and realize I got none left,
'Cause I've been blastin' and processin' so long that even Robotnik thinks that my mind is gone!
posted by subocoyne at 10:50 AM on April 30, 2019 [16 favorites]
'Cause I've been blastin' and processin' so long that even Robotnik thinks that my mind is gone!
posted by subocoyne at 10:50 AM on April 30, 2019 [16 favorites]
> Carrey's (via Jenny McCarthy) an anti-vaxx guy, or at least lent them a lot of viability.
> Not just via McCarthy. He's anti-vax on his own dime, too.
Eww. I did not know that.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:53 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
> Not just via McCarthy. He's anti-vax on his own dime, too.
Eww. I did not know that.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:53 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Well, I can see it's no Howard the Duck.
posted by Naberius at 11:05 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Naberius at 11:05 AM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
You can play my Sega
If you really beg-a
You can play my Sega
(Til I turn it off)
That doesn't even work. It's SAY-ga. Not SEH-ga.
Maybe, if we're going full 90s nostalgia, then maybe:
You can play my Sega
If you like Lou Bega
You can play my Sega
(Mambo Number Five! YAWP!)
posted by Naberius at 11:14 AM on April 30, 2019
If you really beg-a
You can play my Sega
(Til I turn it off)
That doesn't even work. It's SAY-ga. Not SEH-ga.
Maybe, if we're going full 90s nostalgia, then maybe:
You can play my Sega
If you like Lou Bega
You can play my Sega
(Mambo Number Five! YAWP!)
posted by Naberius at 11:14 AM on April 30, 2019
Mambo Number Five!
Space Mambo Channel Five?
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:18 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Space Mambo Channel Five?
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:18 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
jrishel: "I am here for the Frogger Extended Cinematic Universe."
It's only a matter of time.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:47 AM on April 30, 2019
It's only a matter of time.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:47 AM on April 30, 2019
This is like cult classic level awful looking and I wonder if that is the point somehow...but that would require someone involved being clever.
Or waaaay dumber. It generally doesn't work if you're trying to do it on purpose.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:52 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Or waaaay dumber. It generally doesn't work if you're trying to do it on purpose.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:52 AM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Good morning, just thinking about how there is a non-zero chance that Paramount’s Sonic the Hedgehog will heavily lean on an emotional beat where the buddy cop man will learn to trust Sonic & then will defiantly say to the villain, “Blue Lives Matter!” as they fight side by sideThe. worst. timeline.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:55 AM on April 30, 2019 [21 favorites]
it is actually normal and OK to make bad movies out of children's cartoon characters though
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:00 PM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:00 PM on April 30, 2019 [3 favorites]
Other joke predictions:
- something about switching from gold coins to bitcoin
- Dr. Robotnik name-checking Elon Musk as one of his fiercest rivals
- sly allusion to strange artwork featuring Sonic that can be found on the internet
Dr. Robotnik name-checking Elon Musk as one of his fiercest rivals
In my head-canon, their rivalry is purely romantic; It turns out that Grimes left him for the man with a much worse-looking mustache.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:21 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
In my head-canon, their rivalry is purely romantic; It turns out that Grimes left him for the man with a much worse-looking mustache.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:21 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
Can I just express how weary I am of the ironically transgressive too-smart-for-everyone wise-cracking villain trope? I really wasn't expecting the ungainly stilt-legged CGI Sonic would be out Poochied by Robotnik.
Yikes! I half expected a Flop House style "Mr. President, have you ever heard of a hedgehog?"
The thing that excites me most about this movie is its inevitable coverage on The Flop House.
posted by wordless reply at 12:27 PM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
Yikes! I half expected a Flop House style "Mr. President, have you ever heard of a hedgehog?"
The thing that excites me most about this movie is its inevitable coverage on The Flop House.
posted by wordless reply at 12:27 PM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
This is like someone just Button-Mashing the Nostalgia Controller and not really understanding how to play that game.
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 12:34 PM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 12:34 PM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
it is actually normal and OK to make bad movies out of children's cartoon characters though
This is true, but if you aim it at the 90s nostalgia market, that market will naturally aim back.
posted by howfar at 12:39 PM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
This is true, but if you aim it at the 90s nostalgia market, that market will naturally aim back.
posted by howfar at 12:39 PM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
Having this movie and Detectve Pikachu playing simultaneously is just a Weird Science magic lightning bolt away from unleashing Sonichu into our physical plane.
posted by dr_dank at 12:46 PM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 12:46 PM on April 30, 2019 [8 favorites]
I'm here for the origin story where he kills Alex Kidd.
SEGA!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 12:46 PM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
SEGA!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 12:46 PM on April 30, 2019 [4 favorites]
I like how everyone is suddenly really concerned with the artistic integrity of an over-wrought song made for a movie about a White Saviour by a third-tier west coast rapper previously best known for an upbeat party anthem who ended up hanging out with Insane Clown Posse.
posted by thecjm at 12:48 PM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by thecjm at 12:48 PM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
I'm here for the origin story where he kills Alex Kidd.
YES
YES YES YES
EXTREME BODY HORROR PARPLIN, CHOKKINNA, AND GOOSEKA PLEASE
on a related note if this movie doesn't have a fuckin Opa-Opa cameo the entire internet will know my wrath
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:50 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
YES
YES YES YES
EXTREME BODY HORROR PARPLIN, CHOKKINNA, AND GOOSEKA PLEASE
on a related note if this movie doesn't have a fuckin Opa-Opa cameo the entire internet will know my wrath
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:50 PM on April 30, 2019 [1 favorite]
I like how everyone is suddenly really concerned with the artistic integrity of an over-wrought song made for a movie about a White Saviour by a third-tier west coast rapper previously best known for an upbeat party anthem who ended up hanging out with Insane Clown Posse.
Don't forget pretty decent B-movie star
posted by gc at 1:01 PM on April 30, 2019
Don't forget pretty decent B-movie star
posted by gc at 1:01 PM on April 30, 2019
I'm just really morbidly curious to learn about the behind the scenes.
> Why is Sonic suddenly an alien?
Wasn't he always "from planet Mobius" in the west? This looks like it's a "got trapped on Earth somehow, is trying to go fast enough to open a portal home, takes Robotnik with him by accident" thing.
> (FWIW I've heard Sonic Boom isn't bad...)
This gag cracks me up.
posted by lucidium at 1:12 PM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
> Why is Sonic suddenly an alien?
Wasn't he always "from planet Mobius" in the west? This looks like it's a "got trapped on Earth somehow, is trying to go fast enough to open a portal home, takes Robotnik with him by accident" thing.
> (FWIW I've heard Sonic Boom isn't bad...)
This gag cracks me up.
posted by lucidium at 1:12 PM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
Eh. I'm holding out for a live action Polybius movie.
posted by UltraMorgnus at 1:36 PM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by UltraMorgnus at 1:36 PM on April 30, 2019 [5 favorites]
I had to wipe my eyes with toilet paper after watching this.
posted by Quasimike at 2:34 PM on April 30, 2019
posted by Quasimike at 2:34 PM on April 30, 2019
Eh. I'm holding out for a live action Polybius movie.
How about a "The Twilight Zone-esque" short to tide you over?
posted by jkaczor at 2:36 PM on April 30, 2019
How about a "The Twilight Zone-esque" short to tide you over?
posted by jkaczor at 2:36 PM on April 30, 2019
A digital artist on Twitter made a few fixes to the design of movie Sonic and the result is a 1000% improvement.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:39 PM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:39 PM on April 30, 2019 [9 favorites]
What the hell did James Marsden do and who did he do it to?
posted by lumpenprole at 2:58 PM on April 30, 2019
posted by lumpenprole at 2:58 PM on April 30, 2019
I read the post as saying James Marsters. Was disappointed.
posted by greermahoney at 3:07 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by greermahoney at 3:07 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Songs that Would have Been More Appropriate and more Nostalgic to the 90s than Gangstas Paradise:
5. House Of Pain, “Jump Around”
posted by acb at 4:03 PM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
5. House Of Pain, “Jump Around”
posted by acb at 4:03 PM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]
that read like sponcon
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:23 PM on April 30, 2019
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:23 PM on April 30, 2019
What the hell did James Marsden do
He starred in Hop.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:34 PM on April 30, 2019
He starred in Hop.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:34 PM on April 30, 2019
I wonder if, now that it's gone viral as being awful, they'll spend money to redo all the CG, basically like the Kevin Spacey / Christopher Plummer swap.
Oh and punch up the script now too, to play into the meme stuff, a la Snakes on a Plane.
So basically the Ship of Theseus but with hedgehogs.
posted by condour75 at 6:15 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
Oh and punch up the script now too, to play into the meme stuff, a la Snakes on a Plane.
So basically the Ship of Theseus but with hedgehogs.
posted by condour75 at 6:15 PM on April 30, 2019 [2 favorites]
It's a very weird day when Parmount/Sega releases a Sonic design, and it's horrifying,
... while a Spanish right wing party designs an anti-gay ghost that's hella cute.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 6:30 PM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
... while a Spanish right wing party designs an anti-gay ghost that's hella cute.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 6:30 PM on April 30, 2019 [7 favorites]
I think the soundtrack is maybe better than going all super serious *BWAAARM* inception style.
Hmmm.
Now that I say that it actually kinda works (at first anyway, goes a bit wierd when it desyncs)
So no I take that back. They should do another trailer in full over serious BWARM mode.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:05 AM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
Hmmm.
Now that I say that it actually kinda works (at first anyway, goes a bit wierd when it desyncs)
So no I take that back. They should do another trailer in full over serious BWARM mode.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:05 AM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
I read the comments before I viewed the trailer, and based on the comments I was expecting something singularly awful. But the trailer only looks like ordinary-bad-kids-movie levels of bad to me, of which I see maybe 2-4 per year. (The trailers, of course, not the full movies.) Don't get my hopes up like that!
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:22 AM on May 1, 2019
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:22 AM on May 1, 2019
at least with Marsden's casting we may finally get the spiritual successor to Hop we've been waiting for
Others are thinking along the same lines.
posted by robertc at 5:01 AM on May 1, 2019
Others are thinking along the same lines.
posted by robertc at 5:01 AM on May 1, 2019
I'm in a weird position because at one point in the early 1990s I had written more official Sonic fiction than anyone else in the world, but I've also worked in movie publicity and have scripted trailers. So I may be uniquely qualified to comment on this.
What we've got here is a futile attempt to do an Act 1 trailer (only showing material from the opening section of the movie), futile because nobody cares about the set-up for this turd. At the end we glimpse two characters falling through a giant ring (in the games that's the way Sonic gets access to bonus levels), presumably to planet Moebius, which you can just see in the background of the Carrey-as-transformed-Robotnik shot.
The early Sonic games are interesting because while they don't exactly have a story--a problem when trying to novelise them I can tell you--they do have a pretty good meta-story of Robotnik trying to take over the world through industrialisation and almost succeeding, told mostly through the environmental and level design: each level is more built up and mechanised than the one before, until by the end Sonic is mostly running through tunnels inside a giant machine. Finally Robotnik's devices are destroyed and the world returns to pastoral loveliness. This all went to shit with Sonic Adventure on the Dreamcast, and I have no idea what canon is these days.
The Super Mario Bros movie opened right when I was working on the Sonic books, and I went along on the first day in the spirit of seeing how a different team approached the problems of reworking a platform game into a traditional entertainment medium. I came out thinking, "Well, no matter how badly I screw these books up, it can't be worse than that." I can only hope that someone will watch the Sonic movie and take the same solace from it that I did 25 years ago, because I suspect that'll be about the only pleasure to be taken from it.
posted by Hogshead at 5:29 AM on May 1, 2019 [41 favorites]
What we've got here is a futile attempt to do an Act 1 trailer (only showing material from the opening section of the movie), futile because nobody cares about the set-up for this turd. At the end we glimpse two characters falling through a giant ring (in the games that's the way Sonic gets access to bonus levels), presumably to planet Moebius, which you can just see in the background of the Carrey-as-transformed-Robotnik shot.
The early Sonic games are interesting because while they don't exactly have a story--a problem when trying to novelise them I can tell you--they do have a pretty good meta-story of Robotnik trying to take over the world through industrialisation and almost succeeding, told mostly through the environmental and level design: each level is more built up and mechanised than the one before, until by the end Sonic is mostly running through tunnels inside a giant machine. Finally Robotnik's devices are destroyed and the world returns to pastoral loveliness. This all went to shit with Sonic Adventure on the Dreamcast, and I have no idea what canon is these days.
The Super Mario Bros movie opened right when I was working on the Sonic books, and I went along on the first day in the spirit of seeing how a different team approached the problems of reworking a platform game into a traditional entertainment medium. I came out thinking, "Well, no matter how badly I screw these books up, it can't be worse than that." I can only hope that someone will watch the Sonic movie and take the same solace from it that I did 25 years ago, because I suspect that'll be about the only pleasure to be taken from it.
posted by Hogshead at 5:29 AM on May 1, 2019 [41 favorites]
So. Jim Carrey will have the privilege of being the second best live-action Dr. Robotnik of all time. OF ALL TIME.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:46 AM on May 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:46 AM on May 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
All they had to do was make Sonic look like Sonic.
One job.
posted by delfin at 7:41 AM on May 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
One job.
posted by delfin at 7:41 AM on May 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
1996 Coolio : My words are my precious children, Yankovic. Hands off my song.
2019 Coolio: Please make the check out to Coolio Hedghog Productions, 1 Filing Cabinet Street, Caymen Islands.
Flagged as fantastic.
posted by Gelatin at 7:44 AM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
2019 Coolio: Please make the check out to Coolio Hedghog Productions, 1 Filing Cabinet Street, Caymen Islands.
Flagged as fantastic.
posted by Gelatin at 7:44 AM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
I know the audience for this movie: ten year old me who wore his Sonic 2 , are you up 2 it? shirt to school and enjoyed out so much he didn't care that the other kids made fun of him for it. Unfortunately, ten year old me last lived in the early nineties. This movie would have been incredibly radical back then. Now, I guess Jim Carrey has to pay off his bookie or something.
No one has cared about this franchise in a wholesome manner for decades. There have been a few 2D nostalgia revivals that were fun, but they do not a serious fan base make. I'll watch it sometime when I'm so sick that I can't think straight and the fever dreams make up for the everything in the movie.
I feel sorry for ten year old me that he didn't get a Sonic movie. I'm glad for him also, because he would have been incredibly disappointed and saddened after seeing this movie.
posted by Hactar at 10:55 AM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
No one has cared about this franchise in a wholesome manner for decades. There have been a few 2D nostalgia revivals that were fun, but they do not a serious fan base make. I'll watch it sometime when I'm so sick that I can't think straight and the fever dreams make up for the everything in the movie.
I feel sorry for ten year old me that he didn't get a Sonic movie. I'm glad for him also, because he would have been incredibly disappointed and saddened after seeing this movie.
posted by Hactar at 10:55 AM on May 1, 2019 [2 favorites]
The only Sonic movie I wanna see is written by an eleven year old version of me and involves Robotnik teaming up with King Koopa
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:52 PM on May 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:52 PM on May 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
at least they didn't let Max Landis write this
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:17 PM on May 1, 2019
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:17 PM on May 1, 2019
Like Sonic always said, "There is no ethical consumption under capitalism"
posted by wcfields at 3:33 PM on May 1, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by wcfields at 3:33 PM on May 1, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's official, I've lived long enough to see my children's childhood memories trodden upon.
Sheesh, how young are you? Starting with Spiderman death-by-reboot is taking about three years these days.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:51 PM on May 1, 2019
Sheesh, how young are you? Starting with Spiderman death-by-reboot is taking about three years these days.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:51 PM on May 1, 2019
Raul Julia chewed the scenery *magnificently*
For you, the day the Sonic trailer came to YouTube was the day a beloved childhood memory was defiled. For Hollywood, it was a Tuesday.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:48 AM on May 2, 2019 [6 favorites]
For you, the day the Sonic trailer came to YouTube was the day a beloved childhood memory was defiled. For Hollywood, it was a Tuesday.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:48 AM on May 2, 2019 [6 favorites]
I came home last night and found my two boys (9 and 12) watching this trailer. They have no idea who Sonic is. They saw me and said "Hey dad, you have to see this really awful trailer! This movie is going to be so bad!"
So who exactly are they targeting this pile of dreck to?
posted by fimbulvetr at 12:04 PM on May 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
So who exactly are they targeting this pile of dreck to?
posted by fimbulvetr at 12:04 PM on May 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
Apparently they're redoing all the animation. They're gonna replace sonic with a less creepy version.
But... What if that was always the plan.
What if they made the movie and realised that when you animate sonic he looks weird.
So they made a trailer with a different super creepy sonic, waited for the backlash, then said "we'll change it!" And just released the original sonic movie as made.
Now wierd looking sonic is great, because it's not creepy sonic. And it all it cost them was a fake trailer and a huge amount of free publicity...
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:26 PM on May 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
But... What if that was always the plan.
What if they made the movie and realised that when you animate sonic he looks weird.
So they made a trailer with a different super creepy sonic, waited for the backlash, then said "we'll change it!" And just released the original sonic movie as made.
Now wierd looking sonic is great, because it's not creepy sonic. And it all it cost them was a fake trailer and a huge amount of free publicity...
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:26 PM on May 2, 2019 [2 favorites]
Dental plan? After trailer outcry, Sonic the Hedgehog director tells fans to expect “changes”
Admits fans "aren't happy with the design"—but how much can be changed before November?
posted by XMLicious at 5:08 PM on May 3, 2019
Admits fans "aren't happy with the design"—but how much can be changed before November?
posted by XMLicious at 5:08 PM on May 3, 2019
Actual 2019 Weird Al: I'm not sure how comfortable I am with them using a parody of "Amish Paradise" in the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:13 PM on May 3, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:13 PM on May 3, 2019 [5 favorites]
I did briefly consider that maybe it had all been a setup for a different design they already had queued up, but dismissed it because it would require much more foresight and subtlety than I associate with Hollywood executives.
posted by ckape at 7:05 PM on May 3, 2019
posted by ckape at 7:05 PM on May 3, 2019
I don't think it's quite on same scale as Pixar accidentally trashing Toy Story assets a few months before release, but it's probably close. And it doesn't really bode well for the movie because this is the time frame where they should be polishing everything. I'm sure they can drop in a new model and rig for 90% of the existing frames, it's that 10% of the edge cases that will require a lot of crunch time from someone, the "My face is tired" moments.
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 7:26 PM on May 3, 2019
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 7:26 PM on May 3, 2019
Milan Polk at Vulture: "We Asked a Hedgehog Dentist to Explain Why Sonic’s Human Teeth Are So Upsetting"
posted by Going To Maine at 7:36 PM on May 3, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 7:36 PM on May 3, 2019 [2 favorites]
("My face is tired," is a line from Mass Effect: Andromeda. It got terrible reviews because most of the animation was done using computer algorithms without enough person-hours for review and manual tweaks.)
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 7:38 PM on May 3, 2019
posted by GenderNullPointerException at 7:38 PM on May 3, 2019
a mustachioed Jim Carrey prancing across the screen to the tune of Gangsta's Paradise?
Sonic's got it, others don't.
posted by duffell at 4:22 AM on May 4, 2019
Sonic's got it, others don't.
posted by duffell at 4:22 AM on May 4, 2019
They should render a bunch of different fur colour passes and spike / clothing accessories while they're at it and let people insert their own sonic fan characters.
posted by lucidium at 8:09 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by lucidium at 8:09 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
Wait, we can have a Sonic movie, but after all this time no Super Mario Bros movie?
posted by loquacious at 8:43 AM on May 7, 2019
posted by loquacious at 8:43 AM on May 7, 2019
I am unclear if this is a deliberate act of forgetting.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:01 AM on May 7, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 11:01 AM on May 7, 2019 [5 favorites]
If they're doing a complete overhaul of the movie in post-production, it should only be to add Knuckles.
posted by ckape at 11:43 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ckape at 11:43 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]
They can't afford to do that. The whole reason they're making this movie is because they think they can turn it into the Sonic Cinematic Universe, so they have to save Knuckles and all the other characters for later films.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 11:53 AM on May 7, 2019
posted by J.K. Seazer at 11:53 AM on May 7, 2019
(that was a joke about how you could use the Sonic and Knuckles cart to put Knuckles into earlier Sonic games)
posted by ckape at 5:47 PM on May 7, 2019
posted by ckape at 5:47 PM on May 7, 2019
> If they're doing a complete overhaul of the movie in post-production, it should only be to add Knuckles.
Your wish, sir.
posted by lucidium at 4:53 PM on May 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
Your wish, sir.
posted by lucidium at 4:53 PM on May 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
Sonic the Hedgehog Release Pushed Back Three Months to Fix All That Stuff You Didn’t Like About Him
posted by octothorpe at 7:04 PM on May 26, 2019
posted by octothorpe at 7:04 PM on May 26, 2019
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posted by timdiggerm at 7:02 AM on April 30, 2019 [6 favorites]