It Has Come to My Attention That You’re Doing Karaoke Wrong
July 22, 2023 4:08 PM Subscribe
Kid Rock is not "fine."
posted by glonous keming at 4:16 PM on July 22, 2023 [40 favorites]
posted by glonous keming at 4:16 PM on July 22, 2023 [40 favorites]
In Japan among the foreigner population I feel like “no Bohemian Rhapsody” is probably a very important and valuable rule to implement, especially because no one tries to do the harmonies and it just winds up being shouting all the lyrics until they get to the Good Part (an instrumental solo)
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:20 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:20 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Luke Winkie forgot the most important rule of karaoke:
Don’t judge.
posted by Kattullus at 4:25 PM on July 22, 2023 [18 favorites]
Don’t judge.
posted by Kattullus at 4:25 PM on July 22, 2023 [18 favorites]
I do have two karaoke dreams I have yet to ever really accompiish, mostly because I haven't applied myself.
I'm not really a singer. But I am an incredibly good mimic of spoken vocal lines. I can quote dialogue from Hitchhikers' Guide radio series that is spot on with timing and cadence. I also am not really into rap, although I have come to appreciate it and do have some favorites.
So, the two songs I want to do, they are not rap, but they are rap, and I could do both of them with great aplomb, and they would be One Night In Bangkok and Rock Me Amadeus.
posted by hippybear at 4:26 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
I'm not really a singer. But I am an incredibly good mimic of spoken vocal lines. I can quote dialogue from Hitchhikers' Guide radio series that is spot on with timing and cadence. I also am not really into rap, although I have come to appreciate it and do have some favorites.
So, the two songs I want to do, they are not rap, but they are rap, and I could do both of them with great aplomb, and they would be One Night In Bangkok and Rock Me Amadeus.
posted by hippybear at 4:26 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
Rock Me Amadeus is much, much faster than you think it is, especially in German. Almost as humiliating as trying and failing to keep up with White Lines.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 4:33 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 4:33 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
Please, for the love of God, don’t pressure someone into singing.I saw this and two other rules (no more than two people onstage, no songs over five minutes) simultaneously violated when I got pressured in a bar in Banff AB to join three colleagues in a rendition of “American Pie.” I demurred* but I was in the audience for the performance. It was... well, if you’ve seen Full Metal Jacket, you might recall the sniper scene, where Eightball and Doc Jay are hit by sniper fire and no one in the squad can get to them, only watch helplessly in horror as they are shot again and again, screaming and dying by inches. That’s what it was like that night.
*I had been a gigging musician for twenty years at that point. I viewed karaoke night the way a combat veteran dealing with PTSD might view people who dress head-to-toe in camouflage for their neighbourhood watch meeting.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:35 PM on July 22, 2023 [18 favorites]
Rock Me Amadeus is a song I've been rapping along with since it was debuted during the time I was taking German in high school from a really good high school teacher. I've even seen Falco in concert, in Germany! If I were to spend 30 minutes a day getting that one down, it'd be there quickly. I already KNOW it, I just need to polish it.
posted by hippybear at 4:36 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 4:36 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
In the Bay Area I have seen a “No Journey Before Midnight” sign in a karaoke bar, if you have lived in SF for any period of time you might understand the necessity of that sign
posted by cali at 4:53 PM on July 22, 2023 [21 favorites]
posted by cali at 4:53 PM on July 22, 2023 [21 favorites]
There's nothing wrong with showtunes.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:54 PM on July 22, 2023 [33 favorites]
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:54 PM on July 22, 2023 [33 favorites]
these are OK suggestions. it needed a last rule: if you're having fun, you're not doing it wrong.
posted by matjus at 4:59 PM on July 22, 2023 [16 favorites]
posted by matjus at 4:59 PM on July 22, 2023 [16 favorites]
I’d say the number one rule is to Have Fun and don’t be so serious, yeah.
posted by ener at 5:01 PM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by ener at 5:01 PM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
Overall, this advice is pretty good. I think upbeat songs that aren't too long are generally the best for everyone involved, maybe do one ballad if you've already done a couple peppier tunes. Ham it up, if that's your style. Thank the bar/city and tell them how excited you are to be back with them tonight as if you are a huge star and they have come to see you. If there is an extended musical break, do a monologue. Someone has to do the big karaoke standards like "Sweet Caroline," but there's also a sweet spot for familiar, but less-karaoke'd songs, like "Brandy" by Looking Glass. Having a sing-along part is great, "Touch of Grey" is a little long, but it has great energy and you can solicit everyone to sing "we will survive." If you want a kitschy 80s vibe, you can do "Our House" by Madness, or "Eternal Flame" by The Bangles, but never do "Luka" by Suzanne Vega. "Old Flame" by Alabama may be the best karaoke ballad because there's one really long note in each verse and it has a strong melody that doesn't require much range. If the now showtunes rule means no "Wig in the Box" from Hedwig, then that's a bad rule.
posted by snofoam at 5:07 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by snofoam at 5:07 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
There should be no more than two people on stage at any time.
Stage?
I haven't been to karaoke involving a stage since I was just out of university, I think. Everything since then has been private rooms with friends. I think I used to be a big "bar with stage" proponent but I feel like I don't really miss it now. It's just a lot cozier and the people I know are much more likely to sing when it's just us and we're just here to have a good time.
I'll throw in a guideline I like to stick to: if many people want to sing a song but no one wants to lead it, no one actually wants to sing the song.
posted by chrominance at 5:16 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
Stage?
I haven't been to karaoke involving a stage since I was just out of university, I think. Everything since then has been private rooms with friends. I think I used to be a big "bar with stage" proponent but I feel like I don't really miss it now. It's just a lot cozier and the people I know are much more likely to sing when it's just us and we're just here to have a good time.
I'll throw in a guideline I like to stick to: if many people want to sing a song but no one wants to lead it, no one actually wants to sing the song.
posted by chrominance at 5:16 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
Obviously, nothing from Hedwig can be barred.
That said, if you want to do nothing BUT showtunes, go to Marie's Crisis Cafe in NYC.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 5:26 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
That said, if you want to do nothing BUT showtunes, go to Marie's Crisis Cafe in NYC.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 5:26 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
I do karaoke exactly right. I don’t do karaoke.
I have a voice made for mime.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:27 PM on July 22, 2023 [18 favorites]
I have a voice made for mime.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:27 PM on July 22, 2023 [18 favorites]
The opening premise of this is so deeply unrelatable in Asia, I think I'll just disclose it now (while I'm sure there are exceptions), because fundamentally why is it western karaoke's only setting is to have it on an open stage???? Anyway, realizing this made me realize why all the opinionating about karaoke conveyed such a highly stressful situation. (For an example of that fundamental difference, one of Japan's popular karaoke chains, Manekineko Karaoke, opened here, and their entire setting is like everywhere else here: rooms of various sizes to fit bookings of various groups including solo. No one EVER goes karaoke to sing in front of strangers, my god. No wonder Americans make a big deal if someone can sing or not or if the song is boring or not.)
posted by cendawanita at 5:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [34 favorites]
posted by cendawanita at 5:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [34 favorites]
Be a supportive, engaged audience member.
There’s no vulnerability quite like singing karaoke to a disinterested, vacant audience.
This describes many a karaoke night I’ve been to, several “battles of the bands,” and most of the poetry readings. (It also calls to mind the attention-seeking behavior I’ve seen in the audience at every. single. graduation.)
I often think about how lonely those situations felt, and I wonder how recent and widespread it is.
I enjoyed reading this list. Thanks for sharing it!
posted by armeowda at 5:37 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
There’s no vulnerability quite like singing karaoke to a disinterested, vacant audience.
This describes many a karaoke night I’ve been to, several “battles of the bands,” and most of the poetry readings. (It also calls to mind the attention-seeking behavior I’ve seen in the audience at every. single. graduation.)
I often think about how lonely those situations felt, and I wonder how recent and widespread it is.
I enjoyed reading this list. Thanks for sharing it!
posted by armeowda at 5:37 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Probably the best karaoke performance I ever saw was that of a woman in her late fifties. She had a bad bleach job, and she wore bifocals, a hot pink sweatshirt with plastic crap appliqued on it, and a pair of black snow pants because she'd ridden her snowmobile to the pub. She also had a voice like velvet and the stage presence of Lena Horne. During her song, she approached a guy (cute, early thirties) who was sitting next to the square of carpet that served as the stage and began singing specifically to him, torch-singer style. We all howled -- but at him, not at her, because she was carrying off a bit of self-parody with considerable confidence and panache and he looked like a deer in headlights.
Another fun memory was the guy who did the Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes duet "Up Where We Belong" as a solo, using his regular register for the Joe Cocker parts and a falsetto for the Jennifer Warnes parts and even gamely also changing his position from right- to left-facing or vice versa each time he changed parts, as though he were singing to his invisible duet partner each time.
One of the worst performances I saw was a group of girls who tried to do "The Locomotion". None of them knew the song, and for the most part they just stood there looking stricken, occasionally chiming in with a "DOOOO THE LOCOMOOOOOTION!!!".
Yes, some karaoke performances can be painfully bad. But there are always some that are quite decent, and occasionally there's a Susan Boyle-type moment. Karaoke works best when people don't take it too seriously and aren't assholes about the untalented/awkward performances. I also like it when there's a range of ability on display, because then I can get up and do a song knowing my performance won't be the worst.:) I especially like singing "Live to Tell" by Madonna, "No One is to Blame" by Howard Jones, and "Cry to Me" by Solomon Burke, but I do know quite a few songs and am open to browsing through the karaoke DJ's catalogue.
And for best results... only do a song if you know it and can hit all the notes.
posted by orange swan at 5:40 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
Another fun memory was the guy who did the Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes duet "Up Where We Belong" as a solo, using his regular register for the Joe Cocker parts and a falsetto for the Jennifer Warnes parts and even gamely also changing his position from right- to left-facing or vice versa each time he changed parts, as though he were singing to his invisible duet partner each time.
One of the worst performances I saw was a group of girls who tried to do "The Locomotion". None of them knew the song, and for the most part they just stood there looking stricken, occasionally chiming in with a "DOOOO THE LOCOMOOOOOTION!!!".
Yes, some karaoke performances can be painfully bad. But there are always some that are quite decent, and occasionally there's a Susan Boyle-type moment. Karaoke works best when people don't take it too seriously and aren't assholes about the untalented/awkward performances. I also like it when there's a range of ability on display, because then I can get up and do a song knowing my performance won't be the worst.:) I especially like singing "Live to Tell" by Madonna, "No One is to Blame" by Howard Jones, and "Cry to Me" by Solomon Burke, but I do know quite a few songs and am open to browsing through the karaoke DJ's catalogue.
And for best results... only do a song if you know it and can hit all the notes.
posted by orange swan at 5:40 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
The most important thing in karaoke is to not do it in the first place.
…it’s sort of like the first rule of nuclear weapons: don’t.
posted by aramaic at 5:41 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
…it’s sort of like the first rule of nuclear weapons: don’t.
posted by aramaic at 5:41 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
So this is where I talk about having been in a competitive karaoke league when I lived in Austin, right? I would agree with two of these rules based on experience from league: go big or go home and no songs over 5 minutes.
League was, at first, a fantastic amount of fun. Each team of I think about 7? did two solo songs and a duet/group each week, and we did like six weeks of regular competition and then semi finals and finals. Scoring was based on ballots for whoever was in the bar (bring your friends, which is why the bar liked it) and there were also games like "karaoke roulette" for points added to the evening's tally between rounds while they did scoring for the previous round and announced the winners.
(Why yes, I did rap It's Getting Hot in Here without EVER HAVING HEARD THE SONG, thanks Asylum Street Spankers for teaching me to riff that rap in your show in the middle of Hick Hop.)
At first it was fun to bring in props and do costumes, but then people got Very Serious about winning and it started to be less fun. My group gave it up after about three years, which was about the time too many people got super competitive about it all and Team Bringing the What the Fuck decided there was no more room for our style in the scene. (Our name was about how if we didn't make somebody go "what the fuck?" between our song choices and our singing at least once per night, we weren't going hard enough.) The people who ran the league loved us because they knew whatever we brought, it wasn't going to be Don't Stop Believing one more time. It was going to be different even if it was dumb.
Our last performance was in the finals of our last season. We usually got into the finals because the Serious People knew that a team that sang Take the Skinheads Bowling or Gay Bar or Dragostea Din Tei or Der Kommisar in German was never going to win, so we were a safe second choice. Our finale was Jungle Love, complete with costumes; I fronted in a furry pink and purple leopard-look jacket after Morris Day; the rest of the team were in animal costumes; and in the long instrumental break, I sang snippets of Steve Miller's Jungle Love and NIN's Closer. I was too busy working to know what happened, but I am told we went out in a blaze of glory. We didn't win, but we did make a lot of people go WTF, and that was a victory.
If I ever do karaoke in public again, aka if I ever get off immune-suppressant drugs, my rule is going to be take it easy and choose between either the most WTF song ever or one of my favorite 70s/80s standards (I have a list of songs I want to try after doing league for several years, of course) so everyone can sing along. Also one drink beforehand to loosen up, and Fisherman's friend in your bag in case your allergies are acting up.
Sing one for me and Team Bringing the WTF if you go!
posted by gentlyepigrams at 5:41 PM on July 22, 2023 [39 favorites]
League was, at first, a fantastic amount of fun. Each team of I think about 7? did two solo songs and a duet/group each week, and we did like six weeks of regular competition and then semi finals and finals. Scoring was based on ballots for whoever was in the bar (bring your friends, which is why the bar liked it) and there were also games like "karaoke roulette" for points added to the evening's tally between rounds while they did scoring for the previous round and announced the winners.
(Why yes, I did rap It's Getting Hot in Here without EVER HAVING HEARD THE SONG, thanks Asylum Street Spankers for teaching me to riff that rap in your show in the middle of Hick Hop.)
At first it was fun to bring in props and do costumes, but then people got Very Serious about winning and it started to be less fun. My group gave it up after about three years, which was about the time too many people got super competitive about it all and Team Bringing the What the Fuck decided there was no more room for our style in the scene. (Our name was about how if we didn't make somebody go "what the fuck?" between our song choices and our singing at least once per night, we weren't going hard enough.) The people who ran the league loved us because they knew whatever we brought, it wasn't going to be Don't Stop Believing one more time. It was going to be different even if it was dumb.
Our last performance was in the finals of our last season. We usually got into the finals because the Serious People knew that a team that sang Take the Skinheads Bowling or Gay Bar or Dragostea Din Tei or Der Kommisar in German was never going to win, so we were a safe second choice. Our finale was Jungle Love, complete with costumes; I fronted in a furry pink and purple leopard-look jacket after Morris Day; the rest of the team were in animal costumes; and in the long instrumental break, I sang snippets of Steve Miller's Jungle Love and NIN's Closer. I was too busy working to know what happened, but I am told we went out in a blaze of glory. We didn't win, but we did make a lot of people go WTF, and that was a victory.
If I ever do karaoke in public again, aka if I ever get off immune-suppressant drugs, my rule is going to be take it easy and choose between either the most WTF song ever or one of my favorite 70s/80s standards (I have a list of songs I want to try after doing league for several years, of course) so everyone can sing along. Also one drink beforehand to loosen up, and Fisherman's friend in your bag in case your allergies are acting up.
Sing one for me and Team Bringing the WTF if you go!
posted by gentlyepigrams at 5:41 PM on July 22, 2023 [39 favorites]
The worst karaoke performances are rarely authored by people who can’t sing.
Vindication for my approach.
posted by Artw at 5:59 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Vindication for my approach.
posted by Artw at 5:59 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
I’ll just add the “if you are an identity that shouldn’t say the n word then you also shouldn’t sing or rap it at karaoke.”
posted by WedgedPiano at 5:59 PM on July 22, 2023 [17 favorites]
posted by WedgedPiano at 5:59 PM on July 22, 2023 [17 favorites]
All of these problems can be avoided if you only ever do karaoke in Korean lounges where everyone gets their own room. Then you and all your friends can just sing along to all the songs. Collective voices and echoey acoustics are helped along by mutual goodwill.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:00 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 6:00 PM on July 22, 2023 [4 favorites]
never do "Luka" by Suzanne Vega.
Is "Tom's Diner" fair game?
I've only done karaoke once, alternating lyrics with my singing partner on "Bust A Move". I don't know if I would ever do it again, unless it was in one of those Asian-style private rooms, like cendawanita mentioned.
The video game convention PAX Prime (now PAX West) used to have a Rock Band stage near a popular cafe in the convention center where it was held. It was really fun to munch on a grain bowl while listening to random groups of people wail away on plastic instruments and microphones. My favorite performance one year was the group that chose Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" for their turn up on stage. Did those of us in the "audience" sing along? Hell yeah we did, and enjoyed every minute of it.
posted by May Kasahara at 6:02 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Is "Tom's Diner" fair game?
I've only done karaoke once, alternating lyrics with my singing partner on "Bust A Move". I don't know if I would ever do it again, unless it was in one of those Asian-style private rooms, like cendawanita mentioned.
The video game convention PAX Prime (now PAX West) used to have a Rock Band stage near a popular cafe in the convention center where it was held. It was really fun to munch on a grain bowl while listening to random groups of people wail away on plastic instruments and microphones. My favorite performance one year was the group that chose Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" for their turn up on stage. Did those of us in the "audience" sing along? Hell yeah we did, and enjoyed every minute of it.
posted by May Kasahara at 6:02 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
I’ll just add the “if you are an identity that shouldn’t say the n word then you also shouldn’t sing or rap it at karaoke.”
There is some… stuff in Walk This Way, probably don’t do that one. Also it is WAY faster than you remember.
posted by Artw at 6:04 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
There is some… stuff in Walk This Way, probably don’t do that one. Also it is WAY faster than you remember.
posted by Artw at 6:04 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
The most important thing in karaoke is to not do it in the first place.
…it’s sort of like the first rule of nuclear weapons: don’t.
Somebody is no fun at Barbenheimer parties.
posted by Artw at 6:05 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
…it’s sort of like the first rule of nuclear weapons: don’t.
Somebody is no fun at Barbenheimer parties.
posted by Artw at 6:05 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
Somebody is no fun at Barbenheimer parties.
Can confirm.
posted by aramaic at 6:09 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
Can confirm.
posted by aramaic at 6:09 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
I can verify that the karaoke sanctioned version of "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" cuts the second verse and is definitely not seven minutes. It's also fun to do because as far as I can tell from the lyrics, Celine Dion is singing about having nasty, nasty sex.
I don't think most of the people he said get some kind of pass should get some kind of pass. I haven't heard anyone doing Michael Jackson except "Thriller" around Halloween, though. Once in awhile, someone does "Picture."
People will do show tunes, deal with it.
I do, however, agree with this: "Ideally, karaoke is supposed to fabricate an illusive glitch in reality where your body is superimposed onto a ridiculously gifted—and ridiculously hot—rock ’n’ roll superstar."
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:14 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
I don't think most of the people he said get some kind of pass should get some kind of pass. I haven't heard anyone doing Michael Jackson except "Thriller" around Halloween, though. Once in awhile, someone does "Picture."
People will do show tunes, deal with it.
I do, however, agree with this: "Ideally, karaoke is supposed to fabricate an illusive glitch in reality where your body is superimposed onto a ridiculously gifted—and ridiculously hot—rock ’n’ roll superstar."
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:14 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Is "Tom's Diner" fair game?
As long as you do the original, which is strictly a cappella.
That would actually be a pretty punk rock choice, actually.
posted by mykescipark at 6:16 PM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
As long as you do the original, which is strictly a cappella.
That would actually be a pretty punk rock choice, actually.
posted by mykescipark at 6:16 PM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
Metafilter: singing about having nasty, nasty sex.
posted by Windopaene at 6:24 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by Windopaene at 6:24 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
I’ll just add the “if you are an identity that shouldn’t say the n word then you also shouldn’t sing or rap it at karaoke.”
Agreed. There are songs I wouldn't touch as a white person above and beyond the n word, like I would never take 99 Problems to karaoke. Also, especially for folks interested in karaoke as mating display for a particular gender, you might want to consider whether your song choices will attract or repel your gender of interest. The obvious case is anything with an excess of bitch and hoe talk at women, but there are a lot of songs out there that will earn you side-eye instead of a chance to chat up.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 6:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Agreed. There are songs I wouldn't touch as a white person above and beyond the n word, like I would never take 99 Problems to karaoke. Also, especially for folks interested in karaoke as mating display for a particular gender, you might want to consider whether your song choices will attract or repel your gender of interest. The obvious case is anything with an excess of bitch and hoe talk at women, but there are a lot of songs out there that will earn you side-eye instead of a chance to chat up.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 6:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Karaoke tip for Japan: It's usually off by default but just in case when you are in a group setting you probably want the scoring option turned off.
Unless you are a in bar/snack that gives out prizes for getting zorome (double) scores like 88 and 77 and so forth. That's just part of the experience.
Common request I try to ignore at bars: We Are the World.
Weird request I've gotten more than once: Bicycle Race by Queen.
I once got into a "Queen-off" with a guy at a bar once. We of course finished with "We Are The Champions."
posted by LostInUbe at 6:31 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
Unless you are a in bar/snack that gives out prizes for getting zorome (double) scores like 88 and 77 and so forth. That's just part of the experience.
Common request I try to ignore at bars: We Are the World.
Weird request I've gotten more than once: Bicycle Race by Queen.
I once got into a "Queen-off" with a guy at a bar once. We of course finished with "We Are The Champions."
posted by LostInUbe at 6:31 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
As a mediocre signer I have found the crowd reacts positively and enthusiastically to songs with overt drug use and drinking references.
posted by mmascolino at 6:51 PM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by mmascolino at 6:51 PM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
So, the two songs I want to do, they are not rap, but they are rap, and I could do both of them with great aplomb, and they would be One Night In Bangkok and Rock Me Amadeus.
A theater company I once worked with did a karaoke auction as a fundraiser; we rented out a karaoke bar for a couple hours, and then rounded up a squad of 6-7 company members our audience could bid on; once an hour, whoever had the highest bid for each of us either got to pick the solo we did, or the duet they would do WITH us. I was one of the singers, and early on there was a guy who looked weirdly like John Belushi who used his winning bid to do "Love Shack" with me. And I mentioned that this guy looked like John Belushi - but he SOUNDED like Fred Schneider. Combine that with my overly-enthusiastic rendition of the "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN ROOF - rusted!" bit and it was a complete blast.
....One especially fun karaoke performance I've seen manages to break the "nothing over 5 minutes" rule, but it got cancelled out by the "the bad singers are often awesome" rule. A guy chose "Hey Jude" as his song, and....y'all, he could not sing. Like, to the point that a few people at different tables were trying desperately to smother giggles. But - sure enough, he was selling it, and so by the end of the song everyone else in the bar was waving hands, some even holding lighters, and singing along with the "Naaaaaaaaaaaa naaaa-naaaaa nanananaaaaaaaaaaa....." part.
.....I would also add another rule - or maybe more of just a suggestion. That is: "Don't forget that you're probably drinking and that can affect your skill." ....A friend found this out the hard way when after 3 White Russians he got up to do Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Give It Away Now".....but the song's pacing is so fast and frenetic that he ended up fumbling the first couple lines, lost his place, and then spent the next 3 minutes laughing and wailing "what was I thinking?"
*That friend, by the way, was one of the big karaoke buffs in our crowd, and someday I want to duet to "Fairytale Of New York" with the guy.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:00 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
A theater company I once worked with did a karaoke auction as a fundraiser; we rented out a karaoke bar for a couple hours, and then rounded up a squad of 6-7 company members our audience could bid on; once an hour, whoever had the highest bid for each of us either got to pick the solo we did, or the duet they would do WITH us. I was one of the singers, and early on there was a guy who looked weirdly like John Belushi who used his winning bid to do "Love Shack" with me. And I mentioned that this guy looked like John Belushi - but he SOUNDED like Fred Schneider. Combine that with my overly-enthusiastic rendition of the "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN ROOF - rusted!" bit and it was a complete blast.
....One especially fun karaoke performance I've seen manages to break the "nothing over 5 minutes" rule, but it got cancelled out by the "the bad singers are often awesome" rule. A guy chose "Hey Jude" as his song, and....y'all, he could not sing. Like, to the point that a few people at different tables were trying desperately to smother giggles. But - sure enough, he was selling it, and so by the end of the song everyone else in the bar was waving hands, some even holding lighters, and singing along with the "Naaaaaaaaaaaa naaaa-naaaaa nanananaaaaaaaaaaa....." part.
.....I would also add another rule - or maybe more of just a suggestion. That is: "Don't forget that you're probably drinking and that can affect your skill." ....A friend found this out the hard way when after 3 White Russians he got up to do Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Give It Away Now".....but the song's pacing is so fast and frenetic that he ended up fumbling the first couple lines, lost his place, and then spent the next 3 minutes laughing and wailing "what was I thinking?"
*That friend, by the way, was one of the big karaoke buffs in our crowd, and someday I want to duet to "Fairytale Of New York" with the guy.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:00 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
My most essential rule is: "I enjoy singing this song in the shower" does not in any way equate to "this would be great at karaoke."
The problem with any kind of rule here is that, in most cases, by the time you're in a position to apply it you've impaired all normal judgment with generous amounts of alcohol.
Hot tip: Eat It by Weird Al has never let me down.
posted by bjrubble at 7:07 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
The problem with any kind of rule here is that, in most cases, by the time you're in a position to apply it you've impaired all normal judgment with generous amounts of alcohol.
Hot tip: Eat It by Weird Al has never let me down.
posted by bjrubble at 7:07 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
[Inner Empire]: you should sing “The Smallest Church in Saint-Saëns”, you would sing it really well.
posted by Artw at 7:15 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:15 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
I misread the title of this post as “ It Has Come to My Attention That You’re Doing Karate Wrong” and I’m only a little disappointed. 🥋
posted by device55 at 7:18 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by device55 at 7:18 PM on July 22, 2023 [5 favorites]
In an alternate universe Metafilter "It Has Come To My Attention That You're Doing Karate Wrong" is about an article written by Sonny Chiba lamenting the fact that no one fights bulls or bears with karate anymore.
posted by LostInUbe at 7:22 PM on July 22, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by LostInUbe at 7:22 PM on July 22, 2023 [9 favorites]
I’ve done a lot of business trips to random cities and towns in America (and internationally, but that’s for another post). I always ask the locals where to sing karaoke. You learn a lot about the character of a neighborhood by seeing who’s singing karaoke at a bar on a Tuesday.
Anyway, my other karaoke advice is that make sure the audience can hear you (sing into the mic), and try to sing on the beat. Some weird tracks or bad sound systems will be out of sync; trust the music, not the scrolling lyrics.
And you don’t have to be a good singer to do karaoke, just a good performer who’s having fun. Channel your best Cameron Diaz from My Best Friends Wedding if needed.
posted by WedgedPiano at 7:25 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Anyway, my other karaoke advice is that make sure the audience can hear you (sing into the mic), and try to sing on the beat. Some weird tracks or bad sound systems will be out of sync; trust the music, not the scrolling lyrics.
And you don’t have to be a good singer to do karaoke, just a good performer who’s having fun. Channel your best Cameron Diaz from My Best Friends Wedding if needed.
posted by WedgedPiano at 7:25 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
A suggestion, for people aghast at the idea of singing solo in front of a crowd of strangers: try the Suzuki method and reverse that dynamic. AKA Pub Choir.
posted by bartleby at 7:25 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by bartleby at 7:25 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
My rules of thumb are more like observations:
1) if the bar is frequented by my friend's Filipino tennis teammates, they will make k.d. lang's Miss Chatelaine your new favorite song. Really there should be a whole separate set of rules for the Philippines and the Filipino diaspora.
2) the surly-looking dude drinking alone at the bar will have the most angelic falsetto (this rule may only be true in the Hawaiian archipelago).
3) enthusiasm is more important at karaoke than having perfect pitch. Having both is obviously the best. I acknowledge the pain of the professional musician (a friend is a composer/former a cappella person) but at least in the East Asian countries I have sung karaoke in (Korea, Japan, Taiwan) you are there because you are drunk, not because you are particularly good at singing, and no one expects much!
posted by spamandkimchi at 7:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
1) if the bar is frequented by my friend's Filipino tennis teammates, they will make k.d. lang's Miss Chatelaine your new favorite song. Really there should be a whole separate set of rules for the Philippines and the Filipino diaspora.
2) the surly-looking dude drinking alone at the bar will have the most angelic falsetto (this rule may only be true in the Hawaiian archipelago).
3) enthusiasm is more important at karaoke than having perfect pitch. Having both is obviously the best. I acknowledge the pain of the professional musician (a friend is a composer/former a cappella person) but at least in the East Asian countries I have sung karaoke in (Korea, Japan, Taiwan) you are there because you are drunk, not because you are particularly good at singing, and no one expects much!
posted by spamandkimchi at 7:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [7 favorites]
I've only done private room karaoke, which is a safe space. People who know R. Kelly is trash nailed that song and it's ok. I can sing off-key "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Let's just do this.
Post pandemic I haven't done karaoke birthdays but it's super fun. No one cares and it's a good time. No rules. Just go sing.
posted by edencosmic at 7:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Post pandemic I haven't done karaoke birthdays but it's super fun. No one cares and it's a good time. No rules. Just go sing.
posted by edencosmic at 7:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
I would never go to a karaoke bar, but I do kind of miss the parties in the early 2000s that usually ended with people piled into the living room and doing karaoke with Filipino rigs full of pirated songs. Because I cannot carry a tune on my own, but I can match my voice to other people's pretty well; I don't know what the name for it is, I usually just tell people I'm tone deaf because it's simpler, but I took some UK university's test of identifying whether a series of notes matched the previously played one and was in the 99th percentile. So I like singing with people.
And my personal rule is: don't do "The Boxer". Because while it's very singable, there are way the fuck too many lie-la-lies at the end.
posted by tavella at 7:35 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
And my personal rule is: don't do "The Boxer". Because while it's very singable, there are way the fuck too many lie-la-lies at the end.
posted by tavella at 7:35 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
when I worked at the organic grocery store on the premises of a raw milk dairy farm we had a pizza on the farm night once a weekend, set up tables on the parking lawn, cooked pizzas in the 400-degree oven pizza trailer, plopped a live band in between the barn doors (so yeah lemme tell you I have heard a lot of renditions of "Wagon Wheel")
we did this every week until the weather got too crappy -- I should mention that this story takes place in Wisconsin but you're gonna figure that out in a minute
this is not the story about how we booked a band called Dead Horses and it turned out they had a couple-few hundred devoted fans willing to go see them on some random-ass pizza farm that was only set up to serve like 20-40 people (oops!)
taquito boyfriend tells that one better than I do anyway because they roped his ass (cattle farm joke) into cashiering the pizzas while I got to hide in the grocery store selling ice cream sandwiches to people while they complained about how they hadn't gotten their pizza yet
this also isn't the story about how my coworker D fucked up & accidentally made green dragon bloody maries for herself & my coworker H & they wound up high as balls for the whole damn shift, because I've told that one in the comments on the blue already
no this is the story about how the owner or my coworker H or somebody got a bug up their ass to make the last pizza on the farm night a karaoke night for Halloween
they rented a karaoke machine from some, I don't know, imagine a place in rural Wisconsin that would rent you a karaoke machine, that's where they got it from, and it was supposed to come with a book of like twelve or twenty discs, which sounded pretty good to me because I was thinking of the kind of disc that has like a hundred songs on it
well no these were standard volume CDs like a person might have bought from Sam Goody in the 90s with 10-17 songs each, more than one of them consisted entirely of Christmas songs, some were karaoke standards, most of the others were pop songs from exactly the time that Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life" was getting maximum airplay, which you could tell because "Semi-Charmed Life" was represented on like three different discs, and I think one might have been hymns or gospel music but I might just be making that up
so these were our karaoke options, I should also mention it was balls-ass cold on Halloween and only a couple of our bravest regulars showed up, I think Ralph the energy healer who always brought his own vegan cheese was there
I should also mention that my coworker H had purchased a banana costume for herself and a whoopee cushion costume for her at-the-time fiance E; this six-foot-something man was completely ensconced in a big ol' whoopee cushion that kinda flopped out on the sides because it wasn't actually inflated
you don't need to know about the banana costume but the whoopee cushion is going to be important for your mental image when I tell you that E got up, told a medium-length story about having been in a karaoke bar in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan when some guy got up and sang Frank Sinatra's "My Way" in a Yooper accent, then proceeded to do a spot-on impression of exactly that
I guess you had to be there really but trust me that it was glorious
posted by taquito sunrise at 7:38 PM on July 22, 2023 [19 favorites]
we did this every week until the weather got too crappy -- I should mention that this story takes place in Wisconsin but you're gonna figure that out in a minute
this is not the story about how we booked a band called Dead Horses and it turned out they had a couple-few hundred devoted fans willing to go see them on some random-ass pizza farm that was only set up to serve like 20-40 people (oops!)
taquito boyfriend tells that one better than I do anyway because they roped his ass (cattle farm joke) into cashiering the pizzas while I got to hide in the grocery store selling ice cream sandwiches to people while they complained about how they hadn't gotten their pizza yet
this also isn't the story about how my coworker D fucked up & accidentally made green dragon bloody maries for herself & my coworker H & they wound up high as balls for the whole damn shift, because I've told that one in the comments on the blue already
no this is the story about how the owner or my coworker H or somebody got a bug up their ass to make the last pizza on the farm night a karaoke night for Halloween
they rented a karaoke machine from some, I don't know, imagine a place in rural Wisconsin that would rent you a karaoke machine, that's where they got it from, and it was supposed to come with a book of like twelve or twenty discs, which sounded pretty good to me because I was thinking of the kind of disc that has like a hundred songs on it
well no these were standard volume CDs like a person might have bought from Sam Goody in the 90s with 10-17 songs each, more than one of them consisted entirely of Christmas songs, some were karaoke standards, most of the others were pop songs from exactly the time that Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life" was getting maximum airplay, which you could tell because "Semi-Charmed Life" was represented on like three different discs, and I think one might have been hymns or gospel music but I might just be making that up
so these were our karaoke options, I should also mention it was balls-ass cold on Halloween and only a couple of our bravest regulars showed up, I think Ralph the energy healer who always brought his own vegan cheese was there
I should also mention that my coworker H had purchased a banana costume for herself and a whoopee cushion costume for her at-the-time fiance E; this six-foot-something man was completely ensconced in a big ol' whoopee cushion that kinda flopped out on the sides because it wasn't actually inflated
you don't need to know about the banana costume but the whoopee cushion is going to be important for your mental image when I tell you that E got up, told a medium-length story about having been in a karaoke bar in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan when some guy got up and sang Frank Sinatra's "My Way" in a Yooper accent, then proceeded to do a spot-on impression of exactly that
I guess you had to be there really but trust me that it was glorious
posted by taquito sunrise at 7:38 PM on July 22, 2023 [19 favorites]
I've enjoyed great karaoke success with Jenny (867-5309) by Tommy Tutone, almost everyone at the bar will sing along :D
posted by boomdelala at 7:39 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by boomdelala at 7:39 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Hawaii has had karaoke boxes since at least the 90s. The first places I went to had laser disc libraries and you handwrote the number of the songs you wanted and gave it to the staff.
When I first came to Japan, you picked your songs out of these giant tomes and now you can choose songs via your phone.
Anyway, other options (in Japan anyway) to singing in public or with other people:
There is a Joysound Karaoke "game" for the Nintendo Switch. The initial app and some songs are free and you can pay for either a days worth, a weeks worth or a months worth of time (a unlimited number of songs). You might want to buy a mike cover though. It's different from the Let's Sing games in that it is just a straight-up karaoke app.
Or, if there is one around you, some places have solo karaoke booths. I tend to use the Kaitsu Club 1-2 Karaoke rooms.
posted by LostInUbe at 7:41 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
When I first came to Japan, you picked your songs out of these giant tomes and now you can choose songs via your phone.
Anyway, other options (in Japan anyway) to singing in public or with other people:
There is a Joysound Karaoke "game" for the Nintendo Switch. The initial app and some songs are free and you can pay for either a days worth, a weeks worth or a months worth of time (a unlimited number of songs). You might want to buy a mike cover though. It's different from the Let's Sing games in that it is just a straight-up karaoke app.
Or, if there is one around you, some places have solo karaoke booths. I tend to use the Kaitsu Club 1-2 Karaoke rooms.
posted by LostInUbe at 7:41 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
The only reason he proscribes any song over 5 minutes is because he hasn’t heard me cover Alice’s Restaurant!
posted by TedW at 8:06 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by TedW at 8:06 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
"Don't forget that you're probably drinking and that can affect your skill." .
All the karaoke DJ's have this line: "The more you drink, the better we sound!"
I note that yes, I am going out to Saturday night karaoke once again soonish.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:12 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
All the karaoke DJ's have this line: "The more you drink, the better we sound!"
I note that yes, I am going out to Saturday night karaoke once again soonish.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:12 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh is this where I get to tell my favorite karaoke story?
So in the early aughts my roommate worked at one of those fake '50s diners where the servers sing and dance on the hour. About once a week after work all of these aspiring/thwarted actors would roll into a karaoke bar down the block and exorcise their frustrations by wowing the Gold Coast crowd with some tunes.
One night I joined my roommate and her co-workers at the bar, but when we arrived, the joint was absolutely packed with Asian people, including, weirdly, a couple of kids (I promise that these details are germane to the punchline--stick with me here). And even weirder, every single one of them had an absolutely insane, professional quality voice. Even the kids.
Our regular crew was totally perplexed until my roommate went over to chat with one of the singers and it turned out that they were all actors from a touring company of Miss Saigon who had just wrapped a performance a couple of blocks over and wanted to blow off some steam. Let me tell you, I have never heard better karaoke, before or since!
posted by merriment at 8:24 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
So in the early aughts my roommate worked at one of those fake '50s diners where the servers sing and dance on the hour. About once a week after work all of these aspiring/thwarted actors would roll into a karaoke bar down the block and exorcise their frustrations by wowing the Gold Coast crowd with some tunes.
One night I joined my roommate and her co-workers at the bar, but when we arrived, the joint was absolutely packed with Asian people, including, weirdly, a couple of kids (I promise that these details are germane to the punchline--stick with me here). And even weirder, every single one of them had an absolutely insane, professional quality voice. Even the kids.
Our regular crew was totally perplexed until my roommate went over to chat with one of the singers and it turned out that they were all actors from a touring company of Miss Saigon who had just wrapped a performance a couple of blocks over and wanted to blow off some steam. Let me tell you, I have never heard better karaoke, before or since!
posted by merriment at 8:24 PM on July 22, 2023 [12 favorites]
All the fragility mentioned in this article come from having karaoke as the center of attention, when I think we'd all be better served if it were just a thing going on in the background.
There’s a bar in the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego, the name escapes me at the moment, where mostly due to logistics (this is a dive bar type of place, pretty small, limited seating) there is no stage area, so when they do their karaoke nights, it is pretty much just “hand the microphone to whoever is up” and they sing from wherever they happen to be sitting or standing in the bar. While I am way too self-conscious about my voice to ever participate in karaoke, this place always seemed to me to be the one place I’d consider giving it a shot since it is fairly low-stakes in that half the time you can’t even really tell who is singing since they’re blended in with the crowd.
posted by The Gooch at 8:31 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
There’s a bar in the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego, the name escapes me at the moment, where mostly due to logistics (this is a dive bar type of place, pretty small, limited seating) there is no stage area, so when they do their karaoke nights, it is pretty much just “hand the microphone to whoever is up” and they sing from wherever they happen to be sitting or standing in the bar. While I am way too self-conscious about my voice to ever participate in karaoke, this place always seemed to me to be the one place I’d consider giving it a shot since it is fairly low-stakes in that half the time you can’t even really tell who is singing since they’re blended in with the crowd.
posted by The Gooch at 8:31 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
> A suggestion, for people aghast at the idea of singing solo in front of a crowd of strangers: try the Suzuki method and reverse that dynamic. AKA Pub Choir .
Oh my goodness, I desperately want to do that.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:58 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh my goodness, I desperately want to do that.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:58 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Also, I should be honest and admit that my grumpiness regarding karaoke comes in part from being caught by a VP at Synopsys, at 6:15am, arranging the break room for our weekly meeting, singing Cocaine Blues.
...I genuinely didn't think there'd be anyone else in the building at the time. Worse, it was the same fucker who'd put me On Report for not arriving by the start of the work day, and then I freaked out and told him his query was shit (because I was arriving at 6:15am, so obviously I hadn't badged in at 8am because duh), whereupon he had to apologize to me in front of the entire satellite office because that was the sort of guy Aart was at that point in his career.
So that was great. And also terrible. Also, Aart, maybe not the worst CEO ever. Fucked up the wiring harness simulator, but I'm not convinced that was entirely his doing. The wiring guys were ... kinda... opinionated.
Yay, Cocaine Blues!
posted by aramaic at 9:09 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
...I genuinely didn't think there'd be anyone else in the building at the time. Worse, it was the same fucker who'd put me On Report for not arriving by the start of the work day, and then I freaked out and told him his query was shit (because I was arriving at 6:15am, so obviously I hadn't badged in at 8am because duh), whereupon he had to apologize to me in front of the entire satellite office because that was the sort of guy Aart was at that point in his career.
So that was great. And also terrible. Also, Aart, maybe not the worst CEO ever. Fucked up the wiring harness simulator, but I'm not convinced that was entirely his doing. The wiring guys were ... kinda... opinionated.
Yay, Cocaine Blues!
posted by aramaic at 9:09 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Everything I know about Karaoke I learned from watching a show by the same people who created Hello Kitty.
posted by signal at 9:13 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by signal at 9:13 PM on July 22, 2023 [2 favorites]
Fairytale of New York is only acceptable at Christmas. Then it's amazing.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 9:19 PM on July 22, 2023
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 9:19 PM on July 22, 2023
There is not a good Bob Dylan karaoke song. Oddly, there are very few good Beatles karaoke songs. Most of the Rolling Stones catalog is okay-ish at best. Overall, very little of the great rock ‘n’ roll of the 1960s and early 70s makes for good karaoke — it’s an upside-down world in which Wham! beats The Band.
Interestingly, the band at the center of the Venn diagram is The Cure.
posted by argybarg at 9:23 PM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
Interestingly, the band at the center of the Venn diagram is The Cure.
posted by argybarg at 9:23 PM on July 22, 2023 [3 favorites]
Everything I know about Karaoke I learned from watching a show by the same people who created Hello Kitty.
Retsuko is an inspiration to us all.
posted by Artw at 9:23 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Retsuko is an inspiration to us all.
posted by Artw at 9:23 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh, and one more rule that should be in the article: Never ask to join someone else’s song, and certainly never join someone else on stage uninvited. No matter how drunk you are.
posted by argybarg at 9:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by argybarg at 9:29 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]
I am Aggretsuko.
But I am cool with people joining me.
I am posting from the karaoke bar as the Tony Bennett tribute is starting.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:52 PM on July 22, 2023 [10 favorites]
But I am cool with people joining me.
I am posting from the karaoke bar as the Tony Bennett tribute is starting.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:52 PM on July 22, 2023 [10 favorites]
The thought of 16 minute Purple Rain karaoke made me LOL. It would be worth it if only to be able to replicate the way Prince almost started singing too early during the 1st Avenue performance.
posted by tigrrrlily at 10:04 PM on July 22, 2023
posted by tigrrrlily at 10:04 PM on July 22, 2023
I just had people join me and it was DELIGHTFUL!
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:11 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:11 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
I am posting from the karaoke bar as the Tony Bennett tribute is starting.
/pours one out for a real one.
posted by Artw at 10:20 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
/pours one out for a real one.
posted by Artw at 10:20 PM on July 22, 2023 [6 favorites]
okay so one thing that is a lot of fun to do is to try singing a song in the style of a different famous singer, like doing all the different singers in We Are The World but more ambitious
if you’re sufficiently an agent of chaos you can also try doing a real-life mashup like cueing up Imagine and then singing All Star to it
for would-be private karaoke singers, it’s worth noting that on recent revisions of the Apple TV hardware, they added a pseudo-karaoke mode to Apple Music for basically any song with live lyrics, and it’s great
posted by DoctorFedora at 1:20 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
if you’re sufficiently an agent of chaos you can also try doing a real-life mashup like cueing up Imagine and then singing All Star to it
for would-be private karaoke singers, it’s worth noting that on recent revisions of the Apple TV hardware, they added a pseudo-karaoke mode to Apple Music for basically any song with live lyrics, and it’s great
posted by DoctorFedora at 1:20 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
Someone mentioned Banff above… the site of one of my top five karaoke nights of all time. I was with queer / progressive artists but the room overall was pretty conservative. I did a very respectable job with Roy Orbison’s “Only the Lonely” to get the room feeling safe… and then a half hour later turned the screw with an extremely provocative performance of “Sugar Daddy” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Good times!
posted by sixswitch at 3:17 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by sixswitch at 3:17 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
I would like to add the rule “Choose a song you know reasonably well”. You don’t have to know every flourish and nuance, but I just went to karaoke this week and saw two women sing a Taylor Swift song where they only knew the chorus and stood there in silence for the verses. I’ve also seen this more than once for The Final Countdown.
Also for those recommending karaoke rooms over the more public forum: they serve a completely different purpose honestly. Also fun! But the thrill and anxiety and oftentimes embarrassment and shared experience with a bunch of strangers can be really special
posted by thebots at 4:33 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
Also for those recommending karaoke rooms over the more public forum: they serve a completely different purpose honestly. Also fun! But the thrill and anxiety and oftentimes embarrassment and shared experience with a bunch of strangers can be really special
posted by thebots at 4:33 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
....it turned out that they were all actors from a touring company of Miss Saigon who had just wrapped a performance a couple of blocks over and wanted to blow off some steam.
You've reminded me of my first-ever karaoke outing, which we didn't think would be a karaoke outing (it's also the same night my friend tried "Give It Away Now").
So this was in 2002, and I was stage-managing still; I was midway through a run of Fool For Love, and we were coming back from a month-long break in our run. We'd just had a technical rehearsal before we re-launched - these are really boring, annoying rehearsals which are only about the light and sound and costume cues. I got home and I was cranky, so I called my friend C - another theater techie - and wanted to bitch. "I've just had a horrible rehearsal," I wailed.
"Oh, so have we," he said. He was starting to work on a show himself - lighting designer for something in the East Village. "In fact, we're all getting ready to go out to a bar near your place. Come join us?"
We ended up at this random dive bar in the ass end of Chinatown, which for some reason had decided to have a karaoke DJ on Wednesday nights. Usually, the clientele at this bar was NOT the kind of bar that would go for karaoke; there were like two longshoremen, a couple Chinese dudes, and then us - all of whom were low-level annoyed from our days. So the poor DJ kept trying to pick songs and sing them himself to drum up interest; and he wasn't a very good singer. So it was more annoying than anything else.
In fact - that's why we all finally got up and started singing, because we wanted to shut HIM up. We started by all ten of us getting up en masse to do a choir version of "If I Had A Million Dollars" (the guys took Ed's part, the women took Stephen Page) and....that just opened the floodgates, and we monopolized the karaoke for a good two hours. I shyly got up at one point - I hadn't sung solo in front of people in years, and was intimidated, so I first said that "up to now the only person who's heard me sing this is my cat, so please be kind...." and I went with "Son Of A Preacher Man", and for the entire first half of the song I was singing with eyes shut out of fear. But then when I finally opened them and looked over at my table, they were all sitting there with "holy shit this is good" smiles and were all clapping, and I was hooked.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:43 AM on July 23, 2023 [11 favorites]
You've reminded me of my first-ever karaoke outing, which we didn't think would be a karaoke outing (it's also the same night my friend tried "Give It Away Now").
So this was in 2002, and I was stage-managing still; I was midway through a run of Fool For Love, and we were coming back from a month-long break in our run. We'd just had a technical rehearsal before we re-launched - these are really boring, annoying rehearsals which are only about the light and sound and costume cues. I got home and I was cranky, so I called my friend C - another theater techie - and wanted to bitch. "I've just had a horrible rehearsal," I wailed.
"Oh, so have we," he said. He was starting to work on a show himself - lighting designer for something in the East Village. "In fact, we're all getting ready to go out to a bar near your place. Come join us?"
We ended up at this random dive bar in the ass end of Chinatown, which for some reason had decided to have a karaoke DJ on Wednesday nights. Usually, the clientele at this bar was NOT the kind of bar that would go for karaoke; there were like two longshoremen, a couple Chinese dudes, and then us - all of whom were low-level annoyed from our days. So the poor DJ kept trying to pick songs and sing them himself to drum up interest; and he wasn't a very good singer. So it was more annoying than anything else.
In fact - that's why we all finally got up and started singing, because we wanted to shut HIM up. We started by all ten of us getting up en masse to do a choir version of "If I Had A Million Dollars" (the guys took Ed's part, the women took Stephen Page) and....that just opened the floodgates, and we monopolized the karaoke for a good two hours. I shyly got up at one point - I hadn't sung solo in front of people in years, and was intimidated, so I first said that "up to now the only person who's heard me sing this is my cat, so please be kind...." and I went with "Son Of A Preacher Man", and for the entire first half of the song I was singing with eyes shut out of fear. But then when I finally opened them and looked over at my table, they were all sitting there with "holy shit this is good" smiles and were all clapping, and I was hooked.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:43 AM on July 23, 2023 [11 favorites]
Overall, very little of the great rock ‘n’ roll of the 1960s and early 70s makes for good karaoke — it’s an upside-down world in which Wham! beats The Band.
I’m karaoke-illiterate, but I should think much of the Ramones’ catalog would make for great karaoke fodder. I Wanna Be Sedated, for instance, seems like an easy, surefire, crowd pleaser for anyone to tackle.
Elvis Costello’s first two albums, too, are chock-full of fun, quick, rockers that anyone would sound good doing.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:55 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
I’m karaoke-illiterate, but I should think much of the Ramones’ catalog would make for great karaoke fodder. I Wanna Be Sedated, for instance, seems like an easy, surefire, crowd pleaser for anyone to tackle.
Elvis Costello’s first two albums, too, are chock-full of fun, quick, rockers that anyone would sound good doing.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:55 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
In a bar karaoke scenario where there are some serious regulars, the first singer with more spirit than skill is also key to getting more people to put in songs, relax and have fun.
posted by snofoam at 4:59 AM on July 23, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by snofoam at 4:59 AM on July 23, 2023 [5 favorites]
it’s an upside-down world in which Wham! beats The Band.
Counter-argument: The Weight.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:23 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
Counter-argument: The Weight.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:23 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
God I’m suddenly remembering the time I went to a private karaoke place with friends, and picked Carry On Wayward Son, since I guess I’d been reminded of it by Anchorman or something. I sang 23 words, poorly (can’t do harmonies on my own), followed by an instrumental break that is like two full minutes, and then suddenly realized: wait a minute, I don’t actually know, like, how the verses of this song go
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:23 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:23 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
I did that with "I Feel The Earth Move."
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:05 AM on July 23, 2023
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:05 AM on July 23, 2023
why is it western karaoke's only setting is to have it on an open stage????
It's not? There are plenty of private room karaoke options here, but there are also karaoke bars where you are on stage (or in a corner somewhere with a mic stand, it's not always a stage stage (and there's not always a mic stand because people are stupid and careless with other people's equipment).) My first karaoke experience was a Korean dive bar in Chicago that didn't even have a stage or a host, they just had an outdated karaoke machine with Korean and English songs and a TV and a remote control at one end of the bar and you just put your own songs in with the remote and sat at the bar to sing. It was the perfect low-stakes way to get used to the idea of singing into a microphone in public.
I think one of the important rules is No Booing. Karaoke is about having fun, putting on a persona, feeling what it feels like to pick a good song and inspire a crowd of strangers to sing along with you - not about having a good voice. And if someone is struggling up there, you don't boo them, you help them by singing along. (Important caveat - help them does not mean going up and taking the mic from them, just be encouraging and sing along from where you're standing/sitting.)
Karaoke competitions are anathema to my entire karaoke philosophy. The entire idea of it makes me mad, honestly.
posted by misskaz at 7:08 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
It's not? There are plenty of private room karaoke options here, but there are also karaoke bars where you are on stage (or in a corner somewhere with a mic stand, it's not always a stage stage (and there's not always a mic stand because people are stupid and careless with other people's equipment).) My first karaoke experience was a Korean dive bar in Chicago that didn't even have a stage or a host, they just had an outdated karaoke machine with Korean and English songs and a TV and a remote control at one end of the bar and you just put your own songs in with the remote and sat at the bar to sing. It was the perfect low-stakes way to get used to the idea of singing into a microphone in public.
I think one of the important rules is No Booing. Karaoke is about having fun, putting on a persona, feeling what it feels like to pick a good song and inspire a crowd of strangers to sing along with you - not about having a good voice. And if someone is struggling up there, you don't boo them, you help them by singing along. (Important caveat - help them does not mean going up and taking the mic from them, just be encouraging and sing along from where you're standing/sitting.)
Karaoke competitions are anathema to my entire karaoke philosophy. The entire idea of it makes me mad, honestly.
posted by misskaz at 7:08 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
argybarg: "it’s an upside-down world in which Wham! beats The Band."
Counterpoint: In our own world, Wham! beats The Band.
posted by signal at 7:22 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
Counterpoint: In our own world, Wham! beats The Band.
posted by signal at 7:22 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
These are mostly good rules, but "no show tunes" should be a soft recommendation, not a hard rule. Show tunes are literally written for this kind of performance! Just maybe think twice about picking the #1 single from the most recent Disney soundtrack. Go a little off the beaten path for a song you really like -- and that'll come through in your singing.
This applies to any artist with one song that's an order of magnitude more popular than the rest, too. I've been thanked by a KJ for picking a Queen song that isn't Bohemian Rhapsody. If you have the high notes, maybe try Faithfully instead of Don't Stop Believing.
posted by egregious theorem at 7:49 AM on July 23, 2023
This applies to any artist with one song that's an order of magnitude more popular than the rest, too. I've been thanked by a KJ for picking a Queen song that isn't Bohemian Rhapsody. If you have the high notes, maybe try Faithfully instead of Don't Stop Believing.
posted by egregious theorem at 7:49 AM on July 23, 2023
weird that it says the pandemic is over in the first sentence even though people are still getting killed and disabled by it and i still consider a karaoke bar to be a negligent risk to myself and others
posted by Gymnopedist at 7:57 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Gymnopedist at 7:57 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
Well hey, Gymnopedist, just do like I do and pretend it's all articles in a glossy from the 1990s from a society you'll never experience yourself. It stops me from hating everyone when I do have to venture out into the world, not to have fun you understand, but for doctor's appointments and stuff.
posted by tigrrrlily at 8:03 AM on July 23, 2023 [6 favorites]
posted by tigrrrlily at 8:03 AM on July 23, 2023 [6 favorites]
I do not think I could make a single sing by The Band. Is there a The Band Rap?
posted by Artw at 8:12 AM on July 23, 2023
posted by Artw at 8:12 AM on July 23, 2023
I’m frankly surprised that nobody has mentioned doing live piano karaoke with an accompanist. It’s all I do in NYC nowadays, and while I do miss booth (read: Japanese/Asian) style karaoke sometimes, it never quite translated well from Japan to overseas. That style of karaoke will always be way more fun in Japan for me. They never did bring the best parts about it over (open 24hrs, great snacks/drinks, clean, air conditioned, easy to look up and submit song requests, etc.).
Anyway, live piano karaoke is fun because the performances will never be the same, aren’t at all like the record, and you get heaps of variety wrt “singing quality.” I’ve made many great friends through this unintentionally, and it’s nice to have a ritual.
posted by ener at 8:18 AM on July 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
Anyway, live piano karaoke is fun because the performances will never be the same, aren’t at all like the record, and you get heaps of variety wrt “singing quality.” I’ve made many great friends through this unintentionally, and it’s nice to have a ritual.
posted by ener at 8:18 AM on July 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
open 24hrs, great snacks/drinks, clean, air conditioned, easy to look up and submit song requests, etc
Not open 24hrs but Rick Box is Seattle certainly tried to provide some of that.
posted by Artw at 8:22 AM on July 23, 2023
Not open 24hrs but Rick Box is Seattle certainly tried to provide some of that.
posted by Artw at 8:22 AM on July 23, 2023
My BFFs had a live karaoke band at their wedding reception and that remains, and will probably forever remain, the best wedding reception I have ever had the pleasure of attending. The bride and groom opened the reception with Love Shack. Our circle of friends is chock full of legit musicians, several of whom were/are in local bands, and artists and actors.
So yeah, it was incredible.
posted by cooker girl at 8:27 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
So yeah, it was incredible.
posted by cooker girl at 8:27 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
It's not? There are plenty of private room karaoke options here, but there are also karaoke bars where you are on stage (or in a corner somewhere with a mic stand, it's not always a stage stage (and there's not always a mic stand because people are stupid and careless with other people's equipment).)
Good that it's not the only setting available then.
My first karaoke experience was a Korean dive bar in Chicago that didn't even have a stage or a host, they just had an outdated karaoke machine with Korean and English songs and a TV and a remote control at one end of the bar and you just put your own songs in with the remote and sat at the bar to sing. It was the perfect low-stakes way to get used to the idea of singing into a microphone in public.
Everything in this description is so foreign to me (none of this reads to me as low-stakes) and quite insightful as well on how a public persona seems to be an actual social skill (T_T why would you need to be used to singing in public).
Anyway:
while I do miss booth (read: Japanese/Asian) style karaoke sometimes, it never quite translated well from Japan to overseas. That style of karaoke will always be way more fun in Japan for me. They never did bring the best parts about it over (open 24hrs, great snacks/drinks, clean, air conditioned, easy to look up and submit song requests, etc.).
... I'm so sorry. No wonder booths feel like the suckier option.
I'm speaking as someone who basically spent a significant part of Saturday (4 almost 5 hours) with my friends singing with snack breaks which in this karaoke joint (which we've never been before but the setting looks amazing), which included free flow ice-cream.
posted by cendawanita at 8:35 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
Good that it's not the only setting available then.
My first karaoke experience was a Korean dive bar in Chicago that didn't even have a stage or a host, they just had an outdated karaoke machine with Korean and English songs and a TV and a remote control at one end of the bar and you just put your own songs in with the remote and sat at the bar to sing. It was the perfect low-stakes way to get used to the idea of singing into a microphone in public.
Everything in this description is so foreign to me (none of this reads to me as low-stakes) and quite insightful as well on how a public persona seems to be an actual social skill (T_T why would you need to be used to singing in public).
Anyway:
while I do miss booth (read: Japanese/Asian) style karaoke sometimes, it never quite translated well from Japan to overseas. That style of karaoke will always be way more fun in Japan for me. They never did bring the best parts about it over (open 24hrs, great snacks/drinks, clean, air conditioned, easy to look up and submit song requests, etc.).
... I'm so sorry. No wonder booths feel like the suckier option.
I'm speaking as someone who basically spent a significant part of Saturday (4 almost 5 hours) with my friends singing with snack breaks which in this karaoke joint (which we've never been before but the setting looks amazing), which included free flow ice-cream.
posted by cendawanita at 8:35 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
(curses! How many unnecessary 'which's can I fit in that comment...)
posted by cendawanita at 8:45 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by cendawanita at 8:45 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
The problem with Ramones for Karaoke is that it's mostly too fast for drunks. I once did "The KKK Took My Baby Away" (I was on gentlyepigram's team in the karaoke league). It worked well, but I wouldn't want to do Sheena or Rock 'n' Roll High School, much less Psychotherapy.
My go-to is "I Fought the Law", and I found that the Clash worked better than the Ramones. Punk rock at least has the advantage of being short, generally. For metal(-ish) ideas, "War Pigs" is a great song, but it fails the "too damn long" test.
I saw a pretty good version of "No Sleep Til Brooklyn", which was interesting to me, because I normally don't like really nasal vocals, but I liked the rendition because the singer couldn't pull off the sound.
posted by Mad_Carew at 9:09 AM on July 23, 2023
My go-to is "I Fought the Law", and I found that the Clash worked better than the Ramones. Punk rock at least has the advantage of being short, generally. For metal(-ish) ideas, "War Pigs" is a great song, but it fails the "too damn long" test.
I saw a pretty good version of "No Sleep Til Brooklyn", which was interesting to me, because I normally don't like really nasal vocals, but I liked the rendition because the singer couldn't pull off the sound.
posted by Mad_Carew at 9:09 AM on July 23, 2023
For metal(-ish) ideas, "War Pigs" is a great song, but it fails the "too damn long" test.
Lotta good pauses though. You can do your bit, revel in it, wait till the next bit, repeat…
Gonna rate it as an excellent song to sing on those grounds.
(To ling for the audience? It’s your show, they don’t get an opinion on that)
posted by Artw at 9:15 AM on July 23, 2023
Lotta good pauses though. You can do your bit, revel in it, wait till the next bit, repeat…
Gonna rate it as an excellent song to sing on those grounds.
(To ling for the audience? It’s your show, they don’t get an opinion on that)
posted by Artw at 9:15 AM on July 23, 2023
Thanks for the opportunity to clarify. Yeah, if it's what you want to sing, go for it.
I sang it in a private room (at my local Alamo Drafthouse, if you're looking for karaoke options), and it was too long for me. I was into it for the first 5 minutes and then wished I was out of it for the rest of the song. That's a personal recommendation and not a rule (but I feel that way about all the "wrongs" in the original link).
posted by Mad_Carew at 9:27 AM on July 23, 2023
I sang it in a private room (at my local Alamo Drafthouse, if you're looking for karaoke options), and it was too long for me. I was into it for the first 5 minutes and then wished I was out of it for the rest of the song. That's a personal recommendation and not a rule (but I feel that way about all the "wrongs" in the original link).
posted by Mad_Carew at 9:27 AM on July 23, 2023
Kind of flew by when I was doing it… though that IS a chunk of time, wondering if whatever dodgy YouTube version of it I was singing to was truncated.
(Also: very drunk)
posted by Artw at 9:50 AM on July 23, 2023
(Also: very drunk)
posted by Artw at 9:50 AM on July 23, 2023
I come to the stage with the idea that kareoke is a weapon. I did not really get it until this dawned on me. Singing "The candyman" just so makes it disturbing. Green Jellos "Three little Pigs" is my absolute favorite, I can do both the falsetto and the wolfs heavy metal growl. The best part is most people don't know the song so they are confused.
I will do "Secret Agent Man" but sing it like Devo covered it.
I got into kareoke after my divorce, and a friends bar had costume Kareoke. A rack of random costumes was provided and it was required that you wear one.
For awhile there was a old powered exercise bike on stage and you had to ride it while singing.
I was fond of doing Jimmy Durante covers but it trashes my voice.
posted by boilermonster at 9:55 AM on July 23, 2023
I will do "Secret Agent Man" but sing it like Devo covered it.
I got into kareoke after my divorce, and a friends bar had costume Kareoke. A rack of random costumes was provided and it was required that you wear one.
For awhile there was a old powered exercise bike on stage and you had to ride it while singing.
I was fond of doing Jimmy Durante covers but it trashes my voice.
posted by boilermonster at 9:55 AM on July 23, 2023
Basically my personal karaoke drunkness scale:
Fight For Your Right To Party and/or anything by the Sex Pistols - not drunk at all, basically a mood setter, requires enthusiasm more than “tune”
In The Year 2525 - I have gotten a little drunk and have decided the selection needs to be a little more weird
Transmission - I am in the zone and there may even be an appropriation of “singing” in some parts, though this is mainly about doing a low monotone and a dramatic microphone stance
Walk This Way - I am drunk enough I have forgotten why this is a bad idea
War Pigs/ any other random thing that leaps into my head - drunk enough to go off book. Random zone. Anything could happen in the next half hour.
posted by Artw at 9:59 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
Fight For Your Right To Party and/or anything by the Sex Pistols - not drunk at all, basically a mood setter, requires enthusiasm more than “tune”
In The Year 2525 - I have gotten a little drunk and have decided the selection needs to be a little more weird
Transmission - I am in the zone and there may even be an appropriation of “singing” in some parts, though this is mainly about doing a low monotone and a dramatic microphone stance
Walk This Way - I am drunk enough I have forgotten why this is a bad idea
War Pigs/ any other random thing that leaps into my head - drunk enough to go off book. Random zone. Anything could happen in the next half hour.
posted by Artw at 9:59 AM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
“ Well hey, Gymnopedist, just do like I do and pretend it's all articles in a glossy from the 1990s from a society you'll never experience yourself. It stops me from hating everyone when I do have to venture out into the world, not to have fun you understand, but for doctor's appointments and stuff.”
hehe, yeah, I guess that’s basically what I did with this one—I’ve largely moved past the hate…I mostly just feel concern for everybody, it’s such a rough illness, rougher to have serially. if I have hate for anyone it’s the government & the billionaires that control it for propagandizing people into feeling safe enough to eschew basic risk mitigation precautions amid this thing :(
posted by Gymnopedist at 10:22 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
hehe, yeah, I guess that’s basically what I did with this one—I’ve largely moved past the hate…I mostly just feel concern for everybody, it’s such a rough illness, rougher to have serially. if I have hate for anyone it’s the government & the billionaires that control it for propagandizing people into feeling safe enough to eschew basic risk mitigation precautions amid this thing :(
posted by Gymnopedist at 10:22 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best karaoke performance I ever saw in my life was in like 2003/2004, right when the War On Terror was in full swing and Guantanamo Bay was in the news. A ratty looking skinny punk dude sang Guantanamera. He started out soft and sweet and over the course of the song got angrier and angrier. By the end of it every single person in the bar was ready to storm the barricades.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 10:56 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 10:56 AM on July 23, 2023 [1 favorite]
The most important thing in karaoke is to not do it in the first place.
…it’s sort of like the first rule of nuclear weapons: don’t.
The only winning move is not to play.
posted by gtrwolf at 11:53 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
…it’s sort of like the first rule of nuclear weapons: don’t.
The only winning move is not to play.
posted by gtrwolf at 11:53 AM on July 23, 2023 [4 favorites]
Many years ago I somehow managed to get talked into acting in a play that wound up turning into more of a cautionary tale. (TL; DR: Don't get involved in a show where the same person is writing, producing, and directing unless they're David Mamet. Maybe.) The script was like the playwright couldn't decide between Animal House and Angels in America and just hammered nails into pieces of both and then ran 50,000 volts into it until it lurched into some kind of Frankensteinian life on stage.
The goddamned thing was three hours long.I used to bring my complete works of Shakespeare to read backstage so I could transport myself into a better play.
I bring it up in this thread because the horrible little theater it was in was next to a horrible little restaurant/bar that one night a week did horrible little karaoke. The walls were very thin.
You can see where this is going.
On opening night, during the one actual touching moment of any kind of emotional honesty in the entire dramaturgical trainwreck (a scene where one character is nervously coming out to another one as gay)...all of a sudden through the wall came a blaring chorus of what sounded like God's Own Dudebro Choir all bellowing "SWEEEEET HOOOOOOME ALABAMAAAAAA!!!".
These days I mostly stick to outdoor theater, where the worst I have to contend with is skateboarders and traffic. :P
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:32 PM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
The goddamned thing was three hours long.I used to bring my complete works of Shakespeare to read backstage so I could transport myself into a better play.
I bring it up in this thread because the horrible little theater it was in was next to a horrible little restaurant/bar that one night a week did horrible little karaoke. The walls were very thin.
You can see where this is going.
On opening night, during the one actual touching moment of any kind of emotional honesty in the entire dramaturgical trainwreck (a scene where one character is nervously coming out to another one as gay)...all of a sudden through the wall came a blaring chorus of what sounded like God's Own Dudebro Choir all bellowing "SWEEEEET HOOOOOOME ALABAMAAAAAA!!!".
These days I mostly stick to outdoor theater, where the worst I have to contend with is skateboarders and traffic. :P
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:32 PM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
I learned the lyrics to "Crying" in Spanish so I could sing it like Rebekah del Rio did in Mulholland Dr. It gives the whole thing a nice bit of telenovela hysteria, and it had the side benefit of pissing off an older lady (this was a benefit at a country club) who grumpily told me she could get me those lyrics in English if I needed them. Ticking her off felt great.
posted by argybarg at 1:48 PM on July 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by argybarg at 1:48 PM on July 23, 2023 [3 favorites]
weird that it says the pandemic is over in the first sentence even though people are still getting killed and disabled by it and i still consider a karaoke bar to be a negligent risk to myself and others
They have literally declared it over and any of us who are still concerned about covid have lost the war so thoroughly, hardly, and irrevocably that there is no point in even protesting everyone else "going back to normal" any more.
Hell, I stopped wearing a mask to karaoke the last few times. I don't even approve of what I'm doing, but jeebus christ, it's been three years, I'm super tired of trying so hard, and I and everyone else who kept trying for so long have lost the war. I still mask up sometimes, but trying to not avoid consuming food/drink inside (especially when the weather means you can't be outside for that) and constantly putting it on and taking it off is probably pointless, and hell if I know any more, my brain is broken.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:08 PM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
They have literally declared it over and any of us who are still concerned about covid have lost the war so thoroughly, hardly, and irrevocably that there is no point in even protesting everyone else "going back to normal" any more.
Hell, I stopped wearing a mask to karaoke the last few times. I don't even approve of what I'm doing, but jeebus christ, it's been three years, I'm super tired of trying so hard, and I and everyone else who kept trying for so long have lost the war. I still mask up sometimes, but trying to not avoid consuming food/drink inside (especially when the weather means you can't be outside for that) and constantly putting it on and taking it off is probably pointless, and hell if I know any more, my brain is broken.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:08 PM on July 23, 2023 [2 favorites]
Glad someone else mentioned live piano karaoke in NYC - when I was working there a few years ago (consultant travel), I spent pretty much every night at Sid Gold’s Request Room - back then there was only a Manhattan location, but I’m glad they’ve survived Covid and are expanding.
posted by clicking the 'Post Comment' button at 6:20 PM on July 23, 2023
posted by clicking the 'Post Comment' button at 6:20 PM on July 23, 2023
@clicking the 'Post Comment' button:
one of my friends was a pianist there around the time, so I hope you had pleasant experiences!
posted by ener at 12:00 AM on July 24, 2023
one of my friends was a pianist there around the time, so I hope you had pleasant experiences!
posted by ener at 12:00 AM on July 24, 2023
also changing his position from right- to left-facing or vice versa each time he changed parts, as though he were singing to his invisible duet partner each time.
You witnessed the 180 degree rule in the wild. What a thing to behold.
posted by braksandwich at 8:28 AM on July 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
You witnessed the 180 degree rule in the wild. What a thing to behold.
posted by braksandwich at 8:28 AM on July 24, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best I ever saw: A kid did that "Knick knack paddy wack give the dog a bone" song, but as a rap, and it was GREAT.
Worst, when I get the nerve to sing the one song I think I can sing and a guy before me gets up knocks it out of the park.
posted by cccorlew at 11:23 AM on July 24, 2023
Worst, when I get the nerve to sing the one song I think I can sing and a guy before me gets up knocks it out of the park.
posted by cccorlew at 11:23 AM on July 24, 2023
My Purple Rain is amazing.
(Also the karaoke version of the song is reasonable 4:12)
posted by ManInSuit at 5:51 PM on July 24, 2023
(Also the karaoke version of the song is reasonable 4:12)
posted by ManInSuit at 5:51 PM on July 24, 2023
Is "Tom's Diner" fair game?So, I did this in private room karaoke. The karaoke place didn't actually have "Tom's Diner" so I picked a song titled "Acapella" [sic], turned the volume all the way down and sang "Tom's Diner" instead. Unfortunately I did not anticipate that (a) other people would want to join in and (b) they were (only?) (more?) familiar with the remix so they wanted to add the wordless chorus (the outro in the original) after every verse. There are worse problems to have than an overenthusiastic audience, I guess, but it certainly threw off my groove.
As long as you do the original, which is strictly a cappella.
That would actually be a pretty punk rock choice, actually.
posted by valrus at 4:39 PM on July 25, 2023
« Older GPT4: Howdy, Stranger. Do you know me? | "Cause Caturday night's the night I like" Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
In my opinion the way to do karaoke wrong is to treat it like a talent show. It should be a hapless jukebox in the corner of the room, performing to those who want to listen or just background music for those who don't. All the fragility mentioned in this article come from having karaoke as the center of attention, when I think we'd all be better served if it were just a thing going on in the background.
I really love a quality karaoke performance. I have rarely had a good time at a "karaoke night". These are not mutually exclusive experiences.
posted by hippybear at 4:14 PM on July 22, 2023 [1 favorite]