Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age

December 9, 2007 1:06 AM

Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age.
posted by Soup (77 comments total)

Everyone has already done more than me and done it all better than me at every age I've ever been. I already all too aware of this bitter fact, so I have no use for this website.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:18 AM on December 9, 2007 [6 favorites]

I can't tell if I feel like a failure or a success based on mine.

Who was Michael Usher?
posted by taff at 1:19 AM on December 9, 2007

That is, I'M already aware... hell, I can't even talk English good.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:20 AM on December 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

[this is depressing]

At twenty:

-English novelist Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus, which was immediately successful.

-Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice, her second and most famous novel.

I, on the other hand, haven't written anything that's stayed on my hard drive for more than a month, or after the second read-through. Or followed through and finished anything creative, really. But hey, in a little over a month I'll be able to legally buy booze. So, there's that.
posted by kosher_jenny at 1:26 AM on December 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

Hey! My mom made her own website?
posted by sambosambo at 1:27 AM on December 9, 2007 [13 favorites]

When Egon Schiele was my age. he'd been dead for eight years.



But I still think I'm doing better. Being alive WINS.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:31 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Peter Smith's second wife divorced him after he lost his job at the steelyards & turned to alcohol & prescription painkillers.

Raju Venkatakumar continued working the rubbish tip in Calcutta, still hoping to scrape together enough money to start out on a new career as a rickshaw-wallah.

Mbeke Obele celebrated his umpteenth anniversary of having died as an infant from cholera.

The majority of other men lived lives of quiet desperation.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:32 AM on December 9, 2007 [5 favorites]

future editions will state: ubu was beaten to the punch on an internet site by louche moustachio.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:33 AM on December 9, 2007

Tom Lehrer: "It's a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age [pause, two, three] he had been dead for 2 years."
posted by cogneuro at 1:36 AM on December 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

At age 27:

Jimi Hendrix choked to death on his own vomit after ingesting wine and sleeping pills.

Janis Joplin died of an overdose of whiskey and heroin.

*high fives louche mustachio*
posted by cmgonzalez at 1:42 AM on December 9, 2007

At age 27:
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. dropped out from his job at General Electric to become a full-time writer.
Henry David Thoreau went off for two years to live alone in a cabin at Walden Pond.
Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first person in space.
Memphis millionaire Frederic W. Smith, whose father built the Greyhound bus system, founded Federal Express.
Scottish botanist David Douglas discovered the Douglas fir.
Ernest Hemingway published his first novel, The Sun Also Rises.
Boston dentist William Morton pioneered modern anaesthesiology after learning that inhalation of ether will cause a loss of consciousness.
Jimi Hendrix choked to death on his own vomit after ingesting wine and sleeping pills.
Janis Joplin died of an overdose of whiskey and heroin.
Conceptual artist Piero Manzoni crapped in 90 small cans which were then factory sealed and offered for sale at the price of gold.

Honestly... none of this makes me feel bad about myself.

One thing that does make me feel bad about myself is that the Olsen twins, some six years my junior, have a collective worth of $100 million.
posted by Ryvar at 1:42 AM on December 9, 2007

Also at 27: Jessica Schram trolled MySpace for seven straight hours during work.

My life is meaningless.
posted by katillathehun at 1:49 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

"Angie Olson got so drunk on her 26th birthday, her friends were able to dress her up as a clown."

Finally, an accomplishment I can match.
posted by cmonkey at 1:53 AM on December 9, 2007

My life is meaningless.

You can always console yourself that you probably have more tehloki favourites than her.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:54 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

By my age, Dylan had released Bob Dylan, The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, The Times They Are a-Changin', Another Side of Bob Dylan, Bringing It All Back Home, Highway 61 Revisited, and Blonde on Blonde, and Springsteen had released Greetings, The Wild the Innocent, and Born to Run

And Nas was 19 when he recorded Illmatic.

This post sucks.
posted by wemayfreeze at 2:17 AM on December 9, 2007

WOw. Stupid.
posted by sharksandwich at 2:20 AM on December 9, 2007

Give me a break. I'm a security guard in middle management. I have to have something to console me, and if it's paraphrased quotes from my betters about my betters, that will have to do. I know I suck, but I still have opportunities, what with being alive and stuff.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:25 AM on December 9, 2007

Fuck you, too.
posted by zardoz at 2:56 AM on December 9, 2007

Me? Really? It was an honor just to be nominated.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:10 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Just did this for a variety of family members (It's a stormy Sunday morning here, people) and we all agree this is the biggest accomplishment we saw on that site:-
Cora Judd overcame a debilitating, lifelong aversion to math by taking three semesters of math classes at the local community college.
posted by Wilder at 3:28 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

For my age I get the quote: "By the time he was my age, Mozart had been dead three years."

That's pretty funny.
posted by seanyboy at 3:37 AM on December 9, 2007

Hate to break it to you, but by the age you'd posted this, someone had already done so.

It's a double.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:41 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

At my age, Arlette Rafferty Schweitzer became the first woman to give birth to her own grandchildren.

Isn't this the punchline to one of those "You know you're a Redneck when..." jokes?
posted by maryh at 3:47 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

I often walk past The Pitt Building, named after William Pitt the Younger. Every time I walk by I remember that he became Prime Minister at the age of 24, and I'm still a student.
posted by grouse at 3:54 AM on December 9, 2007

I've already done all of this and more, thanks to the many-worlds interpretation of Quantum Mechanics, so no problem. In this particular universe-vector, I'm sitting at home smoking a lot of pot taking up the slack for my other selves, who I think are far too stressed out with their workaholism, book-writing and general over-achievement.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 5:11 AM on December 9, 2007 [3 favorites]

Hate to break it to you, but by the age you'd posted this, someone had already done so.

It's a double.

Oldest double ever?
posted by waitingtoderail at 5:13 AM on December 9, 2007

Someone listed in my age bracket had "committed suicide 12 years before" winning the Pulitzer. How is that an accomplishment if you killed yourself more than a decade before recognition? Isn't that the artistic stereotype--you are only famous after death? Bah.
posted by 45moore45 at 5:20 AM on December 9, 2007

Whenever I want to feel terribly shitty about my lack of accomplishment, I just lie back and think of Ian Curtis checking out at 23.
posted by bunnytricks at 5:21 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Not really, no. And you can find it as the first link when searching for "Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age." That's just plaing lazy.
posted by slimepuppy at 5:21 AM on December 9, 2007

At my age, Marie Curie won her *second* Nobel prize, for the isolation of pure radium. And baseball player Nolan Ryan pitched the *sixth* no-hitter of his career.

Christ, I am waaaay behind, especially on Nobel prizes and no-hitters!
posted by jamstigator at 5:22 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

You could at least provide a coupon for free Prozac with this link.
Geez. Have a fucking happy Sunday, everyone.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:22 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Who are all the no-name fucking losers that show up in this thing anyway?

Paul Belleci saw in concert the same week Reba McIntyre, Rancid, and the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra.

So? So fucking what? Who the fuck is Paul Belleci? Why is it some big fucking deal that he went to three concerts in a week at the age of 34?

Oh:

Please send me your own accomplishment(s) or those of other people, famous or not, along with the corresponding ages, and I will consider adding them.

Hello, and welcome to Everybody Gets A Trophy Day.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 5:32 AM on December 9, 2007

At age 43: Music teacher William Herschel discovered Uranus.

The snark, it just won't come for this one.
posted by localroger at 5:57 AM on December 9, 2007

At age 28:

Radio DJ Brent McCoy killed a mouse, seemingly by staring at it, in his living room.

Oh, how I've failed!
posted by popcassady at 6:26 AM on December 9, 2007

At age 43: Music teacher William Herschel discovered Uranus.

The snark, it just won't come for this one.

"It took me way less time than that!" (How's that?)
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:32 AM on December 9, 2007

And the older thread already had all the good jokes, not to mention the Tom Lehrer quote.
posted by languagehat at 6:43 AM on December 9, 2007

Between Mozart and Rimbaud, I never had the urge to catch up.
posted by ersatz at 7:23 AM on December 9, 2007

That was the low hanging fruit, Horace. VERY low hanging.
posted by localroger at 7:27 AM on December 9, 2007

entered my age (52), first line of the results:

televangelist jimmy swaggart had sex with a prostitute and was removed from the ministry.

i could stand on a streetcorner and preach for an hour, then go find a hooker, but i could never, ever be jimmy swaggart.
posted by bruce at 7:49 AM on December 9, 2007

The opening music in the movie Amadeus is Mozart's 25th Symphony. He wrote it when he was 17.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:05 AM on December 9, 2007

Michael Lusher slept through a gunshot to the head.

Is that to imply that he eventually woke up?
posted by itchylick at 8:11 AM on December 9, 2007

Sure enough.

(I think I remember hearing this story now.)
posted by itchylick at 8:12 AM on December 9, 2007

At age 33: Jesus of Nazareth, a moral teacher and faith healer, was executed and eventually became the most renowned religious figure in history.

Yep. I'm in my Jesus year. I plan on forming my own cult in the new few months, actually. But I'm going to do Jesus one better: I'm not going to let them kill me. You can die for your own damn sins.
posted by Hildegarde at 8:31 AM on December 9, 2007 [3 favorites]

Hank Williams overdosed on drugs and alcohol.

I'm not sure I'd call that an accomplishment.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:36 AM on December 9, 2007

You know, when I was 23, this site would have had me wallowing in regret because I wasn't a famous poet or a rock star yet.

But the interesting thing is that now it doesn't have the same impact. Screw fame — I'm having at least as much fun as half these guys.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:46 AM on December 9, 2007

I'm fairly content with what I'm not. Basically, I don't think I amount to much but if I hadn't put in some effort I'd likely be a sight worse. Half the lads I knocked about with at school got themselves into much worse messes, from what I've seen or what they tell me.
posted by Abiezer at 9:15 AM on December 9, 2007

What I'd like to see is a list of people that didn't accomplish anything significant UNTIL they were my age. As I approach my mid 40's I could use some inspiration that it's not too late to make my mark.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:19 AM on December 9, 2007

At age 99:

Harold Mark Foster of Owensboro, KY, began learning to read.

Teiichi Igarashi climbed Mt. Fuji.

For the second time in a year, Kathleen Slater successfully fought off intruders who attacked her in the middle of the night.

Sure, but they were 102 and 105.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:30 AM on December 9, 2007

Michael Lusher slept through a gunshot to the head.

Yeah, but it happened at 4:20 in the morning.
posted by dazed_one at 9:34 AM on December 9, 2007

At age 33:
[...]
Jesus of Nazareth, a moral teacher and faith healer, was executed and eventually became the most renowned religious figure in history.
[...]

Yes, and by my age Batman had already captured the Joker like twice.

Hey Hildegarde! You need some help with the cult? I'm pretty good with websites and stuff. Cults gotsta have a web site.
posted by device55 at 9:49 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Quite inspiring. Thanks.

whoa
at 63:
Countess Rosa Branicka, a wealthy Polish noble, performed breast cancer surgery on herself and lived to be 82.

at 59:
Clara Barton founded the American Red Cross.

whoa:
At age 1:
By this age, Christian Friedrich Heinecken had read the Pentateuch.

funny:
At age 2:
Sagan P. is able to 1. refrain from screaming when the neighbor dog comes over to play, 2. talk like a pirate (YARRRRgh! Shibble me gimbers!), and 3. pick his nose with both fingers at one time.
posted by nickyskye at 9:50 AM on December 9, 2007

The trick is to key in an age 10 or 15 years in your future, and revel in all the possibility still before you.
posted by Meatbomb at 10:00 AM on December 9, 2007 [4 favorites]

Yeah, I got a little bummed at all the things those 27 year olds have done. But I got more bummed when I realized that I had forgotten how old I am and that I'm actually 28. That was kinda weird.
posted by Ruki at 10:23 AM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Christ. We are nothing. We are less than nothing. Humanity has already had it's day.
posted by tehloki at 10:32 AM on December 9, 2007

And then he made a grammar mistake.
posted by tehloki at 10:32 AM on December 9, 2007

Scottish botanist David Douglas discovered the Douglas fir.

No.
posted by Tube at 10:49 AM on December 9, 2007

Yeah right, like I'm gonna click on that!
posted by Wonderwoman at 10:59 AM on December 9, 2007

Christ. We are nothing.

Well he made it to age 33. Oh, wait. I guess ∞ for some.
posted by ericb at 11:08 AM on December 9, 2007

Hank Williams overdosed on drugs and alcohol.

I'm not sure I'd call that an accomplishment.

Well, you have to remember, Hank had a pretty high tolerance. Defeating that, and ODing - that's actually quite an accomplishment.
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:22 PM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

When I was 28 my agent let me know I was past my sell-by date for being a prodigy. It meant that from that point on, all that really mattered was the quality of my work.

Which was a bit of a relief, really.
posted by jscalzi at 1:18 PM on December 9, 2007

Grandma Moses started painting in her 70s. Accomplishment and age are only incidentally related.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:29 PM on December 9, 2007

This would have bummed me out a few years ago, but I stopped worrying about trying to impress people I don't know with my accomplishments as I moved into my 30's. It is the height of vanity to believe that any but an infinitesimally small percentage of any of us will be remembered by anyone outside of our circle of friends and family. It's more important to live a good life devoted to making you and your loved ones happy.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:43 PM on December 9, 2007

On second thought, that should read "...devoted to making you and your loved ones happy. That and getting toasted. Nicely toasted."
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:45 PM on December 9, 2007

Thank you, Card Cheat, for reminding us of what is truly important in life.

(pours self glass of brandy)
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:13 PM on December 9, 2007

Already one of the great mathematicians, Évariste Galois died at the age of 20. Not "in his twenties." AT 20.
posted by ubiquity at 3:44 PM on December 9, 2007

I attend an institution (Trinity College, Cambridge) which probably has more students who think they will be great mathematicians than anywhere else. They almost universally do not want to discuss Galois.
posted by grouse at 3:50 PM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Age 47: Prescott Bush, grandfather of George W. Bush, was director of a company whose assets were seized under the Trading with the Enemy Act. Even after America entered World War II, he continued working for, and profiting from, companies that helped finance Hitler's rise to power. The money he made from these ventures helped establish the Bush family fortune.
posted by yqxnflld at 4:43 PM on December 9, 2007

Hmm. Check 19, the last one. What's up with that?
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:15 PM on December 9, 2007

At age 30, Norma Paisley realized she has wasted a lot of time.

Now, that's uplifting.
posted by micayetoca at 7:19 PM on December 9, 2007

Yeah, I got a little bummed at all the things those 27 year olds have done.

I'm not sure if anybody's mentioned this yet, but it's worth noting that the majority of major breakthroughs in just about any field you might mention have been made by people up to the age of about 30. Typically, after they revolutionised their field, they never repeated it with another breakthrough of any significance.

I think I've been shot down for saying that here before, and there were obviously people who just never stopped (Edison & Da Vinci spring to mind), but I understand it to be a pattern that's at least true more often than it is false - the idea that if you haven't done something world-shattering by the age of 30, chances are you will never do so.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:25 PM on December 9, 2007

I'm suprised how many other 27 year olds there are in this thread. When I was in school, pretty much everyone I knew was born the same year as me.
posted by delmoi at 8:36 PM on December 9, 2007

I'm 55 and have no interest in reading this. Mozart died when he was 35; I am a little older and have not even written a book. Not even a self-published book. (Worse than writing a book at all, I guess.)

But, do I care? Without going into the sentimental details about family and friends and thousands of lives I have impacted in my job, I will die happily without a handprint in Hollywood or a good review by M.K. in the NYT R. of Books.
posted by kozad at 10:33 PM on December 9, 2007

At age 25:

The future mythologist Joseph Campbell decided to move to Woodstock to read the classics for five years, nine hours a day. Living on very little, he would make himself readily available as a dinner guest.


Oh, man, that is exactly how I need to live after I graduate.
Sometimes I feel depressed about how little I've done in life- but moving from Kentucky to New York when 17 and to Montreal at 20, finishing high school over the internet, switching colleges three times and writing a handful of somewhat forgettable fiction isn't really chicken feed. When James Joyce was 22, he left his family, his church and his country for the European continent, in order to become a writer- by 20, I had left my family, my church and my country for Canada, in order to become a bum.
posted by 235w103 at 11:18 PM on December 9, 2007

One thing that does make me feel bad about myself is that the Olsen twins, some six years my junior, have a collective worth of $100 million.

Just remind yourself what they had to do to get it.
posted by IndigoJones at 7:17 AM on December 10, 2007

At age 46....

Isabel Bevier became the first person to use a thermometer for meat cooking

I'm 46, and still stick my finger or tongue into the meat to see if it's done, and it smarts like hell.

And to think at 46, Isabel was using a thermo meter...I feel like I've accomplished nothing.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 7:33 AM on December 10, 2007

At age 37:

After four years, Michelangelo finally finished painting the ceiling.

Shit, that's no big deal. I painted my ceiling in a couple of days.
posted by pardonyou? at 7:47 AM on December 10, 2007

When James Joyce was 22, he left his family, his church and his country for the European continent, in order to become a writer- by 20, I had left my family, my church and my country for Canada, in order to become a bum.

So you're saying there's a difference?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 3:21 PM on December 10, 2007