Tootleg Boy audiobook defacement

October 26, 2012 8:47 AM

These audio files contain profanity:
The Lord of the Books of the Fifty-Five Arse-Hymens of Stone
Pride and Prejudice and 367 Pages of Balls and Young Men
Pride and Prejudice and Praise and Porridge and Presents and Pedantic Ponies and Pride and Pride and Pride and Proud and Priiide
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 (23 comments total)

At two minutes into the first one, I am absolutely and completely corpsed. I had to stop or actually die from asphyxiation. Tears are running down my face, which is a rictus of extreme mirth.

Almost as funny as Colin Mochrie is what I am saying.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:03 AM on October 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

Almost as funny as Colin Mochrie is what I am saying.

This is as effective as "NSFW" for me to know I need bookmark this post and hold off on clicking these until I get home.
posted by phong3d at 9:07 AM on October 26, 2012 [5 favorites]

For those wondering, Tootleg Boy re-edits the audio versions of classic books to make them very dirty. Somehow I feel like I've seen his work here before, but I guess not. In any case, I've never heard the Jane Austen ones.
posted by koeselitz at 9:09 AM on October 26, 2012

"Arse-Hymens" previously
posted by seiryuu at 9:14 AM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

It must require a tremendous memory and sense of concentration to mentally track all these fragments throughout the audiobook and then go back to reassemble them later in an audio editor.

I would say "My hat is off to him!" but I am afraid what he might recut that sentence to say.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:18 AM on October 26, 2012

When the 55 Arse-Hymens linke was posted to the blue a couple years ago, we had a bunch of friends over, and it had us all in stitches. Yes, we are all that juvenile. Yes, this is that good.
posted by xedrik at 9:18 AM on October 26, 2012

These audio files contain profanity:

That's underselling it a little, don't you think?
posted by wenestvedt at 9:20 AM on October 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

Any excuse to link to Cassetteboy v Harry Potter is a good excuse. 1 and 2.
posted by howfar at 9:35 AM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Darcy to the max!
posted by RogerB at 9:38 AM on October 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

One one hand, the amount of sifting, clip selecting and editing must be staggering. On the other hand, I'm way more immature than I thought.
posted by One Hand Slowclapping at 9:46 AM on October 26, 2012

...awkward and silent and afraid of god...
posted by ennui.bz at 9:51 AM on October 26, 2012

Oh god, laughing doesn't normally hurt this much. These are exceptional pieces of work, and it's a shame I can only ever share them with my most juvenile people I know.
posted by figurant at 10:19 AM on October 26, 2012

When I first played this for my gaming group, we were all weeping with laughter the entire way through. "I've written 'Gandalf was here'!" will still prompt paroxysms of giggling at any time.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:44 AM on October 26, 2012

So are these really 100% from the audio books? How did they get Gandalf to say "testicles," for example? I get that they could mash words together, but I can't even think of two words that could be put together to make that word.
posted by drjimmy11 at 10:59 AM on October 26, 2012

"Fucking farties rectums poo
I love cocks and testes too
Do I like them? Yes I do!
Fucking farties rectums poo"

Can't stop laughing.
posted by Dismantled King at 11:01 AM on October 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

So are these really 100% from the audio books? How did they get Gandalf to say "testicles," for example? I get that they could mash words together, but I can't even think of two words that could be put together to make that word.

The riddle at the entrance to Moria? That's gotta be a test.

The Misty Mountains? You know that's got icicles.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:10 AM on October 26, 2012

And suddenly we are all twelve years old again. How wonderful!

Also... bottom.
posted by Naberius at 12:05 PM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Gandalf says "test" to Frodo, discussing the identity of the Ring. "There is a last test to make. But I no longer doubt my guess."

"Icles" is harder. But if The Hobbit was fair game, we have "And just bring out the cold chicken and pickles!"
posted by darksasami at 12:22 PM on October 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

Big improvement.
posted by telstar at 1:12 PM on October 26, 2012

"At last, as if they had come to an agreement without any words being spoken ..."
posted by zippy at 3:43 PM on October 26, 2012

So are these really 100% from the audio books? How did they get Gandalf to say "testicles," for example? I get that they could mash words together, but I can't even think of two words that could be put together to make that word.

I actually own the Rob Inglis LoTR (good version by the way, he sings most of the poetry, which tends to make it less turgid), and yes it all seems to be him. I'd suggest "articles" is the word used in "testicles", as I don't think icicles appears in the text. Also "test" is probably from Gandalf's test of the Ring.

...

...

Oh I've wasted my life.
posted by howfar at 4:07 PM on October 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

How have we gotten this far without anyone mentioning Dirty Potter?
posted by Parasite Unseen at 9:57 PM on October 26, 2012

"How did they get Gandalf to say "testicles," for example?"

The thing I find is that even after decades of digital editing software, all this still sounds so dodgy.

If you're doing test +(p)ickles in some sort of quick and dirty method, chances are that it will sound wrong... inconsistent and disjointed. However, if you do test+ "eeeh"+"ick"+"ull"+"sss", adjusting the pitch and duration and editing the fading in / out and blending appropriately, it's possible to do it so well that you can't even notice the edit.

In fact, I'm more than a bit shocked that someone hasn't created software to automate the process of doing this yet!
posted by markkraft at 10:45 AM on October 27, 2012 [1 favorite]