Cooking the Books

November 21, 2007 9:43 AM

Multinational food and pharmaceutical company Podrovka is cooking its books -- literally. Its latest annual report includes a section that must be baked in the oven before it can be read.
posted by brain_drain (20 comments total)

That's a rare idea for this medium.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:00 AM on November 21, 2007 [3 favorites]

Well done, Faint of Butt.
posted by sciurus at 10:01 AM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

And it was posted on the blue.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 10:04 AM on November 21, 2007

I'll get me coat.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 10:05 AM on November 21, 2007

If it's a double, sorry folks -- but my searches came up (and still come up) empty.
posted by brain_drain at 10:07 AM on November 21, 2007

If I try to microwave it'll come out all limp and soggy, won't it?
posted by thewalrusispaul at 10:10 AM on November 21, 2007

Very interesting! (Pay no attention to people who claim something is a double but can't be bothered to find and link to the original; it's lazy and impolite.)
posted by languagehat at 10:22 AM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

I thought "blue" referred to a temperature of meat; isn't it "really really really just about raw" or something like that?
posted by Lucinda at 11:08 AM on November 21, 2007

Looks like it does (scroll down to "blue rare"), although I hadn't heard the term before either. Apparently ClanvidHorse is not lazy and impolite, just very, very esoteric as regards puns and cookery.
posted by yhbc at 11:20 AM on November 21, 2007

Pharmaceutical company? Forgive my ignorance, but in what way is Podravka a pharmaceutical company?
posted by nzero at 11:40 AM on November 21, 2007

Cancel that, I figured it out.
posted by nzero at 11:42 AM on November 21, 2007

yeah, it was a stupid pun following on from the other ones from FaintofButt and sciurus. As for the 'I'll get me coat' bit, it was a reference to an early 90s UK sketch show (The Fast Show) when someone says something rubbish and leaves the room (me in this case).

With my bean-counting head on though I can't see for the life of me why a company would go to this expense and effort with their accounts. I am sure most shareholders don't want a flashy box (cos it's their money down the drain) and I can't see how what purpose it serves other than to win a few meaningless design awards. Nice idea but can't see analysts going crazy for the numbers because it's in a nice box.

As for 'blue' steak, I have had the misfortune to try this at the behest of a chef (it's illegal to get steak blue in the UK) when I used to work in a hotel. It tasted ok but I had the sorest stomach afterwards. I think the surface of the steak had been sealed for 15 seconds each side (if that).
posted by ClanvidHorse at 11:49 AM on November 21, 2007

Thanks for the link, yhbc. You and ClanvidHorse and Lucinda have taught me a new culinary term - "blue rare" - that I will probably never use because I tend to overcook everything. I didn't see the original comment and jump to the conclusion that it was 'calling out a double', but rather as a joke making a reference I didn't 'get'. But then, I'm lazy and impolite myself.

I'm just glad the actual financial numbers are not in the temperature-sensitive book, because some people would obviously try to improve them by overcooking... from raw red to blackened.
posted by wendell at 12:04 PM on November 21, 2007

So I take it they had a good year?
posted by longdaysjourney at 1:57 PM on November 21, 2007

Wendell mentions "red raw to blackened" and that reminds me there is a style of cooking steak where the outside is charred and the inside very, very rare that is referred to as black and blue, apparently also known as Pittsburgh style.
posted by kcds at 3:39 PM on November 21, 2007

With my bean-counting head on though I can't see for the life of me why a company would go to this expense and effort with their accounts.
I had never heard of this company before. Now I have been to their website and looked at their products. It turns out that I have tried one of their products in the past (Vegeta stock). I didn't like it much (too salty) and none of their other products appeal to me, but they might have. That aside, just the fact that I visited their site to see what they were about tells me that the gimmicky book is working.
posted by tellurian at 3:42 PM on November 21, 2007

On further perusal, I could probably go for Kviki Salty Sticks. I'd share them too, "Hey girl, you want a Kviki?"
posted by tellurian at 4:05 PM on November 21, 2007

"Hey girl, you want a Kviki?"
I hear that in the voice of Arte Johnson's character on Laugh-In and wish I could wack tellurian with Ruth Buzzi's handbag.
posted by wendell at 7:15 PM on November 21, 2007

heh! I loved that show when I was a kid.
Tyrone F. Horneigh [falls off the park bench]
posted by tellurian at 9:31 PM on November 21, 2007

Ten point bonus for correct spelling of the character's name!!!

*socks it to tellurian*

Wolfgang: Ver-r-r-r-ry interesting. But a total derail. Lucy, I still love you - meet me at the Smoke House for a blue steak and a baked annual report for two.

Gary Owens: This program was prerecorded to give the cast time to get through airport security and onto the next plane to Croatia.

©1969 George Schlatter/Ed Friendly Productions
posted by wendell at 10:11 PM on November 21, 2007