When "Happy Birthday" Doesn't Cut It Anymore
March 9, 2020 11:08 AM Subscribe
Generate a handwashing infographic with the song lyrics of your choice, provided you choose lyrics available on Genius. Web tool created by William Gibson (no, not that one).
I like singing happy birthday to myself multiple times per day. It never gets old, even if I do!
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:21 AM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:21 AM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
Bohemian Rhapsody
Last panel:
"Carry on, carry on. As if nothing really matters."
posted by hal9k at 11:25 AM on March 9, 2020 [10 favorites]
Last panel:
"Carry on, carry on. As if nothing really matters."
posted by hal9k at 11:25 AM on March 9, 2020 [10 favorites]
seems like it's getting slammed at the moment :( really wanted my "Rules of Nature" infographic!
posted by dismas at 11:25 AM on March 9, 2020
posted by dismas at 11:25 AM on March 9, 2020
Stop
Handwash Time
A.K.A U Can't Touch Face
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:34 AM on March 9, 2020 [14 favorites]
Handwash Time
A.K.A U Can't Touch Face
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:34 AM on March 9, 2020 [14 favorites]
I did this for myself this morning, via YouTube and The Bee Gees “Staying Alive.”
If you sing thru the first verse, then to the end of the first part of the chorus:
“Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother
You’re staying alive, staying alive”
22 seconds..... staying ALIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE, ahhhh, ahhhhhh, oh......
posted by Silvery Fish at 11:43 AM on March 9, 2020
If you sing thru the first verse, then to the end of the first part of the chorus:
“Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother
You’re staying alive, staying alive”
22 seconds..... staying ALIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE, ahhhh, ahhhhhh, oh......
posted by Silvery Fish at 11:43 AM on March 9, 2020
It's got a character limit cut off - I can't do It's The End of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
Seems apropos.
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:44 AM on March 9, 2020 [3 favorites]
Seems apropos.
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:44 AM on March 9, 2020 [3 favorites]
Any song at 96bpm will give you a 20 second chorus if that chorus is 8 bars long. Examples: "Party In The USA" by Miley Cyrus, or "Hey Soul Sister" by That Awful Bay Area Band.
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:46 AM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:46 AM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
“True Trans Soul Rebel” by Against Me! makes for an alarming poster.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:52 AM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:52 AM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
I can't seem to make the site do anything at all. But, I was really excited to discover earlier today that Yves Klein's Monotone-Silence Symphony (1949) has a passage which consists of exactly 20 seconds of silence. Then I realized I read it wrong and it's actually 20 minutes. That'll work too. But, it'll eat up a lot more time.
After The Fall (the Nomi one) is my favorite. It's 25 seconds, but worth the extra five.
posted by eotvos at 11:52 AM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
After The Fall (the Nomi one) is my favorite. It's 25 seconds, but worth the extra five.
posted by eotvos at 11:52 AM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
Seem to be getting a network error after entering a song name. Perhaps the connection between the site and Genius?
posted by MrGuilt at 11:54 AM on March 9, 2020
posted by MrGuilt at 11:54 AM on March 9, 2020
The ABC song is just about right. Or, if your little ones don't like that, they can sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.
posted by bonehead at 12:05 PM on March 9, 2020
posted by bonehead at 12:05 PM on March 9, 2020
Web tool created by William Gibson (no, not that one).
The street finds its own uses for things.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:05 PM on March 9, 2020 [7 favorites]
The street finds its own uses for things.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:05 PM on March 9, 2020 [7 favorites]
Today I used "Singin' in the Rain". I've also used The Beatles' "Her Majesty".
A Florida-born friend reported on Facebook that he has been using the bridge to "Cheeseburger in Paradise", and I have been teasing him ever since about how "You can take the Parrothead out of Florida, but...."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:06 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
A Florida-born friend reported on Facebook that he has been using the bridge to "Cheeseburger in Paradise", and I have been teasing him ever since about how "You can take the Parrothead out of Florida, but...."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:06 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
You may say to yourself, my God, what have I done?
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:35 PM on March 9, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:35 PM on March 9, 2020 [6 favorites]
Say No To This works kind of well. If you could only sub in "That's when Miss Coronavirus walked into my life."
posted by corb at 12:57 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by corb at 12:57 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
Hmm, I probably should have rethought my choice of using PE's "Don't Believe the Hype", the folks at the office are thoroughly confused.
posted by jeremias at 1:23 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by jeremias at 1:23 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
For when you need to be extra-sure.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:55 PM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
For when you need to be extra-sure.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:55 PM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
Star Spangled Bologna
I actually find singing "My Bologna has a first name ..." long enough for effective hand washing, but I can't shift the phrasing around in Wash your Lyrics
posted by jazon at 1:56 PM on March 9, 2020
I actually find singing "My Bologna has a first name ..." long enough for effective hand washing, but I can't shift the phrasing around in Wash your Lyrics
posted by jazon at 1:56 PM on March 9, 2020
Finally, a way to put early Swans lyrics to hand washing just like they were meant to be.
posted by misterpatrick at 2:25 PM on March 9, 2020
posted by misterpatrick at 2:25 PM on March 9, 2020
this is fabulous but it keeps putting lyrics under the last image which is just there to indicate timing - which also creates awkwardness because lyrics are more likely to be in units of four. However, a little light editing to remove the final text gives good results.
posted by Acheman at 2:50 PM on March 9, 2020
posted by Acheman at 2:50 PM on March 9, 2020
The thing i've never been sure about with 20 seconds for hand washing: Is that supposed to be 20 seconds of rubbing the soap all over your fingers palms and then rinsing, or 20 seconds rinsing in warm water after you've soaped up.
posted by willnot at 2:50 PM on March 9, 2020
posted by willnot at 2:50 PM on March 9, 2020
"do the evolution"
Wish you could index into the song lyrics to 'get to the chorus'
posted by anthill at 2:54 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
Wish you could index into the song lyrics to 'get to the chorus'
posted by anthill at 2:54 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
I think this one might roll off the tongue the most easily.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:05 PM on March 9, 2020 [10 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:05 PM on March 9, 2020 [10 favorites]
Wash away all those bad particles, man!
When he's under water does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead? Nobody knows, particle man.
posted by MCTDavid at 3:22 PM on March 9, 2020 [4 favorites]
When he's under water does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead? Nobody knows, particle man.
posted by MCTDavid at 3:22 PM on March 9, 2020 [4 favorites]
I think this one might roll off the tongue the most easily
We've been RickScrubbed!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:14 PM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
We've been RickScrubbed!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:14 PM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
The thing i've never been sure about with 20 seconds for hand washing: Is that supposed to be 20 seconds of rubbing the soap all over your fingers palms and then rinsing, or 20 seconds rinsing in warm water after you've soaped up.
It's 20 seconds of rubbing the soap all over (CDC).
posted by Margalo Epps at 5:25 PM on March 9, 2020 [4 favorites]
It's 20 seconds of rubbing the soap all over (CDC).
posted by Margalo Epps at 5:25 PM on March 9, 2020 [4 favorites]
Clap Hands
'What's He Building In There?' almost works too.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:34 PM on March 9, 2020 [3 favorites]
'What's He Building In There?' almost works too.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:34 PM on March 9, 2020 [3 favorites]
I'd been singing the ABCs, but a friend posted the Dune version, and that got my wheels turning, and I ended up with this:
I must use soap.
Soap is the virus killer.
Soap is the little death that brings total cleanliness.
I will use soap.
I will spread it over my fingers and into my palms.
And when I am clean, I will rinse it off in hot water.
Where soap has gone, there will be no virus.
Only clean will remain.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:56 PM on March 9, 2020 [6 favorites]
I must use soap.
Soap is the virus killer.
Soap is the little death that brings total cleanliness.
I will use soap.
I will spread it over my fingers and into my palms.
And when I am clean, I will rinse it off in hot water.
Where soap has gone, there will be no virus.
Only clean will remain.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:56 PM on March 9, 2020 [6 favorites]
Now I want to do a meta parody with Harder Better Faster Stronger but the handwashing is redrawn to be Daft Hands.
Unfortunately, I am lazy.
posted by ckape at 7:17 PM on March 9, 2020
Unfortunately, I am lazy.
posted by ckape at 7:17 PM on March 9, 2020
This is not the greatest hand-washing technique with soap and water in the world, this is just a tribute.
posted by ckape at 7:38 PM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by ckape at 7:38 PM on March 9, 2020 [2 favorites]
Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads works well.
So does Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies.
posted by not_on_display at 7:40 PM on March 9, 2020
So does Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies.
posted by not_on_display at 7:40 PM on March 9, 2020
...or more thematically appropriate but so dark...
posted by Foosnark at 8:08 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Foosnark at 8:08 PM on March 9, 2020 [1 favorite]
everybodyclap your hands *clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap*
posted by Kitchen Witch at 8:12 PM on March 9, 2020
posted by Kitchen Witch at 8:12 PM on March 9, 2020
I managed to get It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) to come up. I just pasted the whole song title and let it cut off where it would. Sadly it just starts at the beginning of the song where the chorus would have done better.
Similarly The Show Must Go On and Who Wants to Live Forever aren't quite the snippets I'd have used.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:25 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
Similarly The Show Must Go On and Who Wants to Live Forever aren't quite the snippets I'd have used.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:25 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
This is fun to play with!
Here's "Clean" by Taylor Swift.
I like that the "finally clean" part is under the picture of finishing cleaning and that it ends by saying there's nothing left to do.
posted by danabanana at 6:39 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
Here's "Clean" by Taylor Swift.
I like that the "finally clean" part is under the picture of finishing cleaning and that it ends by saying there's nothing left to do.
posted by danabanana at 6:39 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
What do we do when our hands are dirty
What do we do when our hands are dirty
What do we do when our hands are dirty
Earl-ay in the morning
Scrub with soap and water till they're sterile
Scrub with soap and water till they're sterile
Scrub with soap and water till they're sterile
Earl-ay in the morning
Way-hey, the suds we rinses
Way-hey, the suds we rinses
Way-hey, the suds we rinses
Earl-ay in the morning
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:35 AM on March 10, 2020 [4 favorites]
What do we do when our hands are dirty
What do we do when our hands are dirty
Earl-ay in the morning
Scrub with soap and water till they're sterile
Scrub with soap and water till they're sterile
Scrub with soap and water till they're sterile
Earl-ay in the morning
Way-hey, the suds we rinses
Way-hey, the suds we rinses
Way-hey, the suds we rinses
Earl-ay in the morning
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:35 AM on March 10, 2020 [4 favorites]
You’re Dead by Norma Tanega works far better than it should, but I suspect no-one would want to hear me sing it as I cheerfully scrub my hands
posted by scruss at 10:14 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by scruss at 10:14 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
NEW FAVORITE HANDWASHING SONG -
I'm in a co-working space (not a WeWork, an indie space) that plays some great music in the washrooms. And today, just as I was about to approach the sink after a restroom visit, they started playing "Gimme Shelter". And happily, the first verse and chorus work for the 20-second timing, and the song also feels appropriately apocalyptic.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:14 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
I'm in a co-working space (not a WeWork, an indie space) that plays some great music in the washrooms. And today, just as I was about to approach the sink after a restroom visit, they started playing "Gimme Shelter". And happily, the first verse and chorus work for the 20-second timing, and the song also feels appropriately apocalyptic.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:14 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
"Ceremony" - New Order, especially 3, 4, 5, and 13
posted by eyeball at 10:32 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by eyeball at 10:32 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
It's not quarantine, I'm just cutting you off, and your racist friend.
posted by ckape at 11:38 AM on March 10, 2020
posted by ckape at 11:38 AM on March 10, 2020
Sadly Baby Shark > Live Fast, Die Young > Lust for Life, but only for meter. I've been hoping for something like this though, so thanks!
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:46 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:46 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
In my book, there's only one song for hand-washing. You can perfectly re-create the beat with your hands, or just beatbox.
posted by onehalfjunco at 11:52 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by onehalfjunco at 11:52 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
The poster generated for Iggy Pop's The Passenger concludes with "and everything looks good tonight."
posted by katra at 11:55 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by katra at 11:55 AM on March 10, 2020 [1 favorite]
Hmm, which to use? Blood Makes Noise or I Touch Myself?
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 12:25 PM on March 10, 2020
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 12:25 PM on March 10, 2020
This makes me want to wear a flowy red dress and wash my hands on the moors.
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:42 PM on March 10, 2020
posted by fiercecupcake at 2:42 PM on March 10, 2020
I've been washing my hands by two verses and the chorus of Black Hole Sun for years. Mostly I whistle it and several people have asked why I'm always whistling Black Hole Sun in the restroom.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:03 PM on March 10, 2020
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:03 PM on March 10, 2020
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posted by jquinby at 11:16 AM on March 9, 2020 [4 favorites]