Congratulations, it's a cacodemon!
September 7, 2020 5:32 AM Subscribe
"Endianness fixed, bluetooth controller missing, alternative bluetooth controller broken, alternate alternate controller found, and now I have DOOM ON A PREGNANCY TEST"
"and to clarify what I'm doing here:
This is a replacement display AND a replacement microcontroller. I'm not using any of the original tester other than the shell."
On this basis I could probably get Doom to play on a cheese sandwich.
posted by pipeski at 5:45 AM on September 7, 2020 [32 favorites]
This is a replacement display AND a replacement microcontroller. I'm not using any of the original tester other than the shell."
On this basis I could probably get Doom to play on a cheese sandwich.
posted by pipeski at 5:45 AM on September 7, 2020 [32 favorites]
Looking at the teardown, these "electronic" tests seem to be incredibly wasteful. All those electronics in the device are there for no reason other than marketing it as "digital". Inside it's the same paper strip test.
posted by Poldo at 5:51 AM on September 7, 2020 [14 favorites]
posted by Poldo at 5:51 AM on September 7, 2020 [14 favorites]
Looking at the teardown, these "electronic" tests seem to be incredibly wasteful. All those electronics in the device are there for no reason other than marketing it as "digital". Inside it's the same paper strip test.
That was my initial reaction too. Though I've seen the counterargument that a digital display provides much less scope for misinterpretation, and brings the accuracy up from about 75% to the high 90s. So we're using powerful computers as display layers for disposable tests.
What would be ideal would be a bin you can drop used tests off into, where the electronics would be extracted, tested and reused. Though in the age of surveillance capitalism, this would be unviable: as soon as it happened, some data-broker or techbro startup would offer test manufacturers money to permanently record the result inside the test (possibly along with GPS data if the chipset has that), and would start buying used tests from the recycling centres, running DNA matches on the urine strips and combining them with test results and monetising the results. So some more consumers would see either ads for baby clothes or fertility treatments, and possibly adjustments to their insurance premiums.
Therefore, there is no option but to securely destroy all these tests once they have been used, because surveillance capitalism.
posted by acb at 5:56 AM on September 7, 2020 [5 favorites]
That was my initial reaction too. Though I've seen the counterargument that a digital display provides much less scope for misinterpretation, and brings the accuracy up from about 75% to the high 90s. So we're using powerful computers as display layers for disposable tests.
What would be ideal would be a bin you can drop used tests off into, where the electronics would be extracted, tested and reused. Though in the age of surveillance capitalism, this would be unviable: as soon as it happened, some data-broker or techbro startup would offer test manufacturers money to permanently record the result inside the test (possibly along with GPS data if the chipset has that), and would start buying used tests from the recycling centres, running DNA matches on the urine strips and combining them with test results and monetising the results. So some more consumers would see either ads for baby clothes or fertility treatments, and possibly adjustments to their insurance premiums.
Therefore, there is no option but to securely destroy all these tests once they have been used, because surveillance capitalism.
posted by acb at 5:56 AM on September 7, 2020 [5 favorites]
Also: don't all babies go through a cacodaemon phase?
posted by acb at 5:59 AM on September 7, 2020 [9 favorites]
posted by acb at 5:59 AM on September 7, 2020 [9 favorites]
For people who need a lot of tests - those getting fertility treatments, for example - it seemd like this sort of digital device could work like a blood sugar monitor where you replace the strips of paper for each test but not the whole damn device.
For people who don't need a lot of tests, that kind of waste for a one-time use device should be illegal.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:20 AM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
For people who don't need a lot of tests, that kind of waste for a one-time use device should be illegal.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:20 AM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
There are a lot of politics built into at-home pregnancy tests. Not just the obvious economic ones (the additional accuracy is vital if you can't afford a spare office visit for confirmation). For example: they don't just run the test, give you the results, and then shut off. They're designed to lock up and continue to display the results for a guaranteed amount of time, because in many relationships they have to act, for better or worse, as evidence.
posted by phooky at 6:30 AM on September 7, 2020 [11 favorites]
posted by phooky at 6:30 AM on September 7, 2020 [11 favorites]
Maybe these could be repurposed into pregnancy tests (or vice versa).
posted by Cardinal Fang at 6:49 AM on September 7, 2020
posted by Cardinal Fang at 6:49 AM on September 7, 2020
Just to clarify that the quoted 25% false negative rate dates back to 1982, and is from this paper.
posted by ambrosen at 6:57 AM on September 7, 2020
posted by ambrosen at 6:57 AM on September 7, 2020
On this basis I could probably get Doom to play on a cheese sandwich.
I'd suggest using pimento cheese; the red bits would display the demons well. Plus, it's tasty!
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:00 AM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
I'd suggest using pimento cheese; the red bits would display the demons well. Plus, it's tasty!
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:00 AM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
Foone is a twisted genius. I'm particularly fond of their FlopKey.
posted by Cardinal Fang at 7:11 AM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Cardinal Fang at 7:11 AM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
If you've never squinted at a test strip, pissed on furtively in a bathroom with bad lighting, in a big hurry because you every move is being monitored for suspicious activity by bad parents or a bad partner, trying to decide whether there are one barely visible lines or two, please, and kindly, shut the fuck up about whether these are a good idea or not. Especially if you're a cis dude, jesus christ.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:15 AM on September 7, 2020 [12 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:15 AM on September 7, 2020 [12 favorites]
Fair point, Sean. I am not a cis dude, but also never been in that kind of domestic situation, either.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:25 AM on September 7, 2020
posted by jacquilynne at 7:25 AM on September 7, 2020
Also: don't all babies go through a cacodaemon phase?Yes. At about the eleventh trimester.
posted by JohnFromGR at 7:30 AM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
Looking at the teardown, these "electronic" tests seem to be incredibly wasteful. All those electronics in the device are there for no reason other than marketing it as "digital". Inside it's the same paper strip test.
The electronics do make it digital though. They turn a test based on interpretation of the darkness of a line into a simple binary outcome.
Using the electronics allows a small boost in sensitivity because now you can use a pre-programmed threshold for "pregnant", you're not relying on a completely invisible line for a negative.
It is *very* hard making a properly binary test using just chemistry.
They are extraordinarily wasteful though, and all the time I was working on them I felt pretty guilty. We'd throw away skips full of used electronics and literally barrels full of batteries that had only been used once (and a whole *gram* of antibody...).
It's just not economical to make the electronics re-usable. The whole point of these tests is to remove any possible point of failure. Pee on the stick, see the result. The electronic tests were a massive success - the market for these fancier tests is the "hopers" who want to be pregnant. They test early and often, and want to know they're pregnant. The "dreaders" test later using cheap tests (and make up a very small proportion of the pregnancy test market).
posted by jonnyseveral at 10:59 AM on September 7, 2020 [7 favorites]
The electronics do make it digital though. They turn a test based on interpretation of the darkness of a line into a simple binary outcome.
Using the electronics allows a small boost in sensitivity because now you can use a pre-programmed threshold for "pregnant", you're not relying on a completely invisible line for a negative.
It is *very* hard making a properly binary test using just chemistry.
They are extraordinarily wasteful though, and all the time I was working on them I felt pretty guilty. We'd throw away skips full of used electronics and literally barrels full of batteries that had only been used once (and a whole *gram* of antibody...).
It's just not economical to make the electronics re-usable. The whole point of these tests is to remove any possible point of failure. Pee on the stick, see the result. The electronic tests were a massive success - the market for these fancier tests is the "hopers" who want to be pregnant. They test early and often, and want to know they're pregnant. The "dreaders" test later using cheap tests (and make up a very small proportion of the pregnancy test market).
posted by jonnyseveral at 10:59 AM on September 7, 2020 [7 favorites]
There are a lot of politics built into at-home pregnancy tests. Not just the obvious economic ones (the additional accuracy is vital if you can't afford a spare office visit for confirmation). For example: they don't just run the test, give you the results, and then shut off. They're designed to lock up and continue to display the results for a guaranteed amount of time, because in many relationships they have to act, for better or worse, as evidence.
If you've never squinted at a test strip, pissed on furtively in a bathroom with bad lighting, in a big hurry because you every move is being monitored for suspicious activity by bad parents or a bad partner, trying to decide whether there are one barely visible lines or two, please, and kindly, shut the fuck up about whether these are a good idea or not. Especially if you're a cis dude, jesus christ.
As I recall, people in difficult situations like that aren't the people who buy fancy electronic tests. They're designed to display for as long as possible to show off to family and friends, not to be evidence. One thing we were investigating when I left was a screen that would not require power to keep the display (eink or such) so that people could keep their positive test as a memento.
posted by jonnyseveral at 11:04 AM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
Using the electronics allows a small boost in sensitivity because now you can use a pre-programmed threshold for "pregnant", you're not relying on a completely invisible line for a negative.
Precisely. I used to work on immunoassay analyzers for clinical labs and it honestly works the exact same way. Mix the patient sample + various funny reagents/chemicals, rinse and then shine a light through the works. Filter out everything except the exact color you want and then measure the level of response. It's never 0 or 100%, it's a continuum and you define a baseline and cutoff based on values the researchers have discovered to denote positive or negative.
The paper lateral flow assays were direct descendents of these ELISA assays to begin with. And now there's a way to make a cheap spectrophotometer for $10. That's not so bad.
posted by mookoz at 11:08 AM on September 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Precisely. I used to work on immunoassay analyzers for clinical labs and it honestly works the exact same way. Mix the patient sample + various funny reagents/chemicals, rinse and then shine a light through the works. Filter out everything except the exact color you want and then measure the level of response. It's never 0 or 100%, it's a continuum and you define a baseline and cutoff based on values the researchers have discovered to denote positive or negative.
The paper lateral flow assays were direct descendents of these ELISA assays to begin with. And now there's a way to make a cheap spectrophotometer for $10. That's not so bad.
posted by mookoz at 11:08 AM on September 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Especially if you're a cis dude, jesus christ.
I'm pretty sure the majority view is that he was, for better or (probably) worse.
posted by The Bellman at 11:37 AM on September 7, 2020
I'm pretty sure the majority view is that he was, for better or (probably) worse.
posted by The Bellman at 11:37 AM on September 7, 2020
And now there's a way to make a cheap spectrophotometer for $10. That's not so bad.
I wonder if you could hack the electronics to work with other kinds of lateral-flow paper tests? You probably couldn't buy the individual components for less than a single test, due to the economics of scale involved. They're probably an interesting source of materials.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:59 AM on September 7, 2020
I wonder if you could hack the electronics to work with other kinds of lateral-flow paper tests? You probably couldn't buy the individual components for less than a single test, due to the economics of scale involved. They're probably an interesting source of materials.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:59 AM on September 7, 2020
Or they could make the electronics cheaper and simpler; perhaps in the range of a disposable RFID tag with a (possibly single-use/nonerasable) e-paper display. That would cut down on the amount of toxic waste by volume, at least.
posted by acb at 12:06 PM on September 7, 2020
posted by acb at 12:06 PM on September 7, 2020
I wonder if you could hack the electronics to work with other kinds of lateral-flow paper tests? You probably couldn't buy the individual components for less than a single test, due to the economics of scale involved. They're probably an interesting source of materials.
It's a simple LED that shines through the strip and gets blocked by the line, and a photodiode to detect it. You could very easily put other strips in it, but they would have to have *exactly* the same performance characteristics. All the code to interpret the output is burned into EPROM.
You could buy the individual components for *far less* than the cost of a test, even without economies of scale. These things cost substantially less than a dollar to manufacture.
The profit margin is massive, because sales *drop* if the price gets any lower. The most expensive pregnancy test is normally the best-seller.
posted by jonnyseveral at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
It's a simple LED that shines through the strip and gets blocked by the line, and a photodiode to detect it. You could very easily put other strips in it, but they would have to have *exactly* the same performance characteristics. All the code to interpret the output is burned into EPROM.
You could buy the individual components for *far less* than the cost of a test, even without economies of scale. These things cost substantially less than a dollar to manufacture.
The profit margin is massive, because sales *drop* if the price gets any lower. The most expensive pregnancy test is normally the best-seller.
posted by jonnyseveral at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
a keyboard is gonna be very limited and kinda disgustingLet me guess: P
you can only type one letter, and to get it; you have to pee on it
posted by biogeo at 1:50 PM on September 7, 2020
The profit margin is massive, because sales *drop* if the price gets any lower. The most expensive pregnancy test is normally the best-seller.
Shows how bad math education is.
Back when I still had to concern myself with these issues, I would buy three of the cheapest ones for a fraction of the price of the expensive ones. Never got contradictory results, either all three matched or very rarely one of the three did not work.
posted by Dr. Curare at 2:00 PM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
Especially if you're a cis dude, jesus christ.
I'm pretty sure the majority view is that he was, for better or (probably) worse.
It’s my understanding that he was haploid, and who knows how that would affect his gender, although according to most artwork he presented as a European male.
posted by TedW at 2:20 PM on September 7, 2020
I'm pretty sure the majority view is that he was, for better or (probably) worse.
It’s my understanding that he was haploid, and who knows how that would affect his gender, although according to most artwork he presented as a European male.
posted by TedW at 2:20 PM on September 7, 2020
That's a weird Taken scenario where you have a villain outside a darkened bathroom where the heroine is desperately trying to read the pregnancy test if only the EPA didn't take away her digital, albeit probably less of a color contrast, pregnancy test. Is it one line or two?! One line or two?!
posted by geoff. at 2:26 PM on September 7, 2020
posted by geoff. at 2:26 PM on September 7, 2020
The most expensive pregnancy test is normally the best-seller.
Future anthropologists will doubtless theorise that the creation and sacrifice of an elaborately overengineered machine for this purpose was intended as a propitiatory sacrifice to the fertility gods, or something similar.
Conversely, perhaps a lot of the theorised “religious” activities in ancient cultures weren't so much observances to fickle gods as the usual human vanity, short-sightedness and cognitive biases.
posted by acb at 4:31 PM on September 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
Future anthropologists will doubtless theorise that the creation and sacrifice of an elaborately overengineered machine for this purpose was intended as a propitiatory sacrifice to the fertility gods, or something similar.
Conversely, perhaps a lot of the theorised “religious” activities in ancient cultures weren't so much observances to fickle gods as the usual human vanity, short-sightedness and cognitive biases.
posted by acb at 4:31 PM on September 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
I would sincerely love to find out that "ritual goods" weren't sacrifices but just shitty gifts getting discreetly disposed of. "Hey, man, what did [fifteen-word Roman name] give you?" "Another fucking brooch. And look, it breaks if you just squeeze it a little bit! Piece of shit! I'm just gonna chuck in the fucking river with the rest of them. Dink."
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:06 PM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:06 PM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
On this basis I could probably get Doom to play on a cheese sandwich.
This is the tech equivalent of the modern art cliche - "What's the big deal? I could have done that".
The same response applies: Yeah, but you didn't.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:37 PM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
This is the tech equivalent of the modern art cliche - "What's the big deal? I could have done that".
The same response applies: Yeah, but you didn't.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:37 PM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
Whenever I see these 'can Doom run on a xyz'? I think yeah, that is creative, but I'm still proud that I managed to get it to run on a 386 from floppy disks. That was difficult enough.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:01 PM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:01 PM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
On this basis I could probably get Doom to play on a cheese sandwich.
This is the tech equivalent of the modern art cliche - "What's the big deal? I could have done that".
Isn't it really more "my 5 year old painted this post-impressionism masterpiece with crayons!
But actually the crayons had brushes embedded in them, and the 5 year old was born on February 29th in the 1990s."
Impressive work, sure, and my 20-year-old definitely didn't do it, but the headline's still a bit off, innit?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 8:47 AM on September 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
This is the tech equivalent of the modern art cliche - "What's the big deal? I could have done that".
Isn't it really more "my 5 year old painted this post-impressionism masterpiece with crayons!
But actually the crayons had brushes embedded in them, and the 5 year old was born on February 29th in the 1990s."
Impressive work, sure, and my 20-year-old definitely didn't do it, but the headline's still a bit off, innit?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 8:47 AM on September 8, 2020 [1 favorite]
This is the tech equivalent of the modern art cliche - "What's the big deal? I could have done that".
I mean, I could literally put Doom on the Raspberri Pi Zero currently sat on my desk, attach a screen, and put it in a shoe, or a gravy boat, or a piece of gammon. I wouldn't claim to be 'playing Doom' on any of those things, though. The modern art cliché only really works because modern art is a field where we've collectively agreed that the artist's intent is a significant part of the substance of the artwork.
That gripe aside, the interesting part was how crude and low-tech these supposed pieces of tech actually are - and that could have stood without the arguably misleading lede.
posted by pipeski at 9:28 AM on September 8, 2020
I mean, I could literally put Doom on the Raspberri Pi Zero currently sat on my desk, attach a screen, and put it in a shoe, or a gravy boat, or a piece of gammon. I wouldn't claim to be 'playing Doom' on any of those things, though. The modern art cliché only really works because modern art is a field where we've collectively agreed that the artist's intent is a significant part of the substance of the artwork.
That gripe aside, the interesting part was how crude and low-tech these supposed pieces of tech actually are - and that could have stood without the arguably misleading lede.
posted by pipeski at 9:28 AM on September 8, 2020
Reddit's mad at me for the Doom thing because it keeps getting posted without all the details and they think I'm scamming them, but they're doing it in the wrong way.I think you may have misinterpreted what sort of mad-them foone is, here.
they're giving me IDEAS
like they keep saying things like "well, they had to replace the screen and cpu! it's just doom running a SHELL of a pregnancy test! it's like sticking a microcontroller in a potato and saying 'LOOK MY POTATO PLAYS DOOM'!"
and all I'm hearing is that I need to go buy some potatoes and waterproofing gel.
posted by CrystalDave at 12:27 PM on September 8, 2020 [3 favorites]
The whole process of seeing the original tweet where the digital test was derided as a waste, foone's teardown and dissection of the hardware, and then the reasoning behind clear messaging on a product that can quite literally provide life-altering information was a fascinating reminder about accessibility and how our assumptions around products that are not for us can make them appear foolish to us.
I admit that my first reaction to seeing this product was that it was clearly a way for the manufacturer to make more money misleading their customers into thinking the test itself provided more accurate readings. After learning of the scenario of users who may have vision trouble, or who have trouble interpreting the odd way that these tests convey information, it makes me want to design a new version using pictographs instead of lines or text, or ones that respond with audio for users who may be unable to see the results, etc.
But of course, I should not design those things because it's not a product I would have a need for myself.
posted by subocoyne at 5:43 PM on September 8, 2020
I admit that my first reaction to seeing this product was that it was clearly a way for the manufacturer to make more money misleading their customers into thinking the test itself provided more accurate readings. After learning of the scenario of users who may have vision trouble, or who have trouble interpreting the odd way that these tests convey information, it makes me want to design a new version using pictographs instead of lines or text, or ones that respond with audio for users who may be unable to see the results, etc.
But of course, I should not design those things because it's not a product I would have a need for myself.
posted by subocoyne at 5:43 PM on September 8, 2020
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posted by seanmpuckett at 5:39 AM on September 7, 2020 [4 favorites]