I GIVE YOU... Sexy Saturn Devouring His Son
October 26, 2021 11:34 AM Subscribe
How to Turn Any Vague Concept Into a Sexy Halloween Costume. Step 1: Pick a decidedly unsexy concept.
I'm sorry but sexy lobster is cannon. The only unsexy character is frog
Girls's Costume Warehouse is an internet classic now, so it needs to be drug out every year for Halloween.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:49 AM on October 26, 2021 [12 favorites]
Girls's Costume Warehouse is an internet classic now, so it needs to be drug out every year for Halloween.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:49 AM on October 26, 2021 [12 favorites]
Sexy Saturn is genius.
posted by Keith Talent at 11:51 AM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Keith Talent at 11:51 AM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Jinx, The_Vegetables! :D
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:53 AM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:53 AM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Dr. Jacoby, but make it sexy
I would argue that Dr. Jacoby violates your first step here.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:55 AM on October 26, 2021
I would argue that Dr. Jacoby violates your first step here.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:55 AM on October 26, 2021
To get even more conceptual, maybe we can comb through Wikipedia:Unusual articles for ideas.
Better yet, feed them into one of those new-fangled image generation AIs.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:55 AM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Better yet, feed them into one of those new-fangled image generation AIs.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:55 AM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Need Sexy Canadian Halloween costumes?
posted by Kitteh at 11:55 AM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 11:55 AM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
To get even more conceptual, maybe we can comb through Wikipedia:Unusual articles for ideas.
Well, not a costume idea, but the non-existant Mountains of Kong and Mountains of the Moon are definitely going in a future Call of Cthulhu game...
posted by kaibutsu at 12:08 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Well, not a costume idea, but the non-existant Mountains of Kong and Mountains of the Moon are definitely going in a future Call of Cthulhu game...
posted by kaibutsu at 12:08 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
What would a sexy Sexy Halloween Costume be?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:13 PM on October 26, 2021
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:13 PM on October 26, 2021
What would a sexy Sexy Halloween Costume be?
like this apparently
posted by BungaDunga at 12:20 PM on October 26, 2021 [38 favorites]
like this apparently
posted by BungaDunga at 12:20 PM on October 26, 2021 [38 favorites]
I suppose that's technically a sexy "sexy "sexy halloween costume" costume" costume
posted by BungaDunga at 12:22 PM on October 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by BungaDunga at 12:22 PM on October 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
Corn on the cob is sexually neutral for most people
[citation needed]
posted by chavenet at 12:25 PM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
[citation needed]
posted by chavenet at 12:25 PM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
Sexy Saturn is genius.
Before I clicked the link, I assumed this would be a short and broadly built person with a hula hoop sort of arrangement around the midsection.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:28 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
Before I clicked the link, I assumed this would be a short and broadly built person with a hula hoop sort of arrangement around the midsection.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:28 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
The only unsexy character is frog
Miss Piggy called and would like to have a discussion.
posted by hippybear at 12:29 PM on October 26, 2021 [18 favorites]
Miss Piggy called and would like to have a discussion.
posted by hippybear at 12:29 PM on October 26, 2021 [18 favorites]
Need Sexy Canadian Halloween costumes?
I'm going as Sexy Notwithstanding Clause.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:32 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
I'm going as Sexy Notwithstanding Clause.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:32 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
I'm going as a sexy Tardis, so I can rationalize eating more candy/party snacks by claiming to be bigger on the inside.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:42 PM on October 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:42 PM on October 26, 2021 [5 favorites]
Alternatively, I could go as a sexy Amish ceiling fan...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:43 PM on October 26, 2021
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:43 PM on October 26, 2021
all sensuous wooden cogs and pulleys...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:44 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:44 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
My favourite recent sexy Halloween costume was “Expired Meat.” It was freakishly warm that year (16 degrees!) so I wanted to do something with minimal coverage.
2’x3’ foamcore bent at the corners to look like a styrofoam meat tray, affixed with a lazy Saran Wrap corset, a little bit of graphic design for butcher’s labels and sale stickers, done.
posted by sixswitch at 12:49 PM on October 26, 2021 [17 favorites]
2’x3’ foamcore bent at the corners to look like a styrofoam meat tray, affixed with a lazy Saran Wrap corset, a little bit of graphic design for butcher’s labels and sale stickers, done.
posted by sixswitch at 12:49 PM on October 26, 2021 [17 favorites]
I am obsessed with the concept of unsexy sexy costumes.
For years, I have wanted to create a 'Sexy Library' costume, to play on the Sexy Librarian trope. Basically, I'd just dress up as a big clunky bookshelf filled with steamy romance and literotica novels. And I'd throw a few bits of lingerie across the shelves, just for good measure.
One of my all-time best Halloween costumes was Sexy Cap'n Crunch. From the waist up, I looked mostly like a standard Cap'n with giant hat, moustache & Cap'n jacket (with a lil' bit o' decolletage) but from the waist down, I wore bright blue shortie shorts and knee high socks. It was a hit. Bonus - I filled my hat with saran-wrapped Cap'n Crunch marshmallow treats and handed them out to the masses.
posted by chara at 12:55 PM on October 26, 2021 [17 favorites]
For years, I have wanted to create a 'Sexy Library' costume, to play on the Sexy Librarian trope. Basically, I'd just dress up as a big clunky bookshelf filled with steamy romance and literotica novels. And I'd throw a few bits of lingerie across the shelves, just for good measure.
One of my all-time best Halloween costumes was Sexy Cap'n Crunch. From the waist up, I looked mostly like a standard Cap'n with giant hat, moustache & Cap'n jacket (with a lil' bit o' decolletage) but from the waist down, I wore bright blue shortie shorts and knee high socks. It was a hit. Bonus - I filled my hat with saran-wrapped Cap'n Crunch marshmallow treats and handed them out to the masses.
posted by chara at 12:55 PM on October 26, 2021 [17 favorites]
Greg_Ace: "Alternatively, I could go as a sexy Amish ceiling fan..."
OrdnungFans
posted by chavenet at 1:04 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
OrdnungFans
posted by chavenet at 1:04 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
A few Halloweens ago my wife and I dressed up as a sexy toilet paper roll (her) and holder (me). She wrapped toilet paper around herself like a mummy, I took a paper towel holder with a flat base (like this one), stuck it in the front of my pants with the post sticking out through my fly and hung an actual toilet paper roll on it. It was by a country mile the most attention I've ever received at a Halloween party, or probably any party. Probably any situation in my entire life.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:17 PM on October 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:17 PM on October 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
Really not a costume that would play as well in 2021, I think.
posted by hippybear at 1:25 PM on October 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 1:25 PM on October 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
My most successful Halloween costume was Sexy Abraham Lincoln, aka “Baberaham”. You can do a lot with a tuxedo.
posted by saturday_morning at 1:35 PM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
posted by saturday_morning at 1:35 PM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
Need Sexy Canadian Halloween costumes?
I'm going as Sexy Notwithstanding Clause.
As sexy as possible under the circumstances.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:52 PM on October 26, 2021 [20 favorites]
I'm going as Sexy Notwithstanding Clause.
As sexy as possible under the circumstances.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:52 PM on October 26, 2021 [20 favorites]
A friend of mine dressed up as a sexed up dossier a number of years ago, and I still haven't seen that beat. He literally made a tiny top and miniskirt out of printouts of pages of the Iraq WMD investigation report.
posted by Dysk at 2:07 PM on October 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by Dysk at 2:07 PM on October 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
What would a sexy Sexy Halloween Costume be?
like this apparently
MetaFlirter?
posted by lalochezia at 2:15 PM on October 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
One of my all-time best Halloween costumes was Sexy Cap'n Crunch.
I hope you got the emblems of rank right. I'd hate to think you were traipsing about in your booty shorts as Sexy Commodore Crunch or Sexy Vice-Admiral Crunch.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:18 PM on October 26, 2021 [13 favorites]
I hope you got the emblems of rank right. I'd hate to think you were traipsing about in your booty shorts as Sexy Commodore Crunch or Sexy Vice-Admiral Crunch.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:18 PM on October 26, 2021 [13 favorites]
Reverse mer-person?
Top half of a full head fish costume, like a pantomime horse. Bottom half naked. Full 1970's porno bush. (okay, fine, a merkin and some tights then)
posted by bartleby at 2:28 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Top half of a full head fish costume, like a pantomime horse. Bottom half naked. Full 1970's porno bush. (okay, fine, a merkin and some tights then)
posted by bartleby at 2:28 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
I dressed up as a "sexy" Ripley from Alien one year (it was more of a "pin-up girl Ripley"). I had the Ripley jumpsuit from a previous Halloween, so I found a full-coverage black bra (it may have been a vintage-style swimsuit top) and had the jumpsuit open a bit far. I then did the full pin-up girl makeup and hair and wore vintage-style heels.
I was mostly doing this for the amusement of myself because I thought the whole idea was silly and ridiculous. I don't think most people understood what I was doing. (I think most people just thought I was dressed as Ripley so maybe I didn't sell the whole thing hard enough.)
posted by edencosmic at 2:29 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I was mostly doing this for the amusement of myself because I thought the whole idea was silly and ridiculous. I don't think most people understood what I was doing. (I think most people just thought I was dressed as Ripley so maybe I didn't sell the whole thing hard enough.)
posted by edencosmic at 2:29 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
You could go as a sexy female lobster and squirt people with a spray bottle full of urine.
Lobsters would find it sexy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:08 PM on October 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
Lobsters would find it sexy.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:08 PM on October 26, 2021 [8 favorites]
ricochet biscuit: "Need Sexy Canadian Halloween costumes?
I'm going as Sexy Notwithstanding Clause.
As sexy as possible under the circumstances."
Sexy Canadian Initiative
posted by chavenet at 3:15 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'm going as Sexy Notwithstanding Clause.
As sexy as possible under the circumstances."
Sexy Canadian Initiative
posted by chavenet at 3:15 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Forgive me if this has already been noted in a link (and also forgive me if it hasn't): a few years ago a popular sexy costume was "sexy subway-pizza-eating rat."
posted by sophieblue at 4:50 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by sophieblue at 4:50 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Sexy Existential Dread
I've tried high concept costumes. Accept that people will either (A) be unsure what your costume is or (B) believe that you are not in fact wearing a costume and are merely oddly dressed. There is no (C). Awkward flopsweat must be sexy for somebody.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:55 PM on October 26, 2021
I've tried high concept costumes. Accept that people will either (A) be unsure what your costume is or (B) believe that you are not in fact wearing a costume and are merely oddly dressed. There is no (C). Awkward flopsweat must be sexy for somebody.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:55 PM on October 26, 2021
For years, I have wanted to create a 'Sexy Library' costume, to play on the Sexy Librarian trope. Basically, I'd just dress up as a big clunky bookshelf filled with steamy romance and literotica novels.
Leather bound? ;)
posted by Ignorantsavage at 5:19 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
Leather bound? ;)
posted by Ignorantsavage at 5:19 PM on October 26, 2021 [6 favorites]
Hmmm.
Sexy Guernica?
Sexy Fountain (by R. Mutt)?
Sexy Innocent X (by Bacon)?
Sexy Bear from Annihilation?
Sexy Horse in the Swamp from The Neverending Story?
Sexy Ghost Child from The Eye?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:39 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Sexy Guernica?
Sexy Fountain (by R. Mutt)?
Sexy Innocent X (by Bacon)?
Sexy Bear from Annihilation?
Sexy Horse in the Swamp from The Neverending Story?
Sexy Ghost Child from The Eye?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:39 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
I'm hard-pressed to come up with a painting that is as good for this as Goya's Saturn Devouring. Some just falls right over the edge from the absurd sexification of the unsexy into bad taste and worse, imo, most art referencing real world tragedies like Guernica. But um, sexifying already rapey mythological scenes like Leda and the Swan is also gross. Sexy Van Gogh self-portrait? Sexy OH I HAVE IT. Sexy Damien Hirst's The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living (you know, the shark piece).
posted by spamandkimchi at 6:37 PM on October 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by spamandkimchi at 6:37 PM on October 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
I normally don't do Sexy Anything, but one year I got invited to a corset-themed party on Halloween and the only way I could swing this was to buy a cheaper stretchy corset at Ye Olde Popup Costume Store and the one I got was reversible: bee stripes on one side, ladybug spots on the other. So I went as Sexy Ladybug, unfortunately, wearing the corset along with a long skirt, made myself some wings, had a headband or whatever.
My coworker brought her baby to the party, dressed as a ladybug. Yes, there's a photo of this somewhere in the work archives of me dressed like a baby.
I admit I like the commentary on the Sexy Ear Of Corn and accompanying photo, though.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:19 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
My coworker brought her baby to the party, dressed as a ladybug. Yes, there's a photo of this somewhere in the work archives of me dressed like a baby.
I admit I like the commentary on the Sexy Ear Of Corn and accompanying photo, though.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:19 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
This is how Sexy Saturn Devouring His Son came to be. I was staring at the previous year’s wig, which I had used to create Sexy Dr. Jacoby, and noticed that—due to lack of proper wig care
Sexy Blue Suited Robespierre.
posted by clavdivs at 7:24 PM on October 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
Sexy Blue Suited Robespierre.
posted by clavdivs at 7:24 PM on October 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
From the picture I would have guessed that the Sexy Saturn Devouring His Son costume was some Attack on Titan thing.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 7:27 PM on October 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 7:27 PM on October 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
Sexy Dali clock
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:31 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:31 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
"Sexy Jackson Pollock painting" would be a real challenge
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:31 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:31 PM on October 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
I went as Jean-Paul Sartre to a party my junior year of high school and - despite being French - it was 1000% the opposite of whatever sexy is in the eyes of all of my crushes.
posted by Zargon X at 7:56 PM on October 26, 2021
posted by Zargon X at 7:56 PM on October 26, 2021
Dibs on Sexy [end of WandaVision].
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:25 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:25 PM on October 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Sexy rock and roll
Sexy cola wars
Sexy I can't take it anymore
Sexy we didn't start the fire
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:32 PM on October 26, 2021
Sexy cola wars
Sexy I can't take it anymore
Sexy we didn't start the fire
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:32 PM on October 26, 2021
"Sexy Jackson Pollock painting" would be a real challenge
Nah, that one is easy. A few cans of silly string and yer done.
posted by fimbulvetr at 8:46 PM on October 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
Nah, that one is easy. A few cans of silly string and yer done.
posted by fimbulvetr at 8:46 PM on October 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
"Sexy Library" at some level I want people to pull books off the shelf, which reveals glimpses of my scantily-clad body behind them, but also that is going to be wildly impractical and all the books will fall out because I leaned forward.
posted by RobotHero at 10:21 PM on October 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by RobotHero at 10:21 PM on October 26, 2021 [7 favorites]
"Sexy SQL Injection Attack'); DROP TABLE SexyCostumes; --" and you're done.
posted by away for regrooving at 11:06 PM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
posted by away for regrooving at 11:06 PM on October 26, 2021 [9 favorites]
I showed up as "Sexy Steve Jobs" back when he was still around and I'm glad I did it before Theranos was big in the news because I guess I could now wear the same outfit and leave my hair down and be "Regular Elizabeth Holmes."
posted by potrzebie at 11:26 PM on October 26, 2021 [10 favorites]
posted by potrzebie at 11:26 PM on October 26, 2021 [10 favorites]
I considered Sexy White Supremacy, but quickly realized that’s just a generic skimpy leather Nazi outfit.
posted by panglos at 12:26 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by panglos at 12:26 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Sexy Delaware Wedge
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:58 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:58 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Sexy tardigrade?
Sexy discarded face mask in a discount grocery store parking lot?
Sexy linked list?
posted by Foosnark at 4:31 AM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Sexy discarded face mask in a discount grocery store parking lot?
Sexy linked list?
posted by Foosnark at 4:31 AM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Going with the Twin Peaks theme I might do sexy cup of coffee.
posted by waving at 5:10 AM on October 27, 2021
posted by waving at 5:10 AM on October 27, 2021
Satin bedsheet. Cut eyeholes.
Sexy Ghost!
Much easier than 'Sexy 3pm, on a Tuesday, in late November'.
posted by bartleby at 5:38 AM on October 27, 2021
Sexy Ghost!
Much easier than 'Sexy 3pm, on a Tuesday, in late November'.
posted by bartleby at 5:38 AM on October 27, 2021
Not mine, but this thread reminded me of Sexy Slavoj Žižek.
posted by indexy at 7:41 AM on October 27, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by indexy at 7:41 AM on October 27, 2021 [6 favorites]
Sexy cat box, definitely with stockings, squarish body suit with coyly placed felt turds & peebergs*, and a belt with a sexy sexy plastic scooper.
Thus we dammed the sexy tide forever.
*swathes of felt diahrrea if extra modesty is needed
posted by winesong at 8:33 AM on October 27, 2021 [5 favorites]
Thus we dammed the sexy tide forever.
*swathes of felt diahrrea if extra modesty is needed
posted by winesong at 8:33 AM on October 27, 2021 [5 favorites]
Sexy cat box, definitely with stockings, squarish body suit with coyly placed felt turds & peebergs*, and a belt with a sexy sexy plastic scooper.
Thus we dammed the sexy tide forever.
Considering that 'catbox crunch' is a party favorite (rice crispies type sand or rice crispie treats, with chocolate and tootsie rolls as the poop) or kitty litter cake I think sexy catbox could work.
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:18 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Thus we dammed the sexy tide forever.
Considering that 'catbox crunch' is a party favorite (rice crispies type sand or rice crispie treats, with chocolate and tootsie rolls as the poop) or kitty litter cake I think sexy catbox could work.
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:18 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Thus we dammed the sexy tide forever.
More like damned...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:19 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
More like damned...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:19 AM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Going with the Twin Peaks theme I might do sexy cup of coffee.
A damn fine cup of coffee.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 11:28 AM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
A damn fine cup of coffee.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 11:28 AM on October 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Sexy Rear Admiral Crunch
posted by kirkaracha at 4:00 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by kirkaracha at 4:00 PM on October 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
The sexy cob of corn makes me feel like I'm at a Chuck Tingle convention.
posted by Word_Salad at 5:02 PM on October 27, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by Word_Salad at 5:02 PM on October 27, 2021 [4 favorites]
> Better yet, feed them into one of those new-fangled image generation AIs.
I had a go with neuralblender.com, but with some non-random prompts. If you add the word costume, you get fabric and clothed body parts. If you omit the word costume, you get more abstract fleshy and genital-esque bits.
imgur link with the following
sexy sphynx cat costume
sexy coelacanth costume
sexy pantomime horse costume
sexy leafcutter ant costume
sexy electron microscope costume
sexy international space station costume
sexy jimmy carr costume
sexy Laocoon costume
sexy multifunction printer costume
sexy inanimate object costume
sexy inanimate object (omitted "costume")
sexy Laocoon (omitted "costume")
sexy laminator (omitted "costume")
sexy four bar linkage costume
sexy worm bin costume
sexy venus de milo costume
sexy venus de milo (omitted "costume")
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:02 AM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
I had a go with neuralblender.com, but with some non-random prompts. If you add the word costume, you get fabric and clothed body parts. If you omit the word costume, you get more abstract fleshy and genital-esque bits.
imgur link with the following
sexy sphynx cat costume
sexy coelacanth costume
sexy pantomime horse costume
sexy leafcutter ant costume
sexy electron microscope costume
sexy international space station costume
sexy jimmy carr costume
sexy Laocoon costume
sexy multifunction printer costume
sexy inanimate object costume
sexy inanimate object (omitted "costume")
sexy Laocoon (omitted "costume")
sexy laminator (omitted "costume")
sexy four bar linkage costume
sexy worm bin costume
sexy venus de milo costume
sexy venus de milo (omitted "costume")
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:02 AM on October 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
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posted by Greg_Ace at 11:48 AM on October 26, 2021 [13 favorites]