Good evening, Stockholm!

March 21, 2016 10:34 AM

After a series of national selection processes, all 43 contestants for the 2016 Eurovision Song Contest are set. Two familiar faces (last year's winner, Måns Zelmerlöw, and 2013 host Petra Mede) will guide us through two semis and a Grand Final while hopefully also making sense of a new vote-counting system. Come for the camp, stay for the geopolitical intrigue.

As a reminder, those outside the reach of the European Broadcasting Union can watch all three rounds of the contest live via the Eurovision website. (Last year the event was streamed via the official Eurovision Song Contest YouTube channel, so keep an eye there as well.)

Stories of Interest

-- Australia will compete once again in the 2016 contest, this time without a guaranteed spot in the Grand Final. China has also reportedly expressed interest in competing, but the EBU has denied there are any definitive plans for that (right now, anyway). Perhaps they will take part in the Asian version of the contest being developed by Australia and the EBU?

-- Germany withdrew their initial selection after accusations of homophobia and anti-Semitism.

-- Russia is pissed off about Ukraine's entry; Jamala claims it's not political. The EBU has cleared the song to compete.

-- Sign-language recap of Norway's top ten finalists. (Previously.)

-- Spain's entry is in English and people are mad about it. Spain has previously incorporated English and French lyrics into their entry, but this will be the first time their song will be presented completely in a language other than Spanish. The only entries this year that do not incorporate English lyrics are Austria, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Macedonia.

-- Katia Aveiro, football star Cristiano Ronaldo's sister, launched a campaign to represent Portugal in this year's competition. (Portugal will not make an appearance.)

-- We've got some voting rule changes! Essentially, contestants will now receive points from televoting and the juries separately, instead of having those votes combined before points are awarded. This could potentially meant the death of the dreaded nul points. The 2015 contest saw not one but two countries, Germany and host Austria, finish with a goose egg.

-- Previews of the automatically qualifying entries (the Big Five plus the host country) will now be shown during the Semifinal rounds. These will be pre-recorded clips taken from the previous evening's dress rehearsal, not live performances.

-- Here's a roundup of weird and wonderful songs from the national finals.

-- EBU spokesperson Lynda Woodruff welcomed Eurovision contestants to Stockholm during Melodifestivalen, the Swedish national selection process. It's unclear whether she will take part in the main festivities this May. One can only hope!

-- As of this writing, Russia, Sweden, and Croatia are favored to win the contest. After a surprise win from Austria in 2014, Sweden was the odds-on favorite throughout 2015.

Entry Videos: Semifinal 1 (Tuesday 10 May, 2100 CEST)
Note: France, Spain, and Sweden are automatically qualified for the Grand Final. Their entries will be previewed, and the country will vote, as part of Semifinal 1.

- First Half -
Armenia: "LoveWave," Iveta Mukuchyan
Croatia: "Lighthouse," Nina Kraljić
Finland: "Sing It Away," Sandhja
Greece: "Utopian Land," Argo
Hungary: "Pioneer," Freddie
Moldova: "Falling Stars," Lidia Isac
Netherlands: "Slow Down," Douwe Bob
Russia: "You Are the Only One," Sergey Lazarev
San Marino: "I Didn't Know," Serhat

- Second Half -
Austria: "Loin d'ici," ZOË
Azerbaijan: "Miracle," Samra Rahimli
Bosnia & Herzegovina: "Ljubav Je," Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner and Jala
Cyprus: "Alter Ego," Minus One
Czech Republic: "I Stand," Gabriela Gunčíková
Estonia: "Play," Jüri Pootsmann
Iceland: "Hear Them Calling," Greta Salóme
Malta: "Walk on Water," Ira Losco
Montenegro: "The Real Thing," Highway


Entry Videos: Semifinal 2 (Thursday 12 May, 2100 CEST)
Note: Germany, Italy, and the UK are automatically qualified for the Grand Final. Their entries will be previewed, and the country will vote, as part of Semifinal 2.

- First Half -
Australia: "Sound of Silence," Dami Im
Belarus: "Help You Fly," Ivan
Ireland: "Sunlight," Nicky Byrne
Israel: "Made of Stars," Hovi Star
Latvia: "Heartbeat," Justs
Lithuania: "I've Been Waiting For This Night," Donny Montell
Macedonia (FYR): "Dona," Kaliopi
Poland: "Color of Your Life," Michał Szpak
Serbia: "Goodbye," ZAA
Switzerland: "The Last Of Our Kind," Rykka

- Second Half -
Albania: "Fairytale," Eneda Tarifa
Belgium: "What's The Pressure," Laura Tesoro
Bulgaria: "If Love Was A Crime," Poli Genova
Denmark: "Soldiers of Love," Lighthouse X
Georgia: "Midnight Gold," Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz
Norway: "Icebreaker," Agnete
Romania: "Moment of Silence," Ovidiu Anton
Slovenia: "Blue and Red," ManuElla
Ukraine: "1944," Jamala


Entry Videos: Grand Final (Saturday 14 May, 2100 CEST)

France: "J'ai cherché," Amir
Germany: "Ghost," Jamie-Lee Kriewitz
Italy: "Nessun Grado Di Separazione," Francesca Michielin
Spain: "Say Yay," Barei
Sweden: "If I Were Sorry," Frans
United Kingdom: "You're Not Alone," Joe & Jake

posted by zebra (52 comments total)

Woo-hoo! Let the race begin.

Although personally, I feel that this year's run of Eurovision isn't going to have many great failures (2009 Czech Republic) or deviations from the standard schlager (2013 Macedonia) or sexiness (2014 Poland) or groundbreaking acts (2014 Austria). I'm not sensing much of a "wow" factor in this year's competition.
posted by Roentgen at 10:39 AM on March 21, 2016

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY

CAN WE START NAO

WHAT ABOUT NAO

HOW ABOUT NAO

NAO
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:49 AM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

The Ireland entry sounds like it was created by a pop song generating Twitterbot and the UK entry sounds like A Script Song.
posted by billiebee at 10:51 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

My deepest appreciation for gathering all of this info. I am excite!
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 10:52 AM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

Like previous years - vote for your neighbour despite how bad song is.
posted by korpe4r at 10:54 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

OMG, Germany's entry is finally as finally as fabulous as it should be. Look at her, she is clearly wearing the corpses of her enemies on her head.
posted by Blasdelb at 11:01 AM on March 21, 2016

It's really gone safe in the last few years - qualifying from the semis has weeded out a lot of wonderful & weird. I was slightly bored by Melodifestivalen this year and I'm slightly bored by most of the national entries. I do like Latvia - their song is penned by Aminata who performed for them last year & who was stunning.
posted by kariebookish at 11:01 AM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best Eurovision post ever.
posted by putzface_dickman at 11:06 AM on March 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

The Dutch entry sounds like three country songs unconvincingly glued together. With any luck, my people won't survive the first round, leaving us free and unfettered for the final. Which is how it should be, and how it usually is.

Really, guys? Country again? Do we have some rich Dutch Country music tradition we're tapping into? No? Have we done well with it any of the other times we tried it? No? Then what are we doing, here?
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:08 AM on March 21, 2016 [9 favorites]

Like previous years - vote for your neighbour despite how bad song is

Equally valid is to not vote for your neighbour despite how good the song is because your neighbour has wronged you in some fashion. Better yet, vote for the country your neighbour really hates. Go Germany!
posted by billiebee at 11:08 AM on March 21, 2016

Best Eurovision post ever.

Seconded; this is a really good post. Thanks, zebra.
posted by Wordshore at 11:10 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Really, guys? Country again? Do we have some rich Dutch Country music tradition we're tapping into? No? Have we done well with it any of the other times we tried it? No? Then what are we doing, here?

Capt Renault, your lot finished 2nd in 2014 with a country song. Maybe that's why.
posted by kariebookish at 11:14 AM on March 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

Maybe that's why.

Oh yeah. Huh.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:15 AM on March 21, 2016

Wait if Australia and China can compete why no USA?
posted by sammyo at 11:21 AM on March 21, 2016

I've listened to just 3 songs and I'm predicting Croatia because "I will find your lighthouse" is exactly the sort of lyric we all want and expect.
posted by AFII at 11:21 AM on March 21, 2016

I'm going to finally give Eurovision the attention it deserves from me this year (and not just because it will keep me out of US election threads), so I hope everyone will be really patient as I try to figure out the rules and and details and stuff. (I'll try to find my answers through Google, but you are all my next line of attack from being an American Idiot.) Thank you so much for the advance help, zebra.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:22 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

It's really gone safe in the last few years - qualifying from the semis has weeded out a lot of wonderful & weird

Totally. From the "weird and wonderful" link above, the potential Swiss entry - Kaceo, Disque D’Or - brought a tear to my eye as I imagined the late great Terry Wogan commenting on it. If Eurovision isn't about a man thrusting on stage wearing an inflatable unicorn then frankly what even is it about?
posted by billiebee at 11:25 AM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Sweden will win it again and next year they'll send a couple of priests.
posted by Webbster at 11:30 AM on March 21, 2016 [5 favorites]

Wait if Australia and China can compete why no USA?

...something something... already have a ridiculous, loud, televised spectacle... something something... cheap political points and stupid hair... help me out here
posted by billiebee at 11:32 AM on March 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

The Russian entry is a very short odds favorite (2/1 in a field of over 40 entries). After first listen, it does sound pure Eurovision (uplifting pop, arty-dramatic video); the voting block for Russia will help to, as will a possible Scandinavian-winning-fatigue.
posted by Wordshore at 11:33 AM on March 21, 2016

Wait if Australia and China can compete why no USA?

I'd like to see the USA enter in too. With a bit of tinkering to the format of the Superbowl, inserting Eurovision as the halftime performance would be interesting and possibly add something to both events.

awaits comment-replies of outrage, sacrilege
posted by Wordshore at 11:35 AM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

I am ambivalent-trending-negative on the US joining Eurovision, but I am 100% for setting up our own contest where each state sends a representative. If we did join, the winner of that could be our entry, but even if not, it would be an awesome spectacle.
posted by Copronymus at 11:42 AM on March 21, 2016 [12 favorites]

Last year the event was streamed via the official Eurovision Song Contest YouTube channel, so keep an eye there as well.)

Wait, was it LIVE streamed on YouTube? I have been trying to find a way to watch it on my TV instead of my computer and that might be it.

Previously I've tried using Chromecast to send the main Eurovision website stream to my TV, but it didn't work well at all. This year I've been researching that there may be ways to trick a Roku or Apple TV into thinking I'm in the UK, to get the BBC IPlayer app onto the devices.

But if it's live streamed on YouTube, then that could solve the issue. (I'd miss Graham Norton's wit, but then I've generally watched on the regular no-commentary site anyway. It would just be more fun to have it if I can convince friends to come over.)
posted by dnash at 11:43 AM on March 21, 2016

I kept a personal list of "weird and wonderful" songs for this year's Eurovision - mostly wonderful- and I'm surprised at how little overlap there is between my list and the above link.

From Finland:
Mikael Saari - On It Goes

From Lithuania:
Aiste Pilvelyte - You Bet

From Norway:
Laila Samuels - Afterglow

From Georgia:
Young Georgian Lolitaz - Sugar and Milk

From Iceland:
Sigga Eyrun - Kreisi

From Estonia:
Go Away Bird - Sally

From Romania:
Vanotek feat. The Code & Georgian - I’m Coming Home

From Poland:
Margaret - Cool Me Down

From Albania:
Kristi Popa - Ajo çfarë ndjej

From the UK:
Darline - Until Tomorrow

And here's two non-english performances of performing songs before they were translated:

Albania (Perrale)

Iceland (Raddirnar)
posted by LSK at 11:46 AM on March 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

The US prefers to only compete in world championships where all of the contestants come from inside the US, and occasionally Canada.
posted by ckape at 11:47 AM on March 21, 2016

MCMikeNamara: I hope everyone will be really patient as I try to figure out the rules and and details and stuff.

I am 100% serious when I say you are welcome to contact me anytime with questions. I love any opportunity to talk about Eurovision.

dnash: Wait, was it LIVE streamed on YouTube?

Yes, it was live-streamed via YouTube, for the first time ever. (In previous years they used that awful Octoshape plugin.) I watched it via a web browser, so am unsure whether it was available via the Roku / AppleTV apps. Some things that are live-streamed on YouTube can't be accessed that way. I'm not sure if it's a region restriction or something else.
posted by zebra at 11:53 AM on March 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

🎼 IT'S THE MOOOOOOOST WONDERFUUUUUUUULLLLLLL TIIIIIME OF THE YEEEAAAAAAAAR! 🎶
posted by EvaDestruction at 11:54 AM on March 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

Spain's entry is in English and people are mad about it.

One random at the RAE. Generally speaking we don't really care about the contest (see: our contestant in 2008)
posted by sukeban at 11:55 AM on March 21, 2016

I watched it via a web browser, so am unsure whether it was available via the Roku / AppleTV apps. Some things that are live-streamed on YouTube can't be accessed that way. I'm not sure if it's a region restriction or something else.

Thanks for the tip, zebra! And thanks for this awesome post!
posted by dnash at 11:57 AM on March 21, 2016

Then again, the only time I voted for Eurovision, I voted Lordi.
posted by sukeban at 11:57 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Then again, the only time I voted for Eurovision, I voted Lordi.

Their performance at the following year's Eurovision remains the benchmark for HOW TO EPICALLY OPEN AN EVENT.
posted by Wordshore at 12:02 PM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

If somebody spliced that Lordi opening together with Game of Thrones footage I wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
posted by needled at 12:11 PM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

When I saw the Eurovision finale that featured Lordi, I think I lost a couple of million brain cells due to asphyxiation. I was dying laughing. Then the they won. Which was an amazing triumph for the collective ironic generation of Europe.
posted by Rabarberofficer at 12:34 PM on March 21, 2016

YAYYYYYYY EUROVISION

I remembered today that I wanted to buy tickets to actually go this year because as an Australian, the pilgrimage to an actual Eurovision is one of those things that must. be. done.

Sadly when I checked today I found that tickets sold-out in a typical 'lol, we couldn't possibly predict demand on our database server' incident in November.

I must plan ahead more.
posted by sektah at 12:36 PM on March 21, 2016

Also, Australia's entry this year is Adele-riffic, but definitely in line with the Eurovision ballad aesthetic. I can already see the camera zooming out from floor level, picture the arms being lifted up in the chorus, the fans blowing 2-metre-tall-fabric up from the floor in the background, the slow-motion doves projected onto a giant screen, and (if we're lucky) Mr. Interpretive Dance doing a confusing-but-leave-him-alone-he's-harmless routine around the stage.
posted by sektah at 12:41 PM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

I can't believe Boris Duncan Smith wants to vote us out of the Eurovision Union. He claims a "Brexit" will allow us to sing at other nations again, but I've heard his singing voice and it's bloody awful.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:03 PM on March 21, 2016 [5 favorites]

Yes, it was live-streamed via YouTube, for the first time ever. (In previous years they used that awful Octoshape plugin.) I watched it via a web browser, so am unsure whether it was available via the Roku / AppleTV apps.

It worked fine on Roku!
posted by JanetLand at 1:38 PM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

It worked fine on Roku!

Awesome, thank you! Actually I don't have a Roku or Apple TV currently, but I have YouTube apps on my Tivo and on my actual "smart TV." So it should work and this makes me super super happy! My long dreamed of Eurovision party may finally happen - (Hopefully my friends won't disown me because of it!)

Hopefully this isn't derailing too much but - can I ask how the video quality was last year with YouTube? I watched on the site with the Octoshape thing years ago and it was always pretty mediocre.
posted by dnash at 1:53 PM on March 21, 2016

OMG, Germany's entry is finally as finally as fabulous as it should be.

I'm a bit surprised to learn about the selection thing, since I've been giggling over those very german power-metallers channeling meatloaf and their get out the vote campaign (and a million german youtuber commenters arguing that it's the best song ever written), and that that peak-kitch thing that is "gregorian" since the finals, but had totally missed that the final was a last-minute thing.

(unfortunately, they seem to have pulled the actual performance videos, so apologies for the boring clips)

:::

In related news, Swedish songwriters had at least 26 entries in non-Swedish national competitions. Haven't seen a final tally, but odds are that "If I were sorry" isn't the only song written by a Swedish songwriter in the finals.
posted by effbot at 2:02 PM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Exciting times! My wedding is the 12th of May so t'soon to be husband and I will be watching semi round 2 from our hotel room while drinking our 'just married' fizz. Can't wait. (Sadly, due to venue related shenanigans, we'll be having our wedding party during the final, so fingers crossed for good reception so we can keep an eye on it.)
posted by halcyonday at 2:04 PM on March 21, 2016

My favorite - she won't win but atleast she'l be in the final.
posted by korpe4r at 2:07 PM on March 21, 2016

can I ask how the video quality was last year with YouTube? I watched on the site with the Octoshape thing years ago and it was always pretty mediocre.

It was REALLY GOOD on YouTube. If you watch a few of the live videos from last year's Grand Final, the quality you see there is basically what was happening live.

Also, for those who are interested, the official Eurovision account has created the playlists for Semifinal 1 and Semifinal 2. I would have waited and included them in the original post, but was tired of waiting for the last couple of entries to get their videos up.
posted by zebra at 2:10 PM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Once again I question why some enterprising cable channel (TBS, CW, you know the ones, hell even Netflix or Amazon) doesn't have a Eurovision special.

For that matter, why do I not have a cable channel that features weird European shows?
It could go in the lineup right next to the channel that shows all Japanese game shows, all the time.
posted by madajb at 2:26 PM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Speaking of watching the live shows, it looks like it might be possible for someone to post them to fanfare and have a discussion in real time!1! I usually watch the final while following it on Twitter but it would be so much fun to do it here. I know there are experts here (zebra, flagged as fantastic post) so maybe someone would want to take up cortex's suggestion to get in touch about it? *crosses fingers*
posted by billiebee at 2:26 PM on March 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

I really like Finland's song this year. I'm always thankful when there are half-decent pop songs in the contest. Also, the back-up singers seem like they came up with their dance moves five minutes before they went on stage, and I'm always susceptible to a bit of ramshackle charm.
posted by Kattullus at 4:29 PM on March 21, 2016

It was REALLY GOOD on YouTube. If you watch a few of the live videos from last year's Grand Final, the quality you see there is basically what was happening live.

YAAAS! Thank you. I just got home and I'm currently test watching the full 5-hour video which I assume is the archived stream from last year, and it's working great on my TV!

I'm so stupid excited, this means I get to have the Eurovision watching party I've wanted to for a few years! Now I just have to convince all my Eurovision-ignorant friends that this is something they WANT to do!
posted by dnash at 4:35 PM on March 21, 2016

Now I just have to convince all my Eurovision-ignorant friends that this is something they WANT to do!

Remind me when the time gets close and I'll share this year's bingo / drinking game with you. (I haven't made it yet, waiting to see more of the final performance details before I decide what to put on there.)
posted by zebra at 4:54 PM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]

We just spent the past six weeks watching Melodiefestvalen, and other national finals.

Now to hit up IKEA for the fixings for our annual Eurovision party!

It's an honor and a privilege to be a Eurovision geek.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:55 PM on March 21, 2016

Unfortunately due to wacky and weird work schedules Mr. Gravy and I always end up watching the semifinals and the final over two weekends, too late to join in on any live discussion. But in past years I've always enjoyed reading your snarky posts after the fact and consider that a big part of my annual Eurovision Blowout Frenzy.

Many thanks Zebra for an outstanding FPP but boo hoo for making it so early: 7 weeks and one day to go before the first semi-final!!!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:48 PM on March 21, 2016

I'm going to be off my noodle on painkillers the next few days so thank you for the perfect hallucinatory accompaniments!
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:30 PM on March 21, 2016

The San Marino video is giving me an error (this may be a mercy depending on how badly you want to hear Turkish Leonard Cohen doing a disco song right out of 1978). Here's a link that should work.
posted by Copronymus at 11:41 AM on March 23, 2016

Not sure if anybody's still paying attention, but the running order for the semifinals has finally been released.
posted by zebra at 11:17 AM on April 8, 2016 [3 favorites]