Jump right into the scary parts
October 30, 2016 1:24 PM Subscribe
me: *sends screencap of article to bb* I'm bout to do it lol
bb: lol nope
me, 37 seconds later: I'M ONLY :37 INTO THE FIRST ONE AND ALREADY TOO POOKED
posted by FirstMateKate at 1:56 PM on October 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
bb: lol nope
me, 37 seconds later: I'M ONLY :37 INTO THE FIRST ONE AND ALREADY TOO POOKED
posted by FirstMateKate at 1:56 PM on October 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Oh, thanks! I've been trying to remember the title of "Lights Out" for a coupla months.
That one's... effective.
posted by allthinky at 2:20 PM on October 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
That one's... effective.
posted by allthinky at 2:20 PM on October 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Please fill out the following form:
___ is the number of gratuitous jump cut scares in these shorts.
posted by Splunge at 2:30 PM on October 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
___ is the number of gratuitous jump cut scares in these shorts.
posted by Splunge at 2:30 PM on October 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
I watched Lights Out and now I'm too scared to watch any others.
posted by moons in june at 2:42 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by moons in june at 2:42 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
what counts as 'gratuitous' ? More than 1 per short? or more than 1 per minute?
posted by garlic at 3:27 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by garlic at 3:27 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
How Wings Are Attached to the Backs of Angels, a fabulous little black-and-white surrealist animated short from the National Film Board of Canada.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 4:36 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by escape from the potato planet at 4:36 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also the most terrifying horror shorts you can avoid watching online.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:36 PM on October 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:36 PM on October 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
This may be an odd thing to say about a movie that lasts a minute and a half, but Bedfellows goes on at least ten seconds too long.
posted by languagehat at 4:51 PM on October 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by languagehat at 4:51 PM on October 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've watched a number of rubbish horror films today. Insidious? Yawn.
I turned on I no longer remember what, some gloomy film that reminded me that I will someday be old, then sick, then dead. I was starting to find that prospect appealing compared to watching the movie (really, no kidding) when the dinner bell rang and I went downstairs to find my hale and hearty mother dishing out corn on the cob while the radio played Amazing Grace. I felt like this was by way of a message from above (also no kidding) so I decided to switch to something more good-humored. Sadly, in choosing between The Addams Family and Scary Movie, I chose the one I hadn't seen before.
So I was pleased to find this list, even though it's now past my bedtime. I already saw Lights Out and it completely succeeded in restoring my fear of the dark, which I had almost outgrown by my mid-forties. Thanks, Lights Out.
So of course it was sure to be a good idea to watch the second one, right? I have my cat here to protect me. There is no way this could go wrong.
...kitty?
[FRANTICALLY RUNS ROUND TURNING ON EVERY LIGHT IN THE HOUSE]
[FRANTICALLY TURNS ON EVERY TV, RADIO, COMPUTER AND MOBILE DEVICE IN THE HOUSE TO FULL BLAST WHOLESOME MEDIA]
[TURNS THE SCARY VIDEO OFF AND SCRUBS BROWSER HISTORY FOREVER FOR ALL TIME]
this is not funny. i need to get something out of a drawer but the drawer is underneath a mirror and i daren't look
posted by tel3path at 5:27 PM on October 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I turned on I no longer remember what, some gloomy film that reminded me that I will someday be old, then sick, then dead. I was starting to find that prospect appealing compared to watching the movie (really, no kidding) when the dinner bell rang and I went downstairs to find my hale and hearty mother dishing out corn on the cob while the radio played Amazing Grace. I felt like this was by way of a message from above (also no kidding) so I decided to switch to something more good-humored. Sadly, in choosing between The Addams Family and Scary Movie, I chose the one I hadn't seen before.
So I was pleased to find this list, even though it's now past my bedtime. I already saw Lights Out and it completely succeeded in restoring my fear of the dark, which I had almost outgrown by my mid-forties. Thanks, Lights Out.
So of course it was sure to be a good idea to watch the second one, right? I have my cat here to protect me. There is no way this could go wrong.
...kitty?
[FRANTICALLY RUNS ROUND TURNING ON EVERY LIGHT IN THE HOUSE]
[FRANTICALLY TURNS ON EVERY TV, RADIO, COMPUTER AND MOBILE DEVICE IN THE HOUSE TO FULL BLAST WHOLESOME MEDIA]
[TURNS THE SCARY VIDEO OFF AND SCRUBS BROWSER HISTORY FOREVER FOR ALL TIME]
this is not funny. i need to get something out of a drawer but the drawer is underneath a mirror and i daren't look
posted by tel3path at 5:27 PM on October 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
This may be an odd thing to say about a movie that lasts a minute and a half, but Bedfellows goes on at least ten seconds too long.
You're not wrong.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:29 PM on October 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
You're not wrong.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:29 PM on October 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Sorry but the Bedfellows one was hilarious.
posted by a strong female character at 6:26 PM on October 30, 2016
posted by a strong female character at 6:26 PM on October 30, 2016
Yeah, Imma have to wait 'til morning for this. Ain't no way in HELL I'm watching these things before bed. Much love.
posted by Mooski at 7:20 PM on October 30, 2016
posted by Mooski at 7:20 PM on October 30, 2016
Seconding the request for info about jump scares/pop ups. (See the above form).
I HATE being startled, but I miss the thrill of being edge-of-my-seat scared by a story—so disappointed by what's become of the genre. Vampires? Zombies? Poltergeists? Give me a break. I'm not afraid of things that don't exist. And over-the-top violence and gore isn't scary, it's just gross.
posted by she's not there at 7:58 PM on October 30, 2016
I HATE being startled, but I miss the thrill of being edge-of-my-seat scared by a story—so disappointed by what's become of the genre. Vampires? Zombies? Poltergeists? Give me a break. I'm not afraid of things that don't exist. And over-the-top violence and gore isn't scary, it's just gross.
posted by she's not there at 7:58 PM on October 30, 2016
Bedfellows goes on at least ten seconds too long
Yup. It has that same didactic issue as a lot of other contemporary horror. Don't show me the scary monster; let me stew over whether it's there or not.
Way creepier to leave it where she doesn't know if it's the monster in bed with her, or some unknown husband impersonator/recording trying to get into the house.
posted by aspersioncast at 8:15 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yup. It has that same didactic issue as a lot of other contemporary horror. Don't show me the scary monster; let me stew over whether it's there or not.
Way creepier to leave it where she doesn't know if it's the monster in bed with her, or some unknown husband impersonator/recording trying to get into the house.
posted by aspersioncast at 8:15 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Don't show me the scary monster; let me stew over whether it's there or not.
Hah, wait until 3am when you just woke up for some unknown reason and are trying to get back to sleep and the image of that monster pops into your head.
Most of these (besides Bedfellows, which I saw several years ago and don't want to see again because of the above) didn't do much for me. Except for the The Smiling Man. Holy moly that was unnerving. Speaking of showing the monster, I'm incredibly impressed that it managed to get even scarier after the monster was revealed.
posted by treepour at 8:57 PM on October 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Hah, wait until 3am when you just woke up for some unknown reason and are trying to get back to sleep and the image of that monster pops into your head.
Most of these (besides Bedfellows, which I saw several years ago and don't want to see again because of the above) didn't do much for me. Except for the The Smiling Man. Holy moly that was unnerving. Speaking of showing the monster, I'm incredibly impressed that it managed to get even scarier after the monster was revealed.
posted by treepour at 8:57 PM on October 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I watched them all, and while some were better than others, it was fun and kind of creepy overall. But then I turned around to go to bed and there was the cat, sitting behind me on the table. Just watching me motionless and in total silence.
Thanks.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 9:19 PM on October 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Thanks.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 9:19 PM on October 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
David S. Pumpkins wears horror shorts.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 11:24 PM on October 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 11:24 PM on October 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Really liked Autumn Harvest (17min)
posted by mannequito at 12:53 AM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by mannequito at 12:53 AM on October 31, 2016 [2 favorites]
If these are too scary, you might enjoy this video I just stumbled across: DEAD HEARTS, an utterly charming Canadian short film featuring true love, zombies, werewolves, kung fu, and taxidermy, which is more like "Harold and Maude" meets "Mary and Max."
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:48 AM on October 31, 2016
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:48 AM on October 31, 2016
P.S. I have now watched a lot of these short films and I expect to get a lot of work done tonight because I'm sure not going to be able to sleep.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:50 AM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:50 AM on October 31, 2016 [1 favorite]
Nothing scares me anymore. Nothing. Last night I watched Starry Eyes immediately before bed and slept like a log.
This isn't a brag. I'm actually quite pissed about it. Building up a tolerance to horror movies sucks.
posted by holborne at 11:55 AM on October 31, 2016
This isn't a brag. I'm actually quite pissed about it. Building up a tolerance to horror movies sucks.
posted by holborne at 11:55 AM on October 31, 2016
Yes, holy shit, The Smiling Man. It went on for about a minute longer than I thought it would and just got more and more horrifying. The other one, 2 am: Smiling Man was also pretty creepy, if predictable. (I think I'm just freaked out by inexplicably grinning people. I've had nightmares of people getting right in my face with a huge grin.)
I wasn't impressed by The Maiden if only because the realtor was so inexplicably dumb. RUN, GIRL, RUN.
posted by Aquifer at 1:07 PM on October 31, 2016
I wasn't impressed by The Maiden if only because the realtor was so inexplicably dumb. RUN, GIRL, RUN.
posted by Aquifer at 1:07 PM on October 31, 2016
For those who, like me, were looking for the one with the picture on the wall, here you go.
posted by XtinaS at 2:52 PM on October 31, 2016
posted by XtinaS at 2:52 PM on October 31, 2016
"Autumn Harvest" was really well done, mannequito.
posted by doctornemo at 5:28 PM on October 31, 2016
posted by doctornemo at 5:28 PM on October 31, 2016
Mama scared me the most, those unnatural movements!!!
posted by Pendragon at 2:11 PM on November 1, 2016
posted by Pendragon at 2:11 PM on November 1, 2016
The thing about "Bedfellows" is that it's almost more of a horror comedy. The monster stares directly at you for a significant fraction of the entire film, grinning widely and darting eager "tee hee" glances up to the side. It invites you in on the "joke," makes you complicit in knowing a monster is there and wanting her to discover this and be terrified/mauled/whatever. It's metacommentary on horror while also being a damned creepy idea.
Mind you, I still think it went on a bit too long; I think it should have just cut out abruptly right before she pulls the covers off and not gone for the loud noise/flashing lights jump-scare. But eh, can't win 'em all.
posted by Scattercat at 10:07 PM on November 1, 2016
Mind you, I still think it went on a bit too long; I think it should have just cut out abruptly right before she pulls the covers off and not gone for the loud noise/flashing lights jump-scare. But eh, can't win 'em all.
posted by Scattercat at 10:07 PM on November 1, 2016
I just woke up and it's still dark out. Been reading Metafilter, in bed and with no light's on. I just watched Light's Out. What was I thinking? It's been a long time since a horror film has really scared me like with the type of scared I am now. I need to get up, go to the bathroom, go downstairs and get coffee. In order to do that I have to exit my room and turn left into a long dark hallway. It's a 150 year old house and the light switches are in weird places. This means having to walk about halfway down in the hall to turn on the light. Even with the lights on in my room the hallway is still dark.
That short has put me in such a scaredy cat state that the thought of having to walk out my door and turn to look down the hallway is terrifying. I'm imagining that thing standing at the end of it.
Good job film short!
And thanks for the post.
posted by Jalliah at 5:00 AM on November 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
That short has put me in such a scaredy cat state that the thought of having to walk out my door and turn to look down the hallway is terrifying. I'm imagining that thing standing at the end of it.
Good job film short!
And thanks for the post.
posted by Jalliah at 5:00 AM on November 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
I've seen Lights Out (one quiet jump cut) before but it's still really effective, The Maiden (not really any) started out looking so promising, but come on. "Gee whiz that was scary, maybe I shou— eh, forget it. Hey, where'd that come from? Guess I'll tidy it u— Wow! Boy that's put a dampener on my day. Oh well, got that meeting coming up." It's practically a WKUK sketch.
posted by lucidium at 9:00 AM on November 2, 2016
posted by lucidium at 9:00 AM on November 2, 2016
the thing that's creepy about the maiden is how dedicated the real estate agent is. like, yep, I deal with this sort of bullshit at every (literally) god-damned house I sell, erasing the ghosts from the pictures, scrubbing off the demon summoning circles, and I keep doing this bullshit because the rest of the real world is so fucking terrible, it's the only choice I have.
posted by garlic at 7:38 AM on November 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by garlic at 7:38 AM on November 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's brilliant, like she's at most mildly annoyed by it all.
Watched a couple more of the shorter ones.
3:07 has one really naff jump scare in the third short, and one really good one in the fourth.
MAMA has an orchestra hit but no cut (we should have a jump scare classification scheme).
The Smiling Man has one just before two minutes in, and a pretty clever payoff.
The second smiling man, which I think I remember reading as a creepypasta, has a couple pretty minor ones but also one of my pet peeves — horror film protagonists who spend irrationally long periods with their eyes closed in relief or head down catching their breath after running from the scary thing in order to give some justification for the jump scare.
posted by lucidium at 2:58 PM on November 3, 2016
Watched a couple more of the shorter ones.
3:07 has one really naff jump scare in the third short, and one really good one in the fourth.
MAMA has an orchestra hit but no cut (we should have a jump scare classification scheme).
The Smiling Man has one just before two minutes in, and a pretty clever payoff.
The second smiling man, which I think I remember reading as a creepypasta, has a couple pretty minor ones but also one of my pet peeves — horror film protagonists who spend irrationally long periods with their eyes closed in relief or head down catching their breath after running from the scary thing in order to give some justification for the jump scare.
posted by lucidium at 2:58 PM on November 3, 2016
I haven't watched the longer ones yet, because I'm reluctant to invest that much time. There have been a couple of raves for Autumn Harvest (17 min.), so I'll probably give it a try, but has anyone watched Guilt (half hour)?
posted by languagehat at 3:05 PM on November 3, 2016
posted by languagehat at 3:05 PM on November 3, 2016
The Cop Cam has a couple minor jumps, but also a main actor with the fantastic name "Billy Necessary", which is like an insult for the useless person you had to drag along to make up the numbers.
The Captured Bird has none, and has some very pretty visuals.
Waterborne has none.
I'm not sure how serious the request for jump scare checks was, but it's actually quite interesting watching these and really paying attention to the editing in a way I normally wouldn't.
posted by lucidium at 3:24 PM on November 3, 2016
The Captured Bird has none, and has some very pretty visuals.
Waterborne has none.
I'm not sure how serious the request for jump scare checks was, but it's actually quite interesting watching these and really paying attention to the editing in a way I normally wouldn't.
posted by lucidium at 3:24 PM on November 3, 2016
Bedfellows has a clearly signposted jump, followed by an absolutely useless jump because they couldn't figure out an ending.
Intruders has none.
Guilt has a couple of minor jumps about ten minutes in, and a kinda Lights Out half way through. It's also the best film on the list by a country mile and probably deserves its own FP.
posted by lucidium at 5:08 PM on November 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Intruders has none.
Guilt has a couple of minor jumps about ten minutes in, and a kinda Lights Out half way through. It's also the best film on the list by a country mile and probably deserves its own FP.
posted by lucidium at 5:08 PM on November 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I watched Guilt. It was not my cup of tea. One of my least favorites. Even the short ones I didn't like were over fast.
posted by garlic at 12:18 PM on November 4, 2016
posted by garlic at 12:18 PM on November 4, 2016
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posted by pt68 at 1:53 PM on October 30, 2016 [1 favorite]