Five Flops in Five Days
August 15, 2020 12:07 PM Subscribe
Last week, Vulture published five in-depth articles about legendary Broadway bombs.
"Within Fifteen Minutes, It Became Unbearable" (Jim Steinman vampire gothic comedy musical: too much? Yes)
A Musical About Joseph McCarthy Financed By a Scam Artist Ex-Con. What Could Go Wrong? (an accidentally overproduced workshop piece with "a musical number in which legendary newsman Edward R. Murrow takes you on a virtual tour of Joe McCarthy’s alcohol-ravaged liver")
A Dud Among Duds (the "titanically bad" Moose Murders)
Donald Trump’s One-Show Career As a Broadway Producer ("When I told him I had to close it, he said, ‘David, what should I do now?’ ... I said, ‘Why don’t you try real estate?’”)
When Superman Briefly Flew on Broadway (with a cameo from Justin McElroy)
(note: paywall after approx 3 visits for non-subscribers to NY Mag publications)
"Within Fifteen Minutes, It Became Unbearable" (Jim Steinman vampire gothic comedy musical: too much? Yes)
A Musical About Joseph McCarthy Financed By a Scam Artist Ex-Con. What Could Go Wrong? (an accidentally overproduced workshop piece with "a musical number in which legendary newsman Edward R. Murrow takes you on a virtual tour of Joe McCarthy’s alcohol-ravaged liver")
A Dud Among Duds (the "titanically bad" Moose Murders)
Donald Trump’s One-Show Career As a Broadway Producer ("When I told him I had to close it, he said, ‘David, what should I do now?’ ... I said, ‘Why don’t you try real estate?’”)
When Superman Briefly Flew on Broadway (with a cameo from Justin McElroy)
(note: paywall after approx 3 visits for non-subscribers to NY Mag publications)
I can't get my head around the idea that someone could have seen Jack Cassidy in a musical by Charles Strouse and Lee Adams for $2. In 1966. Wow.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:01 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:01 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
These were fun to read. If a bit horrifying. I remember hearing about the Steinman musical back during its production and then.... nothing. Now I understand why. I'd heard about Senator Joe before, but the others I had never known about.
Thanks for posting!
posted by hippybear at 2:02 PM on August 15, 2020
Thanks for posting!
posted by hippybear at 2:02 PM on August 15, 2020
No Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark?
posted by filthy light thief at 2:26 PM on August 15, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by filthy light thief at 2:26 PM on August 15, 2020 [7 favorites]
Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark actually ran for a couple of years. It was a flop, but nothing like any of these.
posted by hippybear at 2:38 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 2:38 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Tangentially related: Reading something yesterday about the recent Cats film [abomin/adapt]ation led me down a wormhole that involved a deep dive into the Wikipedia page for Starlight Express.
Not being a musical theater head, and being American, I had only known it as a famous Broadway flop, and a semi-obscure punchline. I was surprised to learn that it was a big success around the world - especially England and Germany, where it has been playing continuously since 1988.
...I want to say something about it making sense that Germans would really like trains, but don't want it to come across as some kind of veiled reference to WWII, so I'll just leave off here...
posted by Anoplura at 2:39 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Not being a musical theater head, and being American, I had only known it as a famous Broadway flop, and a semi-obscure punchline. I was surprised to learn that it was a big success around the world - especially England and Germany, where it has been playing continuously since 1988.
...I want to say something about it making sense that Germans would really like trains, but don't want it to come across as some kind of veiled reference to WWII, so I'll just leave off here...
posted by Anoplura at 2:39 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Musical theatre is an abomination. QFT.
posted by biffa at 2:52 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by biffa at 2:52 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Biffa
boffa
coins in the coffa
You got a tin ear, man? ♫
posted by benzenedream at 3:04 PM on August 15, 2020
boffa
coins in the coffa
You got a tin ear, man? ♫
posted by benzenedream at 3:04 PM on August 15, 2020
Musical theatre is an abomination.
In musical theatre, when emotions are too much for words you sing, and when they are too intense for song you dance. Be advised that I am currently dancing at you.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:42 PM on August 15, 2020 [59 favorites]
In musical theatre, when emotions are too much for words you sing, and when they are too intense for song you dance. Be advised that I am currently dancing at you.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:42 PM on August 15, 2020 [59 favorites]
Yeah, I saw Starlight Express at the theater _built only for Starlight Express_ in Bochum, back in the early 90s. It's apparently still playing! It was probably much more fun in such a theater (it has multilevel tracks built for the skating, etc). And watching in a language I understand but am not fluent in probably made it better (any awkwardness in the lyrics is smoothed over that way).
posted by thefoxgod at 3:54 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by thefoxgod at 3:54 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Please, please read the incredible, buckwild book about Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark if you have not and enjoy this kind of thing.
posted by colorblock sock at 4:08 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by colorblock sock at 4:08 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Needs less Trump.
posted by y2karl at 4:20 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by y2karl at 4:20 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
I know 1/5 Trump can still feel like a lot of Trump, but it's less Trump than basically any other factor of life right now, so be happy with only 1/5 Trump.
posted by hippybear at 4:22 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 4:22 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Musical theatre is an abomination. QFT.
posted by biffa
Hard disagree. There has been a lot of overpriced, over-hyped pablum on Broadway, to be sure. However, every once in a while something transcendent comes along. Fun Home is the most recent example that comes to mind. The off-Broadway Hedwig with the original cast, and the original 1979 production of Sweeney Todd* are others.
*Well before my time. Never saw it live, but had a bunch of CALArts friends who passed around a surprisingly good quality tape.
posted by Anoplura at 4:23 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by biffa
Hard disagree. There has been a lot of overpriced, over-hyped pablum on Broadway, to be sure. However, every once in a while something transcendent comes along. Fun Home is the most recent example that comes to mind. The off-Broadway Hedwig with the original cast, and the original 1979 production of Sweeney Todd* are others.
*Well before my time. Never saw it live, but had a bunch of CALArts friends who passed around a surprisingly good quality tape.
posted by Anoplura at 4:23 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Wow, the Great Performances filming of the 1979 Sweeney Todd was up on YouTube up until just a few months ago (I watched it yet again!) but seems to have been pulled down. That's saddening. It was pretty great, really. I hope more things that I've found on YouTube over the years don't disappear...
posted by hippybear at 4:27 PM on August 15, 2020
posted by hippybear at 4:27 PM on August 15, 2020
Ha! I didn't know it was a Great Performances. That makes sense, given the quality. It was shared to me as if it was some ultra-secret insider thing.
posted by Anoplura at 4:30 PM on August 15, 2020
posted by Anoplura at 4:30 PM on August 15, 2020
Musical theatre is an abomination.
Jesus Christ Superstar tho
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:54 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Jesus Christ Superstar tho
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:54 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Jesus Christ Superstar tho
That's less abomination and more blasphemy.
posted by clawsoon at 5:01 PM on August 15, 2020 [8 favorites]
That's less abomination and more blasphemy.
posted by clawsoon at 5:01 PM on August 15, 2020 [8 favorites]
I can't believe that Trump's involvement in a Broadway production which flopped did not take the form of some "The Producers" type grift.
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 5:09 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 5:09 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
‘Jim Steinman vampire gothic comedy musical’ / we didn’t start the fire 🎶
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:26 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:26 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
That's less abomination and more blasphemy.
Hey, cool it man.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:11 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Hey, cool it man.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:11 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
If you're into this sort of thing, let me suggest:
Second Act Trouble: Behind the Scenes at Broadway's Big Musical Bombs by Steven Suskin
Not Since Carrie: Forty Years of Broadway Musical Flops by Ken Mandelbaum.
Just remember, nobody sets out to produce a bomb. (Okay, except for Bialystock and Bloom. And their English cousins.)
posted by BWA at 8:00 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
Second Act Trouble: Behind the Scenes at Broadway's Big Musical Bombs by Steven Suskin
Not Since Carrie: Forty Years of Broadway Musical Flops by Ken Mandelbaum.
Just remember, nobody sets out to produce a bomb. (Okay, except for Bialystock and Bloom. And their English cousins.)
posted by BWA at 8:00 PM on August 15, 2020 [3 favorites]
In the late 80s my Dad had a radio series, "Tunes The Backers Whistled While Jumping Off The Roof" on BBC Radio 2. The theme was hit songs from flop musicals, with him telling the stories of the productions and playing the susprisingly good songs that came from them. I wonder if they are available online anywhere. It was exactly this sort of thing.
posted by w0mbat at 8:13 PM on August 15, 2020 [14 favorites]
posted by w0mbat at 8:13 PM on August 15, 2020 [14 favorites]
Aw, 12-year-old-me loved Starlight Express when my family and I went to see it in NYC back in the day. I got the cassette tape afterwards and played it ad nauseam, and this was by no means the nerdiest thing about me. Come to think of it, I still might have the program somewhere.
One of my wife's and my Thanksgiving traditions is to watch an old Macy's Day Parade on Youtube, and last year we watched the one from 1987 - and it included a number from Starlight Express! I was delighted; I kind of think my wife was confused and dismayed that I knew all the words.
posted by DingoMutt at 8:15 PM on August 15, 2020 [5 favorites]
One of my wife's and my Thanksgiving traditions is to watch an old Macy's Day Parade on Youtube, and last year we watched the one from 1987 - and it included a number from Starlight Express! I was delighted; I kind of think my wife was confused and dismayed that I knew all the words.
posted by DingoMutt at 8:15 PM on August 15, 2020 [5 favorites]
Honestly, I'd like to see the original Tanz der Vampire sometime; if this number is any indication--very goffik, very Steinman--it would be worth the trip. As for the would-be American version, well, sadly, it seems to have wasted the talents of Rene Auberjonois and Mandy Gonzalez, and I have little sympathy for Michael Crawford regarding the end of his stage career; even in the stills from the article, he looks like your hammy uncle trying to prove that he can still cut a rug at a cousin's wedding reception.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:19 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:19 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
BTW, it's linked in the Vulture piece, but June Gable's Esquire piece on Moose Murders is definitely worth reading.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 8:45 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 8:45 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
I still regret that I missed Dance of the Vampires, which came out at the height of when I was going to see musicals. I just didn’t have a ton of money (I had ways of managing to see shows on the cheap) and narrowly missed a chance at getting free tickets from a Broadway message board.
“My” flops (the ones I made sure not to miss and repeat the DotV experience) were the Boy George musical Taboo, which had a disastrously rewritten book from the UK to the US but a wonderful cast, and Amour, which had horrible special effects problem and did not translate well from the French original. I particularly recommend listening to Taboo’s cast album, it was a thrilling show when they were singing and a dismal mess when they weren’t. Also if you can find video of Boy George performing “Ich bin Kunst”, it was a brilliant performance piece.
posted by graymouser at 9:41 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
“My” flops (the ones I made sure not to miss and repeat the DotV experience) were the Boy George musical Taboo, which had a disastrously rewritten book from the UK to the US but a wonderful cast, and Amour, which had horrible special effects problem and did not translate well from the French original. I particularly recommend listening to Taboo’s cast album, it was a thrilling show when they were singing and a dismal mess when they weren’t. Also if you can find video of Boy George performing “Ich bin Kunst”, it was a brilliant performance piece.
posted by graymouser at 9:41 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Fun! We just watched the delightful Bathtubs Over Broadway last night, somewhat related...
posted by latkes at 10:06 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by latkes at 10:06 PM on August 15, 2020 [2 favorites]
Did anyone see the 2014 Hurt Locker musical? The songs included "Hot Desert Nights!" and "Can't Camouflage Love," and was directed by Kip Buckner, but closed after one night, which is why Hedgewig was able to book the theater.
posted by autopilot at 11:17 PM on August 15, 2020 [7 favorites]
posted by autopilot at 11:17 PM on August 15, 2020 [7 favorites]
autopilot: yeah, that issue of Playbill is brilliant, and perfect for setting up the Broadway Hedwig production. :D
posted by hippybear at 11:29 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 11:29 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
There was also a great BBC Radio 4 series called Fabulous Flops which took just the right degree of good-natured delight in describing doomed shows like these. No sign of it online right now, I'm afraid, but it still has a BBC page here.
posted by Paul Slade at 11:41 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Paul Slade at 11:41 PM on August 15, 2020 [1 favorite]
Did anyone see the 2014 Hurt Locker musical?
Maybe I am gullible, but that sounded totally believable to me.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:31 AM on August 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
There should be a show about the making of Senator Joe. That's one wild story.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:25 AM on August 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:25 AM on August 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
I enjoyed how Senator Joe was so bad, that the author could slip this account in as mere backstory:
"a 1972 bomb called Dude, a by-all-accounts incomprehensible rock musical about heaven and hell so fraught (at one point, its 23-year-old lead was replaced with an 11-year-old boy) that it became the stuff of ’70s-theater Schadenfreude legend; the show “may go down in theatrical history as Broadway’s most monumental disaster,” wrote Patricia Bosworth in the New York Times. "
posted by doctornemo at 8:44 AM on August 16, 2020
"a 1972 bomb called Dude, a by-all-accounts incomprehensible rock musical about heaven and hell so fraught (at one point, its 23-year-old lead was replaced with an 11-year-old boy) that it became the stuff of ’70s-theater Schadenfreude legend; the show “may go down in theatrical history as Broadway’s most monumental disaster,” wrote Patricia Bosworth in the New York Times. "
posted by doctornemo at 8:44 AM on August 16, 2020
Tanz der Vampire is My Musical, to the point I've seen it in six countries (missed Russia, dammit) *mumble* times. The Broadway flop was a tragic coincidence between Steve Barton's illness and death versus Polanski (ugh) being wanted in the US, meaning there was no-one to ride herd on Michael Crawford's star power and love of slapstick.
Done properly, it's a perfect combo of pure Gothic id and very dark humour, with the best ironic ending to boy meets girl. One of my favourite points is the inn servant having a nervous breakdown in act one over her molester being dead, which... really resonates with Polanski as producer, especially since many productions give her a Sharon Tate blonde look, changing up Sarah (the actual role Sharon played in the movie) to dark curly hair. It's problematic all over, but at the same time calls itself out in meta layers. It doesn't hurt that all my favourite musical baritones find the lead a dream role.
(Also capes. Warsaw and Tokyo had the best capes. Crawford's was a travesty.)
posted by I claim sanctuary at 11:48 AM on August 16, 2020 [4 favorites]
Done properly, it's a perfect combo of pure Gothic id and very dark humour, with the best ironic ending to boy meets girl. One of my favourite points is the inn servant having a nervous breakdown in act one over her molester being dead, which... really resonates with Polanski as producer, especially since many productions give her a Sharon Tate blonde look, changing up Sarah (the actual role Sharon played in the movie) to dark curly hair. It's problematic all over, but at the same time calls itself out in meta layers. It doesn't hurt that all my favourite musical baritones find the lead a dream role.
(Also capes. Warsaw and Tokyo had the best capes. Crawford's was a travesty.)
posted by I claim sanctuary at 11:48 AM on August 16, 2020 [4 favorites]
Holy crap, that fake Playbill:
Productions include Container Store: The Musical, SoulCycle on Broadway, Streep No More and the "London Massive Smash" British Couples Being Serious in Sweaters.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:40 PM on August 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
Productions include Container Store: The Musical, SoulCycle on Broadway, Streep No More and the "London Massive Smash" British Couples Being Serious in Sweaters.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:40 PM on August 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
and the "London Massive Smash" British Couples Being Serious in Sweaters.
But wouldn't the Brits call them jumpers? I mean, like really?
posted by hippybear at 2:37 PM on August 16, 2020
But wouldn't the Brits call them jumpers? I mean, like really?
posted by hippybear at 2:37 PM on August 16, 2020
If you want to see The Containers Store: The Musical, perhaps you would enjoy HEMA de musical as well. It's a 2013 musical set in the Netherlands department store, HEMA, and billed itself as "the worst musical ever". The trailer and finale number don't require much Dutch to understand if you're versed in musical theater tropes.
posted by autopilot at 2:55 PM on August 16, 2020
posted by autopilot at 2:55 PM on August 16, 2020
and the "London Massive Smash" British Couples Being Serious in Sweaters.
But wouldn't the Brits call them jumpers? I mean, like really?
Obviously, they renamed and reworked the show to appeal to american audiences. There's now a whole "ugly christmas sweater" routine at the end of act 1.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 3:00 PM on August 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
But wouldn't the Brits call them jumpers? I mean, like really?
Obviously, they renamed and reworked the show to appeal to american audiences. There's now a whole "ugly christmas sweater" routine at the end of act 1.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 3:00 PM on August 16, 2020 [1 favorite]
I read the Steinman story and was somewhat surprised Andrew Eldritch wasn’t involved somehow (Steinman and Eldritch co-wrote some Sisters of Mercy tunes).
posted by Eikonaut at 1:43 PM on August 17, 2020
posted by Eikonaut at 1:43 PM on August 17, 2020
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posted by benzenedream at 12:15 PM on August 15, 2020 [5 favorites]