Goofus reads Reddit. Gallant reads MetaFilter
July 3, 2023 8:18 AM Subscribe
What eight decades of Goofus and Gallant illustrate about society’s changing expectations of children (SLAtlantic, archive)
Has anyone else heard Gallant in this context pronounced with an accent on the second syllable instead of the first?
posted by leotrotsky at 8:31 AM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 8:31 AM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
Goofus makes things harder for his website’s volunteer mods because he wants to get rich on an IPO.
Gallant pays his mods a living wage because it’s not all about money, it’s about the community.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:34 AM on July 3, 2023 [92 favorites]
Gallant pays his mods a living wage because it’s not all about money, it’s about the community.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:34 AM on July 3, 2023 [92 favorites]
leotrostky: We always pronounced it with the accent on the second syllable in my house growing up. It sounds weird hearing it with the accent on the first syllable to me, and I probably haven’t even thought about G&G in well over 20 years.
posted by KGMoney at 8:41 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by KGMoney at 8:41 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
It's freaking me out that 1948 Goofus and Gallant look almost exactly like Beavis and Butt-Head. I don't have anything insightful to say. It's just freaking me out. That's all.
posted by The Bellman at 8:48 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by The Bellman at 8:48 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
> Goofus reads Reddit. Gallant reads MetaFilter
Like most real people, I do not fit neatly into the dichotomies of the cartoon world, so I am a redditor MeFite.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 8:48 AM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
Like most real people, I do not fit neatly into the dichotomies of the cartoon world, so I am a redditor MeFite.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 8:48 AM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
I see they have adopted Solzhenitsyn's wisdom about the line between good and evil running through each of our hearts.
Which I suppose leads to the obvious alliterative sequel, Goofus and Gallant in the Gulag.
posted by clawsoon at 8:50 AM on July 3, 2023 [13 favorites]
Which I suppose leads to the obvious alliterative sequel, Goofus and Gallant in the Gulag.
posted by clawsoon at 8:50 AM on July 3, 2023 [13 favorites]
I like that they've moved towards making it clear that Goofus is not a bad kid, he just sometimes makes suboptimal choices; I too make a lot of suboptimal choices, solidarity with Goofus.
posted by an octopus IRL at 8:50 AM on July 3, 2023 [21 favorites]
posted by an octopus IRL at 8:50 AM on July 3, 2023 [21 favorites]
My mother routinely called me Goofus when I was little. I just found out why. Goddammit, mom.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [39 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [39 favorites]
Like most real people, I do not fit neatly into the dichotomies of the cartoon world, so I am a redditor MeFite.
That makes you Goofallant!
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 8:55 AM on July 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
That makes you Goofallant!
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 8:55 AM on July 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
Highlights editors are intentionally focusing the strip more on “social-emotional learning”
brb, starting the countdown to the moment when some far-right person gets mad about Highlights magazine.
posted by box at 8:56 AM on July 3, 2023 [24 favorites]
brb, starting the countdown to the moment when some far-right person gets mad about Highlights magazine.
posted by box at 8:56 AM on July 3, 2023 [24 favorites]
I like that they've moved towards making it clear that Goofus is not a bad kid, he just sometimes makes suboptimal choices; I too make a lot of suboptimal choices, solidarity with Goofus.
posted by an octopus IRL at 11:50 AM on July 3
Sweetheart, I hate to say this publicly, but you're absolutely a Goofus, like your father before you.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:56 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by an octopus IRL at 11:50 AM on July 3
Sweetheart, I hate to say this publicly, but you're absolutely a Goofus, like your father before you.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:56 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Goofus sucks shit, Gallant eats ass
posted by cortex at 8:57 AM on July 3, 2023 [31 favorites]
posted by cortex at 8:57 AM on July 3, 2023 [31 favorites]
Sweetheart, I hate to say this publicly, but you're absolutely a Goofus, like your father before you.
Ironically, Gallant would never say such a thing to his beloved spouse
posted by an octopus IRL at 8:58 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Ironically, Gallant would never say such a thing to his beloved spouse
posted by an octopus IRL at 8:58 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Highlights has leaned into merchandise heavily of late. I think a t-shirt emblazoned with “A Gallant on the street and a Goofus in the sheets” would be a bestseller.
posted by dr_dank at 8:58 AM on July 3, 2023 [70 favorites]
posted by dr_dank at 8:58 AM on July 3, 2023 [70 favorites]
Sweetheart, I hate to say this publicly, but you're absolutely a Goofus, like your father before you.
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Goofus The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story Gallant would tell you. . . "
posted by The Bellman at 9:01 AM on July 3, 2023 [24 favorites]
"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Goofus The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story Gallant would tell you. . . "
posted by The Bellman at 9:01 AM on July 3, 2023 [24 favorites]
Highlights editors are intentionally focusing the strip more on “social-emotional learning”
brb, starting the countdown to the moment when some far-right person gets mad about Highlights magazine
This is how far right things have gotten. My Goldwater/Nixon/Taft-ite parents subscribed Highlights for me and read it to me until I could read it myself, but that was the 1970s…
posted by toodleydoodley at 9:02 AM on July 3, 2023
brb, starting the countdown to the moment when some far-right person gets mad about Highlights magazine
This is how far right things have gotten. My Goldwater/Nixon/Taft-ite parents subscribed Highlights for me and read it to me until I could read it myself, but that was the 1970s…
posted by toodleydoodley at 9:02 AM on July 3, 2023
It's freaking me out that 1948 Goofus and Gallant look almost exactly like Beavis and Butt-Head.
I thought they looked like an elf and an alien.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:15 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
I thought they looked like an elf and an alien.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:15 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
I definitely know of Highlights magazine, and probably even thumbed through a couple in the 80’s while in a doctor’s waiting room. But I remember hating the magazine for some reason, even when it was age appropriate. Anyway, I have never heard of Goofus and Gallant, but this was a very interesting read.
posted by skewed at 9:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by skewed at 9:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
That makes you Goofallant!
Yes, but which syllable as the accent in THAT?
posted by hippybear at 9:37 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Yes, but which syllable as the accent in THAT?
posted by hippybear at 9:37 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Goofus goes to see Oppenheimer; Gallant sees Barbie.
Am I doing this right? I grew up in Sweden, and there was a similar pair of children’s figures called Spara and Slösa (“Save” and “Waste”), who were locked into ever making responsible or irresponsible financial decisions, respectively.
posted by boogieboy at 9:45 AM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
Am I doing this right? I grew up in Sweden, and there was a similar pair of children’s figures called Spara and Slösa (“Save” and “Waste”), who were locked into ever making responsible or irresponsible financial decisions, respectively.
posted by boogieboy at 9:45 AM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
It's freaking me out that 1948 Goofus and Gallant look almost exactly like Beavis and Butt-Head. I don't have anything insightful to say. It's just freaking me out. That's all.
Well, it’s not inconceivable that Goofus and Gallant could have been an influence on a young Mike Judge.
posted by riruro at 9:49 AM on July 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
Well, it’s not inconceivable that Goofus and Gallant could have been an influence on a young Mike Judge.
posted by riruro at 9:49 AM on July 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
So, not the colossal dance hit of 1930 for Wayne King & His Orchestra — Goofus, then?
posted by scruss at 9:51 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by scruss at 9:51 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
I'm sincerely trying to recast the years of episodes of Beavis and Butthead that I watched in the G&G frame, and I'll say that Butthead is the Gallant in this scenario.
posted by hippybear at 9:52 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 9:52 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
I mean Butthead was slightly more street-smart I reckon, but Beavis was the real thinker of the operation. Straight up: Beavis coulda been somebody, Butthead was an albatross around his skinny dirtbag neck.
posted by cortex at 9:56 AM on July 3, 2023 [14 favorites]
posted by cortex at 9:56 AM on July 3, 2023 [14 favorites]
But Beavis is the one who would overdose on caffiene and turn into Cornholio. Beavis is always making the worse decisions amongst the two. Even going back to Frog Baseball, the first Beavis And Butt-heat short, it's Beavis at the beginning who is torturing the insects with firecrackers, and he's the one throwing the frog as a baseball.
Being the "real thinker" between those two means you're the one instigating the worse choices, meaning you're Goofus.
posted by hippybear at 10:05 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
Being the "real thinker" between those two means you're the one instigating the worse choices, meaning you're Goofus.
posted by hippybear at 10:05 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
not the colossal dance hit of 1930
Not the Carpenters cover, either.
(TIL that The Carpenters might've been even more square than I thought they were, and also I'm legit surprised that drum break at the beginning isn't like an e.g. Prince Paul or MF DOOM sample.)
posted by box at 10:07 AM on July 3, 2023
Not the Carpenters cover, either.
(TIL that The Carpenters might've been even more square than I thought they were, and also I'm legit surprised that drum break at the beginning isn't like an e.g. Prince Paul or MF DOOM sample.)
posted by box at 10:07 AM on July 3, 2023
Be aware that drum breaks, actually the drums, were played by Karen Carpenter, who was studying drums before she started singing.
posted by hippybear at 10:08 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 10:08 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
Sounds like a great time to link to this classic piece of internet slashfiction, Gallant is Aroused; Goofus is Horny. An excerpt:
***
Gallant hesitates, uncertain that Goofus wants what Gallant thinks he wants.
Goofus knows what he wants, and is determined to get it from Gallant.
***
Gallant is surprised that Goofus doesn't have a condom.
Goofus is surprised that Gallant has a condom.
***
posted by mtthwkrl at 10:30 AM on July 3, 2023 [22 favorites]
***
Gallant hesitates, uncertain that Goofus wants what Gallant thinks he wants.
Goofus knows what he wants, and is determined to get it from Gallant.
***
Gallant is surprised that Goofus doesn't have a condom.
Goofus is surprised that Gallant has a condom.
***
posted by mtthwkrl at 10:30 AM on July 3, 2023 [22 favorites]
My mom bought me a Highlights subscription as a kid. I was a pretty non-rebellious youth for the most part, but I couldn’t stand Gallant. Brown-nosing, goody two-shoes nerd.
As an adult, if I had to pick one to go out bar-hopping with, it’s my man Goofus all the way. Gallant would probably say something about how we have to work tomorrow so maybe we should take it easy.
posted by The Gooch at 10:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
As an adult, if I had to pick one to go out bar-hopping with, it’s my man Goofus all the way. Gallant would probably say something about how we have to work tomorrow so maybe we should take it easy.
posted by The Gooch at 10:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
I remember seeing some WWII-era Navy training films for new sailors on shore leave along these lines. I don't remember if they used these names, but it was like "Gallant stays with his fellow sailors and has a good time, Goofus goes off by himself and gets catfished and loses all his money and gives away military secrets etc."
posted by credulous at 10:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [10 favorites]
posted by credulous at 10:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [10 favorites]
That makes you Goofallant!
Whose counterpart would be Galloofus!
posted by TedW at 10:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
Whose counterpart would be Galloofus!
posted by TedW at 10:35 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
Whose counterpart would be Galloofus!
The accented syllable puzzle grows even larger!
posted by hippybear at 10:37 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
The accented syllable puzzle grows even larger!
posted by hippybear at 10:37 AM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
It's not exactly 1:1 with Beavis and Butthead. Butthead was was more rational (if not exactly smarter); but also detached and negative. Beavis was exuberant and expressive, but also portrayed as suggestible and largely impulse driven(which also made him seem somewhat kinder, in a naive way, though also more violent).
Goofus and Gallant is straight up 'Vices' vs. 'Virtues.'
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:39 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
Goofus and Gallant is straight up 'Vices' vs. 'Virtues.'
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:39 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
There was a moderately popular novelty folk song from the mid-1980s about G&G. (Somehow, I thought it was by Uncle Bonsai, but turns out to be Howard Ashby Kranz.
posted by cheshyre at 10:48 AM on July 3, 2023
posted by cheshyre at 10:48 AM on July 3, 2023
Related: Do's and Don'ts with Frank and Fred, c/o Late Night with David Letterman
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:50 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:50 AM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
Also, for the Goofallant, see Stimpy. (Though I'm not sure if Ren qualifies for Galloofus, in either respect.)
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:52 AM on July 3, 2023
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:52 AM on July 3, 2023
The archive link does not work for me, on current Firefox. "Cannot communicate securely with peer: no common encryption algorithm(s). Error code: SSL_ERROR_NO_CYPHER_OVERLAP" I tried it in a private window with no extensions active and it still happened. It does seem to work in Vivaldi.
posted by JHarris at 10:53 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by JHarris at 10:53 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Has anyone else heard Gallant in this context pronounced with an accent on the second syllable instead of the first?
No, just Goofús.
posted by cubeb at 10:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
No, just Goofús.
posted by cubeb at 10:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
I have a lengthy screed on the depth of the message of Stimpy's Invention that might feed into this situation.
Although likely not.
posted by hippybear at 10:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
Although likely not.
posted by hippybear at 10:54 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
Beavis was the real thinker of the operation. Straight up: Beavis coulda been somebody
yes....
... as long as he had t.p. ....
tp for his bunghole......
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 10:58 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
yes....
... as long as he had t.p. ....
tp for his bunghole......
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 10:58 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
Goofus sleeps in with a hangover on Mondays.
Gallant arises promptly and remembers to post a new Free Thread.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:00 AM on July 3, 2023 [9 favorites]
Gallant arises promptly and remembers to post a new Free Thread.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:00 AM on July 3, 2023 [9 favorites]
(marvels at how quickly and thoroughly this thread went into the weeds, lol)
posted by cybrcamper at 11:01 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by cybrcamper at 11:01 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
I cannot, CANNOT tell you the warm fuzzies that I would feel when Highlights arrived and the first thing I would do was open right to the G&G page. I'm getting warm fuzzies right now, just reading about them.
posted by Melismata at 11:03 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 11:03 AM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
Don't do what Donny Don't does...?
posted by tristeza at 11:10 AM on July 3, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by tristeza at 11:10 AM on July 3, 2023 [11 favorites]
The Animaniacs' Good Idea, Bad Idea segments seem like an absurdist parody of G&G.
posted by credulous at 11:14 AM on July 3, 2023 [11 favorites]
posted by credulous at 11:14 AM on July 3, 2023 [11 favorites]
I remember seeing some WWII-era Navy training films for new sailors on shore leave along these lines. I don't remember if they used these names, but it was like "Gallant stays with his fellow sailors and has a good time, Goofus goes off by himself and gets catfished and loses all his money and gives away military secrets etc."
Private Snafu?
posted by Melismata at 11:14 AM on July 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
Private Snafu?
posted by Melismata at 11:14 AM on July 3, 2023 [6 favorites]
My parents would have laughed 'til they cried (maybe about 30 seconds, tbh) at the hopelessness of getting me to behave half as well as Goofus.
posted by jamjam at 11:14 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by jamjam at 11:14 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
I think a t-shirt emblazoned with “A Gallant on the street and a Goofus in the sheets” would be a bestseller.
nah, goofus gets off and goes to sleep. gallant waits until everyone is done.
posted by Clowder of bats at 11:15 AM on July 3, 2023 [13 favorites]
nah, goofus gets off and goes to sleep. gallant waits until everyone is done.
posted by Clowder of bats at 11:15 AM on July 3, 2023 [13 favorites]
I see they have adopted Solzhenitsyn's wisdom about the line between good and evil running through each of our hearts.
I guess, but having a disclaimer feels like the one where Cookie Monster has to say "cookies are only a sometimes food." Yeah, I'm old, whatever.
posted by Melismata at 11:16 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
I guess, but having a disclaimer feels like the one where Cookie Monster has to say "cookies are only a sometimes food." Yeah, I'm old, whatever.
posted by Melismata at 11:16 AM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
OMG Letterman is so young in that clip...
You may be Goofus, But always try to be Gallant.
posted by Windopaene at 11:16 AM on July 3, 2023
You may be Goofus, But always try to be Gallant.
posted by Windopaene at 11:16 AM on July 3, 2023
… Goofus and Gallant in the Gulag.
That suggests a rich vein of alternative G&Gs!
“Goofusevitch is a bourgeoisie enemy of class struggle! Gallantov is a hero of the proletariat collective!”
With appropriate imagery
posted by TedW at 11:21 AM on July 3, 2023 [13 favorites]
That suggests a rich vein of alternative G&Gs!
“Goofusevitch is a bourgeoisie enemy of class struggle! Gallantov is a hero of the proletariat collective!”
With appropriate imagery
posted by TedW at 11:21 AM on July 3, 2023 [13 favorites]
Melismata: I guess, but having a disclaimer feels like the one where Cookie Monster has to say "cookies are only a sometimes food." Yeah, I'm old, whatever.
I assume that's a gentle reminder to moderate your cocaine use. Gallant only snorts a line at the beginning of a long weekend when he's in a safe evironment.
posted by clawsoon at 11:27 AM on July 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
I assume that's a gentle reminder to moderate your cocaine use. Gallant only snorts a line at the beginning of a long weekend when he's in a safe evironment.
posted by clawsoon at 11:27 AM on July 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
Private Snafu?
Ooh that's a good guess! Here's a playlist of videos. And these are from WW2, so pre-date Goofus & Gallant. With Chuck Jones and Mel Blanc providing the big Looney Tunes vibe. But while Private Snafu is a Goofus (with occasional help from Technical Fairy) I don't think those cartoons had a Gallant analog for setting the good example.
I think it's interesting how much adults identify with Goofus. He's the bad example but he's also the relatable one, the schlub who is ourselves or our friends. Gallant is an annoying goody-two-shoes. See also the comparisons of Bush & Gore and Goofus & Gallant; those were meant to be flattering to Bush, the Goofus.
posted by Nelson at 11:30 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Ooh that's a good guess! Here's a playlist of videos. And these are from WW2, so pre-date Goofus & Gallant. With Chuck Jones and Mel Blanc providing the big Looney Tunes vibe. But while Private Snafu is a Goofus (with occasional help from Technical Fairy) I don't think those cartoons had a Gallant analog for setting the good example.
I think it's interesting how much adults identify with Goofus. He's the bad example but he's also the relatable one, the schlub who is ourselves or our friends. Gallant is an annoying goody-two-shoes. See also the comparisons of Bush & Gore and Goofus & Gallant; those were meant to be flattering to Bush, the Goofus.
posted by Nelson at 11:30 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Add me to the roster of "Gallant" mispronouncers, though I don't think I ever said the characters name aloud. I will admit to being well into adulthood before realizing the that character's name was a pun of sorts.
posted by AirSpencer at 11:34 AM on July 3, 2023
posted by AirSpencer at 11:34 AM on July 3, 2023
I blame Wordshore.
posted by y2karl at 11:36 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by y2karl at 11:36 AM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
I aspired to be a Gallant, but I saw myself in Goofus.
posted by tommasz at 11:37 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 11:37 AM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
But Beavis is the one who would overdose on caffiene and turn into Cornholio. Beavis is always making the worse decisions amongst the two. Even going back to Frog Baseball , the first Beavis And Butt-heat short, it's Beavis at the beginning who is torturing the insects with firecrackers, and he's the one throwing the frog as a baseball.
Being the "real thinker" between those two means you're the one instigating the worse choices, meaning you're Goofus.
Remember, a guardian angel tried to show Butt-head how much better life would be if he'd never been born.
posted by stevis23 at 11:41 AM on July 3, 2023
Being the "real thinker" between those two means you're the one instigating the worse choices, meaning you're Goofus.
Remember, a guardian angel tried to show Butt-head how much better life would be if he'd never been born.
posted by stevis23 at 11:41 AM on July 3, 2023
“The Strange Case of Dr. Gallant and Mr. Goofus” by John “Highlights” Stevenson.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:00 PM on July 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:00 PM on July 3, 2023 [8 favorites]
I always felt like Party Down's RDD's were an oblique refeneve to Goofus and Gallant
posted by KingEdRa at 1:04 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by KingEdRa at 1:04 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
I thing Gallant was more GALlant than galLANT.
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:14 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:14 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
My younger brother is straight Goofus. Not through any meanness or real strain of vice, more because he'll do anything if it gets a laugh, which has made him prone to more than a few negative outcomes. But still. Even with all the negatives, it's fun to be friends with Goofus. We all knew Gallant was a virtue-signalling prat.
Always enjoyed those silly magazines even if I only ever saw them in doctors or dentists offices. I can't be the only one who always mentally pronounced it "fun with a porpoise"... can I?
posted by caution live frogs at 1:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Always enjoyed those silly magazines even if I only ever saw them in doctors or dentists offices. I can't be the only one who always mentally pronounced it "fun with a porpoise"... can I?
posted by caution live frogs at 1:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [5 favorites]
Now do the Timbertoes! (which creeped me out, for some reason)
posted by davidmsc at 1:35 PM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by davidmsc at 1:35 PM on July 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
brb, starting the countdown to the moment when some far-right person gets mad about Highlights magazine
Highlights came out a few years ago with a statement against the US policy of separating immigrant children from their parents at the border (can't get to it now, it was a tweet) but this was my comment at the time:
Goofus separates kids from their parents and puts them in prison camps.
Gallant welcomes immigrant families and treats them humanely.
posted by Daily Alice at 3:41 PM on June 26, 2019 [62 favorites +] [!]
posted by Daily Alice at 1:36 PM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
Highlights came out a few years ago with a statement against the US policy of separating immigrant children from their parents at the border (can't get to it now, it was a tweet) but this was my comment at the time:
Goofus separates kids from their parents and puts them in prison camps.
Gallant welcomes immigrant families and treats them humanely.
posted by Daily Alice at 3:41 PM on June 26, 2019 [62 favorites +] [!]
posted by Daily Alice at 1:36 PM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
The archive link does not work for me
Yeah. It looks like archive.is, archive.ph, archive.today, etc. are all inaccessible. I don't think they're completely down, because I was able to read this article by going through Express VPN. But it looks like somebody has cut them off from the main line of Internet access.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:39 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Yeah. It looks like archive.is, archive.ph, archive.today, etc. are all inaccessible. I don't think they're completely down, because I was able to read this article by going through Express VPN. But it looks like somebody has cut them off from the main line of Internet access.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:39 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Goofus and Gallant had enough cultural cache that we see an ersatz version of the pair being used for entertainment/moral instruction in Bioshock Infinite (and given the game's worldbuilding, it's likely they were cribbed off the original pair in-game, like much of Columbia's media.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:14 PM on July 3, 2023
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:14 PM on July 3, 2023
The Galloofather. Goofus leaves the gun. Gallant takes the cannoli.
Galoofellas. Gallant solves trouble with the cops. Goofus says "fuck you, pay me."
posted by kirkaracha at 2:28 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Galoofellas. Gallant solves trouble with the cops. Goofus says "fuck you, pay me."
posted by kirkaracha at 2:28 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Glengallant Glen Goof
posted by cortex at 3:42 PM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
posted by cortex at 3:42 PM on July 3, 2023 [12 favorites]
Putting the emphasis on the end of gallant (like 'nonchalant') strikes me as self-conscious mid-atlantic pronunciation. Even moreso, gallantry pronounced gal-AWNT-tree, dahling.
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:50 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:50 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
1. scrolled and scrolled and scrolled in the hopes I'd be first in with "now do the timbertoes!" Goddammit.
2. I always said it "GALLant" and was very weirded out years later when the real pronounciation was pointed out to me.
3. an early spasm of OCD was triggered by Highlights when I was sorting all my kids mags from gramma and grampa (world, highlights, electric company magazine) by date (at age I don't know 8 or 9?) and discovered that the months always had the same colors in every year, and couldn't decide whether to sort by date or by color and then year.
(anyone else get Owl as a kid?)
posted by hearthpig at 4:08 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
2. I always said it "GALLant" and was very weirded out years later when the real pronounciation was pointed out to me.
3. an early spasm of OCD was triggered by Highlights when I was sorting all my kids mags from gramma and grampa (world, highlights, electric company magazine) by date (at age I don't know 8 or 9?) and discovered that the months always had the same colors in every year, and couldn't decide whether to sort by date or by color and then year.
(anyone else get Owl as a kid?)
posted by hearthpig at 4:08 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
But I remember hating the magazine for some reason, even when it was age appropriate.
I had this feeling, too. Something about “for children” right there in the title felt condescending me, and a lot of the content felt weird and empty to me, in a way I couldn’t characterize.
Also, what larger volume of content was it meant to share the highlights of?
Now, I would say it felt to me like a magazine full of “the moral of the story” but no story. Or like cereal that didn’t have any sugar in it. Or a house with no snacks.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
I had this feeling, too. Something about “for children” right there in the title felt condescending me, and a lot of the content felt weird and empty to me, in a way I couldn’t characterize.
Also, what larger volume of content was it meant to share the highlights of?
Now, I would say it felt to me like a magazine full of “the moral of the story” but no story. Or like cereal that didn’t have any sugar in it. Or a house with no snacks.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Goofus screams his pain and rage into the void without giving a thought to the Eldritch horrors within which may be roused, if it so happens that those cries should fall upon their ears.
Gallant tempts not such suicidal folly, and holds his tongue waiting for the opportunity to conceal those screams amongst the cacophony of nature and the works of men, such as a passing steam locomotive or amongst the deafening crashes of a nearby waterfall.
posted by chambers at 4:27 PM on July 3, 2023 [16 favorites]
Gallant tempts not such suicidal folly, and holds his tongue waiting for the opportunity to conceal those screams amongst the cacophony of nature and the works of men, such as a passing steam locomotive or amongst the deafening crashes of a nearby waterfall.
posted by chambers at 4:27 PM on July 3, 2023 [16 favorites]
the article doesn't say anything about the mad magazine parody melvin and jenkins
posted by brujita at 4:30 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by brujita at 4:30 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
when the real pronounciation was pointed out to me.
Huh, I guess I missed the relevant comment, was it determined that there's a canonical "real" pronunciation for the name Gallant? Because Webster's has no less than three different pronunciations of the word, although they don't all necessarily carry the same connotation.
posted by xigxag at 5:01 PM on July 3, 2023
Huh, I guess I missed the relevant comment, was it determined that there's a canonical "real" pronunciation for the name Gallant? Because Webster's has no less than three different pronunciations of the word, although they don't all necessarily carry the same connotation.
posted by xigxag at 5:01 PM on July 3, 2023
Goofus might have been an asshole, but you just knew he had an insane treehouse to hang out in and smoke weed. Gallant was the neighborhood narc.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:56 PM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 6:56 PM on July 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
I was at the doctor's office a lot as a kid, and I saw a lot of Highlights. Reading this article, I started to realize how much, how very much I wanted to be Gallant, not that I really ever made it. And yeah, I beat myself up about it every time I realized I wasn't. Worse than that, though is how it gave me a very focused way of looking at the world that I'm still trying to recover from.
Even now, I look at someone doing something Goofus-y, and it bugs me. It gives me a stupid, unearned sense of superiority over them. It's fucking ugly, and it's one of those things that I'd love to excise from myself, this goddamn judgemental viewpoint of the world, over such stupid shit. "Goofus doesn't know how to use the automated ticket machine, while Gallant has his exact change ready so he doesn't hold up the line!" type bullshit.
And where did this come from? From a magazine for kids that literally said "this is how good kids should behave, and you want to be a good kid, right?" How the hell was four or five year old me supposed to recognize and reject the kinds of things that were in the late 70s, early 80s versions? I mean, at least they weren't as horrific as the 50s and 60s comics, but they were still very clearly written by someone who valued kids behaving in ways that wouldn't inconvenience adults over all else.
I guess I'm grateful to see the modern comics, which seem to be approaching children as children, and helping them to make sense out of the world around them, rather than coaching them how to be seen and not heard. It's the same kind of gratitude I see at newer philosophies of education, but it never comes without a harsh chaser, that many of the ways that I was raised, was taught to think, were at best, utterly without merit, or at worst, molded me in ways I've only started to realize were shitty, and prepared me to view the world and the people in it in the same shitty ways. And here I am, having a breakthrough from an Atlantic article about a dumb kids cartoon, realizing just how much of a judgmental asshole I've been.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:05 PM on July 3, 2023 [14 favorites]
Even now, I look at someone doing something Goofus-y, and it bugs me. It gives me a stupid, unearned sense of superiority over them. It's fucking ugly, and it's one of those things that I'd love to excise from myself, this goddamn judgemental viewpoint of the world, over such stupid shit. "Goofus doesn't know how to use the automated ticket machine, while Gallant has his exact change ready so he doesn't hold up the line!" type bullshit.
And where did this come from? From a magazine for kids that literally said "this is how good kids should behave, and you want to be a good kid, right?" How the hell was four or five year old me supposed to recognize and reject the kinds of things that were in the late 70s, early 80s versions? I mean, at least they weren't as horrific as the 50s and 60s comics, but they were still very clearly written by someone who valued kids behaving in ways that wouldn't inconvenience adults over all else.
I guess I'm grateful to see the modern comics, which seem to be approaching children as children, and helping them to make sense out of the world around them, rather than coaching them how to be seen and not heard. It's the same kind of gratitude I see at newer philosophies of education, but it never comes without a harsh chaser, that many of the ways that I was raised, was taught to think, were at best, utterly without merit, or at worst, molded me in ways I've only started to realize were shitty, and prepared me to view the world and the people in it in the same shitty ways. And here I am, having a breakthrough from an Atlantic article about a dumb kids cartoon, realizing just how much of a judgmental asshole I've been.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:05 PM on July 3, 2023 [14 favorites]
Goofus says archeology is not an exact science, it does not deal in time schedules. He is digging in the wrong place.
Gallant takes back one kadam to honor the Hebrew God whose Ark this is.
posted by credulous at 7:54 PM on July 3, 2023 [15 favorites]
Gallant takes back one kadam to honor the Hebrew God whose Ark this is.
posted by credulous at 7:54 PM on July 3, 2023 [15 favorites]
I offer a belated addition to the chorus that the adjective "gallant" and name "Gallant" are iambs (but my *nominal* "gallant [knight]" remains a trochee)
posted by Earthtopus at 7:58 PM on July 3, 2023
posted by Earthtopus at 7:58 PM on July 3, 2023
I too had no love for Highlights even when age appropriate, except I would pick it up in a waiting room and only read the G&G for reasons 5 decades later I still can't comprehend.
posted by Fupped Duck at 8:00 PM on July 3, 2023
posted by Fupped Duck at 8:00 PM on July 3, 2023
And a Gal Ant is generally a queen busy laying eggs.
posted by hippybear at 8:00 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 8:00 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
And seriously Highlights For Children, for me, meant I was waiting for my braces to get tightened.
posted by hippybear at 8:01 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 8:01 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
Yeah, there was something unsettling about the Timbertoes.
Highlights on the whole was a weird childhood diversion, made worse since the only time I ever saw it was at the doctor's office. Boring and proper. It even seemed to have the same dull cover every issue. Reading Goofus was keep it real was the saving grace that held any interest at all.
posted by 2N2222 at 8:48 PM on July 3, 2023
Highlights on the whole was a weird childhood diversion, made worse since the only time I ever saw it was at the doctor's office. Boring and proper. It even seemed to have the same dull cover every issue. Reading Goofus was keep it real was the saving grace that held any interest at all.
posted by 2N2222 at 8:48 PM on July 3, 2023
The effect of Goofus and Gallant on me was an increase of transgressive behavior to spite the writers and their supporters vis-a-vis their obvious and patronizing moralizing. Much like the effect of DARE inspiring me to abuse drugs. Unalloyed, I hate these things and I possess an overwhelming affinity to spite assholes.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 8:50 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 8:50 PM on July 3, 2023 [2 favorites]
the effect of DARE inspiring me to abuse drugs
One day when my son was in the 7th-grade, he had a DARE program event at school. He was telling us about it at the dinner table that evening, and said "Do you know what D.A.R.E stands for?" When we said no, he replied "Drugs Are Really Expensive." His mom was a touch scandalized, but I LOL'd.
(Fortunately, in the following years he managed to skip any serious drug experimentation anyway.)
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
One day when my son was in the 7th-grade, he had a DARE program event at school. He was telling us about it at the dinner table that evening, and said "Do you know what D.A.R.E stands for?" When we said no, he replied "Drugs Are Really Expensive." His mom was a touch scandalized, but I LOL'd.
(Fortunately, in the following years he managed to skip any serious drug experimentation anyway.)
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:20 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Gall ant: way more painful than a stone!
posted by jamjam at 9:49 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by jamjam at 9:49 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
The real issue with G&G is the focus on proximal behavior. In my head-canon, Goofus is neurodivergent and likely experiences some form of child abuse. But in their world he's just understood to be a dick. Boo, on them. And boo on all the apparently Christian dentists and orthodontists in the world with simplistic moralities.
Edit: Apparently, this is exposing some long-standing issues
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 9:56 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
Edit: Apparently, this is exposing some long-standing issues
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 9:56 PM on July 3, 2023 [3 favorites]
It’s amazing how much conversation is being driven by Goofus & Gallant. I had a granny-purchased subscription to Highlights in the 1970s and I remember being vaguely unsettled by Goofus and Gallant. No real reason I just didn’t think either of them were wrong. I couldn’t decide either way.
posted by bendy at 10:05 PM on July 3, 2023
posted by bendy at 10:05 PM on July 3, 2023
I'm reminded of a public service TV ad from Australia from the 1980s
Ding a Lings - Do stupid things
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:35 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Ding a Lings - Do stupid things
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:35 PM on July 3, 2023 [1 favorite]
Fortunately, in the following years he managed to skip any serious drug experimentation anyway.
My elementary classes' DARE Days consistently fell on the days the gifted program met at the middle school. Every dang year. So I only got the big assemblies. In retrospect, they may have trusted us a little more than was reasonable.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 10:54 PM on July 3, 2023
My elementary classes' DARE Days consistently fell on the days the gifted program met at the middle school. Every dang year. So I only got the big assemblies. In retrospect, they may have trusted us a little more than was reasonable.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 10:54 PM on July 3, 2023
Heh, I thought about making Goofus and Gallant Mastodon bots:
Goofus posts *so many things* that are reportable.
Gallant posts "hello, and welcome to our server!"
posted by Pronoiac at 3:42 AM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
Goofus posts *so many things* that are reportable.
Gallant posts "hello, and welcome to our server!"
posted by Pronoiac at 3:42 AM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
Goofus goes mad from the revelation of the terrifying vistas of reality and of our frightful position therein
Gallant flees from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:17 AM on July 4, 2023 [6 favorites]
Gallant flees from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:17 AM on July 4, 2023 [6 favorites]
Highlights has already had a big right wing controversy. I’m betting that you can’t find a copy of it in conservative charter schools these days
posted by dis_integration at 6:16 AM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by dis_integration at 6:16 AM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Here's the first same sex parents image in Highlights from 2017. I thought their decision to cover the details of Father relaxing his sphincter to admit Daddy's penis was a bit of a departure from the usual Highlights content but eh, the kids have to learn some time. (I am joking, of course, writing out the pornographic fantasy the awful protestors imagine. The actual publication is a completely innocuous depiction of a family trip with two adult men and two kids loading a car.)
A few months later there's two mommies in Hello magazine which Slate frames as resulting in no reaction.
posted by Nelson at 8:06 AM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
A few months later there's two mommies in Hello magazine which Slate frames as resulting in no reaction.
posted by Nelson at 8:06 AM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
Goofus might have been an asshole, but you just knew he had an insane treehouse to hang out in and smoke weed. Gallant was the neighborhood narc.
Though you know that if Goofus got busted, he would give up anyone he knew in a second to save his own ass.
posted by gtrwolf at 8:37 AM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Though you know that if Goofus got busted, he would give up anyone he knew in a second to save his own ass.
posted by gtrwolf at 8:37 AM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
was it determined that there's a canonical "real" pronunciation for the name Gallant?
highlights does have a youtube channel. GALLant ftw
posted by Clowder of bats at 11:31 AM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
highlights does have a youtube channel. GALLant ftw
posted by Clowder of bats at 11:31 AM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Though you know that if Goofus got busted, he would give up anyone he knew in a second to save his own ass.
Goofus is an opportunist. Gallant is a naive patsy.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:00 PM on July 4, 2023
Goofus is an opportunist. Gallant is a naive patsy.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:00 PM on July 4, 2023
Goofus is an opportunist. Gallant is a naive patsy.
This seriously need to be a They Might Be Giants song, if it isn't already.
posted by hippybear at 12:16 PM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
This seriously need to be a They Might Be Giants song, if it isn't already.
posted by hippybear at 12:16 PM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Are there any adaptations/parodies in which G&G are doing exactly the same thing, but Goofus is doing it for bad reasons and Gallant is doing it for good reasons?
posted by Not A Thing at 11:25 AM on July 5, 2023
posted by Not A Thing at 11:25 AM on July 5, 2023
Gallant is a sentient, conscious entity with agency and self-awareness; Goofus is a philosophical zombie, a mindless automaton indiscernible from but simultaneously absolutely alien to conventional assumptions of personhood as an intrinsic quality.
posted by cortex at 11:56 AM on July 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
posted by cortex at 11:56 AM on July 5, 2023 [5 favorites]
Goofus is a sentient, conscious entity with agency and self-awareness; Gallant is a philosophical zombie, a mindless automaton indiscernible from but simultaneously absolutely alien to conventional assumptions of personhood as an intrinsic quality.
posted by Phssthpok at 9:30 PM on July 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Phssthpok at 9:30 PM on July 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
Abehammerb Lincoln Sorry, parenting isn't easy, and as a Mom, I treasured the occasional joke.
posted by Mom at 6:13 PM on July 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Mom at 6:13 PM on July 6, 2023 [3 favorites]
I remember seeing some WWII-era Navy training films for new sailors on shore leave along these lines. I don't remember if they used these names, but it was like "Gallant stays with his fellow sailors and has a good time, Goofus goes off by himself and gets catfished and loses all his money and gives away military secrets etc."
Gallant comes back from leave having suffered no ill effects, Goofus comes back with the clap.
posted by gtrwolf at 10:45 PM on July 8, 2023
Gallant comes back from leave having suffered no ill effects, Goofus comes back with the clap.
posted by gtrwolf at 10:45 PM on July 8, 2023
… Goofus and Gallant in the Gulag.
Or, in an alternative (?) universe, Goofus & Gallant Escape from Guantanamo Bay
posted by gtrwolf at 10:56 PM on July 8, 2023 [1 favorite]
Or, in an alternative (?) universe, Goofus & Gallant Escape from Guantanamo Bay
posted by gtrwolf at 10:56 PM on July 8, 2023 [1 favorite]
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It's good reading seeing someone take the 80 years of comics so seriously. Hard to tell how much of this is a reflection on American society (like the roaming range of kids) and how much is the particular bland niceness unique to the strip.
posted by Nelson at 8:29 AM on July 3, 2023 [21 favorites]