Superior Stick Safety Suggestions

September 7, 2006 11:42 AM

No. 8. -- One of the Best Ways to Meet a Direct Attack upon the Head with a very Heavy Stick when Armed with an Ordinary Stick. [via Deadspin]
posted by karmaville (23 comments total)

Double.
posted by lumpenprole at 11:45 AM on September 7, 2006

Triple, even.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:46 AM on September 7, 2006

POIN-TED STICK!
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:49 AM on September 7, 2006

so the september contest is $30 for the suckiest post of the day?
posted by snofoam at 11:54 AM on September 7, 2006

I learned everything I need to know about stick fighting from Xiao Xiao.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:54 AM on September 7, 2006

cool link, tho.
posted by owhydididoit at 11:55 AM on September 7, 2006

Start the animated gifs!
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:55 AM on September 7, 2006

do we need all the fancy-pants manouvering when all you have to do is just shove a pineapple down his windpipe?
posted by gorgor_balabala at 11:55 AM on September 7, 2006

This is, like, the ninth time I've seen this. Someone get me a video of an exploding whale, stat!
posted by frogan at 11:58 AM on September 7, 2006

Never take a walking stick to a gunfight.
posted by HuronBob at 12:04 PM on September 7, 2006

posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:05 PM on September 7, 2006 [2 favorites]

Excellent. That's going into my permanent collection.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:06 PM on September 7, 2006

What?
posted by Floydd at 12:06 PM on September 7, 2006

Damn, I knew I shoulda put a 'lil & in the corner.

And instead of "Vile Knave!", "A TRIPLE, EVEN?!?" woulda worked much better.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:10 PM on September 7, 2006

These tactics are useless in real street fighting. What if your attacker has a banana?
posted by justkevin at 12:12 PM on September 7, 2006

Sorry. Beat me with a heavy stick. I searched for the link and keywords and still fucked it all up.
posted by karmaville at 12:14 PM on September 7, 2006

I'm sure that I could find all the actual details to this story by about thirty seconds of googling, but I would rather tell my mixed up and frequently wrong version of this historical tale: There was once this Senator from the great state of South Carolina who got pissed off by another Senator (I think that the other guy said slavery was bad or some such other impertinence) and so the Senator from the great state of South Carolina caned his ass on the Senate floor. Guy just picked up his cane and beat the shit out of that damn yankee right there in the middle of the Senate. Then we went to war and beat y'all up right good. That is how I remember it at least.
posted by ND¢ at 12:15 PM on September 7, 2006

Here it is.
posted by ND¢ at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2006

Having so hooked his foot, pull his legs apart, and bring him to the ground, when you can apply the stick where and how you please.

Oh yeaaaaaah....
posted by ColdChef at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2006

This post is worth it just for Alvy Ampersand's contribution.
posted by lekvar at 12:16 PM on September 7, 2006

"Jusht like a fop to bring an umbrella to a gunfight"
posted by stenseng at 12:21 PM on September 7, 2006 [1 favorite]

poop lol
posted by thirteenkiller at 12:23 PM on September 7, 2006

I had just opened the comments to say "Please, won't someone animate some of these??"

I'm amending my comment to: "Please, won't someone animate MORE of these??"
posted by hermitosis at 12:25 PM on September 7, 2006