Who knew selling magazines would be this...dangerous?
February 22, 2007 1:18 PM   Subscribe

For Youths, a Grim Tour on Magazine Crews. A surreal, surprising tale of life on the road selling magazines.
posted by nevercalm (34 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: we're going with the second one...



 
This was posted first, but speed should not win in this case... I'd suggest keeping the higher-quality writeup and dropping this one.
posted by Malor at 1:26 PM on February 22, 2007


I'm cool with that.
posted by nevercalm at 1:30 PM on February 22, 2007


That's mighty... calm of you. Hey - wait a minute!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:33 PM on February 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


I concur!

okay, actually I don't care.
posted by davejay at 1:33 PM on February 22, 2007


Great minds and all that, nevercalm.
posted by maryh at 1:36 PM on February 22, 2007


Geez. Why is everybody so NICE all of a sudden??
posted by Floydd at 1:41 PM on February 22, 2007


Actually, if I had posted the links from the talkingpointsmemo post the other user linked, we'd probably have submitted them at pretty much the same time...the better post should always stand, no? Can I flag my own contribution as a double?
posted by nevercalm at 1:43 PM on February 22, 2007


Sorry Floydd....wait, how's this? BITCHASS MUTHAWHOSITS MY POST WAS FIRST SO YOU CAN ALL GO JUMP IN SOMETHING DEEP AND COLD!!!2!!!~
posted by nevercalm at 1:45 PM on February 22, 2007


I have a fascinating anecdote about door to door magazine salespersons, but now I don't know which thread to put it in. I guess here will be fine.

Right after college I was living in an apartment and someone knocked at the door and it was a young lady and she said "Do you want to buy some magazine subscriptions to help needy children?" and I said "No thank you" and closed the door. Then she yelled from outside the door "Way to help the children asshole!"

That maybe wasn't as fascinating as I thought it was going to be. Oh wait, then we both smoked meth and I beat her. I forgot about that part.
posted by ND¢ at 1:52 PM on February 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


The last shall be first, and the first shall be canned. You're a mensch, nevercalm.
posted by cortex at 1:52 PM on February 22, 2007


Nevercalm, your user name is wrong. And you are, from what I can tell here, a really excellent person.
posted by Bugbread at 2:02 PM on February 22, 2007


now I'm torn, because I liked no-damn-sense's anecdote.

how do you make a cents symbol?

Can't the mods kind of bake one thread into the other, creating a seamless melenge of delicious magazine-crew outrage? That would be my preference.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 2:03 PM on February 22, 2007


Can I flag my own contribution as a double?

Preferably, you should call yourself out in Metatalk, then flame out spectacularly under your own relentless attacks.
posted by dhartung at 2:07 PM on February 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think that the handle actually reads N. Evercalm, like "N" is just his/her first initial. That would totally make sense.
posted by Slap Factory at 2:09 PM on February 22, 2007


nevercalm = CLA55Y.
posted by maryh at 2:15 PM on February 22, 2007


Perhaps it's a running together of some think Scottish commentary: "Nae, ver' calm".
posted by cortex at 2:16 PM on February 22, 2007


Aw, shucks....

Actually, I really like dhartung's idea. Unfortunately, I'm too tired to do all that writing. And the image tag is dead, so what fun will it be? It's just pointless.

*sigh*
posted by nevercalm at 2:21 PM on February 22, 2007


now I'm torn, because I liked no-damn-sense's anecdote.

how do you make a cents symbol?


No damn sense? Who the fuck is no damn sense motherfucker? Here is my username's origin story for the third time:

My username is ND¢ and is pronounced like indecent. But, try typing my username out. You can't. The whole point of my participation on Metafilter is to say incredibly engaging things and for people to be compelled to reply to them by mentioning me by name, but then to go to type out my username and to be unable to because they can't find the ¢ sign on their keyboards. These people will then look at their keyboards and go, "Where the fuck is the ¢ sign?", and then realize that it isn't there any more. They will then realize that something that they took for granted without even thinking about it, something that they thought would always be there, has disappeared, and that things, even things that seemed like they never would, change, and that one day they themselves, much like the ¢ sign, will not be there anymore, and for them to appreciate the impermanence of existence and live their lives a little more deeply after acknowledging that fact. It is also my rap name.

I am just going to add that shit to my userpage to clear up any future mistakes.

No damn sense.

grumble.

posted by ND¢ at 2:22 PM on February 22, 2007 [6 favorites]


It sure brings up some random google results.
posted by nevercalm at 2:26 PM on February 22, 2007


You should swap usernames with Nevercalm, dude.
posted by Slap Factory at 2:28 PM on February 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


They will then realize that something that they took for granted without even thinking about it, something that they thought would always be there, has disappeared, and that things, even things that seemed like they never would, change, and that one day they themselves, much like the ¢ sign, will not be there anymore, and for them to appreciate the impermanence of existence and live their lives a little more deeply after acknowledging that fact.

I was starting to realize all that, but then I realized it's Option-4.
posted by staggernation at 2:29 PM on February 22, 2007


Like Notre Dame and North Dakota? That is what I am getting at least. There isn't some secret google-method that brings up all the terrible things that I have been doing on the internet under this name is there?

On preview, I should? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by ND¢ at 2:29 PM on February 22, 2007


I was starting to realize all that, but then I realized it's Option-4.

Everytime I have given that speech someone has said "It is option 4" and everytime I think "I don't know what that is" and this time I am saying it. I don't know what that is. My computer doesn't have an "option" button. I guess I better start realizing stuff too.
posted by ND¢ at 2:31 PM on February 22, 2007


Also, I like typing long screams in all capitals. I once briefly had a blog that was like blogopain at blogspot, and it was all black and every entry was just variations of AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That joke got pretty tired pretty fast.
posted by ND¢ at 2:34 PM on February 22, 2007


I think "option" is a Mac key.

And if it makes you feel better (or worse), I always read your name correctly...almost. I always thought it was "indecence" (N. D. Cents)
posted by Bugbread at 2:35 PM on February 22, 2007


Preferably, you should call yourself out in Metatalk, then flame out spectacularly under your own relentless attacks. --dhartung

Yes, yes! Do an idiocallout please!
posted by Bugg at 2:36 PM on February 22, 2007


Also, I know that usually the second post is deleted, but I think all my stupid comments in this one will be enough to make it the deleted one. If I were an admin, I would make the reason for deletion "ND¢'s stupid comments in this one were enough to make it the deleted one". That would be funny.
posted by ND¢ at 2:37 PM on February 22, 2007


good plan, except it assumes jessamyn has an option key

goodbye world --> hello ironic twist!!!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 2:39 PM on February 22, 2007


Dude, why the fuck are you trying to get my post deleted?
posted by nevercalm at 2:39 PM on February 22, 2007


Unfortunately, the callout, at this point, would be something like "My post wasn't deleted and now I'm wicked pissed about it, something something."
posted by nevercalm at 2:41 PM on February 22, 2007


good plan, except it assumes jessamyn has an option key --stupidsexyFlanders

Great idea! My next sock puppet is so going to be 140;127;132; 133;134;135;137;138;. See if they can kill that one!
posted by Bugg at 2:46 PM on February 22, 2007


Doh!
posted by Bugg at 2:46 PM on February 22, 2007


When I type ND¢'s username, I use ¢opy and paste to remind myself that within a few years I will be ¢loned and live forever and it really won't matter what kind of in¢redibly dumb shit I do be¢ause I'll always be able to pull another me out of ¢old storage.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 2:51 PM on February 22, 2007


That makes no ¢.
posted by nevercalm at 3:08 PM on February 22, 2007


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