I, (state your name), do solemnly swear
February 22, 2010 7:45 AM Subscribe
The Oath Keepers pledge "to support and defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic … and meant it."
Glenn Beck loves them. Tea Partiers court them. Congressmen listen to them.
Depending on your perspective, the Oath Keepers are either strident defenders of liberty or dangerous peddlers of paranoia.
This post was deleted for the following reason: done it -- jessamyn
Are they required to read the Constitution or can they just operate based on whatever fantasies they believe it contains?
posted by wabbittwax at 7:52 AM on February 22, 2010 [11 favorites]
posted by wabbittwax at 7:52 AM on February 22, 2010 [11 favorites]
If Glenn Beck loved chocolate and ponies, I'd swear off both of them forever.
posted by diogenes at 7:54 AM on February 22, 2010
posted by diogenes at 7:54 AM on February 22, 2010
One some things we call agree, though: raping children is bad
posted by fatbird at 7:57 AM on February 22, 2010
posted by fatbird at 7:57 AM on February 22, 2010
Didn't we do this before? I could swear we'd covered the Oath Keepers and their reactionary reinterpretation of the constitution.
posted by klangklangston at 7:59 AM on February 22, 2010
posted by klangklangston at 7:59 AM on February 22, 2010
Better than a Promise Keeper, not as good as a Trapper Keeper.
posted by box at 8:00 AM on February 22, 2010 [11 favorites]
posted by box at 8:00 AM on February 22, 2010 [11 favorites]
fatbird: "One some things we can all agree, though: raping children is bad"
Not quite all.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:01 AM on February 22, 2010
Not quite all.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:01 AM on February 22, 2010
I'm glad they were so active during the Bush adminisrration's efforts to trash the Constitution. What true patriots!
posted by lunasol at 8:03 AM on February 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
posted by lunasol at 8:03 AM on February 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
We will NOT obey any order to conduct warrantless searches of the American people
How do they write something like this with a straight face? Seriously, if the cognitive dissonance here is fascinating, and if anyone has a better explanation than IOKIYAR, I'd love to hear it.
posted by EarBucket at 8:04 AM on February 22, 2010
How do they write something like this with a straight face? Seriously, if the cognitive dissonance here is fascinating, and if anyone has a better explanation than IOKIYAR, I'd love to hear it.
posted by EarBucket at 8:04 AM on February 22, 2010
There we go! I've been wondering why Glenn Beck was always so vociferous in his denunciations of Bush and the CIA's wiretapping program.
FWIW, Beck was a pretty outspoken critic of the Bush administration.
Of course, that's when he was on CNN and no one cared who he was.
posted by rulethirty at 8:05 AM on February 22, 2010
FWIW, Beck was a pretty outspoken critic of the Bush administration.
Of course, that's when he was on CNN and no one cared who he was.
posted by rulethirty at 8:05 AM on February 22, 2010
Well, crap! We did do this before.
Good catch, Klang.
Mods, do your thing.
posted by FfejL at 8:06 AM on February 22, 2010
Good catch, Klang.
Mods, do your thing.
posted by FfejL at 8:06 AM on February 22, 2010
Timothy McVeigh Finishing School.
posted by warbaby at 8:12 AM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by warbaby at 8:12 AM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
I'm going to go ahead and close this thread to comments relevant to the topic and open it for random bullshit that just tries to get in here before the thread is deleted.
posted by idiopath at 8:19 AM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by idiopath at 8:19 AM on February 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
This sounds like my group, the Justice Protectors. Here's a few of our key principles:
1. We will NOT assist NASA in any way with projects to capture people and send them into space against their will.
2. We will violently resist ANY attempt to ban the note F# from all recorded music.
3. We will NOT obey orders to clone dinosaurs and fit them with special mind control devices for military use against American citizens.
4. We will NOT join forces with any extra-terrestrial species or faction, even if that species or faction is at war with other extra-terrestrials that are our primary enemies.
5. We will NEVER go see that one band you never shut up about, that is just not our scene.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:25 AM on February 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
1. We will NOT assist NASA in any way with projects to capture people and send them into space against their will.
2. We will violently resist ANY attempt to ban the note F# from all recorded music.
3. We will NOT obey orders to clone dinosaurs and fit them with special mind control devices for military use against American citizens.
4. We will NOT join forces with any extra-terrestrial species or faction, even if that species or faction is at war with other extra-terrestrials that are our primary enemies.
5. We will NEVER go see that one band you never shut up about, that is just not our scene.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:25 AM on February 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
Wow idiopath, you're really tickling Jessamyn's trigger finger at this point...
posted by Salvor Hardin at 8:25 AM on February 22, 2010
posted by Salvor Hardin at 8:25 AM on February 22, 2010
2. We will NOT obey any order to conduct warrantless searches of the American people, their homes, vehicles, papers, or effects -- such as warrantless house-to house searches for weapons or persons.
The frozen banana that WON'T make you sick and kill you!
posted by Navelgazer at 8:25 AM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
The frozen banana that WON'T make you sick and kill you!
posted by Navelgazer at 8:25 AM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I wish I could legally whip a group of people into a stupid frenzy and not go to jail.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:34 AM on February 22, 2010
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:34 AM on February 22, 2010
I wish I could legally whip a group of people into a stupid frenzy and not go to jail.
Just mention the Bible and it's A-OK!
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:38 AM on February 22, 2010
Just mention the Bible and it's A-OK!
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:38 AM on February 22, 2010
I wish I could legally whip a group of people into a stupid frenzy and not go to jail.
Start a low-IQ S&M club!
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:41 AM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
Start a low-IQ S&M club!
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:41 AM on February 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
I was wondering where local paper message board posters were recruited from.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:41 AM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:41 AM on February 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Salvor Hardin: "you're really tickling Jessamyn's trigger finger"
I really didn't mean it I swear and I wasn't trying to fool anybody and it was just a harmless if overdone joke please don't hurt me
posted by idiopath at 8:44 AM on February 22, 2010
I really didn't mean it I swear and I wasn't trying to fool anybody and it was just a harmless if overdone joke please don't hurt me
posted by idiopath at 8:44 AM on February 22, 2010
Would we get special uniforms like super heroes? I'm in then! Otherwise, do what you want.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:50 AM on February 22, 2010
posted by cjorgensen at 8:50 AM on February 22, 2010
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posted by DU at 7:52 AM on February 22, 2010 [5 favorites]