Is your husband gay?
August 18, 2010 2:30 PM Subscribe
Bored at church? Use a cellphone? Go to the gym? Visit big cities? You're gay.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Seems to not be standing up that well to the traffic being thrown at it. -- cortex
This should go swimmingly.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:33 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 2:33 PM on August 18, 2010
The internet has broken my sarcasm detection abilities. Is this like a The Onion sub-site?
posted by battlebison at 2:34 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by battlebison at 2:34 PM on August 18, 2010
They would put a hot twink in they accompanying picture, wouldn't they?
posted by jefficator at 2:35 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by jefficator at 2:35 PM on August 18, 2010
Yes, Christwire is a LOLCHRISTIANS parody site.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:35 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:35 PM on August 18, 2010
(though lots of people don't know that...according to Dan Savage earlier today)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:35 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:35 PM on August 18, 2010
Gay men use the gym as a place to socialize and to have secret liaisons in the bathrooms.
I'm going to the wrong gym.
posted by fryman at 2:36 PM on August 18, 2010
I'm going to the wrong gym.
posted by fryman at 2:36 PM on August 18, 2010
I could tell this was satire when I read:
8) More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films
Pornography is a dangerous element in any marriage but there are many Christians who feel watching it does add something to their sexual lives. If you have gone down this road and find that your man perks up at the sight of the men in these sorts of videos, you should be concerned. If he selects films because of specific male actors, this is an obvious sign that he is suffering from a crisis of ego and desire.
Real Christian self-help websites don't say things like "Well, if you do choose to view pornography...". Pornography is not permitted. Period. You will never hear Christian counselors suggest porn to spice things up in the bedroom.
posted by Azazel Fel at 2:37 PM on August 18, 2010
8) More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films
Pornography is a dangerous element in any marriage but there are many Christians who feel watching it does add something to their sexual lives. If you have gone down this road and find that your man perks up at the sight of the men in these sorts of videos, you should be concerned. If he selects films because of specific male actors, this is an obvious sign that he is suffering from a crisis of ego and desire.
Real Christian self-help websites don't say things like "Well, if you do choose to view pornography...". Pornography is not permitted. Period. You will never hear Christian counselors suggest porn to spice things up in the bedroom.
posted by Azazel Fel at 2:37 PM on August 18, 2010
Oh dear, I think I met this poor man. More than once. Pro-tip for young homosexuals: it's kinda uncool to ask the visiting businessman trick "so you're married?" But if you do, then be prepared to listen for awhile.
Also: I first saw this article via my new favourite ever gay tumblog, CTRL+W33D (NSFW).
posted by Nelson at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
Also: I first saw this article via my new favourite ever gay tumblog, CTRL+W33D (NSFW).
posted by Nelson at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010 [1 favorite]
Pornography is not permitted. Period.
Or, at least, the flavors of Christianity that do permit porn also permit gayness.
posted by magnificent frigatebird at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010
Or, at least, the flavors of Christianity that do permit porn also permit gayness.
posted by magnificent frigatebird at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010
You will never hear Christian counselors suggest porn to spice things up in the bedroom.
So you promptly found a new counselor?
posted by joe lisboa at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010
So you promptly found a new counselor?
posted by joe lisboa at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010
Homosexuality can pop up at any time during a long-term relationship. Your spouse may have been experimenting with the “gay” lifestyle even before you met. Maybe he’s just using you as unwitting cover as he seeks playmates in the heterosexual world.
Apparently he is more confused about his homosexuality than we thought.
posted by el_lupino at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010
Apparently he is more confused about his homosexuality than we thought.
posted by el_lupino at 2:39 PM on August 18, 2010
Yeah, for a parody, this isn't actually very good, is it? I mean, it's kind of boring. I get the feeling the only humor here is in the "gotcha" of being tricked into thinking this is real – and since I already know that ChristWire is fake (links from there seem pretty common nowadays) there's not much to see here.
posted by koeselitz at 2:42 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by koeselitz at 2:42 PM on August 18, 2010
So what you're saying is that everyone I know is gay?
Seems about right.
posted by The Whelk at 2:44 PM on August 18, 2010
Seems about right.
posted by The Whelk at 2:44 PM on August 18, 2010
MCMikeNamara: "Christwire is a "
Whatever it is, it's 503 SERVICE TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE
posted by boo_radley at 2:44 PM on August 18, 2010
Whatever it is, it's 503 SERVICE TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE
posted by boo_radley at 2:44 PM on August 18, 2010
yes i think this might be parody
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:47 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:47 PM on August 18, 2010
Bored at church? Use a cellphone? Go to the gym? Visit big cities? You're gay.
Really? Huh. I guess that explains the tingling sensation I got watching Anderson Cooper school Congresswoman Riddle.
posted by Amanojaku at 2:48 PM on August 18, 2010
Really? Huh. I guess that explains the tingling sensation I got watching Anderson Cooper school Congresswoman Riddle.
posted by Amanojaku at 2:48 PM on August 18, 2010
If I had a husband I'm pretty sure we'd both be gay. (Or at least bi.)
posted by kmz at 2:51 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by kmz at 2:51 PM on August 18, 2010
Wait a minute -- my boyfriend goes to church (sometimes), doesn't have a cell phone, and never goes to the gym.
Does this mean he's not gay?
This could really put a damper on me making him my husband.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:54 PM on August 18, 2010
Does this mean he's not gay?
This could really put a damper on me making him my husband.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:54 PM on August 18, 2010
I need a better checklist. What if he shaves his balls but doesn't tweeze his eyebrows?
posted by phunniemee at 2:55 PM on August 18, 2010
posted by phunniemee at 2:55 PM on August 18, 2010
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