July 25, 2002

2:35 PM

Ashcroft's lunacy knows no bounds.In the midst of touting TIPS, he continues to defend his proposal "to immediately destroy government records of people who buy guns, disputing a congressional report that said his idea could help criminals get firearms illegally."
posted by donkeyschlong (37 comments total)

My first TIPS report is gonna be about that nutcase Ashcroft.
posted by DragonBoy at 2:59 PM on July 25, 2002

Orrin Hatch is now the voice of reason.

*head explodes*
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:02 PM on July 25, 2002

Rome.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:39 PM on July 25, 2002

I never thought I say this. I miss Janet Reno.
posted by brucec at 3:41 PM on July 25, 2002

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
posted by MaddCutty at 3:42 PM on July 25, 2002

War is peace? Why... that doesn't make any sense!
posted by poseur at 3:43 PM on July 25, 2002

What I don't see in the article is the reasoning or argument for only keeping the records one day. I'd be interested in at least knowing the justification for a change in policy.
posted by sixdifferentways at 4:04 PM on July 25, 2002

Is it at all possible that Ashcroft's agenda is to leave Americans with only the right to own guns, thereby pretty much forcing us to overthrow the government?

He's the Nader of the gun nuts!
posted by nicwolff at 4:15 PM on July 25, 2002

But some databases checked by the FBI have missing or incomplete records.

Ur, uh, maybe they should DO something about it then. If the system isn't working properly it needs to be MADE to work properly. This system has been in place for years and they STILL can't get it working properly? Please! Where does the cash from my gun transfers get spent anyway if not for improving the system to protect MY rights? Do they need $5 more per transfer? Well take it and do your jobs correctly ass-monkeys.

Of course, this is still a bit of a moot issue since most guns used in crimes are not acquired through legal channels anyway, so what's the point?
posted by RevGreg at 4:34 PM on July 25, 2002

Is it at all possible that Ashcroft's agenda is to leave Americans with only the right to own guns, thereby pretty much forcing us to overthrow the government?

If you look at it that way, that Ashcroft isn't such a bad guy after all...
posted by RevGreg at 4:36 PM on July 25, 2002

"We don't want a new database, I've recommended that there be no database and I've been assured there won't be one" created by the program, Ashcroft told the Senate Judiciary Committee."

So instead they will use an XML based flat file!

"Mr. Ashcroft, my neighbor has a MechWarrior in his backyard"
posted by srboisvert at 4:46 PM on July 25, 2002

It would be nice if Ashcroft cared about the rest of the constitution...

I mean, I'm not saying the 2nd amendment isn't important or whatever... but so are the other ones.
posted by delmoi at 5:11 PM on July 25, 2002

Ashcroft admirably and ably continues to draw fire away from his only slightly less ridiculous commander-in-chief.
posted by Ty Webb at 5:22 PM on July 25, 2002

I'm no Ashcroft fan, but for the sake of argument, has the man done anything you people approve of?
posted by insomnyuk at 6:04 PM on July 25, 2002

No.
posted by Lokheed at 6:08 PM on July 25, 2002

I'm no Ashcroft fan, but for the sake of argument, has the man done anything you people approve of?

While at the same time reminding the NRA lobby and NRA members that the Republicans are on their side so don't forget to vote.

I'm no Ashcroft fan, but for the sake of argument, has the man done anything you people approve of?

Lost to a dead man?
posted by alan at 6:12 PM on July 25, 2002

I'll bet these guys approve of Ashcroft's gun agenda:

"A training camp linked to Islamic militants has been operating in Alabama, and European law enforcement officials believe Muslim extremists were using it to prepare for a holy war.

"British authorities also thought that militants from overseas were training in the United States to take advantage of America's gun laws, sources told ABCNEWS. The looming question for law enforcement is whether there is a connection between the camp and the al Qaeda terror network.

"The most radical and belligerent of London's Islamic clerics, Abu Hamza, told ABCNEWS in a phone call that America's laws make such paramilitary training easy, 'like a picnic.'"

Oh, the irony...
posted by homunculus at 6:25 PM on July 25, 2002

Can I just say...

CAN WE VOTE FOR THIS AS BEST HEADLINE OF THE YEAR???



Please? Can we? Huh?
posted by gkr at 6:34 PM on July 25, 2002

A dangerous land where a man is permitted to own a firearm for his own protection will only lead to people owning and using personal, rather than government, transportation; speaking his own mind even if what he says is impolite, indecent, profane or radical; and, eventually, a barbaric expectation that he be able to live his life without being part of, contributing to, and cooperating with his community, government and nation!
posted by kablam at 6:42 PM on July 25, 2002

Is it any wonder foreign militias are taking advantage of our ludicrious gun legislation or lack thereof? Our domestic militias have been doing so for years. The whole situation is extremely head-up-the-ass.
posted by donkeyschlong at 6:59 PM on July 25, 2002

Well, as long as they are only going to be taking over england and not the US I don't see why they shouldn't be allowed to partake in american gun culture.

Certanly much more enjoyable then living in Afghanistan or some other ungodly place.
posted by delmoi at 7:14 PM on July 25, 2002

I get this creepy feeling that Ashcroft's actions and views might be related to his religious views about Apocalyptic stuff. And so forth.

Disclaimer: totally unfounded creepy heebie-jeebie feeling, any relation to reality is purely coincidental.
posted by beth at 7:16 PM on July 25, 2002

War is peace? Why... that doesn't make any sense!

Of course it doesn't make any sense, poseur. It's a quote from the book by George Orwell, 1984, and it is there to convince the populace that they must always be at war. That way the people will always be distracted and will never gain enough prosperity and freedom to threaten the current power structure. I could have quoted "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU" from the same book but that quote is overused.
posted by MaddCutty at 7:28 PM on July 25, 2002

Insomnyuk:

Yes. I agreed with Ashcroft's decision to delay and then continue with the execution of Timothy McVeigh. In general I oppose the death penalty, but given the law as written and the situation, I think Ashcroft acted appropriately.

I have to say, though, that I can't think of anything else he's done in the past year that I can agree with.
posted by Chanther at 7:34 PM on July 25, 2002

They can spot anomalies -- things that are different -- such as truck drivers seeing things happen that don't usually happen.

Whoa, slow down there, professor!
posted by delapohl at 8:04 PM on July 25, 2002

ROME
(we call her EMOR)

yes?
posted by clavdivs at 8:16 PM on July 25, 2002

A spirited defense of the TIPS program. Worth reading, even if you don't agree. (It's part of a series of posts.)
posted by dhartung at 8:57 PM on July 25, 2002

Yay, more warblog crap!
posted by artifex at 9:14 PM on July 25, 2002

Way to shout it down without even reading it artifex.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:24 PM on July 25, 2002

I did read it, you presumptuous ass.
posted by artifex at 9:28 PM on July 25, 2002

It sounded like you did not. And it was still 'shouting down'.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:33 PM on July 25, 2002

Can I insert a "LOL" here artifex and insomnyuk?
posted by crasspastor at 9:40 PM on July 25, 2002

Emperor Asscrotch sez...
posted by blackholebrain at 11:31 PM on July 25, 2002

I did read it, you presumptuous ass.

Heh...funniest thing I've read in weeks.

I must stop posting while drunk.
posted by BlueTrain at 11:55 PM on July 25, 2002

Orrin Hatch is now the voice of reason.

*head explodes*

Now that was hilarious!
posted by eas98 at 6:22 AM on July 26, 2002

kablam says, as a rousing finale:

"and, eventually, a barbaric expectation that he be able to live his life without being part of, contributing to, and cooperating with his community, government and nation!"

Are you seceding, then? Or just freeloading? Is this the kind of thing that gets called patriotism these days?

My apologies if I'm missing a level of irony or two.
posted by hackly_fracture at 8:05 AM on July 26, 2002

(Aside: I've read 1984 and got the quote. Felt that references to Orwell are becoming predictable. Attempted joke w/o emoticon support. Apologies. Please do carry on.)
posted by poseur at 1:11 PM on July 26, 2002