I’ve been composing the letter from my 60-year-old self that would have been of some real use at 16: things I wish I’d known earlier. “Dear Me . . .
If you see a dog, try dressing it in funny clothes. If you see a dog that's already dressed up, take a photograph. Always shave against the grain of your stubble. More than two blades is ridiculo...
posted by Greg Nog to MetaFilter at Nov-20-09 at 12:23 PM
172 users marked this as a favorite
Are you the dumbest shittiest dumbshit that ever shitted some dumb?
Dude is clearly out of his depth, but that's why he asked metafilter! My favorite "I'm not sure what to do here" thing in that thread is his reference to "females" over and over again, which led me to read all his responses in Morbo's voice.
HUMAN FEMALE ...
posted by Greg Nog to MetaTalk at Nov-23-09 at 11:04 AM
158 users marked this as a favorite
SPEECH
Um, uh
So it's a running joke in my family that I do not win raffles. Raffles, lotteries, sweepstakes: anything that involves getting selected by chance? I don't win. On the other hand my dad, my SO, and my son are like raffle magnets, if any of them enter a game their numbers will get drawn at least once (like ColdChef!) I've actually...
posted by jamaro to MetaTalk at Nov-21-09 at 10:07 AM
105 users marked this as a favorite
Not to Treaty of Whestphalia the discussion in this thread... but just to reassert that I love MetaFilter above all other online communities, I'll post the full list here for y'all to pick over at your lesiure. Backstory to the creation of the list, and a description of methods, etc. can be found in the header of this Reddit thread. Hope you enjo...
posted by jjjjjjjijjjjjjj to MetaFilter at Nov-23-09 at 9:11 AM
104 users marked this as a favorite
The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.
The Pope: "I am the pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me."
The Pope: "But...
posted by netbros to MetaFilter at Nov-23-09 at 3:12 AM
94 users marked this as a favorite
Amazing! Give right-wing ideologues thirty years to fester, a 24-hour news channel blaring lies and propaganda, and an opposition party too weak to make substantive policy without first consulting their enemies, and look what happens!
You can't reason with them. They won't hear it.
You can't appeal to their better natures. They don't have them...
posted by BitterOldPunk to MetaFilter at Nov-22-09 at 2:23 PM
89 users marked this as a favorite
On the serious side of things: Ladies in hetero relationships, your man does not want to hear you vent about your problems. This is not because he is unsympathetic or does not care-- quite the opposite, in fact. For a man, problems must be solved. To learn about a problem that directly impacts his woman (whom he must protect at all costs) is exactl...
posted by Faint of Butt to Ask MetaFilter at Nov-20-09 at 1:27 PM
73 users marked this as a favorite
"As a man myself, I would say that a "good man" is one who acts basically in accordance with the Boy Scout Law."
Based on the ex-Scouts I've met, this sounds like a good way to end up with a guy who experiments sexually with his buddies on weekend campouts.
posted by hermitosis to MetaFilter at Nov-22-09 at 3:34 PM
66 users marked this as a favorite
I've said it before and I'll say it again: the sex won't destroy you. Actually, the sex will probably be great. The affair won't destroy you. It'll probably be great fun and excitement!
The lies, however, will destroy you. Lies are the foundation of misery. Lies are corrosive acid to the human conscience. Some people are capable of tremendous ly...
posted by Avenger to MetaFilter at Nov-21-09 at 11:01 AM
65 users marked this as a favorite
You should take your sister away for Thanksgiving. Neither of you should go to your parents' house. Your parents are behaving badly, and you need to put your sister's welfare first, regardless of whether they feel "okay" about it. Your sister needs to have your support at this difficult time and understand that you believe her. You can do...
posted by decathecting to Ask MetaFilter at Nov-25-09 at 7:29 AM
61 users marked this as a favorite
Airwolf references? Sharpied map? CD inside a floppy disk? My God he's found the shard of the evil hipster god known to the ancient Germans as Víðarr. For 120 days and nights the bands of Williamsburg played benefit concerts non-stop to defeat this evil, but this was an old god and his powers were strong. They say such was Víðarr's irony that his ...
posted by geoff. to MetaFilter at Nov-24-09 at 9:44 AM
60 users marked this as a favorite
Being a hardcore Christian teenager was very confusing, by the way. On one hand I was internalizing messages exactly like the charming "rap" video posted by Amanda Hess. On the other hand I was a bag of raging hormones. My diary entries looked a lot like this:
"I guess my shirt was too tight because I caught Mike looking at my boo...
posted by muddgirl to MetaFilter at Nov-23-09 at 11:40 AM
59 users marked this as a favorite
and comments 