Tache and Go

September 21, 2003 1:02 AM

Tacheback? (via The Presurfer)
Another web widget I have to add to my blog to stay cool? No, it's another moustache-growing contest, organized to support "The Institute of Cancer Research's national campaign to raise awareness and funding for male cancers". What do moustaches have to do with "male cancers"? Don't ask. Why did I say "another"? Because the biennial World Beard and Moustache Championships are coming to Carson City, Nevada, November 1st. Of course some media have already given this man the title of "World's Longest Moustache" (at least those who paid him $5 to take his picture).
posted by wendell (13 comments total)

Now that, my friends, is some serious facial hair. My own three-week-old 'stache seems downright insignificant by comparison--like a small speck of a man gazing into the infinite depths of the hairy universe.

See also, of course, the Moustache Database and the Despot or Sexpot Quiz. (Previously discussed here.)

I'd link to the somewhat bizarre and incoherent story of my (rather pathetic) moustache, the contest I grew it for, and the petition to grow it back, but a. that would be blatant self-linking, and we don't do that here, and b. my blog's really a bit of a mess, like I should at least tidy up the dishes and vacuum a bit before you all come over.

really, if you click it's your own fault, don't say I didn't warn you.

if you can read this, you're driving too close
posted by arto at 2:16 AM on September 21, 2003

Let me just say that "moustache man" up there is cheating by using sctions of his face that I designate as "beard areas." Growing a long beard and then shaving off portions to make it look like a moustache doesn't get into my facial hair book of records. I'm just saying, is all.

(fun links, by the way)
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:23 AM on September 21, 2003

THE END TIMES ARE NEIGH.
posted by Hackworth at 2:34 AM on September 21, 2003

My mustache and beard grows more like abrush - an implement for scrubing at first and then a burly itchy wiry wool.

(useless insert - music at the moment Jade Warrior - I wonder if any were bearded)

Are Hassidim excluded from this, or do they have their own definition of neat?

SUN
posted by RubberHen at 2:49 AM on September 21, 2003

Sorry for the typos I pressed post too quick - I agree with Joey - plus if you look closely he holds up his chopper stache with wire!!
posted by RubberHen at 2:51 AM on September 21, 2003

If you can read this, your moustache is probably touching the screen.
posted by wendell at 3:00 AM on September 21, 2003

so what's worse than a self-link? why, a broken self link! let's try that again, shall we?
posted by arto at 3:21 AM on September 21, 2003

Freestyle beard champion.

Excellent.
posted by kavasa at 11:18 AM on September 21, 2003

too bad I can't grow a stache in 10 days.
a month I can work with.

arto, your broken self-link is now fixed, but not the Despot or Sexpot Quiz link. That just goes back to your stache. I mean, really. I have to vote you Despot. Despot!
posted by Busithoth at 1:40 PM on September 21, 2003

I love the patriotic note that's struck here--"Organizers hope for a large turnout of bearded and moustached Americans to compete against the dominant German team." In that case, why aren't they booking ZZ Top to perform, instead of some lousy oompah band?

Also impressive are the, uh, mad Photoshop skillz of whoever illustrated the Categories page.
posted by Kat Allison at 3:05 PM on September 21, 2003

Shouldn't it be stacheback.com? I've never heard anyone refer to it as a "tache"...

And there's nothing wrong with goatees.
posted by sharpener at 3:21 PM on September 21, 2003

Great links wendell, but I must disabuse you of the notion that any of these rank amateurs can hold a candle to this fellow.

If you can't or don't want to grow your own, you can buy moustache and eyebrow sets, some hand-tied human hair moustaches or download a blueprint of Dan Hick's moustache and build your own. .
posted by madamjujujive at 4:40 PM on September 21, 2003

Damn me and my posting under the influence. Here ya go, Despot or Sexpot?, complete with jokey MeFi subdomain[*]--yer gonna have to click on the link on the FPP yerself. I've got some sort of reign of terror to attend to, evidently. Hey, there's a sale on uranium in Uganda!

And mjjjjjjjj, I refuse on principle to buy any fake moustache that does not include the traditional Groucho Marx nose and glasses. Some things must never be tampered with.

sharpener: In my opinion, which I shall for the time being pretend is humble, the goatee is not so much the mortal enemy of the moustache, as merely the default choice for facial hair since, oh, '93 or so. (I choose this point for reasons which are completely unrelated to my first growing a goatee around that time. Reasons which, of course, I shall not elaborate on, except to say that society at large was obviously a little disenchanted with the whole post-secondary education thing, was reading a little too much Kerouac/Burroughs/what-have-you, and to top it all off, had recently seen both an adaptation of Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes" and several Doctor Who episodes featuring The Master as villain, and being young-ish and impressionable-ish, society at large decided that Evil Beatnik was a top-notch subtext for facial hair. Plus, then as now, society at large wasn't doin' too well with The Lay-deez, so why not experiment?) Ten years of goatee-dom later, minus of course certain periods of job-hunting, and perhaps it's time for a change, time to cast off the shackles of what has become conformity (I mean, Don Cherry and the guy from Nickleback both have goatees!) and time to rehabilitate the image of a facial hair statement that was last considered hip when Tom Sellack was a major star.

(Rumours that I--uh, I mean society at large--have an absurd compulsion to become as many squares of Hipster Bingo at once as possible, while still only having a vague idea of who Interpol (the band) are or what the big deal with the Strokes is, are merely that, rumours.)

[*]2nd.birthday.for.metafilter.com is actually the top google result? Impressive.
posted by arto at 12:38 AM on September 22, 2003